sad--every--today - Tumblr blog

[sad--every--today]

[sad--every--today]

i guess im back

i dont want to be back but im here

[sad--every--today]

[sad--every--today]

Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

[sad--every--today]

[sad--every--today]

i’m good at keeping secrets i’m better at being a secret this is the only way i’m valuable

[sad--every--today]

i’ ve done a pretty good job of pushing my friends away now i’ m free from the  expectations they put on me let them be disappointed in me i don’ t care anymore it’ s not going to  matter really eventually.

[sad--every--today]

it hurts every day and i want the hurting to just go away but i don’t want to disappoint you pathetic

[sad--every--today]

i’m not a doll you can’t mend me and put me on a shelf job done i’m a thing alive and in pain and if you try to fix me we’ll just hurt each other please don’t give me hope

[sad--every--today]

[sad--every--today]

it is it is all my fault

[sad--every--today]

i cried while putting on my makeup but just kept going if it’s a mess it’s a mess i’m a mess there’s no covering it up no pigment glitter or lines will fix what’s wrong with me

[sad--every--today]

i am i am so disgusting

[sad--every--today]

[sad--every--today]

i know that there is no trans* enough i know passing is a myth and  measured by unjust means i know that i m pathetic for wanting these things and that i m unloveable no matter what

[sad--every--today]

[sad--every--today]

filth