ryelandordyeland

[ryelandordyeland]

i serve my heart to you on a silver platter,

please do not tear into it, please don't let your friends have a bite.

I want your teeth to tear into it gently.

enjoy me delicately and savor it

so that you're done, you'll ask for seconds.

[ryelandordyeland]

When Alligator babies hatch, the mother knows she is a dangerous vessle made to kill.

A single bite, a whip of her tail, her very essence screams she is not made for motherhood.

So she gathers all of her young in her mouth, and holds them as gently as she can, as gently as she knows how.

And carries them away from their nest, away from what theyve known in her jaws.

Sometimes i feel as if i am holding you in my teeth, fighting all i know.

I want to be gentle for you, i really do.

You look past my fangs and thick skin.

And you see a lover.

i love you.

[ryelandordyeland]

I look for a little bit of you in everything

during clear skies i see your blue eyes

when i a song i hear you humming along to the tune

you tap your fingers on your desk the same way rain patters on my windows

and i realize ive fallen in love with the world, and living, because the world is a part of you the same way you are a part of me.

[ryelandordyeland]

I miss you when the morning comes

because even when you say "we're not done"

i feel increasingly ever so dumb

when i see you two underneath the sun

[ryelandordyeland]

I wanted to fake my own death to see if you'd miss me.

if you would mourn the things you never said, and if you would hold quiet promises close to your chest.

But as a stare at a blinking cursor, a wall of blue.

I realized i must've already been dead to you.

[ryelandordyeland]

oh my god, you're beautiful.

[ryelandordyeland]

i asked you to stay with me by getting you a ring that was too small for you.

you wear it close to your chest, but another close to your heart.

[ryelandordyeland]

I had breathed in a scent that felt so familiar,

it reminded me of late nights under the stars

it reminded me of shared giggles and jokes no one has ever heard

it reminded me of how you tasted on my tongue

i inhaled again, and it was gone.

[ryelandordyeland]

I do not look a gift horse in its mouth.

I instead pick it apart with tweezers and analyze it with microscopes.

To let anyone come through my walls while my guard is down,

Is for fools who trust those outside of them.

[ryelandordyeland]

Not for the gods sake, but for the sake of humans who replace gods with machines, created not by the infallible divine, but mortal, fallible hands.

[ryelandordyeland]

and thank you dearest for sticking with me through it all

when my voice wavers and cracks you are there to mend it

and when my eyes well with tears after my dam collapses you don't rebuild it, instead letting my tears flow freely.

im sorry i cannot give you the love that you truly deserve

but i thank you for staying here with me

in this house with peeling wallpaper and cracked walls

where the water leaks and the faucet drips eternally.

we will make it ours one day.

[ryelandordyeland]

Tear my heart out, admire its beauty

for it bleeds for you

gouge my eyes out and put them in a jar

for all i want is to see you

rip apart my lungs and display them on your walls

Your breath against my neck is all i'll ever need

Take what you want of me, you may have it all

i just wish to be your finest of your collection.

[ryelandordyeland]

I have realized i am undeniably bitter.

i growl and bare my teeth at the wind when i hear whispers of your name.

i spit at the taste in my mouth when i remember what was once there.

i stare at you from across the room in silence as i watch you smile at her. the smile was never hers to begin with.

and i come home and throw myself onto my bed, my sheets still hold desperately to the last shreds of your cologne.

so do i.

[ryelandordyeland]

I will kiss away your tears even if they make my cracked lips burn

[ryelandordyeland]

And i said "You will always have a place in my heart, even if you choose to never visit, and your memories will collect dust with time. It will stay there for you" and then we ended.

[ryelandordyeland]

And in every lifetime,

its always you.

I can't run,

but God I need to please.

For I can't do this again.

I refuse to keep being reborn into the person you will never need.

[ryelandordyeland]

And the stars scowl upon you

for you are brighter than they will ever be

And the moon glares

for you are the holder of my secrets

and the sun weeps

for my world revolves around you