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for I am death

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Have you ever painted 1931 Renfield?

Hey, actually, no O_O So I decided to rectify that problem. Thank you anon!

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Sorry for the little ad here :)

MERCH!

OK guys I finally received some items! I currently have the Montgomery x Rommel standee and the Model postcard in stock. Well, at least pay me a visit at my little store!

↓↓↓

merch page.

If you are from outside Taiwan, I'm sorry, I can only process your order with google form and Paypal :(

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Sorry guys for lack of posts here; I've been literally drowning in my WWII side of fandom stuff :S

The Desert Eden

Neither this post nor Rommel is sponsored by Estee Lauder, I swear. This digital drawing is my attempt to capture the scent within this tiny bottle.

Some time ago, my friend mustered some money to get me this incredible perfume sample-- it must be known that this Esteee Lauder perfume series is mad expensive, and we are both very broke. Immediately, its name intrigues me-- DESERT EDEN.

At least based on its Chinese namesake 檀沙玫瑰, DESERT EDEN's notes are built upon very heavy rose-- which might lead many perfume lovers to believe it as mainly for women, and be shocked when it comes out too strong, unwearable even.

On Fragrantica, this perfume is marked as for MEN and for women. It is not one of those nondescript unisex type deal, with notes like fresh citrus, sweet amber, harmless vanilla or neutral musk— something any gender could wear and no one is offended. If the perfumer manufactured this bottle the inoffensive way, it could only end up purely feminine. It's a bouquet of roses after all.

Somehow, Estee Lauder made rose incredibly masculine. There's leather and iron, anger and strength in it. It's a bottle of roses in harsh climate adorn in thorns, ready to hurt, maybe be hurt, unique and brutal-- uniquely brutal. If your body odor/temperature cannot handle aldehydic types like Chanel no.5, I highly do not recommend. Except if you are born a man, maybe try out.

IDK, the DESERT EDEN just reminds me of Rommel, regardless of its name. I wear it with caution or else my colleagues are going to water-hose me down. I know shipping Montrommel (Montgomery x Rommel) too hard is part of my obsession with it, but what the heck.

This desert is their garden of Eden, where enemies could just be enemies, no intrigues, conspiracy, ideologies and politics, where surrender rather than needless massacres is the ultimate prize.

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"You are my black sun, master."

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It is like 100th time I see how being self-critical ruins an artist; it can definitely be the no.1 obstacle to progress. I am very lucky... or dare I say, unlucky, to not have this problem. You see, when my right hand is overworked and needs a rest, I do art practices with my left hand. You have to NOT CARE how ugly anything looks to be able to do that, using your non-functioning hand just get some art concepts to stick.

I have Asian parents who absolutely despise art. When my father found out high school me tried to do flip animation using the home printer, he had me stood in front of him and lecture me on art is a waste of time, I am wasting printer paper, and gods will punish wastefulness. Talent is a gift from gods; it stands to reason that it is rare among humans, how the hell do I think I have that? Wake up you have no talent. Go study and get straight As.

I never had a chance to go to art school, everything is self-taught after I moved out and become a working member of society. That means I learn to draw really, really, really late in life, after adulthood. I am never critical of myself, because "I suck, I have no talent" is my default mentality. If I want to draw XX realistically, I will get there no matter what. Whether my XX is good enough is irrelevant, because I just suck, but at least I get my XX.

Artists should understand the power of not give a shit, is the power of progress-- even if you got that power from a horrible family, and that's the magical part-- it still works even if this mentality was formed under toxicity.

Nowadays I own two blogs, this one and the wwii one; I tentatively showed one of my art in my family group chat (a "normal" one of course). Immediately awkwardness came over the chat, and everybody straight up ignored me. That's because I objectively don't suck at art, so my family can't tell me my art sucks ass in good conscience. Yet my parents hate losing face, so they remain silent, pretend they do not see my art at all. They sulked for a few days afterwards, so I never brought it up. Being wrong about their children is a big embarrassment moment for Asians, and it is the kids' problem, not theirs.

Wow thank you mom, dad, for the art skills and a lifelong mental health black hole.

Let's see something more lighthearted. I laugh so hard every time cuz it is so accurate LMAO.

hello! if you're a self-taught artist, do you have any beginner tips for overly critical artists?

my partner has really cool art ideas but hesitates to put them on paper. he used to draw back in highschool but stopped. i really want to get him drawing again since he gets all excited and shiny when he talks about his ideas but he's very self-critical.

how could i gently push him back to the pencil? im thinking of having an art date with him to try and start the flame but how can i encourage him that it doesnt have to be perfect on the first few times?

i dont have the mind of an artist or their anxieties so im hoping other artists could help him out.

idk if it makes a difference but he's studying to become a licensed physical therapist and i told him that it sounds really convenient to know how to draw with his course (like anatomy)

thank you! any advice would help

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Ah I couldn't find the high resolution version of my photography series; I really had a bad habit of not backing things up properly :(

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Ah I dug out my very old drawings of some OCs :)

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These are drawings that I am going to fit into my Dracfield comic, somehow. LMAO. I like crossing over vampire universes a little bit, it's a very attractive idea for me.

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How is it that Dracfield are soo compatible with eachother? I mean Dracula must have sent for a lawyer many times over and possibly none replied or they were too scared to believe a foreign count from from some other county like Transilvania would truly want from their county. or maybe the reason why Dracula was driven out of England and later on killed so close to his home is that Harker and his friends were Anti immagrant? Renfield must of been with Dracula for a few months at best the first time he came to Castle Dracula?

It could not have been a quck one night in the castle with his fine sexy host and then go immedeatly to England? like in the 1931 film?

Sorry it takes crazy long for me to answer you ☹ As to your thoughts, I think there is always something foolish and pure about Renfield- despite him thinking himself to be “street-smart and worldly”, “able to take questionable opportunities”, that allows him to accept things other lawyers simply would not- a cute kid finally takes advantage of a situation for once and that seriously backfires.

Your observation is very interesting; I do not know the situations around immigrants in that era, but in the very least, I believe the Count intended to spend amazing time with his new found lover around 1931- there was extreme decadence in the air, and I suppose the Count did not think about “tomorrow”, despite being immortal- there was Great Depression that started at 1929, where everything goes up in brilliant flames and dies, you might as well enjoy whatever luxury while it lasts. It is so difficult to read the Count’s mind, what he’d do with his little pet, and how long could he see into the future-- after all, the 1930s is pre-WWII, and it is a very interesting topic to expand upon.

In the meantime, my Robert is back at the hospital locker room scene, as distressed as my old squeaky right shoulder. I love to see him psychologically suffer maybe a little bit too much :S

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So I recently saw Sanctuary

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I was answering this ASK at my side blog. Everybody needs to back things up best way possible; internet is not as permanent as it seems. Look Tiktok is getting banned. Huh?

Honestly I think WIX is cool, but premiums are too expensive, I regret buying some of it. Still I am reblogging it to you guys and see if any of you may find it useful.

How do one create a personal website to store all their art in it? I've been craving to do so in ages but just can't seem to get the hang of how to operate Wix.

Wix is not difficult to operate, the hard part is to design it. If you follow its guidance, you'd end up with ugly results.

These are the sites I own-

I store my ancient junks in this one.

I still love the Death of Stalin fandom.

It is for my conspiracy theories fandom (yea that is a fandom)

I advertised myself as a Wix designer using these 2 samples sites-

01／02

I did get a little bit of commissions here and there, like these ones-

01 ／ 02 ／ 03 ／ 04 ／ 05 ／ 06 ／ 07 ／ 08

But I don't do it anymore, because the motherfucker from 08 refused to pay me, reason being I unlawfully modified her art (I make that eye blinking animation for her OC). People never give you any materials to work with, I come up with everything myself. Not worth it.

Nowadays I make things simple, because I am old and lazy.

01 ／ 02 ／ 03

Yeah that's about it. But let me tell you, Wix blog is janky AH. But since websites are not social media, they are just "media", the company leaves your stuff alone. I believe backups are by far more secure over there.

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I do wish we had more information on Renfield's charactor, i mean in the book we barely know who he is besides a lunatic who is in a insane asylum! and the count his beloved master.

No wonder dracfield make such a great couple they are sexy and beautifiul...

Let me use this chance to present the chapter 2 of the comic of which I haven’t come up with a name *lmao*. I am thankful of your question, and I am optimistic about it actually. Precisely because there are so many gaps about Renfield, that people are able to draw from different sources to enrich him, and of course his dear master. It allows huge freedom while a healthy level of respect to an original work may be maintained.

Honorable mention- Page 2 is in reference of the fabulous work by CyanParade, please give her a follow.

I know page 3 is censored pretty ugly but censoring has to be done:/ . I store the original in my Dungeon.

Thank you again. I will continue working :D

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Hello! I didn’t even realize the sensual vampire art was from Renfield, lol. You have inspired me to push that movie to the top of my to-watch list this weekend. I love WWDITS and have been hedging on this for MONTHS. I will watch it, now.

Hey, I like WWDITS, too! But it is actually the 2014 movie version that I watched and appreciate very much. The WWDITS lore is incredibly well written and witty (after all, it's a mock-documentary), and could supplement some lacking lore-aspects of Renfield. I really really don't mind them existing in the same universe hehe.

I am so glad that you like the sensual aspects of my vampire arts and find them inspiring. Admittedly, I am far less edgy, less intense than other artists in the whole vampire universe. Yes, you definitely should check out Renfield, the vampire and his little slave have unique chemistry both on their own and together, I think it is a treat!

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Can i ask you for a portrait of Dracfield at the end of the world? I just read one of the most saddest Dracfield fanfics ever!

End of the Line by Incy Little Spider (1ncylilspider). On AOE! i bawled like a baby while readng this!!!!!

Yes, I see it; truly I highly recommend this fanfic to everybody Q_Q. I wonder if I could master this scene. Perhaps the real question is- when the hell will I be able to finish my current comic *drop dead*

Couldn't believe this baby is the one who sets his master on fire *figuratively and literally*.

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This face is almost orgasmic... he saying "I want to be destroyed" without having to say anything. How come I didn't come to realize it when I drew his sex scenes?????

Your header pic of sad Renny changes slightly whenever i look at it sometimes looking comically sad like 🥺 and other times more neutral like 😐 like it moves on a spectrum between those two extremes? I wonder if my mood effects how I percieve it or whether its a 'i want to see the boy cry and suffer' vs 'i want to see him be a bad independent bitch.'

Omg you've discovered a magical Mona Lisa Renfield! I'm looking at it and you're totally right!!

I mean that's what's so ingenious about his acting in this scene, right?? He's fighting internally between defiance and submission at every moment! But you're so right, even when I watch this scene I'm caught between "Stand up to him, Renfield!!" and "YES, break him completely as a person, Dracula!"

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This version's Renfield is pretty lovable too. I saw you were prim and proper before... all of this went down, my boy.

Glad to see that associating with a vampire causes you to have good vision! (Even if you do turn into an extremely pale blood obsessed guy)