roygitsu
This is me!!
Love, Life and Live to the fullest
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A Wedding and funeral
What is the fastest way to gather people who seems do not have time to meet each other even though they're living in the same city/town... there are two.. the first one is funeral and the second one is a wedding.
Today,got shocking news from one of my closest friend,that her mother whom we ( me and some other friends) sometimes consider as our own mother has passed away. she left this world early in the morning.. she had cancer and she doesnt have to fight anymore. And i can tell that she was one of the strongest human being i've ever encountered with,passionate and the most loving mother to her children's friends. she was treating us beautifully and always made sure we have our stomach filled before we leave her house. surely you'll be missed mama Cucu... and her funeral gather most of our friends who lives in Bandung who have no time to see each other frequently.
And today, a friend of mine invite me to attend wedding of one of his family member. i can see people singing,laughing and trying to catch each other. some of them seems like having the whole time to tell stories. And i am sure most of them not seeing each other that much.
This last few years,i started frequently calling people whom i consider close to my heart,make sure that they're still have part in my heart. amd to make sure that they do the same. Becos i know and realise that we have no idea when is our time to meet our creator.
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Relationship
Been living in this world for almost 36 years and for all this time i just do what i have to do. enjoying every moment of my life. i cannot recall there was a moment that i dont like. i do believe all the good and bad things shape me becoming the person i am today.
Along the way, definitely there were time i'm in love. the time when i'm crushing on someone deeply. time when i got rejected badly. Time when i hurt seriously and as time goes by i am healing again. there was no cure for broken heart but surely time healed. It will definitely cured by itself. no secret formula...
The last serious relationship of mine was a few years ago and i told myself that i am not ready yet for serious one this time around. it's been years i am being single and happy... and enjoying my life beautifully cos i got what i need.
Sometimes, i think being single is good, in fact its great. There are times a person likes me so much,wanna be with me; but i just can't. i dont know why but i just can't. i am type of a person when someone likes me / loves me then i'll lost all the affection. no more sparkling in my eyes nor my heart. i prefer to love someone first then being loved. recently someone confessed to me... secretly been in love with me and loving me as the way i am but i dont know what to say. My mind were blank.. suddenly i have no idea. some people loving me, wanna be with me... some asked me to open my heart, wrecking the wall that i've built so high but i tell to myself, there is no wall, no barriers.. there is nothing. i just not ready yet being attached to someone phisycally and mentally. i am enjoying myself being single. have no problem being one. All i know i got myself to pleased me. i got bestfriends that i can count on though i've never asking for help because i know,only me myself who can help me.
It's not because i trust no one, it's just because i know myself better. It's not i want to be single forever, just because i want to be in this way for time being. being single ia not a big problem. as long as i am happy i believe thats all that matter... my own happiness.
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I believe this universe has itsown way, shifting what we think impossible to possible. Reading this book up in the sky, 33000 feet above, sounds cheesy but thats how i spent my 1 hour and 25 minutes flight from Jakarta to Sampit.
I dunno exactly when and how i want to read this piece, all i know i went back to Jakarta for short visit on July 2nd and i ended having this.
This book ( though she dedicated to woman) touched me somehow. at this age i think most of us having the same vision ( or its only Sophie and i) lol. In this post 30 something age, i found myself not into what i am years ago. i gave up on living in a big city, Very selective with whom i talking to. my circle is getting narrower but somehow i am happier. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT AND HOW TO GET IT.
reading this book, truly a journey of self discovery. Many many years ago, i lived with my younger brother for few years, it was only two of us and since then i HATE HIM the most, the way our mother treat us differently was one of the point. long story short, few days ago i call him and started conversation. it was indeed the longest we’ve talk over the years and luckily it was over the phone, though its only a minute or so but i know that it is just a started, because for the first time after a long time there were no hatred in my head. it’s been 17 years since i am away from my family and i believe there were no time for me to think about them, it was only me,me,myself, my friends,me, my friends, my friends, me,me and me.
The way she wrote the sentence just felt so right, you know that it kicked the right spot. this book open a new way of thinking about loving yourself. as for me i apply it already this last few years, that my happiness is above everything. i’ll do my best to keep people surrounds me happy and when i know they cannot do the same, i opt out with no hesitation. this is my life and rules are apply according to my own laws.
It is simple and just like reading what us (readers) been through, feels like reading my own journal if i ever have one 😉😉
All the things she said in the book are related to most of us whose growing up in the 90s.. at least for me. Though i never experience those kind of bullies but i feel you and i do really againts bullying. and one more thing about that naming is so true!! My name is Roy but often people call me Roi or Rowi.
And yes i post this one 2 weeks after i got this book becos i was on a challenge of myself to be away from social medias.
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