rowanofferelden

[rowanofferelden]

do people have no shame anymore?

[rowanofferelden]

Well... I haven't touched tumbler in years.. I'll throw some of my art here ☝️

[rowanofferelden]

having to wait for the next book in a series to be released is evil wtf. all literature should have already been written 2000 years ago so i don’t have to wait to read it now

[rowanofferelden]

have you ever been told you look like a celebrity?

yes (who? 👀)

no

[rowanofferelden]

[rowanofferelden]

you can get shockingly far just by giving people things

[rowanofferelden]

The answer to your problems is self-discipline

[rowanofferelden]

taking the porn off tumblr just made us all hornier. it used to be that we’d only sexualize basic things, like human bodies. but now?? you wouldn’t believe the things my mutuals are getting off to

[rowanofferelden]

if you've ever wondered why there are so many light novels and anime where either the main character or love interest is the "villainess" from an Otome game and said Otome game has basically the same set-up every time, it's because the originator of the Otome game genre is this game called Angelique and in Angelique the player character has a female rival named Rosalia de Cartegena and fans of the game liked Rosalia so much that it became extremely common to write Angelique fanfiction where Rosalia gets some kind of happy ending but then one day one of the biggest fanfiction archives in Japan decided they only wanted to host original fiction from now on so a lot of fanfiction writers started writing what is basically fanfic with the serial numbers filed off where a self insert character gets magically transported to or reincarnated in a copyright safe version of their favorite video game and the Rosalia fans did this so much it essentially sprung out into its own genre which now gets like one anime per season minimum.

[rowanofferelden]

One of my favourite facial expressions in op is the “there’s NO WAY in hell I’m loosing to a teenager wearing flip flops” face

[rowanofferelden]

I recently got an on-campus job. During the interview process, I requested that I not be scheduled on Friday nights or Saturdays as I am a Jewish student.

My boss immeadiately brightened and rushed to explain - "Of course ! Of course! We want to accomodate you! We have another worker who takes off for Ramadan. Do you need to take off for Ramadan?"

I shook my head, incredibly confused. "Uh. That's. Not my jurisdiction. I'm good." Boss nodded but was sure to add "Let me know if that ever changes. We can help you with Ramadan."

[rowanofferelden]

although I find both institutions detestable I think they should force the vatican to compete in the Olympics. let's see what those priests can do

[rowanofferelden]

I get real "I'm at soup" vibes from some media crit

[rowanofferelden]

Feature ideas I have to make tumblr worse

Unfollow notifications. When someone unfollows you, you receive a notification about it. The notification includes the last post of yours that the unfollower saw so you know what the final straw was.

If the unfollower was a mutual then this notification comes with stats about how long you were mutuals and a list of comutuals who have to pick sides in the divorce. The comutuals receive this notification too

Ability to edit other people's replies.

Ability to edit other people's blog themes.

The ability to gift debuffs like those cooking competition shows. Pay $15 to make someone you hate only be allowed to post 20 times a day. Pay $30 and they can only make posts out of the set of pre-approved family-friendly message options like the Webkinz chatroom.

De-blaze. Halt someone else's post right in its tracks by removing all impressions. The more a post is circulating the more expensive this is.

30 Day Trial Follows. When you follow someone you can't unfollow them for at least 30 days because c'mon, don't you wanna at least give them a chance?

Obligatory "Tumblr houses". You have to act really really excited for the yearly sportsball tournament or risk being shadowbanned. Your blog is forcibly themed after your Tumblr house.

Obligatory name, face, and address when you sign up. This isn't for verification or anything this is explicitly for doxxing. Hopefully you'll think twice about posting your rancid My Little Pony take now that you know the whole fandom can be at your doorstep in an hour.

[rowanofferelden]

Medieval Scooby

[rowanofferelden]

Top-Tier Villain Motivations

They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.

I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.

Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.

Yes, Master

Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!

I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)

I don't want a better future, I want a better past!

No other way to get performance art funded these days