rosietehriveter

[rosietehriveter]

man I just really want a dirt nap

I yearn for the soil -Totally not a worm

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This is the reason I no longer took French as a second language. They all lil shits

The Eiffel tower is going to be deconstructed.

[rosietehriveter]

Could you offer some tips for D&D?

There is a trick to each dice roll. To get high numbers, try these:

d4: Drop the die from a height of at least 4, this will guarantee you get 4.

d6: The cubic or "Caesar's Dice" can be made to roll a 6 by blowing on them as they fall. Do not try with 3d6 or you will get 666 and Satan will result.

d10: This shape is not physically possible, and works only with the placebo effect to make players think they have rolled it, thus you can make up any number and people will accept it.

d12: Anoint the die with Oil of Abramelin and seek guidance from the holy guardian angel of dice to guide them to roll the numbers you wish. Roll what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law, 12 is the law, 12 under Thac0.

d20: Bribe the dice with payments of gold, silver, electrum, or ivory. Photograph yourself doing so, then blackmail them if they refuse. This also works on most politicians in the d20.

d100: This is a ball. Why are you rolling a ball for D&D? That's absurd, balls are for sports people.

dℵ₀: Do not roll infinite dice, this will annoy the DM.

[rosietehriveter]

Romeo and Juliet

My sister is playing the nursemaid in an abridged version of the famous Shakespearean play. But the version of the play she's doing is based on the 1996 Leonardo DiCaprio movie. and she's planning on costuming the nursemaid as a 1970s hippie???? But also the ball scene where R&J make contact the song that will be playing is Low by Flo Rida

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Credit

profile picture from Picrew by @Banglerockets on Instagram

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You have developed a reputation for being an expert matchmaker. Whenever you’re around, people who meet each other end up falling in love. But what no one else sees is that Cupid has been trying to shoot you with an arrow for a long time now, and all you’ve been doing is dodging them.

[rosietehriveter]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞

Slashers x Reader

Inspired by this post

▸ format: headcanon, long post

▸ summary: “An extremely detailed description of different Slasher dicks.” Hex Color Codes, predictions of exact measurements, what sex would be like; basically, I went crazy with it.

▸ warnings: pure debauchery, very much my own opinion 

Keep reading

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he about to stab his dick or what???/

just sittin' there - menacing 🔪🔪

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Twitter becoming a funnier, more chaotic site than Tumblr was not on my 2022 bingo card but here we are.

It’s a hellscape over there

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My Fav Spider-Man Panels

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I NEED to go there.

The book town of Bredevoort, the Netherlands

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Waiter!Izuku

Bakugo: I’ll have the Chicken Parm.

Izuku: Okay, and that comes with either soup, a salad, or a hug.

Bakugo:

Izuku:

Bakugo: I’ll take salad.

Izuku, sniffling: That’s okay.

Bakugo: Why wouldn’t that be okay-

Izuku: And you, sir?

Todoroki: I-I want chicken Alfredo?

Izuku: And that also comes with soup, a salad, or a hug.

Todoroki: I’ll take salad-

Izuku: Actually, it’s two sides.

Todoroki:…Then I’ll take soup?

Izuku, tearing up: That’s okay too.

Todoroki: If you want me to pick the hug-

Izuku, crying: I can’t control your life, so whatever!

[rosietehriveter]

[rosietehriveter]

Can I watch a great film knowing the actresses in it were terrorized and mistreated the entire time? Can I watch a football game knowing that the players are getting brain injuries right before my eyes? Can I listen to my favorite albums anymore knowing that the singers were all beating their wives in between studio sessions? Can I eat at the new fancy taco place knowing when the building that used to be there got bulldozed eight families got kicked out of their homes so they could be replaced with condos and a chain restaurant? Can I wear the affordable clothes I bought downtown that were probably assembled in a sweatshop with child labor? Can I eat quinoa? Can I eat this burger? Can I drink this bottled water? Can I buy a car and drive to work because I’m sick of taking an hour each way on the subway? Whose bones do I stand on? Whose bones am I standing on right now? 

[rosietehriveter]

ive been collecting this specific brand of evil, satanic meme-adjacent images with no clear punchline since early 2019 in a folder on my laptop me and my close friends refer to as “the evil memes folder”. here are some of my favorites enjoy

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