romanxdrake

[romanxdrake]

@pxtitxrosx

BILL FARRAH and DARBY HART in A MURDER AT THE END OF THE WORLD (2023-) | S01 E06 "CRIME SEEN"

[romanxdrake]

He was quiet for a long beat, his empty hand still open from where Charlie had pulled away. "I wanted to put all the cards on the table." Could she fault him for being honest? Brutally, disgustingly honest? Roman had tried to steer her to this conclusion gently but he'd felt his warnings had failed to get the point across.

Roman stood by those words.

It wasn't her job to make sure all the pieces of himself stayed together and he sure as Hell didn't want her getting hurt from the sharp edges when he inevitably fell apart again. He closed his fist and let his hand drop down. "In case you felt there were better options out there."

Despite not wanting to push Charlie away he knew damn well that's what he was doing. He was a self-fulfilling prophecy. "I'm a bomb Charlie. I self destruct. I don't want you to get hurt in the blast." He'd already been struggling with sobriety since running out of pain meds several months ago. Who knew what would happen the day he slipped up.

The biggest deterrent to seeking out drugs was knowing it would likely end up in him owing Sada a favor. Well, that was deterrent number two now that June was here.

"I don't want to sound like god damn martyr. I'm not that selfless." He was well aware his problems were of his own creation. "I just worry that one day you're gonna realize what being with me really means and decide you regret it." Decide that she doesn't want to be second to his insecurity.

Another nail in the coffin. Feels like it was inevitable. I love you, I don't know if that's enough. I'm not a happy ending.

Looking at him had the words from that crumpled note she'd read a thousand times and then a thousand times more playing over and over again her head, though she did her best to push it away. Did her best to believe he wasn't there because he had to be, because he was too hurt to be anywhere else, because his daughter and his sister were here.

So she pretended she believed all of that, and instead just gingerly cleaned away what she could from his skin. The physical signs of his trauma and his pain.

"I know." He'd told her some before, and she'd gleaned a lot just from the bits and pieces he'd let slip over the years. Birdie was lucky, like she was, to have a brother like she did. Strong, and willing to take the hits for them.

"You might as well have." Her voice was thicker as his hand reached out to take her own, but despite the film that had slid over her eyes, she managed to hold herself together incredibly well. "You could have died out there." Heck, he looked like he very nearly did. "You could have never come back." This was where her voice broke for the first time, though she cleared it away with a small clearing of her throat and gentle extraction of her hand from his so she could reach into the pocket of her ever present pale yellow cardigan to pull the note from it's depths.

"You said you weren't my happy ending."

[romanxdrake]

The sudden tray in his lap prevented him from reaching forward and pulling her into him but maybe that was for the best. He needed to let her lead this conversation. He'd already taken away enough of her agency by leaving without facing her.

Despite his non existent appetite he couldn't deny the soup smelled godly. He had no childhood memories of being nursed back to health when sick. The first time Hannah had brought him a tupperware bowl of soup and fresh Challah bread when he was stuck at home with the flu he'd closed the door and cried when she left. He didn't know there was such kindness in this world.

Charlie was still offering him kindness.

Roman leaned his head back in the chair and allowed her to scrub at the blood with an occasional whimper in his throat. He looked at her with sincerity, studying her expression. "I don't think I would've been able to leave if I did." It was less of an apology than a confession.

A deep chuckle caught in his throat at her own unexpected confession. "Good thing you missed." That probably would've been the fuse that finally lit the Rose / Drake feud.

He didn't talk much about his family. A comment here and there, mostly alluding to the truth rather than out right stating it. There was so much ugly history better left unspoken.

"A lot of my scars are from my childhood, Charlie." He looked at her with pleading eyes in hopes she would understand how much he hated himself for leaving Birdie there. "I don't think... I don't think she had it as bad. She was smarter than me. Good at shutting up and doing what they wanted." But it wasn't something they talked about. "I couldn't leave her again."

He lifted a hand to wrap around her own and caress it tenderly. "But I wasn't leaving you either."

Every mottled bruise, every wince and ginger movement pulled at heart, and she shook her head at him as his gaze finally landed on her. He was barely even cleaned up... the shape of him. Sighing softly as she ever so gently set the tray in his lap and gave him a look both soft and stern as she motioned to the chicken noodle there. Easily digestible.

Disappearing for a moment she returned with a bowl of warm water and a rag, making her way over to slowly start wiping the grime and blood off of him.

"Big trouble." But there was no anger in her voice, heck it was hardly more than a whisper let alone raised. "I deserved more than a note." That was it, simply that, laid out there and set before him like an entree. "I'm not Dear Jane." Eyes dropping to catch his gaze as she lifted the cloth to brush across his hairline, she knew her own hurt, exhaustion, and increasingly obvious weight loss were enough of a mask to make it obvious. She was sure he knew already.

"I'm in trouble, too, though." Unable to help herself, the corner of her mouth twitched up just ever so slightly. "I tried to slap your sister."

[romanxdrake]

it had seemed the least sinister thing he could do to pass the time while waiting for her in the dark. he kept his gaze low as ruth bustled through the apartment, her sudden movements making him feel dizzy. or maybe that was the blood loss. "it's sad in here. you should get a fish or something." he knew better than to suggest an animal that required her to be home more than once every three days.

roman let her do her thing, trying to be a model patient as always. hands out of the way, groans of pain held back by a bitten tongue. "better than being dead." he quips and shakes off her warning of pain.

pain stopped scaring him when he was seven. when he pissed mom off so badly she'd backhanded him into a lye pit where they were dissolving a few bodies. despite the tattoos he'd gotten to cover the scars you could still trace a finger over them and feel the rough patches.

"buck 120." a classic. no better way to get stabbed. one asshole had a curved knife and had gotten uncomfortably close to shoving it into roman's stomach. he could picture his guts unraveling and spilling to the floor in a warm, bloody mess. "you eat?" probably not. ruth was arguably worse than roman at taking care of herself in that regard. uninterested in the process of being patched up roman continued in nonchalant conversation. "they put in another pizza place up the block." there was clear bewilderment in his tone. "i know this is new york but come on." cliche much.

he didn't want pizza. but gyros sounded delicious. he watched the concentration on ruth's face. "what about greek?"

the overhead lights were all quickly flipped on, her work bag dropped by the door as she moved quickly to her bathroom to pull out her caddy of supplies that she'd organized for an event such as this. it seemed as though the frequency demanded it. "yes!" she called, pulling out an extra roll of gauze and shoving towels under her arm. "she's quick!" and how roman's little sister knew the proper bank account information had never been dissected. as with all things involving money, she'd decided to just be grateful it was there.

she paused in the kitchen, finally look at him eye to eye for the first time. her gaze flickered up and down his body, trying to pinpoint where the wound was, before landing behind him at the drying rack. "you didn't have to do that." although— she probably wasn't going to get to it tonight even if he hadn't shown up. chaos was still her strong suit, even with the impromptu emergency room she had on a moments notice. she hmm'd, before continuing to her sofa, spreading out the towels, and dropping her kit.

she returned with just a pair of scissors, gingerly lifting the hem of his sweater. stuck to his skin and already heavy with blood. "this is going to have to go." she cut away without asking, looking for the source of the bleeding. "and that—" she looked up at him, brow creased with concern at the choice to put duct tape on the wound, "is going to hurt like hell when i have to take it off." whatever had happened might not have hit a vital organ, but it had still done plenty of damage. the sweater was a lost cause before she destroyed it herself. "is this a stab wound? what am i looking at?"

[romanxdrake]

There were many problems waiting for him to solve but Roman had chosen to follow Hannah's strict orders of bed rest instead. And if they were both honest, it wasn't out of respect for her wishes--it was an attempt to avoid his biggest problem: a 4'11 brunette that was going to tear him a new one.

He'd let her. He just.. at least wanted to let his headache settle first.

That was the decision he'd made before falling asleep last night, awkwardly propped up in an armchair because his ribs hurt too fucking bad to sleep in the bed. He wasn't sure what time it was when he awoke to the feeling of being watched, opening his non-swollen eye to see the very woman he'd been avoiding. Tucked into the grey hoodie and looking up at her, for once in Roman's life he felt very small.

His tongue suddenly felt numb in his mouth and he struggled to find something to say. He was afraid that there just wasn't enough words to fill the space that he'd left between them.

The corner of his lip twisted into a broken and tired smile. Quietly, he asked, "So how much trouble am I in?"

⋙ WHEN? march 24th, morning ⋙WHERE? Quarantine Suite 1 ⋙WHO? @romanxdrake

Breakfast rations were done for the morning, but Roman hadn't come down. Considering the shape he'd been when he'd come in, it was no wonder he was probably still up in his bed. Balancing a tray in her hands as she made her up to the nineth floor, and then on her knee with one hand as she opened the door, Charlie slowly made her way into the space, seeing him for the first time since he'd been brought in with the others. Thankfully alive. She'd already hounded Ruth about his condition, and thus made sure she stepped into his line of sight before bringing the tray over with a concerned little look but a small smile.

How was she supposed to tell him now? Maybe she'd wait until she knew for sure, until Ruth could confirm it? Between the uncertainty she'd been living in, and the shape he'd come in in, all her anger had been washed away, replaced instead with hurt and confusion. Two emotions much more easily pushed to the side for her concern for him. He looked so... small, somehow, like he'd retreated some into himself. But that came with pain. She'd seen it before after her brothers would get in particularly nasty fights.

[romanxdrake]

Roman had tied a string of bells to the doorknob. It felt fuckin' stupid and he'd hated having to do it. Even now as he sat in an uncomfortable armchair aimed at the door and watching the bells shake all he could think about was how much the shimmering pissed him off.

It took him a minute to cross the room and open the door, looking out at the surprise visitor with hesitation. What had he done now?

"You need something?" He wanted to hang his head and shy away from her, to hide his bruised face and swollen eye but doing so would make it impossible to read Mal's lips.

⋙ WHEN? march 24th, late evening ⋙WHERE? #805 ⋙WHO? @romanxdrake

Mal can't remember the last time she knocked on this door without being there to fix something. To have a... conversation with the man. Neither of them really were the conversing types, but it'd been gnawing at them. She lets out a sigh, raising her hand slowly. There's a pause before their knuckles hit the wood a few times.

"Mr. Drake, you in?" Mal asks with raised voice, so they can be heard through the wood of the door. It would be mildly awkward if he isn't even home.

[romanxdrake]

general information.

full name june ruth kaplan

nicknames junebug, bug, buggy

age 6 & 3/4s

date of birth nov. 23rd

place of birth los angeles, ca

zodiac sagittarius

gender cis female

pronouns she/her

nationality american

religion jewish

personality.

positive traits curious, kind, brave, independent

negative traits none!

likes halloween, fairytales, stuffies, animals, beetles, pumpkin pie, sprinkles

dislikes yelling, zombies, bed time, cottage cheese

hobbies baking, bug hunting, singing and dancing, princess tea parties

headcanons.

after the attack on hannah, the only chance at saving her and june was to deliver. june was born premature at 28 weeks and spent the first six months of her life in and out of the hospital.

june's grandparents informally took custody of her until she was three and roman and hannah were in better places physically and emotionally.

as result of her premature birth, june was born with bronchopulmonary dysplasia and undeveloped lungs. with treatment they were able to grow to a more average size but she has since developed asthma and is very susceptible to bronchitis and pneumonia.

june also developed patent ductus arteriosus, a small hole in her heart valve which may or may not resolve itself on her own as she grows.

lastly, her hearing has been a growing concern. june has been showing signs of potential hearing loss. this was the motivation for roman to take his own hearing loss more serious and start learning ASL and lip reading, slowly teaching june under the guise of her helping him practice.

june prays every night. for mommy and daddy and her grandparents and for lady because she's the best dog ever. she prays for her aunt and uncle and aunt birdie (who is the bestest aunt even if aunt kitty lived closer) and all the nice people she's met here at the wesley. she prays that they can stay in their new home together and finally be safe from the monsters.

[romanxdrake]

"lost my phone." he answered from the darkness of her apartment, back turned to her as he leaned over the sink and filled a glass. it had been a burner, meant for disposal after contacting his latest employer to inform them of a finished job. roman downed the water greedily and then filled a second glass.

he'd chosen to wait for her in the kitchen, not wanting to stain anything in her sparsely decorated apartment with the blood that was slowly but surely leaking from the stab wound in his abdomen. "bird settle the bill for last month?" because he was about to add another charge and wanted to make sure ruth was getting what had been promised in exchange for her services.

roman finished the glass and placed it into the now empty sink, having spent the time waiting for ruth by cleaning the overflowing dishes that had previously been there. he turned to her, black sweater wet with blood despite the duck-tape he'd covered the wound with in an attempt to stave off the blood loss. "i don't think it hit anything vital. i managed to drive here."

@romanxdrake / flashback: august, 2024

her clinical rotation had left her with little energy to spare. although she could normally press on and find her way to the diner for a late (very late) dinner, there was nowhere else open at this hour and no one to bother. so, she had resigned herself to just showering and going to bed— for once.

she pushed open the door to her apartment, shining the stark hallway light into her own place, illuminating the cluttered living room and the mugs she still had to wash. she was stopped only by the figure that caught the same glow.

"i didn't know you were in town." and suddenly, she was back awake. her shoulders straightened, her eyes scanning his figure for an answer to his appearance. "you didn't text."

[romanxdrake]

💬 + maddie

"What Maddie survived would've been hard enough before the world ended. I'm impressed at their survival skills and I hope she never has to rely on them like that again." The idea of a baby in the Wexley fucking terrified him even though it wasn't his kid. "I think she's gonna be a great parent."

@farew3lls

[romanxdrake]

💬 + dr. ruth

He'd probably helped put her through med school, as many times as Birdie had paid the good doctor to patch him up under the table. Maybe there'd been times he wasn't as careful as he should have been in order to give Ruth something to practice with. A stitch that popped on purpose, or a fractured rib that he refused to let heal. A patient she could poke and prod with minimal complaint. "She's gonna save a lot of lives." The days he was feeling guilty enough he would've let Ruth cut him open if he felt it would help someone else in the long run.

@ruthellry

[romanxdrake]

💬 + ria

"I like the positivity. She helps things feel closer to normal." He's not so sure about her chances of survival though. "June's probably going to think she's Taylor Swift with all the blonde and rhinestones."

@rhianwells

[romanxdrake]

💬the paw patrol

"We're a bluey household."

[romanxdrake]

@valeriixchen

@justaprick

@hannahxinterrupted

@henrisolivier

@romanxdrake

@wellsinvesting

Send Me 💬 + a Name and My Muse will Talk About That Person

This could be someone else’s muse, or the mun’s interpretation of an NPC or background character in my muses like. Heck, even a complete stranger my muse has to look up!

[romanxdrake]

Character Kink List

┈➤ [ bold ] - yes.

┈➤ [ italicized ] - maybe/sometimes.

┈➤ [ struckthrough ] - no.

│age gap│anal│aphrodisiacs / intoxication / non-consentual drugging│asphyxiation / breath play│begging│biting│blood play│body worship│blowjob / deepthroat│ titty-fuck│bondage│breeding│cheating│clothed sex│creampie│cunnilingus│defloration / virginity│degradation│dom / sub dynamics│double penetration│dub-con│edging│exhibitionism│face fucking│face-sitting│filming / photography│gagging│gangbang│hair pulling│spanking│lingerie│manipulation│masturbation│mirror sex│non-con│objectification│orgasm control│overstimulation│praise kink│power inbalance│prostitution│public sex│purity kink│religious themes│rough sex│sex toys / vibrators│size kink│somnophilia│squirting│stalking│teasing│temperature play│threesome│violence│voyeurism│weapon play│fem-dom│fisting│pegging│

[romanxdrake]

You Were Never Really Here (Lynne Ramsay, 2017).

[romanxdrake]

Do you have a hobby?

self destruction 

[romanxdrake]