romanxdrake

[romanxdrake]

Charlie was far too nice for her own safety. Despite the survival instinct she had sharpened over the years there were still moments Roman's heart leapt from his chest while watching her interact with the others. Trust given when it hadn't been earned, help offered when it could be taken advantage of. Maybe the one thing Roman hadn't considered was that his very watch over Charlie was what gave her the confidence to do these things ( knowing that her loyal protector was always there should the worst come to pass ). "They can be convincing." Is what he leaves it as.

He grins at her comment, unable to deny the evidence of time beginning to catch up to him. "It'll give me a chance." Roman's hand drifted to Charlie's face so he could stroke the outline of her mouth with the back of a finger. "Those laugh lines have pushed you even further out of my league." Evidence of a life lived well despite the horror they had both seen.

Roman's lips press against the top of her head before his chin rests against her. "Good thing you don't have a lot of other options."

"Henri?" Charlie steered clear of him in general, the memory of the conversation at the piano and in the diner, and other very much like them, enough to keep her at bay. He and Eloise could entertain each other, she'd long since decided that she needed no part in any of it. Especially with the apprehension that Roman had about the pair, his instincts were strong enough to confirm her own. "You don't got to worry about that. To be honest, that pair gives me the heebie jeebies."

Letting herself practically fall into his chest at even the slightest pull of his hands, Charlie smiled up at him, drinking in his face and every change over the years. The new lines, the new... "Is that a dash salt I see in that pepper?" Grin growing a hint more playful, she reached up to feather over one of the light strands to see if it was just a trick of the light. "Oh yeah, I just know this is going to be an amazing look for you."

[romanxdrake]

He'd been worried about her since this morning, aware of the headache Charlie had been trying to push through. She wasn't as good at hiding it as she thought she was and if it wasn't for his selfish desire to have them all together in the sunlight maybe he would've called her out on it. Pushed the picnic back, made her sit and rest.

But he hadn't done any of that so instead he was frowning at the faraway look in her eyes before he felt her going slack in his arms. Roman was quick to hold her, supporting her against his chest with little effort. "Charlie?" He didn't want to scare the kids but his voice was loud with concern. A hand comes up to caress her face, feels for breath coming from her nose. "It's just the heat baby," Roman assures Charlie and June both as he brings Charlie down with him to kneel on the blanket. June has stopped dancing and Adam is whining at the sudden shift in mood.

The children joined their little circle of dancing laughter, a moment so perfect that she drank it all in and let herself get high off it. Head swimming and sight growing fuzzy, Charlie did her best to push through. Denying the dizziness, denying the hint of a fever she'd woken with and which was now roaring to sudden life, denying that she felt anything less than as perfect as the moment.

Despite the smile she turned on Roman, gazing at him like something gifted special just for her from the gods themselves, she could feel the colour drained from her face as if all the blood inside her was leaking out through her feet. "I've never been so hap-"

The words didn't get a chance to finish, though, dying away on her lips as her eyes rolled back into her head, skin suddenly clammy, and body falling limp as she fainted into him.

[romanxdrake]

there had been nothing safe about ashton's feeling for jeremiah. roman didn't begin to understand the relationship between the two men, but he assumed it was complicated and painful. just look at the aftermath of it.

maybe after that experience ashton had decided he didn't have it in him to try again. to put that kind of vulnerability into the world and have it spat back into your face. maybe safe was all that was left. he nodded grimly to the suggestion, something disappointing in the reality that life could & did kick your ass to rock-bottom and watch you cling to the first bit of light that shone in the darkness. to cling to something good in fear of never finding something great ( a very simple and very painful metaphor hannah had used when describing their relationship ).

it feels stupid to have brought all of this up. there is no point to this topic switch, no solution to the problem he has presented ashton with about his best friend's happiness ( or lack thereof ). "i think she's where she wants to be for now."

"when that changes... we're right here." roman wasn't entirely sure what would be the tipping point but he believed sooner or later there would be one. either oscar would step out of line or ruth would simply realize she didn't want to keep pretending she was happy. whatever the case roman and ashton would be around.

"Oh you can lead the PTA all you want, I just teach," Ashton let out a genuine laugh at the thought, raising his hands, knowing his weaknesses similar to Roman's. "Just.. rest your eyes, okay? Don't let that become a bad habit. We don't got no way to shit out prescription glasses anymore." Ashton by now was good at flipping the switch on cursing or not cursing depending on the kids' proximity. Reading glasses are easy to procure, anything more was gonna be tough, without the resources, equipment nor an optometrist.

Roman's answer was.. interesting, unexpected actually. But not something Ash entirely disagreed with, eyebrows raised silently in reaction to the confession. The more Ashton thought about it, the more he could see it from that perspective. "..guess sometimes, safe is all we have left. Better than hurt, I guess," he answered slowly, firstly trying to see from the other perspective, he's seen Charlie hurting, he can still feel his own hurt like yesterday. Perhaps there was a friendly envy of Roman and Charlie, what they had coming out of it all stronger than most. Sure at first glance they weren't a pair Ashton would've expected, but they seemed happy, ..right? He almost needed to believe it so that he could be happy for them too.

"But you're right," Ash sighed reference to his initial statement, nothing wrong with settling, not exactly a lot fish left in the sea, Ashton probably gave up on that aspect in life already, except- it didn't matter. Roman's statement made him pause with a flicker of doubt and worry now, "do you think she's not happy?" In no way trying to challenge, but rather, an inquisitive concern seeping into his voice, knowing between both men, Ruth's happiness was what triumphed over everything else in this subject matter.

[romanxdrake]

JAKE GYLLENHAAL as Rusty Sabich in Presumed Innocent (2024)

[romanxdrake]

@pxtitxrosx

““Because you don’t think I’m a bad person,” he said. “And I don’t want to prove you wrong.””

— Schwab, V. E. (2014-01-10). Vicious (Kindle Locations 2837-2838). Titan Books. Kindle Edition.  (via ngpeltier)

[romanxdrake]

They kept strange company these days. Then again, he wasn't sure anyone normal could've made it this long. Even Charlie and Roman had their hang-ups ( his a little more obvious, the grimdark attitude that had kept him away from her so long / hers that need to be present at your side despite the danger it would hold ). Aspen might be a trouble maker but the problems she created were usually childish and easily fixed by anyone with a little maturity. She was annoying but Roman didn't worry about her like he did about certain others in the group.

He looks up to her with a request. "Steer clear of Henri tomorrow." It was a warning the old Roman would've kept to himself, but now he knew better than to hide these things from her. "I don't trust that he won't try something to ruin this for Eric." He wasn't sure what that might entail but Roman wanted Charlie to at least be aware. Henri and Eloise may have been behaving on paper but Roman knew they were always up to something in the background.

He's stepped into her space at this point and his hands come to rest on either side of her waist. "Not as much as you like it when I dress down." Roman teased as he gently pulled her closer to him.

"I love that a lot. That it's still out there. I mean we can see some of it from the roof of The Wexley." The bridges the statue, the skyline itself. It was all a part of their history and all right there from the safety of their home. Was steadfast against the kids leaving the walls of the township, though he'd thankfully had yet to approach that matter with her.

"Oh my goodness, those poor things. I mean, from what Aspen says they're doing pretty good out there, considering. In her words, and I quote 'It's like the lost boys in Hook, right down to the half pipe'. Which, admittedly, is pretty evocative imagery. I'm half amazed that she hasn't been convinced to go out there with them." Laughter was so easy with him, every type of laughter, but especially that soft, intimate type that came along with comfortable closeness.

"Good. I'll be busy right off the hop, but that just means I'll get to be surprised right along with everyone else. And you know how much I like it when you dress up." No one cleaned up as well as Roman, in her opinion.

[romanxdrake]

this user has partial hearing loss

[romanxdrake]

it wasn't hard to see why a mother--any mother--would feel a maternal pull to the rose children ( charlie, in particular, a young girl raised by two brothers barely older than her ). he wants to see amelia's involvement in their life as a positive but they're not getting off on a great foot. if he had to guess where this defensiveness had come from it would be the pride he has for his family.

he made mistakes. but he was a better man. what more did he need to do?

"you think you know," roman corrected her, trying not to make this into a thing and failing. for whatever charlie had known about him in the days before the outbreak there had still been many missing pieces that he'd only filled in as they'd grown closer. "look i'm glad you're here. i think it will be good for a lot of people to have you back in their lives." there was an obvious but coming. "i'm done defending my case to people who think they need to watch for me to slip-up."

the only people roman needed to prove his loyalty to was the family he went home to at night. maybe it was her mention of jeremiah that had gotten him tense. the eldest rose had held more hate in his heart for roman than jp ever could and a part of him had known he'd never meet whatever expectations jeremiah had for his little sister.

"i love her very much. she's the air in my lungs and her trucker snoring is my favorite sound." roman's words were fast but sincere. "do you think i would be playing house with just anybody?" obviously not since his marriage with hannah had crumbled pathetically.

"No, you get special treatment because I basically adopted Charlie and JP the day I met them. In fact, I think I know more about you than you realize." Though there was an air of awkward interrogation, there as also a hint of amusement to it, playfulness that snaked through it, because seeing the pair together in such domestic bliss was a light in all this. "Also, don't think that seeing Ashton as a father-figure wasn't just as shocking as finding out that Charlie married her Prince Charming and they had a little Prince of their own. He'll get his own talk, believe me."

His question brought very real laughter from her lips as she set down the construction paper banner she'd been trying to hang in the hallway, shaking her head. "To be honest..." Resting her hands on top of them, eyes getting a little thoughtful as she turned introspective. "There was a time I was sure he was going to settle down with Ruth. But once he fell so hard for Jeremiah... I think I gave up that hope. Funny how things end up." Seemed all her predictions had been wrong.

Looking over at him, refusing to let the subject be changed, Amelia shook her head and let her composure soften, dropping the interrogator act. "She's loved you a long long time, you know that, don't you?"

[romanxdrake]

Maybe the biggest change Roman noted since the township had properly formed was the distribution of responsibility among the survivors. There wasn't a place for self-sufficiency within these walls. They were more unified now than they'd ever been living in the Wexley proper.

It felt like these moments of relaxation were few and far between though the reality was probably less severe. His problem was that even when he was done dealing with scouting, supplies, squabbles his brain struggled to leave those worries at the door.

At least today was easier. His eyes warm with appreciation as he twirled Charlie and drunk in her laughter. Even Roman wasn't immune to the charming beat of Take A Chance on Me and he was shimmying along. Despite June's eyes rolling in feigned embarrassment there was a smile on her face as watched Adam stomp around the grass.

'Kind of cringey' June agreed quietly as she wiggled with Adam.

"You guys are really going to ruin my street cred if Ash and Jp hear you talking like that." As if they didn't already know how much Charlie and the kids had tamed him.

Who: @romanxdrake Where: Central Park - The Pond When: May 3rd

"See... This is how we do it." Charlie had spent the better part of day following the wedding planning the perfect little picnic in the park for them and the kids. She'd even used the very last of her dry yeast to make them a small loaf of bread for sandwiches. It had been somewhat of a struggle, considering she didn't feel a hundred percent, but knowing that Roman would be heading out on a run soon and that would mean a quarantine away from the family, it was worth it.

With music playing from the speakers of the little CD player that they'd received as a wedding gift from Ember, Charlie happily let herself be twirled around by Roman much to the joy of both June and her brother. "Come on, bring your brother and join in!" As the music switched to one of the faster songs in Abba's repertoire Charlie waved June over. "Unless mom and dad are too cringey for you." The dizziness just a symptom of Roman's heart stopping dip and stomach fluttering kiss.

[romanxdrake]

"quicks not always better." he reminds her coolly. they'd lost many people over the years and it pained roman to be the on pointing out how many had been preventable. there would always be a blame to place, a mistake that could be solved. every death had to be a lesson in how to do better. he wasn't sure he could handle that weight without making something come from the loss. "we can't lose you." his tone shifts to something heavier in an unconscious attempt to deliver his message impersonally. his statement is about her worth to the community as a whole.

"you know why oscar let you come out here with me?" it seemed pretty obvious to roman. "it's because he knows i'm not dumb enough to let you die."

remove the details. the wife, the kids. ignore the fact that he is a man with reasons to keep living that should far outweigh the life of another woman. forget the repressed feelings between them or the singular kiss shared half-dressed in the w's bathroom. oscar knows none of that would stop roman from laying down his life for ruth because none of it was sustainable without her. how long would any of it last without a doctor? especially one they trusted? one that believed in this place?

roman offers her a container from the bottom of the pile. there was black sharpie written across the lid. slaw ♥.

"when june learned it was basically just cabbage she started calling me popeye the sailor." a nickname that had stuck so far.

her laughter is pulled free from her chest, an involuntary breath that sits in the air. she'd never considered her fondness for teasing to be judgement, then again this is a new side to roman that she's still learning to live around. how often had she washed his blood off her hands, to turn around and see him now with a wife and children, a new last name. and she, was still she. the doctor, the outlier. certainly not one of the roses, never so lucky.

"it's my old hospital." she answers, trying to evade the phrasing of the question. everyone was cautious about the runs, a nerve-inducing barrage of questions. she didn't have weapons training, she refused a gun when in the township, how could they risk her knowledge. to her the answer had been clear, it had never changed: "who could get to the supplies quicker?"

she expects some push-back, an easy slip back into their ribbing, but she's protective of the life she's trying to build for herself. does she, among all of them, not deserve to have a person to call her own. arms to run to after a long day. "he's not unreasonable." she was here after all, even if it was after plenty of promises to stay safe, to be alert. "unlike your request of..."

[romanxdrake]

End.

their lips are still together and he's made it a point to fill the silence in his head with an Our Father because it is something familiar to cling to in this brief moment of freefall. he only ever learned a few prayers and most of them were about pain, anger, regret. Cleanse our hearts, O Lord, and grant us the grace to release burdens we carry. he tries to memorize the look in her eyes when she pulls away from him. but it would probably better for both of them if he didn't.

"okay." there are too many maybes and what ifs that he would drown under the weight of them if he dared reach for one. so instead he thinks of the child he's going to have with charlie and it gives him the resolve needed to keep his hands to himself. to let whatever this was die on the bathroom floor before either of them had time to grow attached to the idea of a life together.

he takes a step back from her, moving towards the door. there are compromises and assurances dancing on his tongue but he keeps them down because even telling her that he's here for her feels like walking a fine line. he settles on something safer. "i'll see you in the morning."

[romanxdrake]

Barbarian (2022) dir. Zach Cregger

[romanxdrake]

@pxtitxrosx

the intimacy of sleeping together, but not in a sexual way. the intimacy of feeling the warmth of their body in a cool room. their hands hugging you tightly. the intimacy of synchronized breathing. sleepy half-kisses. feeling safe. feeling warm. waking up and realizing how much you love them. how precious this is. finding the happiness on the tip of your fingers, brushing their hair. closing your eyes again. pulling closer. falling asleep.

[romanxdrake]

@pxtitxrosx

The Breaking Ice 燃冬 (2023) dir. Anthony Chen

[romanxdrake]

maybe he shouldn't have been surprised to see amelia address him with such familiarity but it was still disconcerting coming from a woman he'd never met before. he tries to look friendly but there's an air of defensiveness around him as he waits for her to get to the point.

"did zach sanders get this talk too or am i getting special treatment because i'm pretty?" roman was not the only one parenting in the apocalypse and he would be quick to point that out. "not to mention your own son, who's as close to a father as any of us at this point." and he'd been doing a pretty damn good job by all accounts. roman may not have understood the relationship between jeremiah and ashton and linds but when the role of maisie's caretaker had been passed down to ashton he'd accepted it without question.

he leans against the cool concrete brick wall of the school's hallway and crosses his arms. "did you ever think you'd be a grandma?" ash had never struck roman as the settling down type.

then again, had he ever seen himself doing the same?

Who: @romanxdrake When: May 4th Where: The school building

"I was wondering when I'd be seeing you here Mr... Rose, is it? That's quite the interesting turn of events." One she hadn't seen coming and had come as quite the surprise upon being filled in by Charlie. "Pity we're finally getting to meet and it has to be under these circumstances. I'd heard so much about you."

Though she trusted Charlie, and the happiness the young woman obviously exuded at her new life with this man, Amelia had always been wary. There was a lot of power that came with the sort of school girl crush that Charlotte had harboured for this man for some time.

"And father of two at the start of this new world. Brave man." At least it seemed like he was stepping up to the plate. Still, it may do him some good to get a motherly interrogation. Surely, he'd already gotten the more intimidating one from her brothers some time ago.

Truly it was just a formality. A maybe slightly entertaining one.

[romanxdrake]

roman could see how close jp had been to loosing his temper and for a moment his jaw had tightened in anticipation of a right hook. he decided a while ago that the rose brothers were each entitled to one good punch. he was impressed that neither had taken advantage of that opportunity yet. it was better for charlie not to see them all fighting. roman saw charlie as a capable young woman who, although a little naive about the world, was able to stand on her own when she had to. but all jer and jp could see was a little sister who was their responsibility to keep safe and happy; and to take out anyone who threated either of those things.

maybe there was a little part of him that wanted to keep pushing back but if there was one thing a catholic boy was good at it was repression. so he nodded to jp's words, keeping them both on the high road. "i count on it."

if there came a time roman did something to hurt charlie again jp's anger would be the least of what he deserved. roman couldn't play those kind of games with her heart. he never should have handled the past the way he had but all he could do was walk the straight path in the future.

his next words are an attempt at a lifeline. roman is not only waiving a white flag in surrender he is attempting to befriend the enemy. "you wanna help paint the nursery?"

it was more work than charlie needed to take on right now and if she really wanted to start nesting she could look through the baby clothes others had starting gathering for her.

He had to bite back the spike in anger when Roman admitted to facing his mistakes - the term mistakenly attributed to Charlie and their situation. John-Paul felt like a mistake his entire life and, aside from very few, was treated as such. By his mother especially. It was the worst pain he'd ever felt and he could hardly stomach hearing the same about Charlie. Particularly from the man who she loved. It made his blood fucking boil.

But, given all of the recent developments in his life, John-Paul made a concerted effort to contain his ire, choosing not to haul off and knock him out where he sat. Charlie was a few feet away and his anger had already caused a rift among the Rose family. He'd never be able to come back from assaulting the father of her unborn child, in a relationship or not she would hate him for it. So he grit his teeth, gripped his own fist, and took a centering breath, allowing Roman to finish his speech.

And what he heard next actually kind of shocked him. Roman Drake was owning up to his shortcomings. What a fucking plot twist! JP never would have imagined the two men having a civil conversation over the subject matter at hand, let alone having it be such an open one. "That's....good. I'm glad you're trying to, you know, work on things (that makes two of us) and I won't get in the way of that. Charlie deserves for you to fix your mistakes," he started in agreeance. "I'll give you a pass for now, but if you ever do this again," he went on with a small circle indicating everything surrounding their needed meeting - his leaving included most. "I will not hesitate to fuck you up."

[romanxdrake]

(c)