romanxdrake

[romanxdrake]

[romanxdrake]

He is utterly lost in their intentions, narrowing his good eye with suspicion when Mal reaches out to touch him. It's not gentle. But there's no hint of malice in her eyes so despite the building tension he forces his body to remain and moments later she's wrapped toned arms around him in a sudden gesture of... gratitude?

Roman feels dumbstruck but manages to lift his non tender hand and squeeze Mal's forearm in silent acceptance of their offering. He likes to think if his brain wasn't dulled by the pain of a concussion and if his body was running on more than fumes it wouldn't have taken him quite as long to realize what this was about. --But he knows that he'd be just as lost.

It's not until he picks Birdie's name from Mal's words that he understands.

At first he's annoyed with their words. As if he'd needed motivation to go after Birdie other than the fact that she was his sister. Maybe he doesn't hide this initial irritation in his expression but after a moment it's gone, replaced by a slight nod.

How could he except Mal to know his bond with Birdie? It wasn't something they talked about--even between themselves. Speaking their past aloud wasn't something Birdie had ever been interested in.

He gaze slips behind Mal and he looks either way down the empty hall before stepping back to beckon her inside, closing the door behind them. Roman throws himself back in the chair he'd been sitting in and looks almost like a petulant child.

"My hearings gone. It's not coming back." Explaining why he'd taken to hiding in this room and avoiding just about everyone he could right now. "And.. if we had the tech to do a MRI it probably wouldn't look good."

Mal loved two of the most important people in Roman's life. He was hoping she'd understand why he'd confessed this to her and not them.

She hates this weird sick feeling in her stomach, the ball of nerves that keeps rolling over and over and over in the centre of her being. Mal's teeth worry their bottom look as they take in Roman's face, the clear injuries painting a picture of the shit he must've gone through. "No," they say, their voice surprisingly firm, and, looking his face over once more, lifts their hand gently to tip his chin up a bit more. They feel their head shake slightly. "Fucking fool."

And with that, Mal steps close into his personal space and wraps both arms around him, face buried in his neck in a show of out of character affection to anyone not within their close inner circle, of which Roman hadn't belonged over the years. Despite his association with those who were. And perhaps... now, because of that.

When she steps back again, even more awkward than before she'd stepped in, Mal rubs the back of her neck. Everything in her body, in her mind, is fighting against the show of vulnerability, the expression of affection, but a small part of her is ruthlessly kicking the rest of her to spit out everything, embarrassment be damned.

"Thank you for bringing Birdie back to me. I won't forget it. I owe you more than I can ever repay you." Despite her words, Mal can't look Roman in the eye, and when words aren't spilling out of her mouth at breakneck speed, her teeth are chewing on her bottom lip again. And then almost like an iron gate falling into place, all nervousness disappears from their body language and their eyes meet, a determination in their eyes that's much more recognisable for them. "If there's anything you need, I want to know."

[romanxdrake]

He felt his jaw tighten in anticipation of what he had to say. The few blissful moments of hope they'd been given weren't enough to satisfy him and he worried that whatever the pregnancy test told them he'd struggle to find this feeling again. Either the test was negative and they would quietly mourn the loss of possibility or it would be positive and they'd be faced with the reality of what that meant in their new world.

Roman opened his mouth with the intention of asking if she was ready to take the test but instead another question blurted out from him, "What would we name it?" He knew Charlie would have some picked. Probably chosen long before the possibility of being pregnant ever crossed her mind. He knew she'd always wanted a family of her own.

He quietly added, "Not Drake... I wouldn't do that to June and I wouldn't do that to this one either." "But Rose would be nice."

The more he spoke this way the more he realized how badly he wanted it. He could look past his fear and hesitation and see how beautiful having a family with Charlie could be.

"And I think we're gonna have some very awkward family get togethers." Between him, Charlie, Birdie, Jerimiah, and Jp there was plenty of tension in the Rose-Drake dynamic. "But God if this kid wouldn't be well looked after."

Birdie was already a better aunt to June than he could have ever anticipated, and Roman knew that if Charlie was able to get to her older brothers' soft spots then any child of hers would have no trouble doing the same.

Forever would she be thankful he was alright, that he was alive, but the weight of what it would mean for him to lose his hearing altogether wasn't lost on her. And her heart broke for him all over again.

Swallowing hard at the twist in her chest at his calling her 'Baby', Charlie ignored it for now, instead letting her hand be held, and letting herself enjoy the anchor to him after so long without it.

Smiling more to herself than to him, she knew he knew her better than most, read her cues like almost no one she'd ever known before except maybe Mal and JP, she should have known he'd see her wilting.

"I got a few hours last night at the diner." Not enough, not by far, but every time she started to fall asleep that sound of the slab coming down in the department store played in her ears, jerking her awake. Sometimes it was Skyler underneath it, of course. Sometimes it was one of her brothers, sometimes it was Ashton, or Mal, or Rosie. Most of the time it had been Roman, and herself holding a baby.

"I don't know if I can sleep until I know... for sure. But after that, I'll nap for a month." And maybe she'd crawl in with Roman and they could get a few hours together. Even if she couldn't forgive yet, even if she couldn't trust again, she needed him close so her mind and her body could believe he was there, and she could maybe, finally, sleep. No more questions or fear to keep her awake.

[romanxdrake]

Roman saw the expression in her eyes and met her with the kiss she was asking for. It was sweet and tender and as always over far too soon despite his aching chest and short breath.

He rested his forehead against hers with closed eyes as he contemplated an answer to her question. "Most of it will heal with time." But Ruth was worried about his head and she'd gone over a long list of possible symptoms to look forward to. Roman was also to be especially careful to avoid reinjuring his head with another concussion. He didn't remember most of what Ruth said but dying brain cells was enough to convince him to listen for once. He wasn't leaving the Wexley for the next few months.

Roman opened his eyes and pulled back so he could see her face again. "Hearings not so good. She's not sure when it'll come back." That was a lie.

Ruth wasn't sure if it would come back.

But Charlie wasn't the only one who needed assurances. Roman took one of her hands and held it softly in his. "Baby when was the last time you slept?" Or ate? Or took a moment to breathe?

The touch of his hands on her skin nearly had her falling apart altogether. She knew she'd missed him, but that moment made it all too agonizingly clear just how much she had. The sob it brought forth was unretractable and unexpected, stifled into the fabric of his shirt. He was truly there, safe, and sound, and alive, and her brain couldn't deny it or lie about it anymore. And oh did she cling to him harder. Her trust in him maybe have been broken, but her love for him couldn't be.

Head lifting from his chest to pillow her chin there instead, leaving her eyes able to stare up at him, drinking him in like a woman parched. Though she'd already memorized his face a thousand times over across the long winter months, each new mark and scar and bruise was added to that memorization.

He was right, they had a community.

Eyes first dropping to his lips as he leaned in so familiarly, lifted to meet his own eyes as he spoke, warmth rippling out from her chest at the expression he wore and the softness of his tone.

He sounded... happy.

Letting off a tiny little sob-laugh, she nodded her head and pulled enough away from his chest that she could meet his lips with her own. She didn't know what they were anymore, wasn't sure if she could truly let herself be with him yet, but she needed that kiss, and she let herself fall into it as it lingered.

Pulling back as her lungs ached for air, Charlie finally, truly drank in his injuries.

"Promise me, you're okay."

[romanxdrake]

He snorted at her assessment of his condition. "Not on the outside, at least." Roman stayed still as she inspected his head and let out a sharp inhale when her fingers brushed the apparent bump. Ruth will probably be pissed but it's not like she actually expected him to follow her orders of bed rest. He never did.

"I think I've had enough finger wagging from short women this week. Help me get upstairs and I'll be fine." He did his best to sound convincing.

"I could probably use your opinion on something anyway." Roman craned his neck around to double check that none of Charlie's many listening ears were around. It was like she was best friends with half the building. "Been working on that crummy little apartment and trying to make it feel.. homey. For Charlie."

For the off chance she ever decided she wanted to live with him again.

Unable to help herself, Ember gave a little giggle at his quips, shaking her head as she brushed a bit of the hair off his head to get a better look. "At least you're not bleeding or anything." Leaving her arm around his just in case he got a little woozy or off balance, she made sure her touch was feather light as she felt for... "But you definitely have a nasty bump."

Despite never having really met Roman, she'd heard all about him, and she though he was pretty heroic for what he'd done and all the people he'd managed to help get back. Including his family. It was more than her own father had done for her family, at least.

"Why don't you let me get the lights and I can help you upstairs. We should probably get that looked at maybe."

[romanxdrake]

DARE Don't abandon Charlie EVER AGAIN

"I'm not going anywhere unless it's a mutual decision." That was the answer someone who wasn't throwing themself a fucking pity party would give, right? In reality he wasn't sure he was ever getting back in her good graces.

@pxtitxrosx

[romanxdrake]

👥

@romanxdrake

he has a custom ringtone in her phone: the house m.d. theme song. no matter how many times she's worked with him, she knows she's still going to have to puzzle together a diagnosis and a cure when she hears that song.

she's invited him to go to a show a few times, but he's never been in town for it. every time she sends the message she feels silly, somehow as though she's a schoolgirl. of course, the timing just so happened to work out that a few days later he would show up at her apartment with a new injury— just so she could tell him about everything he missed by turning her offer down.

the first time he mentioned june, she'd been so caught off guard she went on a whole tangent about how she'd been june's age when she knew she wanted to be a doctor. it wasn't until after she was done that she'd realized she'd been scrubbing her hands nearly raw in the sink. she laughed at herself and asked if she could see a picture.

there was a set of clothing and pajamas that were in the lowest drawer of her dresser that she kept for roman in case he needed a new shirt or to stay the night. she's curious who found it when they were moving tobias into her apartment, and what that person thought.

[romanxdrake]

👥

@romanxdrake

her favorite sibling by a mile, and she has no problem saying it. she's often convinced he was the only one of them born with a moral compass— and she takes most of her empathy cues from him. the people he likes, she tries to like. and the people he dislikes, all the same. for her, most people are riddles and puzzles, he brings back the humanity to it all.

one of her early memories was when she'd been roughhousing with tobias. despite their marked age difference she'd thought they were having fun. and then he slammed her hand a door jam, nearly breaking her fingers. she'd howled in pain and roman was the one who'd run into the room, punching their older brother right in the jaw. rage spilling over while she cried and held her swelling hand. it's how she learned to meet violence with violence— or at least to learn a different tactic against her siblings.

she mails gifts to people in roman's name all the time. it makes shopping for june so much easier when she can just buy everything she wants and pretend it's from two different people. hannah, mal, ruth, nikhil, and charlie are some of the people who have also benefited from this joint generosity.

obviously because her two main streams of income were extremely illegial, she kept them under lock and key. most people could enter her apartment and not even guess what she did for a living. but once roman started visiting her in new york, she stopped hiding everything from him. he's one of the few people who have actually seen her office and watched her work.

[romanxdrake]

"That's funny. Because it really felt like it hurt, too." He quipped from the floor as his body reminded him of every recent ache and pain he was supposed to be recovering from. Roman allowed her to help as he awkwardly rose from the floor and moved to the near bench. Shoulders shrugged at her concern over potentially hitting his head. "What's one more traumatic brain injury? I think after three it stops mattering."

"That really looked like it hurt..." Reaching down to pick up the lights so she could get them out of the way of others, Ember put them in a little pile on the bench next to them and then moved to help him stand. "Are you sure you're okay? Come... oh my goodness, come here and sit down." Doing her best to guide him to the same bench she'd set the pile of lights on, she made sure to keep a steadying hand close. "You didn't hit your head did you?"

[romanxdrake]

He huddled over her small body as it clung to him, his uninjured hand rubbing small circles over her back in comfort. It was nice to feel her warmth again but this small taste of intimacy only made him ache for more. Roman wanted to hold her to him and ignore the rest of the world. Maybe just this once it would keep spinning without him.

Roman's hand slowly rose from the fabric of her shirt to the skin of her neck where it thumbed softly against her skin. He brows furrowed at her distress before a tender expression smooth it away. The fear he felt had to be a fraction of what she was experiencing.

"I know, baby."

His hand left the back of her neck to caress her cheek in a familiar offering of comfort. She kneeled on the floor in front of him like she was sending a prayer and Roman knew if he wanted to be with her simply wishing to be the man she thought he was would not be good enough. He had to stop letting his past haunt the present. It had been one thing when his ghosts only existed to torment him but his refusal to accept redemption had begun to have collateral damage.

"We've got Ruth back, and Ash and Val." All of them had proven trustworthy and competent. "Hannah and Maddie are here to give you whatever advice or support you need." They were a community. They looked out for each other. Despite Roman's discomfort with the idea of relying on others like this a majority of the Wexley's residents had proven they wanted nothing but the greater good.

He leaned down as far as his aching body would let him, his face closer to Charlie's but still not nearly enough. "Either we have a baby together or we don't. But no matter what we're gonna get through it." He felt the hint of a smile forming on his face at saying it out loud. "We might have made a baby Charlie."

Watching the news hit him and then sink in was just as hard as speaking the words out loud to him. This world was not the time, nor the place, for a baby. She knew that. But in her heart, there was a place that was secretly so happy, that wanted that baby so badly. A place that had craved motherhood so long, to be the mother hers had never been. A place that had longed to build a family with Roman some day, when that had been less dangerous. A place that she had to do her best to deny because the apocalypse meant a baby was silly, and stupid, and dangerous. Undeniably so.

Heart hammering in her chest with so much force that it felt like the very air in her lungs was being beaten out of them, she waited as he processed, as he breathed through the news.

We'll figure it out.

If that wasn't the best case scenario reaction, she wasn't sure what would be. "Okay." Whispering the word back with a trembling nod to her head, his support letting the tension drain away on the back of a small sob she stifled and hid behind a hand.

Finally reaching down to pick up the tray and set it to the side, rather than lowering down into his lap which may hurt him, she instead lowered down onto her knees between his own and hugged herself to his chest, head above the comforting sound of his heartbeat. Just for a moment, before pulling back only enough to look up at his face.

"I have some... I just... I was too nervous to take them... without-.... without you here-... when I thought you might be-"

The sentences wouldn't finish, breaking and snapping off at the end before she'd let herself admit that she'd thought he could have been dead out there. But even now, with him there, looking at her like that...

"I'm so scared."

[romanxdrake]

👥 + Roman

The first time Charlie ever saw Roman was four years ago when he'd come into the diner for some coffee. Despite being freshly stitched up and looking rough around the edges, she'd found herself instantly smitten to the point of accidentally dumping the first cup of coffee she ever served him all over him.

The first time Charlie ever wore any sort of make up was after meeting Roman. She'd ask Rosie to teach her how to put on mascara, and occasionally a lip gloss. She never really wore blush, but the moment she'd see him walk into the diner she'd rush to the back to pinch her cheeks a little to give them some colour.

The first time the pair had actually sat down together to have coffee, they'd ended up talking late into the night. It was then that Charlie knew she was truly in love with him, despite being sure he'd never see her the same way.

The first gift that Charlie ever gave Roman was an ugly Christmas sweater she knitted for him with Frosty the snowman on the front. She never expected him to wear it to the building's Christmas party when she told him he was free to attend, but he did. That was the party where they shared their first kiss, under the mistletoe. It'd be two years and an apocalypse later before they'd share another.

@romanxdrake

[romanxdrake]

@romanxdrake @valeriixchen @hannahxinterrupted @henrisolivier @wellsinvesting @lovxrslane

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[romanxdrake]

JAKE GYLLENHAAL as Rusty Sabich in Presumed Innocent 1.02

[romanxdrake]

Roman wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to defend his actions, he didn't want to argue that either of them were right or wrong. Listening to her voice break nearly dissolved what resolve he had left. Why did he have to ruin this for them?

He wanted to move this fucking tray that was trapping him to the armchair but didn't think he could do it without knocking everything to the floor, and that was hardly going to help the situation.

Dizziness rushed to his head at her admission and he had to grip the arms of the chair to stop the room from spinning. "Okay..." He whispered softly, repeating it as he processed what she was telling him. "Okay."

"We'll figure it out." It sounded less than reassuring and Roman chastised himself for his piss poor response to the news. He was able to rouse himself from the shock and looked at her with sincerity, reaching again for her hand and hoping she would let him hold it. "I know you just told me how little my word means right now. I know nothing I say is going to fix this."

"I just---I'll be here. I'll prove it." He forced the panic and implications of having a baby out of his head and focused instead of Charlie and their relationship. That was all he could do right now. "Did you... should we find a pregnancy test?"

"You can't say you didn't leave me... and then say that. There would be no better options if you were still with me."

The way it felt like they were breaking up all over again had her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach, hands starting to tremble a little as she slid the lowered the note to the table beside his chair. She couldn't hold onto it anymore, like it was searing her skin.

"I know. I always knew." No one knew a boiling kettle of a man on sight like Charlie did. She'd been raised by one. His sharp edges and his quiet rage was just like Jeremiah's and it protected that same soft center that she was sure both men had forgotten existed. She hadn't, though. In fact, it was almost all she saw when she looked at them both. Maybe that's why Roman had always appealed to her so much.

Hard men needed softness, too.

"I'm not made of porcelain, Roman. I deserve more credit than that." The words came as a soft, barely more than a whisper, eyes on his face as she stood back with arms crossed to hide how her hands shook with the trembles that seemed to radiate from her heart and ripple through her entire torso. "Even if i did. Shouldn't that be my decision? Shouldn't I get a say? Because what you did was choose for me, and ended up shattering me more than-"

Voice once more breaking, she had to turn away a little to blink back tears she refused to let fall, though they remained pooled in her eyes when she turned back to him. There was no holding it back any longer, not if he was truly going to understand the state he'd left her in. She hadn't been eating or sleeping, and she spent most of her time feeling vaguely nauseous but ignoring it... all because he hadn't been there and she had thought...

"I might be pregnant."

[romanxdrake]

Roman had started an impromptu home improvement project. It was nice to have something to do with his hands and it was a welcome distraction from the mess he'd made of his life recently. He'd found an unused string of fairy lights in the W's storage closet, tangled in Christmas wreaths and big red bows. Roman was heading for the stairs when his foot got caught in the string of lights and he quickly got reacquainted with gravity.

He groaned as Ember appeared at his side. "Just give me a minute." Roman rasped out in pain.

Where: The Atrium When: March 26th

"Oh- oh my god, are you okay?!" Rushing over with the click clacking of her designer heels filling the space as she stepped off the red runner that ran the length of the space and onto the tile to help the person who had slipped and fell. "Let me help you up. That was a nasty fall..."

[romanxdrake]

@lindsohalloran lind's apartment

he was working extraordinarily hard to not be a helicopter parent. roman and hannah had several long conversations when they'd been in quarantine, attempting to formulize a plan to navigate shared parenting in the apocalypse. they'd agreed on a few ground rules which gave them both peace of mind; the biggest of which that june was never to be without a trusted adult. roman, hannah, birdie, and ashton were the only ones on that list so far.

now that the swelling and bruising had begun to go down roman had taken up watching june the majority of the time so hannah could focus on 'stopping my last string of sanity from slipping through my fucking fingers' as she'd put it.

june had wanted to check on maisie and her uncle and roman saw no reason against it. she'd made a card with broken crayons and stickers and had asked roman to help her write a message inside of it. she skipped ahead of him in the halls as they approached the o'halloran's apartment. she looked at him expectantly and roman nodded in return, giving her permission to knock on the door.

"remember june, he might be a little grumpy. i don't know if ruth found any medicine to help with his pain."

she looked at him with a momentary frown before nodding. 'like how i was grumpy after i hit my head.

[romanxdrake]

@pxtitxrosx

BILL FARRAH and DARBY HART in A MURDER AT THE END OF THE WORLD (2023-) | S01 E06 "CRIME SEEN"