rock-the-cassbah

[rock-the-cassbah]

Holy fuck I'm so scared man.

I don't wanna lose my access to hrt.

I don't wanna have to leave the country, and I literally can't afford to anyway.

I just started living my life.

Fuck.

[rock-the-cassbah]

I get to see them in eight days!!

I get to watch a movie with them.

I get to make eye contact with them, and hear their voice and talk to them and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I'm down astronomically, y'all.

They're so intelligent and passionate and funny and cute and UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*screams*

I am a puddle of hot mush.

[rock-the-cassbah]

8 months on E today bitchessssssssssss

[rock-the-cassbah]

Therapist: what, besides work and voting do we have on the agenda for tomorrow to make sure that we're not just sitting in the anxiety all day?

Me: bootycall.

Him: ah yes. election day bootycall. classic. before or after voting?

Me: after, obviously.

Him: Well with your recent luck i thought maybe you were saving it so you'd have an out

Me: yeah but then if i do enjoy myself I will run out of time

Him: aha. always thinking two steps ahead, aren't we?

[rock-the-cassbah]

Like Leaves in Autumn. 🍂

[rock-the-cassbah]

Having a deep, earth-shattering, pulse pounding crush at 30 is so goddamn embarrassing.

I have had multiple dreams about riding in their car this week. Like wtf is that.

[rock-the-cassbah]

"Funny you should say that, Mr. Frog, but those coffee grounds we found at the murder... Well, they were Wilkins Coffee. Now see, the thing that bothers me, is that the victim... Well, he didn't drink Wilkins."

[rock-the-cassbah]

8½ (1963)

[rock-the-cassbah]

Keith Haring painting a mural at the BBDO headquarters in Dusseldorf, 1987.

[rock-the-cassbah]

[rock-the-cassbah]

you're standing here beside me, I love the passing of time !

[rock-the-cassbah]

Portra 800

Strand Book Store, NYC

[rock-the-cassbah]

This is where I grew up.

My childhood home, the A&W where my dad stood on the table and screamed at me in the middle of dinner service (and anytime I see him in my dreams now, we meet in an A&W. He seems trapped there somehow.)

The tennis court where my first real girlfriend and I would park the car and explore each other in the backseat.

The Star Theater I went to every year on my birthday until it finally shut down. (The last movie I saw here was Hancock starring Will Smith)

Here's the Scoop, the ice cream stand where my dad took me for everything from celebrating a passed belt test to breaking news of a family member's passing to me. (It was also a favorite spot to get me away from my mother)

The Korean Assembly of God church where I learned about community and first had what I'd describe as a mystical experience. (I tried kimchi for the first time here.)

The big haunted church where my sibling got married the first time and I quite possibly got exposed to asbestos.

The front lawn of the library where I spent every free moment I could to be away from my mom and read books about being gay.

I wasn't really planning to do anything with these, but having recently cut my mom off, and not being sure what could possibly bring me back to the area for any length of time, I wanted to post them somewhere and tell the stories that go along with them.

[rock-the-cassbah]

Yo y quien

[rock-the-cassbah]

Ow oof ow ow

FLEABAG | S02E06 (2019) SUCCESSION | S04E10 (2023) A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN | S01E05 (2022) LADY BIRD (2017) ONE DAY (2011)

[rock-the-cassbah]

“We?” “We.” “You’re going with me?” “Yeah. Yeah, you son of a bitch. I’m coming with ya.”

Mikey and Nicky (1976) dir. Elaine May

[rock-the-cassbah]

Midnight Cowboy (1969), dir. John Schlesinger