rochelleannejoy - Tumblr blog

[rochelleannejoy]

It has been a long time! I would like to ask for your help in creating an online livestream content. If you have any ideas, please comment your ideas below ❤️

I usually do musicals and Disney and Broadway productions online, so if you have any ideas you would like to share, please let me know!

I hope everyone is safe and well.

[rochelleannejoy]

05312020

I was walking around a subway, probably just came off a train, and I met Patricia and Ansherina along a road lined with trees (much like the ones in UP). I remember running from something and was trying to locate where I was so I could tell RJ where I came from. I knew I was in front of a familiar cafe but I couldn’t remember what the name was.  

[rochelleannejoy]

05142020

I was holding a baby in my arms, I accidentally hit the baby’s head onto a surface when I lost balance. It was crying, but I got it to stop eventually.  I forgot to post a note on the office board after a meeting. Apparently I’ve been throwing the notes away when I was supposed to post it on the board.  Now, the baby has status indicators I can see on the side, but the status showing were not of the baby’s.

[rochelleannejoy]

05112020

I distinctly remember taking time to think about whether I should put on some earrings attached to my earphones while someone was waiting for me outside.

[rochelleannejoy]

My love.

[rochelleannejoy]

In other news I would like to share how happy I am right now -- the type of happy where I can be who I am; the type where I am not afraid to be sad anymore; the type of happy I can hold on to; the type of happy I can count on; the type of happy I can face bad times with.  The type of happy that just lasts.

[rochelleannejoy]

It's unexplainable, how you and I are so different, yet no one could ever still be comparable to how you and I understand each other in the absence of words; how we perfectly align despite the cracks in between; and how we stand tiptoe-ing on the edge in perfect balance.  How ironic really, you and I, impossible in other people's eyes, but right here and now, standing side by side, more than just possible, but certain.

rochelleannejoy

[rochelleannejoy]

She falls, she crashes, and has to hold everything in. Keeping things together for others, but never being able to mend herself from all the hurt.

[rochelleannejoy]

Although, at times I'd really like to think everything will be better, things just eventually fall out worse than how they were before.

[rochelleannejoy]

My demons are too strong. And they are all validated by the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can never be good enough --for anything, for anyone.

[rochelleannejoy]

A lonely sheriff

[rochelleannejoy]

What Could Be

[rochelleannejoy]

Shut-eye, she undoubtedly handed over her heart to another soul who was just as blind as she was -- still he took it, not knowing what it was or to whom it belonged to. His warmth filled the heart. And in silence she smiled-- she could not see, but she could feel!

[rochelleannejoy]

i only accept apologies in cash

[rochelleannejoy]

Walls-- these are built to protect our homes, or ourselves, for that matter, from the things that could possibly hurt us outside. And I continue building up these walls around me, becuase I am afraid, and tired of getting hurt. But no matter how much I try, I couldn't stop all the hurt from getting to me.

And there are times when I want to reach out and break these walls myself, but everytime I do, I just find more and more reasons to rebuild it again. And just as I am able to shield myself from the outside, I then find myself battling demons from inside the walls I built.

And that -- I think is a tougher battle I face continuously.

And I am awfully tired.

[rochelleannejoy]

Don't we all try too hard sometimes?

[rochelleannejoy]

“Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. It’s like the tide going out, revealing whatever’s been thrown away and sunk: broken bottles, old gloves, rusting pop cans, nibbled fishbodies, bones. This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes, not knowing the future.”

—  Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye (via coral)