robotictapeworms

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survived checking my bank account. i deserve a little treat

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Shut ur up, people can wear whatever they want to pride, also ur misgendering a random guy because how dare he be proud of his body huh?

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the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

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I've got ONE (1) ticket I'm selling for the evening November 29th show from Will Woods slouching towards bethlehem tour

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My Welcome to Night Vale bookmark, animated! 

It may look glitchy (i don’t know why) but if you are on a computer, click on the gif to see it in full quality with no glitches :)

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And just the dance for you!

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the minecraft movie couldnt possibly recreate even a shred of the humor found in these screenshots

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Red Dead Redemption 2 was so real for creating the most in-depth, realistic clothing system I've ever seen in any game, and exclusively using it on burly, unhygienic men.

You choose every layer, every accessory, with dozens to hundreds of each to choose from. You can go in and fine-tune minute details like whether or not to roll up the shirt sleeves, or button the collar, or whether to wear your pants under your boots. These clothes get dirty in real time depending on what you do in the game. Mud, dust and blood linger unless washed off. Every garment has a warmth rating based on its material, and the game calculates what temperatures an outfit is suitable for based on the combined total. Dressing too cold or warm for the weather causes health debuffs.

You can choose which way he parts his hair, and whether he gels it. If you eat too much he gets bulkier and gains a double chin, and if you eat too little he can go underweight and get all bony and sallow. Both of these states come with stat changes. His hair and beard grow in real game time, and you need to routinely style and shave his facial hair if you want any style other than a full Santa. You need to bathe him regularly or people will start commenting on his BO, and he'll start visibly appearing filthy long before that. He sunburns in the sun, and in the heat he becomes slick and glossy with sweat.

This shit is IN DEPTH. It blows the customization systems of actual fashion-centric games like tf2, Monster Hunter and Splatoon out of the water in every regard. They honestly look basic in comparison. It's a paradigm shift for sure once you experience RDR2's level of customization. Everything else starts to feel smaller.

The player character all this customization is applied to, and I simply cannot stress this enough, is a 36 year old, 6'3" smoker weighing well over 200 pounds, with facial hair thicker than a sheepdogs, forearms like gnarled tree trunks and a dark, dense forest of body hair covering every reasonable surface. His skin is pocked and marred with scars from a rugged, nomadic lifestyle, and his teeth are the colour of cornbread. He has a thick southern accent, is a known mean drunk and knows how to skin pretty much any North American animal. He has never worn deodorant, flossed or moisturized. He eats canned beans, fruit and the like by simply pouring them into his mouth and gulping, often while walking or riding a horse at full gallop.

I can think of NO better use case for such customization. Not some fresh-faced little twink, not some busty anime babe. Just a gross, hairy, unwashed homeless dude with crippling self esteem issues and a chest broader than a barrel laid lengthwise. A non fashion-centric game, certainly a non-fashion centric character, but for some reason the best clothing and customization system ever concieved, bar none. What the fuck.

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tumblr please stop telling me to wd40 a mouse

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I want to thank everyone so much for the support on my timeskip bachelorette art!!! Glad you were all excited to see the boys. Hopefully I didn’t keep you all waiting too long and hopefully I did them justice! Here they are! (and Krobus)

(Also. If you like these and want me to draw your farmer smooching their spouse, I can! My commission info is here)

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(x)

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One of each to be exact (I mean what were you expecting from an ex-office worker)

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all of the seasoned stardew valley players starting a fresh, year 1 farm today for the 1.6 upgrade