ritamariealan

[ritamariealan]

Pt 2 of my Hazbin redesigns! More are on the way! (Adam is getting a RE-redesign soon!)

[ritamariealan]

CW anti Radioapple and Zukka, if you like these ships, please ignore this message!

Someone recently wrote a post about how it makes no sense that Radioapple is one of the most popular ships in the fandom.

And, dude, my gosh, I totally agree!

The post seems to be deleted now, so I can’t reblog :(

Among all the Alastor ships out there Radioapple makes the least sense. And yeah, I am not against people shipping it if they like, but it’s so irritating to me that it became so popular 😫

You cannot escape it even if you try in Tumblr, and I have zero interest in seeing it.

RadioRose and Radiostatic have the backstory and at least some connection and chemistry on the deeper level. I will never understand why these ships loose to freaking Radioapple in terms of popularity…

I have a feeling that ppl just choose the “most pretty boys” and ship them together, even if there is no context for that.

It’s the same thing with ATLA fandom, where Zukka is the most popular ship, and god damn, they make no sense in canon! They are just pretty…

And again, no hate if you like Radioapple or Zukka, I am just whining because I can’t escape these ships in fandom no matter how hard I try, and I see no appeal in them for myself.

And yeah, I put the anti tags, so ppl who like those ships, please just ignore! The post is definitely not for you, and my goal is not to offend you or what you like.

[ritamariealan]

God, he's so fucking weird. I love him.

Does he have a bed? Who knows. Does he even sleep? Who knows! I present... Alastor's room from ep.3, the full length edition.

[ritamariealan]

I know everyone's already said this, but Vox is so funny because he's quite literally the most competent and professional Vee.

EXCEPT for when it comes to Alastor.

Like, HE’S the one who had to calm down Valentino and keep him from making a scene. (Especially because, yes, it looks bad if they can't control their employees, but - even in hell - it looks even worse if their top pornstar has to be dragged to the studio vs walking in on his own).

Velvette doesn't give a shit about professionalism. Like, Vox wanted to talk to Carmine about Angelic Security, and you think THAT'S how he wanted Velvette to treat her to try to guarantee them working together? Absolutely not.

(Also, Vox being able to immediately turn the tide of the paparazzi harassing him about news that JUST broke? Granted, he did use his hypnosis, but it wouldn't have worked if he didn't immediately come up with something on the fly. He knows how to keep his company running AND looking good, as WELL as being innovative enough to create new things with little to no notice.)

The other two Vees? I would not trust either of them to be the public speaker or the face of the company the way Vox is. Do you think either Velvette or Valentino would have been able to come up with a solution to the moved-up Extermination date in a way that pleased the general public?

But then. Some old timey radio deer shows back up and he immediately breaks down and can't plan for shit.

He sings a silly little song and immediately gets owned to the point he loses power to the entire city.

He plans to break in using a dude they KNOW is incompetent, and his only response when it (obviously) fails is to fucking gamer anon hate with "hahaha kys loser!" and the second he is confronted with Alastor’s face he can't do anything. He doesn't even try a single other thing after this point, cutting his loses entirely.

And THEN he avoids the meeting sending Velvette instead, potentially fucking up their ability to collaborate because he can't handle seeing Alastor.

This bisexual wreck of a television doesn't fucking leave his gamer dungeon once since Alastor is back, doing everything he can to avoid seeing him in real life.

Like, imagine what dealing with Vox is like from Alastor's perspective. HE never sees the professionalism or competence - he ONLY ever gets the pathetic mew-mew Vox!

Alastor is constantly being told how competent Vox is with his company and shit, but the second he's in the same room with him Vox is glitching and can't walk in a straight line without running into a wall or something. If I were Alastor, I'd have fun teasing the television too, because, like, what's wrong with him? It's funny!

Like, does Alastor register that this treatment is only for him, or does he think the rest of hell is pathetic enough to not notice or to just accept it? Does Alastor think Vox is like this all the time, and he's using his hypnosis to make everyone else forget about it?

Vox is just such a funny man, he has one weakness and it's just Alastor - and Alastor isn't even doing anything, he's just nearby minding his own goddamn business, lmao.

[ritamariealan]

Why is calling Alastor dramatic so fkn funny to me 😭

Guys

They built him a whole new radio tower to come home to. They knew his dramatic ass was just off licking his wounds.

Charlie: We should have a nice room ready for Alastor when he gets back!

Lucifer: Ughh, fine. Just put it on the opposite end from me

[ritamariealan]

Also

I mean come on..

People tell me shipping charlastor is bad meanwhile literally every single frame they’re in together looks like this

[ritamariealan]

"Ha! Don't be delusional--I don't miss you."

[ritamariealan]

Forgot to post this here for a while...At this point, my brand is just dumb jokes jklfasghlaknsd

[ritamariealan]

I've decided the most insane way to get confirmation of the radiostatic breakup wouldn't be to do anything. No fight, no confrontation, no flashback.

No.

Alastor (and whoever else from the hotel) are walking around, and happen to see Vox walking Vark.

Vox immediately is like, "Fuck you, Alastor!"

Meanwhile, Vark - upon seeing Alastor - immediately excitedly barks and happy runs to him, begging for pets and love from him.

Vox tries to keep up the facade that they hate each other the entire time his shark-dog is begging Alastor to rub his belly. Neither mention the elephant in the room, and Alastor avoids eye contact with whoever he is with as he - very briefly - pets Vark.

They flip each other off as they walk away and ignore the fact that Alastor slipped Vark a treat from his pocket.

Alastor refuses to answer any questions about what just happened.

[ritamariealan]

Day 7: Morning After

Alastor keeps having sex with Vox and he doesn't know how to handle his emotions.

[ritamariealan]

Where do you think Vox and Alastor would fall on the attachment theory scale? (Can be specific to the 666 series or just in general, I’m just curious for your thoughts :))

My psychology degree popping out of the woodwork to run screaming into the room, ahaha.

I think Vox and Alastor have completely opposite attachment styles, which is exactly why radiostatic is such a fun ship.

Alastor is low anxiety and high avoidance, so: prone to being dismissive and avoidant. He has people that he's comfortable with, but they're few and far between to the point that Angel Dust is shocked to meet an actual friend of his, and Mimzy doesn't actually even outright call them friends despite their obvious closeness. He plays things off constantly and keeps a lot of distance between himself and others. Which makes sense! The moment he allows himself to sit back with Niffty and admit that he could get used to being around the Hazbin Hotel crew, he is immediately punished by the narrative in the form of Adam for even considering caring about people, and promptly has a downward emotional spiral about the consequences of potentially liking people. He has not been living in a world where forming secure attachments willy-nilly is safe.

Vox, meanwhile, is his diametric opposite by being low avoidance and high anxiety: so, preoccupied as fuck. Especially with Alastor. Vox knows this. Alastor knows this. Valentino knows this. He hears that Alastor is back in town and promptly commandeers the entire city's electrical grid to obsess about it, and even before Alastor starts his diss track, Vox is already anxious and borderline manic about Alastor and what he's been doing and what he's going to do now that he's back.

"Who gives a shit?!" says the man who could not possibly care more if he got paid to do so.

[ritamariealan]

Alastor? Being annoying on purpose just to fuck with everyone?

Never!

More thoughts on Alastor and why I don't think he's actually outdated:

I totally understand why many thoughts are going in the direction of him disliking Vox and TV as a whole because it is the technology that more or less replaced radio in the public eye, but I also think that we (so far, as of episode 4) have never really been given any evidence that he dislikes TV on principle rather than because he dislikes Vox and Vox is TV. Like, yes, he maintains a very dated aesthetic and does things like call TV "picture shows."

But also.

He throws around phrases like, "And now he's pissy, that's the tea!" and speaks with a permanent transatlantic accent (commonly used for TV and radio during his era but not actually naturally-occuring) at literally all times. This guy is not clueless - he's putting on airs. He knows modern lingo and he uses it comfortably and naturally.

There's a fanfic that, to save my life, I cannot remember the name of, where Angel Dust asks Alastor something to the tune of, "So what I'm getting out of this conversation is that you know it's called a cell phone and you just talk like you've never seen one on purpose?" and Alastor responds with, "Naturally!" that I think hit the nail on the head.

Especially when Alastor's anachronisms are so pointed. He calls Vox's TV show a "video podcast," which, 1) a podcast is a pretty modern term for him to know, originating at some point in the early 2000s and 2) deliberately reframes Vox's entire thing in terms of an audio format. It's not television. It's a podcast (a form of audio media that originated in the desire to download online radio broadcasts) with some video tacked on, he guesses.

Anyway, the tl;dr is that while I'm sure Alastor prefers his own era, I don't think Alastor is actually outdated, I think he's being fucking annoying on purpose.

Look at him. Look at his smug knifecat face. Bastardous. I love him.

ETA: The fanfic I mentioned is Anguish of the Marrow!

[ritamariealan]

alastor don't look zesty challenge

100% failure rate

What does zesty mean?

Nothing~

you lost

Huh??

[ritamariealan]

https://x.com/kanokiwa/status/1809165481669997013?t=O9LTOOfqcTWXa3wO6I-owA&s=19

[ritamariealan]

Because narcissism

Okay Alastor got a type. Cause why he beefy with these two specifcally

I want all three of them locked in a room

[ritamariealan]

☆ ★ Alastor Shipping Alignment Chart ★ ☆

Descriptions under the cut.

Wholesome alignments:

No one ♥ Sensible-Wholesome ♥ Ace Alastor. Affirming and objectively correct. It's canon, and you're sticking to it.

Charlastor ♥ Neutral-Wholesome ♥ Yin and yang, and maybe redemption. You want something that's good for both of them.

RadioDust ♥ Horny-Wholesome ♥ They're both fucked up in different ways, but maybe they can get less fucked up together. (With lots of fucking.)

Neutral alignments:

RadioRose ♥ Sensible-Neutral ♥ Friends-to lovers whose vintage aesthetic is a key component of their relationship. You know the type.

Selfship/OC Pairing ♥ True neutral ♥ Obviously. Does this need further explanation? This is the bingo free space.

RadioApple ♥ Horny-Neutral ♥ Why have conflict when you could have sexual tension instead? More "rivals-to-lovers" than "enemies-to-lovers," since they're technically on the same side (for now). But who's "Daddy?"

Fucked Up Alignments:

RadioHusk ♥ Sensible-Fucked Up ♥ They do have that whole soul-deal thing going on. Is it a kink? Is there resolution and forgiveness for it? Stockholm syndrome? DD:DNE? So many flavors to choose from. All of them angsty.

AlMimzy ♥ Neutral-Fucked Up ♥ Does Alastor finally reciprocate her unrequited crush? And who's the bad influence on whom?

RadioStatic ♥ Horny-Fucked Up ♥ True enemies to lovers. Or just hate fucking. (Or the secret third option: Vox being obsessed and Alastor fucking with him because he likes to make Vox suffer from how badly he wants Alastor - my favorite.)

☆ ★ ☆

(Please take all this in good fun. No judgment for any of these ships. ♥)

[ritamariealan]

Alastor and Vox are so funny sometimes because they’re so much alike, but I think both of them would rather double-die than admit it.

Like Alastor fucking hates Vox, but if he were to explain why he hates him, I think it’d look something like this:

My Blessed Radio vs his barbarous television

My Glorious Entertainment vs his shallow nonsense

My Great Showmanship vs his pretentious show off-ishness

My Nobel Extroverted Nature vs his big stupid mouth (Seriously where is his mute button? How do I turn the volume off on this horrendous thing?)

My Well-Earned Confidence vs his absurd arrogance