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My dash has been weird for the last few days and I figured yours might be too so here’s a cat making soup
Holy shit
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“I'll always encourage the reckless texts confessing your feelings. The kind where you throw your phone after hitting send.I'll always encourage the horribly straightforward conversations at 3am when conversations get deep and you can't always put how you feel into words. I'll always encourage you to say the things that make your heart beat fast and your legs shake. Because i know how alive you feel when you feel something for someone else.”
— (via seabelle)
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Speculations
NYC-based artist Sarah Meyohas creates infinite tunnels that are created with facing mirrors set against pastel backdrops. Smoke, flowers, and finger tips border the reflective surfaces, creating dream-like environments that pull the viewer deep into the image’s frame.
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cant wait to decorate a home n make it cozy and beautiful and mine
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Self defence sprays that are legal to carry and use in the United Kingdom
Image 1: Farbgel Image 2: StoppaRed
I’ve seen a lot of people (mostly women, for reasons which may be obvious) speaking about being worried when going out, be it alone or even with friends, both in the day and at night. I know that a lot of female friends of mine carry around a can of antiperspirant or a pot of pepper to use if they’re ever attacked. What I know a lot of people don’t realise is that there are products out there which work in a violent situation and help in catching the assailant for the best part of a week afterwards.
Known as ‘criminal identifiers’, these sprays are brightly coloured dyes which can be sprayed in the face of an attacker. Unlike things such as CS or Pepper sprays, criminal identifier sprays are legal in the UK.
There’s a few available on the market, with farbgel and Mace’s Stoppared being the mostly highly recommended.
What these sprays do is release a sticky, brightly coloured dye. It’s difficult to wipe away and stains the skin a bright red colour. No matter how hard an attacker might try to remove it from their skin and clothing, the staining typically lasts for around a week and doesn’t start to fade until after a few days have passed.
Unlike CS and Pepper sprays (which, again, aren’t legal in the UK) criminal identifier sprays don’t cause irritation or pain to an attacker. Instead, they expand and clog up the area sprayed with a kind of sticky foam that’s difficult to wipe away. It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon’s arse to the police.
Each can of the sprays costs around £10 each, though it may be cheaper when buying multiple canisters and if you shop around.
FarbGel
StoppaRed UV Personal Attack Self-Defence Spray by Mace
This is an original post, but I’ve released it into the public domain. It can be shared, altered, reposted in whole or in part with no need for attribution (though obviously I would appreciate it!)
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:( I know this is going to sound whiny and stupid and vain but I'm rlly upset bc my hair is so ugly and damaged. A few years ago I decided to do a straightening treatment on my thick, curly hair and here I am 3 years later with thin, dry, and fragile hair. It makes me so sad bc I used to have rlly pretty hair.. idk why I did this to myself. I know it's disgusting but I even have dandruff now bc I've been depressed and haven't bothered about personal hygiene for a long time. I'm garbage :(
you are not garbage !! baby I promise, you are a queen. you hair may be slightly damaged, but that does not affect your worth at all and there is hope for your hair.
I think in this case, a good personal motivator for hygiene would be your gorgeous hair itself, even though you’re not so fond of it right now. here are some tips to help bring it back to life:
• avoid shampoo that contains sulfate, it just dries your hair out. avoid these alcohols too: denatured alcohol, sd alcohol, sd alcohol 40, witch hazelI, sopropanol/isopropyl, etthanol, propanol.
• do maybe 1 - 2 hair conditioning masks a week. the protein will help rebuild the hair’s natural keratin and it’ll help maintain moisture. remember these don’t have to be expensive products, home remedies work too.
• avoid using hot tools on your hair, and always use a heat protectant when you do. air drying is always best though.
• never use a normal brush on wet hair. here’s a great guide on how to brush curly wet hair.
• trim off any excess damaged ends.
and here are some great home remedies for hair masks. just blend, apply, leave it in for at least 20 minutes, and rinse:
•1 egg, ½ avocado, 1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil, 1/3 cup of coconut milk.
• warm extra virgin olive oil.
• if you have dark hair, you can also try flat, warm beer. let it sit while you shower, then rinse with cool water.
• vinegar mixed with warm water is another good one to try in the shower.
here’s a list of 20 more home recipes. remember that your hair won’t necessarily look the same but you’re helping it heal, and I really do think you’ll be pleased with the results. don’t give up okay? you’re beautiful no matter what💘
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My bestfriend/girlfriend is dissociating lately and has been having a lot of breakdowns and I don't know how to help and I feel more and more useless even though she says talking to me helps. I still feel like I'm not doing enough, and on top of that her family berates her constantly. I don't know what to do, I would truly love some help -a.a.c
I think you’re a very strong and supportive person. asking for help at this point is very understandable considering your concern. you can’t do it all on your own, and know you’ve done more than enough. if she says talking to you helps, trust her. it’s really important to have someone she can be honest with.
I don’t know any details about her past but if her dissociating is interrupting her daily life and she isn’t already seeing someone, I would suggest that she finds a counselor or therapist. dissociation usually occurs as a coping method after some sort of trauma, which needs to be addressed by the survivor. talking about therapy in a positive light can make this easier for her.
healing truly does take patience. in the meantime, when you’re dealing with dissociation try to practice some grounding techniques with her such as:
• name five things in the room.
• repeat positive coping statements such as “I am safe here.” “this will pass.” “I’m stronger than I think.”, “this won’t last forever” etc.
• pick a colour and look for things of that colour in the room.
here is a good list of grounding techniques.
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I love a boy. I think I love him. I have really bad daddy issues and this boy makes me feel safe and okay. But I struggle with anxiety + depression and I feel as if I dump my problems on him and that i'm making a home of him? he says that he loves me, and my problems don't define me. He wants to be there, but I keep pushing him away. I don't want to hurt him, and my self esteem is horrible. I don't see why anyone would ever want to love me. This boy loves me, he tells me always. What do I do?
baby it honestly felt like I sent this to myself. the best advice I can give is to believe him. it can be extremely hard to accept that people love us, even when they have done nothing to make us believe so. relationships are never simple, and I understand feeling like a burden on your partner but that does not make it true. don’t believe everything you think.
try to remember that he is no more or less perfect than you are. we can’t obsess over the image we have of ourselves in other people’s minds. finding someone who wants to spend time with us through the good and bad is always a blessing. try to embrace where you are right now: you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to have someone to supports and loves you. stay strong baby.💘
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I am excessively dependent on some of my friends and worried I am in love with them. Even if I'm not in love with them, the dependency is still an issue, and it sometimes causes me a lot of sadness and loneliness. Any help or insight? Thank you so much.
hey daring. it takes a lot of courage and patience to overcome emotional dependency, but it is possible. whether you’re in love or not, it’s a great idea to reclaim your independence and take back control of your life.
• emotional dependency can be described as a person allowing another person to affect them emotionally, and depending on them for happiness. this gives others complete control, which negatively affects self esteem. we seek fulfillment from something or someone outside of ourselves.
• explore the fear that underlies your dependency. as children, we depend on our parents for survival. believe it or not, most of us don’t grow out of that pattern into adulthood. this can happen unconsciously, so it’s important to recognize the pattern.
• sometimes our biggest fear is truly being alone with ourselves. learning to be comfortable or “okay” with loneliness is crucial. were constantly seeking a distraction or form of entertainment. realize that what you’re looking for outside of yourself, is already within you.
• emotional dependency can also be found in dependent personality disorder, a condition in which people depend too much on others to meet their emotional and physical needs.
• it’s easy to get carried away by the things we want. it always starts as a preference, and then slowly turns into a need. to cope with this feeling, remind yourself “that might be good, but I will be more than okay without it.”
• remember that your needs are no one else’s responsibility. it’s easy to get upset when someone lets us down but it’s never the solution. it can be difficult, but accepting that others have limitations when it comes to relationships and friendships is important.
• spend time with yourself. get to know who you really are. realize that all the negative images you have of yourself are just illusions. who you truly are is already liberated of all dependency.
• don’t ignore or push away your dependent feelings. often we end up replacing one unhealthy dependency with another. digging to the root cause is key.
it’s always a good idea to reach out for extra help. even though that might seem counter productive, it’s good to have a support system that you can trust and learn from. you’re definitely not alone. 💘
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My skin is breaking out everywhere while I just got my self esteem back up and now it just plummeted, I don't want to leave my house and I want to stop eating since it helped before, I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for awhile and I can't find anyways to help me I just want help
darling you have to keep eating. I know it might seem like it helps at first, but not eating will drain the natural colour from your skin and make you look tired.
• rinse your skin often. be gentle and remember that water is your friend.
• stress is a major cause for breakouts. explore relaxing activities such as meditating, yoga, or painting. sometimes we just have to focus on our own happiness for a while.
• chill on the treatments. I work for a vegan health and wellness company and trust me when I say overusing products will dry out your skin, causing it to produce more oil. natural remedies are very effective and much less expensive.
• baking soda masks or spot treatments work wonders on the skin. it’s also an exfoliator, and helps reduce inflammation. just take baking soda and a bit of water to form a paste, and apply it to your skin. when you first try this, leave it on for 5-15 minutes. you can gradually leave it on longer for better results. this also helps with scars.
• avoid using products containing mineral oil. it just clogs your pores and does nothing beneficial for your skin.
• coconut oil and tea tree oil are both antibacterial and can be used as acne fighting moisturizers.
• greasy and spicy foods can throw off your pH levels causing breakouts. refined sugar, and dairy have also been known to cause breakouts. keep track of the foods you eat. get more avocados, coconut oil, green tea, dark berries, and leafy vegetables into your diet.
• stop touching your face and definitely don’t touch problem areas. our hands carry a lot of bacteria and oils, and when we mess with problem areas we just end up spreading the bacteria deeper and all over our skin. I used to tell myself “STOP” whenever I caught myself anxiously touching my face.
breakouts are very common. you’re still beautiful.💘
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