reignsupremewellness-blog

[reignsupremewellness-blog]

Memoir PT.1

What all started as a routine physical almost three years ago has been a big effect in my life today. The last year has been filled with doctors, tests, and more tests. For most of my young womanhood I have always had trouble with weight gain, hormonal cystic acne, depression, staying motivated, and dietary issues. This has always had me really alert and adamant about doing everything in my control to maintain a healthy lifestyles to make changes on most of my concerns. I was constantly at the dermatologist, gynecologist and my primary care doctor for birth control or hormone therapy, topical treatments or antibiotics. In the back of my mind I knew that it could possibly that I had an imbalance or that something was not functioning correctly in my body because the struggles were so far out of reach for me with making progress.  

Three years ago I was having my regular physical at my primary care. It has always been normal for my blood work and vitals to be normal and everything was functioning well. My doctor was a very sweet and humorous young woman I had been seeing her for almost a year at that point. She was very knowledgeable and always assisting me with my needs and concerns. While dong my exam she paused when she reached my neck area. She then began to feel on the front of my neck in my thyroid area focusing on the lower area. She asked me if I had noticed that there was a lump in my thyroid area or if I had any pain or trouble swallowing. I began to feel the lump and surprisingly it was pretty noticeable and felt firm, did not notice it before and it did not have any pain. She scheduled me an appointment in radiology to get a sonogram of that area. After my first sonogram it was shown that I had a 1.5 cm nodule on the right side of my thyroid, after that she scheduled me to see an endocrinologist and I was then scheduled to have a fine needle aspiration biopsy. I knew that this was pretty serious and was something that needed to be addressed and when my appointment came for some odd reason I decided to go alone. I was nowhere prepared as I thought I was for my biopsy procedure I read up on the biopsy process but I guess I did not think it was going to be that bad.  The procedure is very uncomfortable while laying on your back with a little numbing gel on your neck that did nothing but burn for me because I have sensitive skin. The doctor inserts a three inch needle in my neck four times to draw out four samples from the nodule. Not a pleasant feeling and I never wanted to experience that again. The result of that biopsy came back with results being undetermined. Undetermined was still not a crystal clear result and not cancelling or confirming if that nodule was benign or cancerous. So I had to schedule another fine needle aspiration three months from then.

After having some health insurance issues out of my control I was no longer covered to receive treatments at my physician’s office. I received this news about a month before my second biopsy appointment. I would have to start this process all over with a new team of doctors. During this time that I was switching my doctors I began to do a lot of research on this, growing very knowledgeable on thyroid and the connection it plays on my overall health. Including issues with my hormones, acne, anxiety and momentum, everything was started to all come together and make more sense to me.  

Months of getting new appointments scheduled, labs transferred and specialty referrals I finally had a new endocrinologist to take over with my biopsy. Last year in September 2018 my second biopsy appointment finally arrived this time I absolutely did not go alone, I asked my angel to come. My mom happily obliged to accompany me to my appointment she has always shown me a great deal of support, faith and encouragement. While having the biopsy which included a sonogram it was shown that in addition to my 1.5 cm nodule, I had a second nodule on the right side of my thyroid, but it was under the size that required testing. About three weeks later the results came back with the result undetermined again. At this point things became a scary for me I knew that this was something that could turn out to be very serious but I always had a lot of faith and was positive that it was nothing wrong.

My third fine needle aspiration biopsy was scheduled and trust me I was not looking forward to it at ALL and I was really nervous about the outcome of my testing. My endocrinologist explained to me that this time the samples from the biopsy would be tested in a different way from the first and second biopsy and it would be sent on for genetic testing. Genetic testing was a new technology that is used recently to test the cells in the nodule and get clearer results. My doctor revealed all of the possible outcomes depending on the results and that it was a chance that my nodule was cancerous, and if it was cancerous I would have to undergo surgery to remove partial of my thyroid or my entire thyroid and have to take synthetic hormone medicine for the rest of my natural life and receive cancer treatment. There was also a chance that the nodule could be benign and could be left alone. In my mind I was like, “ME WITH CANCER? NO WAY…NO WAY, THERE COULD BE NO WAY. Honestly these thoughts sat with me day and night I did not know was in store for my future.

A month and a half later my results came back from the genetic test. The results were “malignant follicular neoplasm”.  Malignant follicular neoplasm means that the genetic testing came back positive for cancer cells.  All of this was very scary for me I had not had any other medical issues or surgery thankfully. Not only was this very disappointing for me it was officially stated that I could have cancer and I knew that the chances of the nodule benign was out of the window. Again that result was not crystal clear, so you know what that meant MORE TESTING. At that point I wanted more to just be healthy, I wanted answers, and I did not want to have anything to do with cancer. Unfortunately for me cancer was a %50 chance, and I had to schedule my surgery to remove that right side of my thyroid.

My endocrinologist referred me to an otolaryngologist surgeon and we decided to just take out of right side of my thyroid that contained nodules, the fact that it was a %50 chance that the nodule was cancerous or benign. It was explained to me that if that pathology report from my surgery shown that it was cancer I would have to have another surgery within the next month to have the left side of thyroid removed and start cancer treatment and begin to take the synthetic hormone until my last days on earth.  After discussing all possible options and outcomes, and testing my vocal cords with a spydy camera inside of my nostrils all the way down to my voice box it was time to schedule my surgery. Being faith driven I decided to look at the glass being half full instead of half empty and for that reason alone I told myself that it would not be cancer.  

The big day was scheduled for January 11, 2019. It was an outpatient surgery and I stayed overnight for observation it was my first surgery ever and anesthesia was involved which was also a first for me. My recovery time was about a month and it was not easy.  Very difficult to talk, eat, drink, and swallow because of the breathing tube and my painful incision. Transitioning and recovery was a roller coaster to me and this new situation required a lot of lifestyle changes. I also had some mess with my employer that did not make this process for me any easier. I had to get used to my new scar that was difficult for me too and made my situation a little more transparent than I wanted it to be. Two weeks after my surgery the results were in. I was diagnosed with Papillary Carcinoma aka thyroid cancer. To make matters worse another surgery had to be scheduled to remove the other side of my thyroid in THREE WEEKS. I have to go through this surgery process all over again and deal with my new condition. What a BLOW, honestly this news blew me away I was in total disbelief, shocked, saddened, the worst heartbreak yet. How could I have cancer? What did I do to cause it? Will this cancer spread? Will I die? Is cancer therapy going to drastically change my life and I will have no hair or energy? I could write a book on the emotions I felt just alone from the doctor telling me my results. It was time to share this news, tell my family and closest friends and deal with it. Tell my employer which is my least favorite place, my personal life changing news. I went numb like a zombie, I was having an out of body experience knowing I was functioning but not feeling like I was physically present day in and out. I am a very private and reserved person now in my life and it was not easy to talk about or explain this to people.