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the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for
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What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?
Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”
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guys stop making funny posts I'm scrumbling at work and if I smile at my phone they will shoot me immediately
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Hi
Fuck it, classics predictions for Tumblr in 2024
Terfs will go so far in their bio essentialism that they will insist that women are fundamentally cold and wet and men are hot and dry, due to being cooked more in the womb
Fake Tumblr activism will accidentally bring back the Oppian Laws
Aeneas will become Tumblrs new poor little meow meow but only after someone publishes a retelling where he and Turnus are in love
Someone invents another fake goddess
Oracle of Delphi blog emerges to catalogue Tumblr moments of prophecy
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Rumor has it Apollo's got a flat ass can you confirm, oracle?
Absolutely concave. Hank hill ass. Ass from the plywood section of home depot
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Here's a test
My first offering! Ah, the ugliest little girl
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When you say something as a joke & it comes true
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I love memetic communication when it gets to the point of being incomprehensible because can you imagine showing someone this picture
And asking them what Greek god it represents
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FAQ
Who are you?
The Oracle.
What is this?
A blog to curate only the finest tumblr prophecies.
Why are you doing this?
The bit.
Can we submit posts?
Absolutely! The ask and submit are both open. They do have to be posts that have come true in some way or another, not predictions for the future. They can also be memes and jokes about tumblr users gifts of prophecy.
Can we send you asks?
Sure! Ask away. I can offer free range memes, cringe comebacks, and blatantly untrue prophecies.
Can we leave you offerings?
I only accept pet pics and dad jokes.
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