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Confession: Jag uttalar det jenre och jag skäms inte för det

Speaking of uttal, på vilket förbannat sätt får man egentligen 'Schanger' från 'Genre'

Svartmagi, skulle jag gissa 

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Stark Tower has literally got the best wifi in the whole of New York and Tony makes it free as well so sometimes he’ll walk out of the ground floor and just see like a dozen or so people, usually kids, just sat on the doorstep on their phones or laptops and like it’s such a little thing to do but yknow. He’s Ironman. Give the kids some damn fast wifi.

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Wait, back up.

“This time?”

Tony what did you do the other times!?

Doctor Strange: How did you manage to break your ankle this time?

Tony: pole dancing. Gotta stay limber.

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Stephen

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PINECONE BIRD

OMG I LOVE IT

WHAT THE FRICK IS IT?! xD

Long-wattled Umbrellabird (Cephalopterus penduliger) in Ecuador by Mario Espinosa.

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Tony is me dealing with my anxiety

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Trade with @ziksua <333 QvQ 

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#1--April 14, 2019

Guys, I would tell you if I had a son

The first time the Rogues figured out that Tony was hiding something was during one of their meetings discussing the New Sokovia Accords.  The Accords had been revised while the Rogues were on the run and they still need some tweaking even after the Rogue Avengers had been pardoned.  So, not long after the Rogue Avengers came to the Compound, they scheduled a meeting with the new Secretary of State, Tony, and Rhodey, and began to hatch out the mistakes of the old Accords and what to add to the new one.

“We’re not making small-time heroes like Spider-Man and Daredevil reveal their identities if they don’t want to!” Tony argues, standing up and slamming his hands on the table.  He glowers at the new Secretary of State who suggested that they keep the superhero registration system that also conveniently revealed who the superheroes were.

“That’s not what I was suggesting, Mr. Stark,” the new Secretary of State Thomas Ellis’s hologram says.  “All I was saying was that all superheroes should be registered under the Avengers Initiative and will be called into the bigger battles if they are needed.  Their names would not be disclosed to the public and they will not be crowned as an Avenger unless all of the current Avengers agree.”

Tony, now assured that Peter’s identity will be kept a secret until the kid decides to reveal himself, sits back down in his chair next to Rhodey and Natasha.  “Why are you protecting that kid, Stark?” Sam asks, looking at Tony with a perked eyebrow.  Tony glares at Wilson and just manages to stop himself from standing again.

“Because he’s a kid,” Tony stresses, using Sam’s words against him.  Sam opens his mouth to make a retort but is cut off when Tony’s watch suddenly flashes red and blue.  Tony feels his face pale and he immediately taps his arc reactor that happens to be concealing one of the first prototypes of his nanotech suit and gestures for Friday to open the window.

“Tony, what–?” Steve is cut off when Tony blasts out of the room full tilt.

“What’s going on?” Ellis asks, sounding bewildered.  The remaining Avengers, save for Rhodey who knows what the watch means, exchange glances.

“We don’t know,” Steve says, sitting back down in his chair next to Sam and across from Natasha.

The second time Tony is caught hiding something-slash-acting suspicious was a few days later on Friday at noon.  He has a phone tucked between his ear and shoulder while he scrambles around the common room, grabbing papers at random.  The team had seen scraps of notebook paper with complicated looking equations on them sitting around for a few days, but since they’re still very iffy with Tony, they just ignored the papers and didn’t touch them.

“I don’t see the papers you’re talking about!” Tony mutters into the phone, stepping around Natasha who’s sitting in a nearby armchair with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ‘Black Wid-oreo’ ice cream.  A few moments of illegible mutters and Tony stops, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “Pete, I can’t hear you!  Why are you even calling me while you’re in the cafeteria?  It’s not like I have super hearing!”

A few more moments go past with Tony waiting for whoever is on the other line to move to somewhere quieter.  Some clearer but still illegible mutters and Tony bends down next to the couch, pulling a few papers from under it.  “Who the hell sticks metal alloy equations under a couch?” Tony mutters to himself, tossing all of the papers into a red and blue folder.  The team just watch as Tony heads into the elevator and disappears behind the doors.

“What the hell was that all about?” Sam asks Steve–who is sketching from a love seat next to Natasha’s armchair–and Natasha who’s nearly finished with the ice cream named after her.

“Language,” Steve comments, not even looking up from where he’s sketching the Compound.  “And it’s not our business who Tony talks to.”

“Oh, c'mon!” Sam says, throwing his arms up in exasperation.  “Don’t tell me that you're not interested in who he was talking to?  And what about the other day during the meeting when he sped off in that new suit of his?  What do you think, Nat?”

“I think the two are connected,” Natasha says, sticking another spoon of ice cream in her mouth.  Why does Stark even have ice cream named after me in his freezer? Natasha thinks to herself before sticking another cookie loaded spoonful in her mouth.

Before anyone else can speak, the elevator doors ding open, revealing Tony in a pair of jeans, a band-t, and one of his jackets.  He’s still on the phone as he heads into the kitchen.  “What do you want me to bring?” the group hears him say into the phone from the living room.  A few seconds past and Tony snorts.  “Really, kid?  Skittles?  What are you, ten?“  The team can barely hear a muffled “Hey!” from the phone as Tony heads towards the elevator, a large bag of skittles in his hand and his phone in the other.

Tony turns to the group.  “Okay, gotta go, Pete.  See you soon,” Tony says, not even waiting for a response as he hangs up.  “I’m leaving for the weekend, so don’t break anything or do anything stupid.  Got it?”

“Where are you going?” Sam asks, trying to dig for some information.  Tony just lifts an eyebrow, whips on his shades, and says:

“Nowhere that you need to concern yourself with.“  Before anyone can say anything, Tony jumps into the elevator.  "Bring me to the garage, Fri."  The elevator doors shut and the group exchanges suspicious glances.

The third time they caught Tony hiding something the man in question wasn’t even there.  The Compound was being fumigated so everyone had to spend a week at the Tower.  It is a few weeks later on Friday again, though this time it’s a little later in the day.

The group has just arrived at the Tower and what they really want to do is drop their stuff off and relax.  Maybe watch a movie or something.  "God, it’s been too long since we’ve last been here,” Sam says as they walk into the Avenger’s private elevator.

“Where would you like to go?” Friday asks the team as the doors shut behind them.

“Can you take us to our floors and then take us to the common room?” Steve asks.  Without saying anything, the AI takes them to their rooms.  It barely even takes them a minute or two to drop off their stuff and then they’re speeding off towards the common room.  The doors ding open and they all freeze at the sight of a teenage boy sitting at the newly added dining table covered in papers and his backpack.

“Hey, Mr. Stark, do you think I can come down to the lab, now?  I’ve nearly finished all of my homework and I have all week–” the teenage boy freezes as he spins around, eyes wide and body tense as he meets their gazes,  “–end.  Uh, what’re you guys doing here?"  The boy’s voice seems to raise a few octaves as the group walks towards him in confusion.  "Friday?  What’re they doing here?  I thought they were at the Compound!”

“Boss forgot to inform you that Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, and Natasha Romanoff are staying at the Tower for the week while the Compound is being fumigated,” Friday says easily, confusing the three Avengers further since only the Avengers, Tony, Pepper, and a few select individuals can use the AI.

“Oh,” Peter says, still tense.  If he weren’t so shocked at suddenly facing three of his heroes, Peter would have been talking their ears off by now.  The elevator doors open before anybody can say anything more.  Tony runs into the room, looking slightly panicked with his watch flashing red and blue, wide brown eyes flashing around.

“Peter, are you okay?  What’s wrong?  My watch is–” Tony stops, his eyes locked on the three Avengers as if he’s just noticed them.  He immediately walks over to Peter, squaring his shoulders as he hides his kid from view.  Peter tugs on the sleeve of his shirt, peeking out from behind his form in a decidedly childish fashion.

“Mr. Stark?” he questions, his eyes wide as his shock at suddenly facing the Avengers fade, excitement taking over him as he grabs onto his father figure’s shirt.  “Are those–What’re they–How–Oh, my God, is that Black Widow?  Why does Captain America have a beard?  Is that the Falcon?”  Tony purses his lips and sighs, moving to the side and wrapping his arm around Peter’s shoulders retain some form of protection over the kid.

“Yeah, kid,” Tony says.  “That’s Black Widow.  And I don’t know why Cap has a beard, and yes that’s the Falcon.  I forgot to tell you that they’ll be staying here for the week."  A few seconds of awkward silence with the slightly shocked Avengers staring at them.  "Grab your homework and head down to the lab.  I’ll be with you in a minute."  The four Avengers watch as the teenage boy shoulders his backpack, grabs his papers into a pile, and walks into the elevator, all the while staring at the group with wide eyes.  No one speaks until the doors close.

"Tony, what–?” Steve says, at a loss for words.

“You have a kid?” came Sam’s bewildered question.

“He seems sweet,” Natasha says, striding over to the couch and plopping herself down like nothing happened, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv.  Tony clenches his jaw.

“I don’t have a kid, Wilson,” he tells Sam, still tense.

“Then who was that?  Spider-Man?” Sam asks sarcastically, pointing a thumb at the elevator doors with a scoff.  He misses the way Tony’s face pales a little at the name before he crosses his arms over his chest.

“That was my intern,” Tony says steadily, defending himself and trying to cover up his reaction to Sam’s accusation.  “Now if you’ll excuse me," Tony shoulders his way between Sam and Steve, "I have a particularly excited kid to deal with.  See you later."  The elevator doors close behind him a few seconds later, leaving the group to stare at themselves for seconds.

"Who the hell was that?” Sam breaks the ice, waving off Steve’s how-dare-you-cuss-in-front-of-me look,

“I don’t know but did you see the way he reacted when you called the kid Spider-Man?” Nat asks as Steve take their seats in the living room.

“What, you don’t actually think…?” Steve asks, his eyes widening slightly.  “Oh, my God.  I dropped and airport terminal on a kid."  His guilt is soon overshadowed by his outrage at Tony.  "And Tony brought a kid to fight a war."  Steve runs his fingers through his hair.  I need a haircut, he thinks to himself as he stands up and paces around.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Steve,” Natasha says.  “We don’t even know if the kid is actually Spider-Man.”

“But you’re the one that brought up Stark’s reaction!” Sam cuts in, making Natasha glare at him.

“We’ll just talk to Tony about it the next time we see him,” Natasha says, making Steve and Sam nod.

Turns out, the next time they see Tony is the next morning when they’re getting breakfast.  He and the kid are laying on the couch, completely passed out with a random movie playing on the screen, bowls of popcorn strewn about.  Instead of waking up Stark, because they see how tired he’s been since their return, they begin making breakfast.  Not even a few seconds after setting the bacon on the frying pan, they hear a yawn.

They all look over from what they’re doing to see the kid, Peter they think Tony called him, rubbing his eyes and looking around tiredly.  After a few seconds, his eyes snap over to the Avengers.  The familiar colored eyes widen comically at the three of them cooking breakfast before he looks down at Tony, who’s still passed out by his side.  Peter’s relieved when his sudden action didn’t stir him.  Carefully, Peter removes himself from where he is curled under Tony’s arm, throwing the blanket back over the sleeping man.

He stands there awkwardly for a few moments, teetering back and forth on the balls of his feet as he looks at the three heroes.  “Hi,” he suddenly blurts out, ducking his head down as the sound gains the attention of the heroes and makes his cheeks turn pink.

“Hello,” Natasha says warmly, shocking Sam and Steve since she’s not open with people that she doesn’t know.  “Can you help me shred these potatoes?"  Peter scrambles over to her.

"Of course, Ms. Black Widow Natasha Romanoff ma'am!” Peter stutters out, plopping himself down on the chair and taking the shredder from Natasha.  She stands up to grab the extra cheese grater, sharing a glance with Steve and Sam.

“So, Peter,” Sam says, leaning against the counter as he mixes together the ingredients for pancakes.  “Yesterday Tony told us that you are his intern."  Peter just hums a little, his brows furrowed in concentration as he makes sure he doesn’t cut himself.  Sure, he can go through a whole night of patrol without getting a single scratch, but he’s not so confident about his cooking skills.

"I didn’t know that Tony takes interns,” Steve says, flipping over the bacon.  “How old are you, son?”

“S-seventeen,” Peter stutters out, his face reddening because Captain America is talking to him.  “I just turned seventeen a few weeks ago."  Steve feels his chest tighten a little at that.  That means that Peter was fifteen when they fought.

"When did you become an intern?” Natasha asks.  “You seem pretty young for an intern.”

Peter shrugs.  “About two years ago,” Peter says, sticking to the public story.  “I applied for an internship but didn’t expect to be chosen.  Mr. Stark showed up at my apartment and told me about how he wanted me as an intern despite all of the college student applicants.  He said something about how–”

“–you’re smarter than all of those other kids,” Tony says, making Peter jump and nearly slice his hand on the cheese grater.  Peter turns towards the man with wide eyes, looking like he was caught taking cookies out of the cookie jar.  “Yeah, kid, I’m awake.”

“Morning, Mr. Stark!” Peter chirps as the man pushes himself off the couch with a low groan.  Tony grimaces as he stretches, his back popping.

“Mornin’ kiddo,” Tony says, ruffling Peter’s curls.  He ignores the looks the three rogues send him.  Tony leans over Peter’s shoulder at the table.  “What’re you making.”

“Uh…” Peter says, looking at Natasha with a questioning look.

“Hashbrowns,” Natasha tells Tony, raising an eyebrow at him.  “Sam’s making pancakes and Steve’s making bacon."  Tony hums and walks over to the coffee pot, beginning to brew a new pot of coffee.  Peter finishes shredding the rest of the potatoes and places the cheese grater in the sink.

"Go wash your hands, Pete, and grab your backpack.  You didn’t finish your homework last night,” Tony says, not looking away from the dark colored liquid that gives him life.  Peter groans and wakes his way into the elevator, muttering under his breath about ‘stupid homework.’

It’s silent in the room for a few moments other than the cartoons on the tv and the sizzling of the bacon.  “So…” Steve says as Steve piles the rest of the bacon onto a plate.  “Is Peter yours?"  Tony sputters into his coffee, setting down his mug and hacking as the hot liquid runs down the wrong pipe.  He looks over at Sam with watering eyes while everyone looks at him in a mix of concern and amusement.

"What?” he croaks, clearing his throat.  “No.  No, of course not.  Guys, I would tell you if I had a son!"  Natasha just hums into her own cup of coffee, tilting an eyebrow at Tony.  Tony just rolls his eyes and groans.  "He’s not mine!”

“Biologically, maybe,” Sam says, flipping the pancakes.  Tony just glowers at him.

“Peter’s not my son,” Tony says sternly.

“But do you think of him as your son?” Natasha pushes.  Tony purses his lips and looks down at his mug, not saying anything.

“Yeah,” Tony says quietly.  Before anyone can react to that, the elevator doors ding open and Peter pops out, mouth running a mile a minute.

"Hey, Mr. Stark!  Do you think you can help me with my calculus homework?  There are some equations that I can’t figure out.  And then I have some chemistry that I think I may need help with, but–"  Tony just smiles down at his mug as Peter continues rambling on about his homework, tossing the bag in the living room and beginning to pick up the mess they left there last night.  The three Avengers exchange a glance.

So, yeah, Tony was hiding something.  He was hiding a son.

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Hiya babe it's doisy!! I thought prompt 42 would be just perfect for irondad and your drabble fic... Good luck ;)

Prompt 42: “Stop being so cute.”

Idk how I feel about this. It was just a keyboard smash and I really, really, really wanted to include an unimpressed May Parker. Enjoy…I guess?Bisexual Tin Can Man

“At the risk of sounding sexist, I really don’t think lavender is your color.”

Tony pops his head out from behind the fridge to come face to face with May, who is leaned against the lintel with her arms folded coolly over her chest. His head is swiftly followed by none other than Peter’s. The man’s expression is caught somewhere between amusement and embarrassment, while Peter’s is an unabashed and toothy grin. Both are sporting far too much flour on their noses and cheeks to hint at a casual baking accident.

“I get the feeling you’re jealous it looks better on me,” Tony retorts.

May shoots him an angelic smile that he absolutely does not trust. It’s times like this that he can see the uncanny family resemblance between her and the kid. “Oh, on the contrary, you wear it like couture. But if you get one fleck of egg yolk on my favorite apron, I swear to God–”

“Don’t worry, May,” Peter pipes up traitorously. “He was super careful with your apron. So careful, actually, that he wiped his eggy hands on my hair instead–”

Tony rounds on him with a murderous glare. “Watch yourself, Underoos. It’s still in there. I could easily fry an omelette on your head with a blast of my gauntlet.”

“All murders will take place strictly off premises,” May interjects. “We need our deposit back on the apartment, Tony.”

Peter takes advantage of Tony’s speechlessness and the ensuing lull in the conversation to hop off the counter (when did he get up there? May shakes her head at him in fond exasperation) and drop a kiss on May’s cheek. “How was work?”

“Boring. Lots of sick people. Patients who wouldn’t stay in bed. The usual.”

Tony wags a brow at her. “Makes me wonder why you even go out to take care of them when you’ve got a perfect patient right here.” He points in Peter’s direction with his wooden spoon.

“Somebody’s gotta pay me so I get to come home and take care of this one for free from the bottomless love of my heart.” May wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulders and resists the urge to give him a noogie. “So. Anybody gonna explain to me why we’ve got a flour war going on here? And more importantly, why Tony Stark is standing in my kitchen with a bain-marie?”

“Betty was supposed to be heading the bake sale for decathlon, but she broke her ankle two days ago. I mentioned it to Mr. Stark and he just showed up with bags of baking supplies.”

“Oh, c’mon, kid, you practically forced my arm,” Tony scoffs defensively. “May, he makes it sound like I volunteered for Betty Crocker’s job.”

“I can see nobody forced you to wear that apron,” says May.

Peter holds up four fingers in her line of vision. “Four bags,” he mouths at her with a solemn nod.

“Fine,” Tony huffs. “But I’m not taking any credit for your idea to decorate the cookies with Iron Man masks.”

“Mr. Stark. You wanted to put Spider-Man faces on them.”

“And why not? He’s a local hero. Betty would be proud.”

“Betty,” says Peter petulantly, ��would think I have a crush on Spider-Man.”

Tony narrows his eyes at him. “Well, do you, Peter? Do you have a crush on Spider-Man?”

“This is–this is ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re both ridiculous,” May cuts in. “Also, something’s burning.”

Tony lets a colorful string of words and turns back to the stove to scrub at the smoking chocolate with his spoon. Peter flies to his side to turn down the flame.

“Christ on a bicycle, kid. What happened to those super nostrils? Why didn’t you warn me?”

Peter rolls his eyes. “You’re in our apartment, Mr. Stark. Something’s always burning here.”

“Hey!” May cuffs him lightly on the back of his head, with little heat behind the gesture. She shoos her nephew away from the stove with a hand. “Honey, there’s a red towel in the linen closet, could you get it for me?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“And the stove cleaner from under the sink!”

Peter salutes at her as he walks backward down the hall. “Yes, ma'am!”

“Stop being so cute,” Tony grumbles.

Peter lays a hand dramatically over his chest. “You–you think I’m cute?”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Yes. Now stop it.”

Another salute and a cheeky grin. “Yes, sir.”

May lowers her voice conspiratorially. “Knowing him, he’s just over the moon because he must’ve sneaked a photo of you in that apron.”

“Oh, dear,” Tony deadpans. “I fear the wrath of Instagram. Whatever will I do with my precious reputation as a flaming bisexual tin can man?”

Both adults start at Peter’s shrill holler from the direction of the bathroom. “Forget the Iron Man masks, I’m decorating the cookies with Bisexual Tin Can Man!”

“Oh, so now you have super hearing?!”

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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW

THIS IS A TRUMPET

THIS IS A TROMBONE

THIS IS A TUBA

AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

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Kisses and Coffee. Prompt: Morning Kisses

Tony woke and immediately found himself staring straight into a pair of beautiful gray eyes. Tony stopped himself from jumping in surprise, and quickly realised the owner of the eyes was none other than his partner, Stephen Strange. Tony sat up in his bed and swung his legs off the side so he was fully facing Stephen.

“How long have you been there?” Tony asked, genuinely curious as well as a little bit miffed at the possibility that Stephen had just been sitting there without so much as a hug when he got back.

“Not long, I just got back from Kamar-Taj about fifteen minutes ago.” Stephen said as he leaned in in an attempt to give his drowsy boyfriend an affectionate kiss, but was disappointed when Tony shoved his hand in his face.

“No morning kisses for bad boyfriends who don’t wake me up when they get back from their magical Hogwarts missions. The council will be waiting for your argument on the matter.” Tony said grumpily.

“I’m guessing that you are the council that will be deciding my sentence?”

Tony gave an unintelligible grunt that vaguely resembled affirmation to Stephen’s inquiry.

“The defendant would like to ask for leniency regarding the matter, as the defendant found the accusing party to simply be too adorable while sleeping to wake him up. The defendant would also like to explain to the council that the accusing party really does need to get more sleep than he does.” Stephen replied, going along with Tony’s setting.

“The council will take the defendant’s words into consideration.”

Stephen waited for a moment before asking Tony “Has the council decided on the proper penalty for the defendant’s case?”

“The council has unanimously decided that the penalties for the defendant’s actions will include making a cup of coffee for the accusing party and one hug.”

“Both can be arranged. Which would you like first?”

“Coffee.” Tony replied gruffly, still a bit groggy and grumpy. He then softly added “Please.” Stephen got up to make a mug of coffee for the both of them, and upon his return the pair shared a hug, and then a kiss tasting strongly of coffee.

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Howdy-hoo @ironstrangehaven ! This work takes the prompt “Morning Kisses”! I hope you enjoy reading it, and my apologies if I messed up on any wording or whatever. Have a good day!

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You guys… this Ironstrange video needs more love.

Listen, I know you may look at this and be like “Wait, a Sherlock crossover?? That’s uh…”

But no, watch the whole thing because you’ll understand why they used it, and the music? And the editing? This is maybe the prettiest and most romantic Ironstrange video I’ve seen.

It’s also the only video I know that visually shows the popular “Strange falls for Tony during those 14 million time loops” fanfic trope, as well as a new trope I didnt even know I needed. Seeing that with my actual eyeballs is worth it, but I just love the whole thing.

It also manages to contextualualize Strange’s final action with even more tragedy, if you can believe it.

Seriously I can’t even watch it without tearing by the end. Gorgeous.

Im makng this song my ringtone.

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I’m with Tony on this, what kind of cult (and how do I join it?)

Peter, after sneezing and biting his tongue: Ah I bit my tongue, all hail the watcher I guess

Shuri: Yeah, I feel you. I dropped my pencil after saying that was all bs but then the lead broke, so all hail the watcher.

Tony, horrified: what kind of cult—

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Did anyone say, MULTIVERSE?

Also known as the one time I was able to find an excuse to draw my fave spiderpeople (some of them) AND make some John Mulaney jokes.

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One of the reasons our fandom is so awesome <3

I have noticed this to be common throughout the fandom. 

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Emil drinks dumb bitch juice every morning.

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But you know, we can’t send Jon Henrik Fjällgren now thanks to Norway, because everyone will think we’re just copying them and give us zero points! Better to just copy ourselves instead, that way at least the juries like us!

The best thing about last night was Norway snatching Sweden’s top 5 finish so now maybe Sweden will actually send Jon Henrik Fjallgren