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Vouching for people

I'm going to link a similar post to this in my pinned, but I want to put this on my timeline first as well. Anyway, this one has a simple message and it is this:

If someone you are talking to says that I have vouched for them as safe/ethical, ASK ME whether I have before you take them at their word.

I will reply and if I do not do so immediately, do not just take them at their word. I will try to get to that quickly, and honestly I'm a pretty approachable human. Also, the idea of people trading on my name/rep is something that offends me deeply so I don't want people to do it, even potentially. I want to close that door before it ever opens.

Anyway, yeah, if that ever happens that's what you do about it.

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Thank you for this blog! Probably been asked already - but any tips on giving head for the first time? Or using hands? Never been with a penis-owning partner and would appreciate tips!

Hello!

I’ve been with a few partners who have penises, so I’ll give personal advice!

1. Don’t push yourself too fast. Let yourself get used to the feeling, don’t feel like you need to rush for their enjoyment.

2. Only take as much as you’re comfortable with. If you feel good deep throating, go for it! But don’t feel pressured into that.

3. Use your tongue! Even when moving your head up and down, flick your tongue on their tip and along their shaft.

4. Don’t suck too much. You can fully suck sometimes, but it can become painful and overstimulating if it’s done too much or too harshly.

5. Listen to your partner! Have them tell you what they like before and during the act. Communication is key!!

When it comes to hands, I will also speak from personal experience.

1. Use some form of lube. Dry skin on dry skin can be painful. Lube or spit works!

2. Adjust your grip. Some people like a tighter grip while some prefer looser.

3. Adjust your speed. What feels good is different for everyone.

4. Tease the tip with your fingers. The tip is the most sensitive part usually, so give it a little more attention.

5. Use your free hand to roam their body. Nipples, thighs, tummy, whatever they like :)

Hope this helps!! Thanks for the ask!!

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OK so I have found out since this that there are a LOT of birth control side effects to be wary of.

Here’s a link to a website which goes into more detail. PLEASE EVERYONE DO THEIR RESEARCH

We have abstinence talks at school and the speaker said that birth control is harmful and that some injection types even weaken people’s bones

Is that true?

The most common side effects are spotting or bleeding between periods (this is more common with progestin-only pills), sore breasts, nausea, or headaches. But these usually go away after 2 or 3 months, and they don't happen to everyone who takes the pill. Birth control shouldn't make you feel sick or uncomfortable.

Pill ingested birth control should have no effect on your bones. However, injected birth control has been seen to lower your bone density. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If you think you might have sex, and you don’t want kids yet, I encourage the usage of birth control. As long as it is cleared by your doctor though!

Hope this helped. If you have any more questions, don’t be scared to send an ask!

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An erection does NOT equal consent

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girlbulge is such a choice look i really wish it was more normalized

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Shit No One Told Me About My Period

I knew the basics before I got it, but I had no clue…

* The blood wouldn’t necessarily be red. When I first got my period, I spent a few min looking at my underwear wondering how I shit myself. I didn’t know the blood could look brown, or be thick.

* That tampons weren’t a good idea yet. I was 10 or 11 when I got my first period and physically smaller than an adult woman. My first attempt at inserting a tampon was very painful and unsuccessful. I wouldn’t use them until I was around 14 or so.

* That when you use pads the blood can get on your bottom and I’d have to occasionally clean off the toilet seat after using it.

* That getting your first period DOES NOT mean you’re fully developed and fully able to bear children. I could have technically gotten pregnant at that age, but I was still a child and pregnancy would have put my life in danger because I was still physically immature.

* That it wouldn’t be regular for another few years.

* That very painful cramping is NOT NORMAL once you reach your 20s and is cause for concern.

* That the blood and tissue you pass can look chunky or stringy and not like blood from a cut.

* That stress can halt your period for months BUT

* That doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant

Feel free to add your own

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So quick contextual info. I'm MtF (AMAB) and have gender dysphoria



Ok. Here it goes

How can I masterubate without feeling dysphoric and awful after.

More info sorry if it's TMI

When I do this I generally use hands and imagine I'm AFAB to alleviate discomfort. I watch or listen to smutt targeted at female listeners/watchers

Yet I'm still dysphoric afterwards , like somehow I'm less of a woman for enjoying penile masterubation.

Like somehow the fact I am able to get off means I'm not dysphoric enough or even that somehow I would regret transition even though I almost certainly wouldn't.

Again sorry if this is gross or weird I just want to know if you have any suggestions to alleviate this.

This is not gross at all! In fact, if you don't mind me bringing up personal experience, my partner is a trans woman who struggles with similar issues.

Some of the things we've found to help are changing what we call the penis. We call it her clit, since the clit and penis are very similar when it comes to sexual sensitivity.

We also partake more in anal penetration and either call it a vagina or just say we're doing anal.

There's also a lot of nsfw media specifically made for trans women, if you know where to look for it! It can be difficult to find legitimate and well meaning nsfw content for trans women outside of the sexualization of trans women, but it is there!

I hope this helped a bit! Let me know if you want or need anything else!

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Any advice to overcome fears of touching or getting intimate ? I am ace and I am not necessarily sex repulsed but I am really scared of it and I used to get tense a lot whenever I did more intimate contact with my partner (never actually had sex).

Like my whole body would just freeze and we would stop when I'd get too uncomfortable (it was very fine).

I'm just scared that since I'm not with them anymore that if I meet a new person I'll just get tense again even for simple physical contact and they'll leave me. (Even scared they'll leave me simply because I'm ace lol)

This is so tough, I'm so sorry :(

As a member of the LGBTQ+ Community, you should NOT feel guilty for your sexuality or your boundaries. If someone leaves you because of that, they were not meant to be in your life and you deserve so much better.

Alongside asexuality, it sounds like you might have sensory issues when it come to being touched. This is often referred to as tactile sensitivity, and I suggest looking into it! Certain fabrics might feel uncomfortable to you as well, being touched or cuddled can be terrifying, and clothes might feel constricting.

I don't think I have advice to "get over" your fear of being touched, because it's not something you should be ashamed of. Sometimes, people have quirks that they just need to learn to live with.

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Okay so question!!!

Question?

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I'm a girl and I'm having trouble figuring out masturbation. I'm kinda nervous, I'm asexual, and I came from a religious home, so I'm really nervous about poking around without knowing what I'm doing. What are some techniques for girls that is quick and not too messy?

What a great question!

I do want to say first off, that you should not have to feel pressured to masturbate if you don't want to, especially if you're asexual and it makes you uncomfortable. But, if it is something you're interested in, I have a few tips!

First, plain and simple, using your fingers when you're alone. You can do this in bed, but if you're worried about mess, try experimenting while on the toilet! That way you have something to catch any leakage and toilet paper nearby.

Using a shower head is also useful for avoiding mess. Aim the water near where you want to stimulate and experiment with what feels good.

Another way is using toilet paper! Do a wiping motion like after you pee, but just keep gently wiping as a stimulant.

I hope this was helpful! Feel free to send in more asks if you need to!

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So it seems that whenever I hear people talk about their own clits, they make it sound like it's an extremely sensitive place (which I do know why, with the crazy amount of nerve endings in there), but I always noticed how my own clit feels... numb? I dunno, i have the clitoris orgasms, but it mostly feels like empty rubbing until it suddenly builds and orgasms. I tried experimenting with different sensations, but it still feels the same. Is this normal? Are there any stimulating experiments you can recommend I try with my clit to see if I might feel something more?

Great questions!

Reminder that everybody's bodies are different, and your experiences aren't wrong because they aren't what most people experience. Also remember that I am not a doctor, and you should not take any of this as professional medical advice.

It's very possible that you just have a less sensitive clit than others, but there could be other reasons for it as well, such as clitoral atrophy.

Clitoral atrophy is when the clit shrinks and/or loses sensation. This can be caused from lack of sexual arousal or stimulation, lack of blood flow, or hormonal changes. Other more extreme causes can be menopause or a hysterectomy.

One of the most popular treatments for this is massaging your clit regularly to get blood flowing, which sounds like what you're describing! If you don't feel anything until awhile after starting to rub, it may just be taking your body a bit to get blood flowing.

Some other treatments are using sexual stimulants like special lube or pills, doing cardiovascular exercise to get the blood flowing, and taking estrogen to encourage sensation.

If this becomes a bigger issue, such as starting to cause pain, please see a doctor immediately!

Thanks so much for the question, and if you need to ask anything else, don't be scared to send an ask in!

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Hi! I was wondering if you could talk some about discharge?

Of course!

I assume you mean vaginal discharge, so I will talk about that.

Vaginal discharge, from what I've seen, is one of the most stigmatized parts of the vagina. It's often said that if someone has too much discharge or if the discharge has a strong smell, it means they're unclean or unhealthy. That is not true! I will go through the different kinds of discharge that afab people can experience and what they mean :)

White — Thick, white discharge is common at the beginning and end of your period cycle. Normal white discharge is not accompanied by itching. If itching is present, thick white discharge may indicate a yeast infection.

Clear and stretchy — This is “fertile” mucous and means you’re ovulating.

Clear and watery — This occurs at different times of your cycle and can be particularly heavy after exercising.

Yellow or green — May indicate an infection, especially if it’s thick or clumpy like cottage cheese or has a foul odor.

Brown — May happen right after periods as your body is “cleaning out” your vagina. Old blood looks brown.

Spotting blood — This may occur mid-cycle or when ovulating. Sometimes early in pregnancy you may have spotting or a brownish discharge at the time your period would normally come.

I hope this helped! Let me know if there's something you're still confused about or I didn't cover!

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A lot of guys i know are really into fisting and i have never understood why they like it or even how fisting is supposed to work

Esp anal fisting like a lot of guys i know have a strong affinity for that and it seems to me like it would hurt

So i guess what im asking is

How the does fisting work and what makes it so appealing?

It's a bit complicated, but basically-

Vaginal fisting and anal fisting are very different experiences, but have the same basic principle. The short answer is that the act of fisting is putting your whole hand inside someone's vagina or anus.

The preparation contains a LOT of stretching and it can be a very long process. Some people's bodies adjust better to having some shoved up there than others, so it's different for everyone. It's always good to go slow and risk boredom than go fast and risk injury and pain.

For Vaginal fisting, the goal is usually to reach the G-spot at the back and fondle it however the person wants it to be fondled. Some people prefer massaging, others tickling, and others pushing down on it. However, some people also just enjoy the sensation of being filled up without the G-spot being the goal.

Anal fisting is similar, except for the aim is usually the prostate and it can take a lot more time to properly stretch out. The human anus is not designed to be as flexible as a vagina, and it also doesn't naturally lubricate itself. Lots of patience, lube, and communication is required for this.

The best way I can describe the sensation is similar to a penis, dildo, or other phallic objects being put in there, but there's more control and flexibility in what you can do with fingers.

Hope this helped! If there's anything I didn't cover or you want more clarification on, don't be scared to send another ask!

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here’s a little comparison for people who say engagement hasn’t gotten that bad and anyone who complains is ungrateful.

these are two posts from my first go round on tumblr circa 2014-2017, my most popular gifset of all time

& a text post

notice how the ratio is about even on likes to reblogs?

here’s from this go around, my most popular gifset

and my most popular fic

do you see how that’s discouraging?

i love being on this site. i love the little community i’ve found and the people who follow me and the mutuals i’ve made friendships with and the mutuals that i’m still getting to know. i love it. but at a certain point it’s hard to justify spending so much time on works that get bad engagement.

reblog, comment, send asks. without them, this site doesn’t work.

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People without periods: I don’t understand, it’s just a little pain? What’s the big deal?

Me, on my period: having cramps while having diarrhea while having headaches while having nausea while having shivers while having skin breakout while having insomnia while having mood swings while having severe disassociation

Me:

Me: no yeah I understand, I should just suck it up :,)

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‪pro-whatever the fuck women wanna do with their bodies ‬