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Henry VIII: Have I ever let you down?

Literally everyone on earth: Dozens of examples spring to mind

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Elizabeth I: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Mary?

Mary I: No

Edward VI: I do

Elizabeth: I know, Edward

Edward: I’m sad

Elizabeth: I know, Edward

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Literally any of the Thomas’, Wolsey, More, Cromwell, take your pick: You’re that smart?

Henry VIII: Let me put it this way, have you heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Again, literally any of the Thomas’: Yes

Henry VIII: Morons

Whichever wife he’s on this week: [Internal screaming]

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George [Before listening to what he’s being accused of this week]: It wasn’t me!

George [Realising what he’s being accused of]: Oh wait...no that one, yeah that one was DEFINITELY on me, that’s my bad

George: I mean I don’t feel even remotely sorry about it, but still, yeah that was me oops haha

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George: It’s only treason if you get caught

Edward IV: That...that is not true?!

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Every time he speaks, I just hear ‘blah blah blah’

Mary I or Elizabeth I about their father, probably

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So one brother commits treason to my face consistently and the other does it once I’m dead? This is just fucking rude

Edward IV in the afterlife

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Can I just be Catholic in PEACE, thANK YOU

Mary I, during her brother’s reign

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Henry VIII: Things I want; a legitimate son, things I don’t have; a legitimate son

Mary I: YES WE KNOW

Elizabeth I: WE GET IT, WE JUST DON’T CARE

Henry Fitzroy: IT’S HARDLY MY FAULT

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Edward IV: What exactly do you want from me?!

George: Well your crown would be GREAT

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Henry VIII: I love all my children equally

Mary I: I call bullshit

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[Talking about Mary]

Bash: You like her

Francis: So what if I do

Bash: Go talk to her, tell her you think she’s pretty, what’s the worst that could happen

Francis: She could HEAR me

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[Executioner prepares to drown George in the wine]

Executioner: Are you ready to die?

George: Yeah, kinda

Executioner: ...

Executioner: Are you okay? Wanna talk about it?

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Elizabeth: Fuck!

Mary: Language!

Elizabeth: English!

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Henry VIII: [Punches some random courtier shitless for irritating him]

Henry VIII: Sorry, lost my cool there for a second

Mary I: You can’t lose what you don’t have

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Henry VIII: Here’s some money to buy things, what better proof I love you could there be than that?

Mary I: I mean actual genuine fatherly affection would also work but sure you do you I guess

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William: So, what’s it like being married to the King’s sister?

Charles: One time I asked her for a glass of water, she brought me a jug with ice in and said ‘wait’

William: ....

Charles: Granted I slept with one of her ladies-in-waiting the day before and she caught us, but still, harsh