rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

This is how I ended up with my name. Don't mind it none, but I have gotten a couple'o laughs about it.

the real problem with necromancy is all of these necromancers are pursuing immortality instead of dying so all the good necromancer names are taken for like centuries at a time. the other day i met a guy who called himself skull james

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

Oh hell no not these rascals.

Phrynus marginemaculatus babies have molted off their mother’s back and I counted 34 of them! That’s a lot for this species, usually they’re reported to have more like 10-25.

Here’s the eggsac and hatchlings, which only spend a week or so clinging to mom but may continue to cluster near her for several months.

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

"i like your tattoos" theyd look better on your bedroom floor

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

Do y'all do bone replacement? Mah left leg's been creakin' for some reason. I think it's gettin' a little old.

Things that ARE covered by your Wizard Insurance:

Top Surgery

Bottom Surgery

Witch Encounters (one per century)

Killed By Greg

Middle Surgery (✨ New! ✨)

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

AZT: Superior AZ to Oracle AZ plein airs. Bonus of high jinks ranch that I didnt get to scan because I gave it away:

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

Bit of a shame I have so many possession wards on my bones. Like to meet this feller.

the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

okay. which of you motherfuckers taught my vile little homunculus how to put on eyeliner

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

well, at least I got something relevant that was left after the dark ages

the real problem with necromancy is all of these necromancers are pursuing immortality instead of dying so all the good necromancer names are taken for like centuries at a time. the other day i met a guy who called himself skull james

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

wonder what I would look like with some extra bones...

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

Oh, that little slug.... I was in Sancisco when he made that little brew. Tried to rob my potion supplies before he realized I was a skeleton. And then he tried to take my femur! Perddy sure I saw I couple 'o souls flyin' outta his head before it regenerated. Curses on him. Think he lives in Beverly Hills now as the CEO of a pharmaceutical company.

TIL in 1915, San Diego hired a “rain maker” who used a secret mix of chemicals to “attract rain” for $10,000, payable if he filled their reservoir. It rained for most of January, destroying bridges, dams, and causing 20 deaths.

via reddit.com

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]

Well first ya gotta unholster 'em, grip the handle, and take it out smoothly. Then you'll be free to cast as many spells and bullets as you like.

[rattlin-tom-cowboy-necromancer]