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Theon in sealskin cause like symbolism

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and I play the little girl?

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one aspect of armand's villainy i am thinking circles around is the racism. the mock trial play was breathtaking in its horror, and armand, we learn, annotated that play. of course, why wouldn't he participate in breathtakingly violent race play. he was raised, turned, socialised and inducted into a violent cult in europe, has been a coven leader in paris for centuries and has shown extremely little capacity for thinking outside the boxes presented to him. no reason to expect any better.

louis and claudia, though, did expect better. louis felt freer to move through paris as a black man than he did in new orleans. claudia named armand literally as one reason to feel safe with the coven: a coven leader who's skin is darker than us! what's there to be scared of! she names this in specific.

and the thing about armand is he plays up his vulnerability frequently for manipulative effect. and there's some ambiguity, i think, on where truth ends and the bullshit begins. the spectrum of possible reaction is basically "oh he is a still-dissociated poor traumatised mew-mew perpetually stuck in sexually enslaved lost child mode who also is a monster" and "this is a 500 year old vampire who has led, controlled, steered and dominated his surroundings for centuries and every time he makes his little trauma face it's a manipulation tactic". like it can go either way. but his skin colour that put louis and claudia somewhat at ease, that allowed them to believe he would be better than lestat, is not a lie but a fact.

and so he didn't lie about this, this is an objective truth that claudia and louis observed. but it didn't make him safer than lestat. his dissociated fragmented traumatised colonised enslaved child mode of playing life maybe isn't a lie either, then, maybe. but it doesn't make him safer than lestat either. (and you know i personally really, really also wanted armand/louis to be a place of healing and all that and of course it extremely much wasn't. but the desire is understandable).

hard to phrase it well, but i feel that we can slide the armand interpretation all the way to: clearly a powerful, manipulative monster in control who clings to power and ritual and utterly lacks any capacity for change. what looks like his little cries for help are actually just him working the narrative for yet again keeping power and avoiding change. but then also a) his plight is real b) he seems to occasionally throw himself at the cracks of this narrow horrible world of his, trying to get out.

"my first memory: i'm being run down by slavers in delhi. my second: .... mhm. an eager black hole."

or maybe i'm making too much of this.

what are our thoughts about armand? he's the most interesting to me!

he's old. he grew up and was turned under horrific circumstances. abducted, enslaved, abused, taken in by his maker, who exploited him. whom he cherished for rescuing him even while he kept abusing him. unlike louis, or lestat, he had no independent human life, he only ever endured what was done onto him. "my history i endured". his maker dies, he is taken by the rome coven, who sends him to paris to take charge of the coven there. initiated into a cult to become a cult leader. first time ever he's in charge. he takes charge, but as an act of obedience. following violent rules. "the job i do not want".

fascinating role, because this job entails keeping control, maintaining discipline, with brutality, with ruthlessness, with violence. but this role is one of self-debasement. "living in squalor". "serving god through satan". and so armand does all this. he's autocratic, he's tyrannical... and he's entrapped, he's stuck, he was never free to choose. wants change but doesn't have the capacity to steer his own fate in any way. finds solace in ritual.

agents of change, the forceful, the wilful, briefly enter his life. he welcomes them. seduces them, even. lestat, to dismantle the cult, to transform the coven. louis, to relieve him of his coven leader duties. molloy, to end the edifices of lies he's entrapped louis in. he keeps himself in the role of done onto. he's scared. these men destroy what is so very dear to him. and here he is, overpowerful manipulator who is well-able to maintain strict autocratic control over centuries, all helpless doe-eyes. this is being done to me!

offloads the responsibility of destruction onto them. i think it's not even a matter of being a coward or suchlike. literally he has known only enslavement. he doesn't know how to free himself. i mean, yes it is cowardice, in a way, but it's also the desperation of someone latching onto a brief window of opportunity.

unlike lestat, louis, claudia, he doesn't rage, scream, emote, cry. "half blank half apocalyptic look". doesn't fight back.

he doesn't believe himself of any worth. his worth is how he can be of service to others. how he can be "loved" by others, when his experience of "love" is relentless abuse and being used as beautiful angel-demon. the only love language he knows is manipulation and control. this control can be sweet. he takes care. he serves. he enforces this service onto others. at all time, the longing for someone to free him from this but the need to keep control.

like this man does not know freedom, does not understand it. and yet he keeps seeking it, in these extremely convoluted ways. that's where he's moving, i think.

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Yorki Lee

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sorry still thinking.

so the ways in which he's a villain are not terribly exciting, because they are relatively obvious: he's abusive, he's manipulative, he plays the victim, he acts "small", he acts "servicing", he acts "helpless", all while carefully planning and doing monstrous things, all while enjoying cruelty, and he's kept louis our beloved protagonist in a prison of gaslighting/lies for decades.

what's more interesting then is his relationship to change. using lestat, louis, daniel as catalysts for changes. he could, in fact, just enact these changes himself, you'd think. he is powerful enough. but he doesn't. since he is so powerful, he could also thwart those that disrupt his order. kill lestat. kill louis from the getgo. defuse or kill molloy. if he's such a control freak who can't abide disorder. but he also doesn't. clearly he lets something happen. but it is not something he steers or orchestrates in full, because he simply, i think, lacks the ability to.

what keeps him entrapped at this point in his life is only himself. he plays up his vulnerability to manipulate others, all while his continued entrapment in not being able to shape his own life is real. otherwise, why would he need to use others so for this?

what are our thoughts about armand? he's the most interesting to me!

he's old. he grew up and was turned under horrific circumstances. abducted, enslaved, abused, taken in by his maker, who exploited him. whom he cherished for rescuing him even while he kept abusing him. unlike louis, or lestat, he had no independent human life, he only ever endured what was done onto him. "my history i endured". his maker dies, he is taken by the rome coven, who sends him to paris to take charge of the coven there. initiated into a cult to become a cult leader. first time ever he's in charge. he takes charge, but as an act of obedience. following violent rules. "the job i do not want".

fascinating role, because this job entails keeping control, maintaining discipline, with brutality, with ruthlessness, with violence. but this role is one of self-debasement. "living in squalor". "serving god through satan". and so armand does all this. he's autocratic, he's tyrannical... and he's entrapped, he's stuck, he was never free to choose. wants change but doesn't have the capacity to steer his own fate in any way. finds solace in ritual.

agents of change, the forceful, the wilful, briefly enter his life. he welcomes them. seduces them, even. lestat, to dismantle the cult, to transform the coven. louis, to relieve him of his coven leader duties. molloy, to end the edifices of lies he's entrapped louis in. he keeps himself in the role of done onto. he's scared. these men destroy what is so very dear to him. and here he is, overpowerful manipulator who is well-able to maintain strict autocratic control over centuries, all helpless doe-eyes. this is being done to me!

offloads the responsibility of destruction onto them. i think it's not even a matter of being a coward or suchlike. literally he has known only enslavement. he doesn't know how to free himself. i mean, yes it is cowardice, in a way, but it's also the desperation of someone latching onto a brief window of opportunity.

unlike lestat, louis, claudia, he doesn't rage, scream, emote, cry. "half blank half apocalyptic look". doesn't fight back.

he doesn't believe himself of any worth. his worth is how he can be of service to others. how he can be "loved" by others, when his experience of "love" is relentless abuse and being used as beautiful angel-demon. the only love language he knows is manipulation and control. this control can be sweet. he takes care. he serves. he enforces this service onto others. at all time, the longing for someone to free him from this but the need to keep control.

like this man does not know freedom, does not understand it. and yet he keeps seeking it, in these extremely convoluted ways. that's where he's moving, i think.

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Julia Soboleva (born in 1990).

The Absence of Light does not mean the Absence of Hope (2024)

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what are our thoughts about armand? he's the most interesting to me!

he's old. he grew up and was turned under horrific circumstances. abducted, enslaved, abused, taken in by his maker, who exploited him. whom he cherished for rescuing him even while he kept abusing him. unlike louis, or lestat, he had no independent human life, he only ever endured what was done onto him. "my history i endured". his maker dies, he is taken by the rome coven, who sends him to paris to take charge of the coven there. initiated into a cult to become a cult leader. first time ever he's in charge. he takes charge, but as an act of obedience. following violent rules. "the job i do not want".

fascinating role, because this job entails keeping control, maintaining discipline, with brutality, with ruthlessness, with violence. but this role is one of self-debasement. "living in squalor". "serving god through satan". and so armand does all this. he's autocratic, he's tyrannical... and he's entrapped, he's stuck, he was never free to choose. wants change but doesn't have the capacity to steer his own fate in any way. finds solace in ritual.

agents of change, the forceful, the wilful, briefly enter his life. he welcomes them. seduces them, even. lestat, to dismantle the cult, to transform the coven. louis, to relieve him of his coven leader duties. molloy, to end the edifices of lies he's entrapped louis in. he keeps himself in the role of done onto. he's scared. these men destroy what is so very dear to him. and here he is, overpowerful manipulator who is well-able to maintain strict autocratic control over centuries, all helpless doe-eyes. this is being done to me!

offloads the responsibility of destruction onto them. i think it's not even a matter of being a coward or suchlike. literally he has known only enslavement. he doesn't know how to free himself. i mean, yes it is cowardice, in a way, but it's also the desperation of someone latching onto a brief window of opportunity.

unlike lestat, louis, claudia, he doesn't rage, scream, emote, cry. "half blank half apocalyptic look". doesn't fight back.

he doesn't believe himself of any worth. his worth is how he can be of service to others. how he can be "loved" by others, when his experience of "love" is relentless abuse and being used as beautiful angel-demon. the only love language he knows is manipulation and control. this control can be sweet. he takes care. he serves. he enforces this service onto others. at all time, the longing for someone to free him from this but the need to keep control.

like this man does not know freedom, does not understand it. and yet he keeps seeking it, in these extremely convoluted ways. that's where he's moving, i think.

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Louis: What about a selection of Fred Stein's, tastefully framed? [...] Or better not have such a tangible a reminder of Paris up on our walls? Armand: An interview about Paris is a more tangible reminder of Paris than a few photographs.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | S02E06 // S02E08

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“Shepherdess with white bears” (1918) by Zofia Plewińska-Smidowiczowa (Polish;1888 - 1944), tempera/canvas mounted on paperboard

Desa Unicum

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Hverfjall Crater by Lake Myvatn | Iceland

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Jewel Ham - Didn't I tell you, 2021

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JOSS HILLIARD

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It's a title that he has given himself, or has been given to him, but he's never felt it. I don't think he's ever really wanted it or I don't think it gives him happiness. He would much rather have a maître in Louis and I think that goes back to his other previous partners […] or people that he's had in his life. But here that’s his cloak, that's his kind of mask. [At the] end of episode four [Louis] calls him Arun for the first time and for Armand in that moment that’s Louis seeing Armand for the child that he is, for the innocent that he is, and that’s what makes Armand melt […] That’s a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to do this alone because he’s been doing this alone for so long, maintaining power, maintaining structure, maintaining the coven, and now Louis [has] said with that phrase, I can share that burden with you, even better I can take it from you, I can hold it. There are the sexual dynamics in that as well, and that’s the submissive elements to it. It’s protection and I feel that he kind of sees Louis as his protector, but it’s difficult because he wants to give that control but wants to also control Louis [...] but you can’t have both and that’s his downfall. | Assad Zaman

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can you expand on rhaenyra's maladaptive relationships

re: this post

Sure! So this is book canon obviously, but Rhaenyra as a child is described as precocious, bright, appropriately socialized, and we see that she's able to adapt to life after her mother who doted on her passed away (excited about a tourney, being involved in her father's second marriage celebrations). She does well at her job as a cupbearer. All good and normal development.

A few years following Viserys I's marriage to Alicent Hightower, we find that she has become intensely attached to Criston Cole (only had eyes for him) despite being mocked for it by Alicent and having other suitors. She grows up in a court where grown noblefolk whisper against her claim & she knows it. Dresses dramatically to make a statement due to the breakdown in communication between her and Alicent/Viserys, she's also seemingly unable to bond with her siblings. When Daemon returns to King's Landing, Rhaenyra is adamant that he stay, and whatever happened between them it's clear that she at least strongly attached herself to him. This is all intense stuff, her all or nothing attitude to relationships, & the result of growing up in a less than united home where her place was uncertain.

I wouldn't call Rhaenyra's triangle with Laenor & Harwin maladaptive today, but for the time period it is a bit of malicious compliance. Viserys orders her to get married, claim her seat on Dragonstone, and multiply? No problem *has 3 kids with Harwin* (best boys in the world btw). Harwin is at least somewhat emotionally entangled there, rumored to be by her side in the birthing chambers and spending his time at her keep despite being heir to Harrenhal, but Rhaenyra's feelings for him are conspicuously absent. So was it love? A bit of a fuck you? A nervous latching onto Harwin? Maybe some of each.

Rhaenyra does have nervous ticks & anxiety as well, ofc.

Her bodice often glittered with pearls and diamonds, and there were always rings on her fingers. Whenever she was anxious, she would turn them compulsively, round and round. Though Rhaenyra could be charming, she was quick to anger and never forgot a slight. --SSM

Anxiety, anger issues, basically maladaptive behaviors that indicate all the uncertainty of her position in the realm & in her family taking a toll on her.

Daemon is obviously the most intense relationship of them all; even after claiming Dragonstone Rhaenyra always kept him close and Laena dies it's implied they fall into bed with each other very fast. Part of a pattern where Rhaenyra never stays single long (in general periods when people go through romantic/sexual partners in rapid succession aren't during the most stable moments in their lives). A fear of being alone doesn't mean she doesn't love her partners but it presents a question mark

Daemon is a combination of everything--her family like Viserys, her husband like Laenor, her lover like Harwin, their shared grief over Laena. This is a headcanon but I think Daemon knows all that & that Rhaenyra and Daemon had a push-pull thing with control. Rhaenyra sending Daemon to kill Vaemond Velaryon. Daemon sleeping with Mysaria under her nose. Rhaenyra saying it's fine cause she's busy ruling. Daemon taking vengeance for Lucerys into his own hands in a very... flashy manner. Rhaenyra summoning him whenever she had a need. She did that back-and-forth before with Viserys as well, considering that Viserys was constantly giving her & Alicent gifts/honors etc to appease them, as proof of his love.

King Viserys loved both his wife and daughter, and hated conflict and contention. He strove all his days to keep the peace between his women, and to please both with gifts and gold and honors. --F&B: Heirs of the Dragon

There's a lot said about her stress-eating once she takes the throne, isolating herself in the Red Keep, having her children at her side 24/7 after losing several sons, her sudden flip in trust in the dragonseeds when Mysaria advises her to and is once of the only councilors left to her (which probably led Rhaenyra to placing more trust in her that she should have). In case I haven't stressed it enough, Rhaenyra doesn't do well alone! She relies on her supporters because she learned to at a young age, is hypersensitive to the thought of losing them, and has explosive reactions to betrayal.

It's not that any of these things are 'unreasonable,' it's just that they're all learned behaviors that are not random nor do they arise for no reason. Rhaenyra is a survivor, with all that implies. Her story very much reflects that.

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Loiseleuria procumbens

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… | uwhe-arts

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Bonfires on the Heath (2023) oil & acrylic on linen Instagram:@ suhaylah.h Shop: suhaylah.bigcartel.com Patreon: patreon.com/suhaylah_h