randomenglishmajor

[randomenglishmajor]

Depression doesn't want to let me write on the main story. So here's the beginning of a collection of snapshots, to hopefully keep me writing and not languishing in writer's block hell.

[randomenglishmajor]

After almost seven years, I finally added onto my first tattoo (the word warrior). I had gotten the original in grad school as a reminder to keep fighting. Depression still sucks, but I'm still kicking and trying to have a life that doesn't revolve around me and my navel gazing.

Appropriately nerdy pictures that also have spiritual significance for me, with words to help me think about how I interact with people.

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Danny in a trench coat and sunglasses: Psshhh, hey, kid Damian: Yes? Danny: Do you want to buy some candy? Damian, gripping a knife behind his back: Sure Danny opening trench coat: Okay, I have chocolate clusters, gummy bears covered in candy rocks, and spicy taffy. Damian: Oh, you meant real candy. Danny: Of course. Why else would you be standing in an alley with a trench coat? Damian: Are you not hearing yourself right now? Danny: I actually heard it. But I have to do it this way. See, I'm hiding from- Jason: THERE YOU ARE! Danny: Leave me alone! I told you I ran out of mini-donuts! Jason: YOU LIE Damian watching his brother chase a street vendor down the road: This is a good mental simulation for him. He needs this.

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Duke hates that he's thrust into the spotlight so he'll manipulate the light around him to not appear in photos, accidentally confirming the conspiracy theory that the Waynes are vampires

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We survived the storms! And I am ecstatic to find this adorable picture. The astronaut teddy bear is so cute, and I just want to cuddle LBM until he feels better.

There are some nasty storms coming to the midwest US tomorrow (03/15) - be sure to have a safe place to shelter in the event of a tornado, and stay weather aware, everyone! <3

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Dick Tim Damian and Jason getting carried away during an all out sibling argument that breaks out during a public gala and they forget they have an audience to the point where Damian starts spitting his ‘i am the blood son of Bruce Wayne you have nothing on me you imbeciles’ and without thinking Jason responds with ‘yeah you’re the son of Brucie Wayne all right but you forget I’m the son of fucking BATMAN and i have been since before you were even fucking PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE’

Damian: I AM THE BLOOD CHILD OF BRUCE WAYNE YOU PATHETIC CREATURE

Jason, fully about to fist fight his little brother in front of these shrimp platters: AND I’M THE SON OF BATMAN, WHILE YOU WERE TAUGHT HOW TO SIP CHAMPAGNE AND FALL INTO FOUNTAINS I WAS TAUGHT HOW TO THROW HANDS NOW FUCKING SQUARE UP CHILD

Dick, eyeing the now silent ballroom: uh, guys-

Tim, vibrating with excitement at the prospect of watching Damian get a ceramic plate to the face: don’t you fucking dare stop them

lacking context, Gotham is now under the impression that Jason Todd was not, in fact, a random street kid taken under Bruce’s wing, and is rather the biological son of Batman, who for some reason got his good friend Bruce Wayne to become the kid’s guardian, presumably to protect him from the life of crime he is leading. it also fuels the ‘Bruce Wayne is dating Batman’ rumours an almost impossible amount.

Another unforeseen consequence is that since it is common knowledge that the batkid vigilantes are most likely Batman’s children too, civilian Jason Todd is now considered to be the adopted brother of Tim, Damian, and Dick, and the biological brother of Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin.

Jason is asked who his favourite sibling is.

‘ok they all suck apart from Hood. he’s such a nice man. used to take me ice skating.’

the family hate him.

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Bruce secretly went back to med school and just never told anyone. He didn’t see the point, it’s lot like he’s an active doctor. But he does have the qualifications

After Tim took over most of the CEO duties for Wayne Industries, Bruce had a lot of free time during the day. A few public appearances once or twice each week and doing his Batman duties just wasn’t enough to keep him entertained

His brain moves a million miles a minute. He could snoop around and see if his kids needed any help on some of their cases, but he really doesn’t need them pissed off at him

So, why not go back to school? Boom, easy as pie. Go to classes during the day, study in the afternoons. Before he knew it, his diploma had arrived in the mail

He contemplated taking a picture of it and posting it on a social media app, but eh. Would anyone even care?

Anytime his kids make a joke about him being a college drop out or Alfred makes a snide comment about not finishing school, Bruce fantasizes about showing them his degree and seeing the embarrassment on their faces

But he doesn’t, cause it honestly doesn’t matter that much to him. School has always and will always be easy for him. He just didn’t have the drive or will to complete it the first time around

It makes it easier to help out his boys when they get injured on patrol. If Alfred’s preoccupied without another person or maybe just not there at all, Bruce can handle it easily

It’s not like he couldn’t before, obviously, he’s Batman. He was perfectly medically trained before he got his degree, now it’s legal. That’s the only thing that’s changed

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[randomenglishmajor]

just some of the the changes in design for the Penguin Symbol on old Penguin Paperbacks 

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Bruce is going punch Lucius Malfoy Idk when or where i just know it will happen because BatDad is going protect his Birds.

I got the idea because as one does i was spinning in circles and made an au in my head of my au where Bruce goes to Hogwarts to have a parent teacher meeting with Snape McGonagall and Dumbledore with the Malfoys because His kids got into a fight with Draco and Lucius was a bitch about it and called Bruce a pathetic muggle and insulted/threated his kids so Bruce beat the shit out of him.

So i think it would be fun. because the bat is always ready to beat someone. The teachers realize where the boys get their anger from.

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These are so funny and cute.

stress relief batblob doodles

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thinkin about a baby of my acquaintance & how when her parents are hanging out & chatting, she’ll almost fully participate in the conversation–politely watching who’s talking, saying something approx the same length & tone of what her parents are saying, occasionally using a questioning cadence & looking at someone specific for an answer, laughing when they laugh–doing everything except actually using any recognizable language

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One of the most important things I’ve learned as a Real Adult™ is the importance of a job half done. 

Today I did a load of dishes, wiped off my stove, and swept the kitchen floor. Did I do the best job, or finish every dish? No! My stove still has that caked on caramel that I need to bust out an SOS pad to take care of, one of our big pots is still sitting in the sink, and somehow a kitty kibble unearthed itself while I was wiping down the stove (?? how??).. but the kitchen looks a LOT better. It’s once again an inhabitable, usable space.

Parents, bosses, teachers, even my own self, harp upon absolute perfect completion of a task as the be all and end all of a job well done, but god damn, my kitchen isn’t terrible because I took the time to improve it. Little steps, especially when you’re struggling, are important. They mean a LOT. They are a sign that you won, if only in that brief moment, and they make getting all the other stuff done so much easier later on down the road. 

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Talia: *attempting to calm a newly conscious Jason Todd* I am sure this must come as a shock to you, child, but it’s been three years since- Jason: *jolting up in bed, scaring the shit out of five watching assassins* FUCK, MY FICS HAVE GONE UN-UPDATED FOR THREE YEARS? Talia: Jason: I PROMISED MY SUBSCRIBERS— Ra’s: *leaning over to Talia* what is a . . “Fic”? Talia: *shrugs*

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THERE WAS A BAT IN MY HOUSE. A BAT. WHAT THE WHAT.

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Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.