randombubblethoughts
I am not always who you think I am
13 posts
I have created this blog as a reminder of God's faithfulness in my life. This will serve as my online diary whenever unpleasant thoughts come and haunt me at night. I will be accountable to whoever would come across this private blog, hoping that you too would be reminded of God's love for you. I will be very transparent and honest here, so I hope that my words will not stumble you. I assure you that I will do my best to wake up the next day feeling better. I will work on the things that I am struggling with and if you are like me who is also struggling with mental health issues, know that I am fighting with you and above all, God is with you. You are loved and you are never alone. Let's fight our demons together! Fighting!~
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
randombubblethoughts ยท 1 year ago
Text
Christmas Gifts
As Christmas draws near, the pressure to give can sometimes weigh heavily on our hearts. In these moments, I want you to know that ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™š๐™–๐™จ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š๐™™ ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ž๐™ฏ๐™š ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™œ๐™ž๐™›๐™ฉ๐™จ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™œ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™—๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ก๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™™๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™จ๐™๐™–๐™ง๐™š.
Christmas is about the warmth of connections, the joy of shared moments, and the love of God that binds us together.
If you find yourself feeling the pressure to give materially, remember that Jesus valued the sincerity of the heart over lavish offerings. ๐™ƒ๐™š ๐™จ๐™๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ช๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ข๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™จ๐™ž๐™œ๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™›๐™ž๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™œ๐™ž๐™›๐™ฉ๐™จ ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™ค๐™›๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™ž๐™—๐™ก๐™š โ€“ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ, ๐˜ข ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ต ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ.
May the joy of giving, inspired by the love of Christ, fill your heart with peace and purpose this holiday season.
With love and blessings,
๐•ญ โ™ก
Tumblr media
#christmas2023 #christianmotivation
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 1 year ago
Text
Grief and Joy
Christmas is just around the corner. For many, it is indeed '๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น ๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ'. Our hearts are often filled with unbridled joy and anticipation, and our houses echo with laughter and festive decorations.
Yet, amid this jubilation, there exists a parallel narrativeโ€”a silent, poignant reality experienced by those who carry the ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™› ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™จ ๐™™๐™ช๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™จ๐™š๐™–๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ. It serves as a reminder, a subtle echo of something or someone's absence in their life. A reminder of all the possible memories that they wish they could still share with each other, ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™ก๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š.
Our dear friend, if you find yourself in the shadows of this season, please know that ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™–๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š. There is One who understands the depth of your emotions like no one else could โ€” Our Savior, Jesus Christ. God, Himself, embraced the full spectrum of human feelings when He came down on earth 2000 years ago. He knows you intimately, and He sees the contours of your grief.
As Corrie Ten Boom says, "๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฃ๐™ค ๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ค ๐™™๐™š๐™š๐™ฅ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™‚๐™ค๐™™'๐™จ ๐™ก๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™™๐™š๐™š๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ง ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก"
Tumblr media
๐—๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ท๐—ผ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€. ๐—œ๐˜'๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ท๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฟ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ-๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ท๐—ผ๐˜† ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ. ๐—๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ, ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—›๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป.
This Christmas, may you navigate the depths of your emotions, embracing both the joyous and the painful, and find solace in the enduring hope found in Christ.
All love,
B
Tumblr media
#christianmotivation
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 1 year ago
Text
Almost Love
To my almost love,
You may not have known, but in the quiet moments between the beats of my heart, I discovered a profound affection for you. It's a sentiment that whispered your name in the shadows and sought solace in earnest prayers. You've become a fixture in my thoughts, and I've been lowkey holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same.
In the midst of our casual 'Hi's and 'Bye's, the world around us questioned the nature of our connection. Friends and acquaintances wondered if we were on the brink of something beautiful. Deep down, I wished for my answer to be a resounding "yes." But, guided by the principle of not assuming anything without hearing it from you, I hesitated.
Months passed, and the story unfolded with a silent eloquence. We continued our dance of greetings, and I, in turn, immersed myself in the service of God, hoping to divert my thoughts. Yet, a subtle flicker of hope remained, accompanied by an unsettling silence that seemed to echo the unspoken between us.
In this symphony of almost love, you ceased to look my way. And so, I found myself standing at a distance, watching, and holding onto my emotions. It was a delicate dance of admiration as you stood on that stage, fingers dancing on the guitar strings, offering a beautiful melody to God. I envisioned us side by side, sharing this sacred space of worship.
However, as the scene unfolded, the reality hit me. The picture I had painted in my mind didn't align with what was true. You, with your guitar, and she, standing beside you, singing her heart outโ€”a beautiful collaboration of souls dedicated to a higher purpose. At that moment, I understood that my almost love wasn't just mine to claim. The realization dawned, and I made a conscious choice to stop looking.
This letter is not just a reflection; it's an acknowledgment of the beauty that exists in what could have been and what is. In embracing the unwritten chapters of our almost love, I find solace. I realized that as beautiful as our almost love may be, God has greater things in store for me. I deserve to be fully loved and chosen by someone who is entirely sure of me. Someone who is willing to go to great lengths and put in the effort to be with me. I deserve a love that's full-blown, planted and well-watered by God.
My almost love, I'm glad that you found yours and as for me, I will continue to wait, make space, and let go of what has almost become ours.
With quiet resignation,
B ๐Ÿค
Tumblr media
#AlmostLove
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr ๐Ÿฅณ
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
The Add-On
Add-on friend - a phrase I created on my own to hopefully be able to describe what I think I am for everyone, an add-on. A good-to-have companion but someone who is really not needed or wanted. Someone who can join a gathering but is not really important to join. Someone who is invited out of obligation or pity. A so-so.
I am not anyone's "main". I don't belong anywhere. I exist but people can also easily forget about my existence. The ghost in the room. Barely even there. A flower vase. A monoblock chair. A spare tire.
I just hate falling in love with people. They will make you feel soooooo loved then just take you for granted and leave you for another person. They will just start to ignore you when you've become less interesting to them and it sucks. I hate investing my time in people. I hate the fact that I've already known this but still fall for the same trap all over again because I am that lame. I love so easily. Care so easily. I am detaching myself again from them and I shouldn't be feeling anything except power and validation that I did the right thing but NOOO I'm deeply hurt. I wished I didn't have to do this. I wished to have a confidant in everything. GOD you are the only sure thing that I have.
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
The Unknown
I don't have a title for this. I just want to tell you how I am doing today because I don't know either. Emotions only come through me when I write or draw something. I can barely recognize them. Emotions are alien to me but for some weird reason, they reveal themselves whenever I'm here. So, let's give it a try.
How are we, self?
I think we're okay. This is not the kind of life that we wanted to live but we're still alive. I never imagined us being alive at this point in time. We tried to take our life several times before, but look at us! We're still here and I'm proud of you. It's not the best life but we have the best people in the world. We made good friends!
What have you been thinking about?
I have been thinking about our future lately. I still ask if this is all that we could be.
Are we happy?
No. We're not so happy. There are days when we are, but when we're left alone, we know something is still missing. We know deep in our core that there is no satisfaction. You can't be fully proud of me because you know that I have the potential but we are somehow stuck. Can you do something about this? Can you go out and do both of us a favor? Leave this house, this hometown, or this country. Go and live independently! Find yourself.
What do you want me to do?
Just get started. Do it. Discipline yourself. Stick to the words that you promise me. Be better for us! Exercise. Read. Talk to me more often. Work harder. Be grateful for the job that you have now but don't stop yourself from exploring the world. We're still young but time is not our friend if we just let it pass. Start small. Talk to me and I'll tell you the things that we need. Don't just listen, do something! We can't have the same kind of conversation daily. Don't make us give up on ourselves. The world is out there waiting for us to bloom! Do it. Don't let a day pass without improvement on this plan.
**To be continued**
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
Picture perfect?
I hope it is.
The blonde girl here? She is my cousin.
Disclaimer: This is not a hate post.
I just want to tell you about my experience. Hoping that this will just remain here as a memory that broke my heart. I don't intend to shame anyone.
This photo was taken before my father called and falsely accused me of saying things I didn't say. It was all from her. She fed them with lies and some truth to stir up a family drama. Now, I'm stuck feeling guilty for letting her get the better of me and for even trusting her. Why did she have to do that? I probably wouldn't know the answer to my question unless I talk to her. I wanted to talk to her, my flesh longs to defend myself and hurt her with my words but I am reminded of who I am now. I am now a Christian who must not live for herself. The old is gone, the new has come. I am now a new creation in Christ. I'm gonna lie if I told you that this didn't affect me. It did! It hurts to the bone knowing that your very own family could easily betray you like that. But God, even though I am hurt, I want to pray for them. It hurts to pray for them. I want to be self-centered today but I won't, because I don't want to hurt you the way that they are hurting me. I won't betray you today my Lord. Please help me to extend your grace and love to them. I am not completely innocent too. I am a sinner who has done things that broke your heart too. Please forgive me also Father for allowing myself to get resentful toward my family.
It's sooo hard to love them and I hate to feel na parang kailangan kong bawasan yung tiwala ko, yung pagc-care ko, at pagmamahal ko sa kanila kasi bakit? Bakit kailangan kong gawin yun? Lord, patawarin niyo po ako kung may mga nasabi at nagawa rin po akong di kalugod lugod sa inyo. Patawad Panginoon kung di ko ito napigilan sa pangyayari. Lord, gustong gusto kong lumaban at ipangtanggol ang sarili ko, pero Lord, vengeance is not mine. It is yours. Ikaw na po ang bahala sa kanila, lalong lalo na sa pinsan ko. Sobrang laki ata ng galit niya sakin or inggit or whatever na hindi ko alam. Patawarin niyo rin ho sana siya.
Lord, I pray for my father also na sanaLord, kami naman piliin niya at ipagtanggol niya kahit sa ganitong bagay lang.
Lord, I am sorry na nawawalan ako ng pag-asa pero Lord, you are my living hope. I surrender to you my life, my family, and my future. Lord, be my comfort. Lord, help me. My mental health is declining but I still want to love peacefully. I want to forgive wholeheartedly.
Thank You, Jesus.
Tumblr media
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
Collecting Myself
Where do I start?
I thought I had finally forgiven my father. Lord, please bless me with patience. I had been feeling inadequate since I came face to face with my earthly father. It's not entirely his fault, I had just grown up seeking his love and attention and when I don't get it, I easily get deeply hurt and insulted with his words and actions. We obviously don't know each other. I know it must be hard for him too. IHe is probably thinking now that I am too fragile and he may not know what he did wrong. He would not understand if I won't talk to him about it. I always feel like I have to prove myself worthy when I am with his family. I need to fix this. God, my Father, please help me. With you, I am complete, lacking in nothing because I have you. Help me to be content with having you alone. Father, I am still hurting. Help me to forgive my papa. Allow me to extend your grace and love to him.
Hi Reader,
I am sorry. You probably do not know the context of this post and I just couldn't write everything up for you right now, but please pray for me. We don't know each other, but my prayer is for you not to feel what I am feeling right now. You are wonderful and loved. You are enough and you can do amazing things too. You will be able to achieve your dreams and I am proud of you.
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
Imposter Syndrome
Sharing with you my go to verses whenever I am tempted to fall again for these traps ((which I always do, btw))
God reminds me in Proverbs 3:5-6 to โ€œTrust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straightโ€.
and in Matthew 11:28-30
โ€œCome to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.โ€
His words have the power to make me cry on my knees and surrender it all to him no matter how strong I try to be. Sometimes, I donโ€™t even recognize that I am carrying these burdens with me, until I am completely burnt out but, God knows. He knows it all and He has his ways of bringing me back to the cross and reminding me of my weaknesses. Madalas hindi ko na pala kaya. I am just too proud to admit it.
So, God allows me to be weak in front of Him. To be weak but without an ounce of shame which I almost cannot do around anyone, but with Him, itโ€™s easy. He makes it easy. Because in my weakness, His might covers me like my favorite childhood blanket. He gives me comfort while taking my pride away along the process and miraculously after, my strength is renewed and He blesses me with wisdom to move forward again.
My dear friend, yakap. Hindi ka nagiisa and my prayer is for you to also find comfort in Jesus. For you to allow Him to carry these unresolved problems and traumas that you continuously carry and hide from the people around you because you donโ€™t want them to worry, because they are used to seeing you do and accomplish everything on your own and for that, I am proud of you, but my friend, it is okay to rest. It is okay for you to not figure everything out yet. It is okay to cry and talk to God about it. You donโ€™t have to carry it all alone. Because even if youโ€™re so good at hiding all these issues within you, God knows. He sees you, He loves you, He wants you to lay all of it at His feet, and He wants to have a relationship with you. You just need to allow Him. That battle is meant to be fought together with God. ๐Ÿค
I am praying for you! Laban tayo dzai. ๐Ÿค
Tumblr media
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
Let's Talk About Men
This is a topic that grew on me. I like to talk about it and make silly jokes about relationships, but really, I have lost the desire to be with a man someday. Don't get me wrong, I still get attracted to beautiful, gwapo kaayo nga lalaki, I still do get the butterflies, pero whenever I think of commitment, the kilig suddenly goes with the wind **pfft* and it's replaced by an unexplainable dull feeling like suddenly, ayaw ko pala. Moreso, the idea of having to do the did with them one day in marriage, then getting pregnant, and hearing the sound of a baby crying. Just the thought of it is depressing to me.
I love hearing my girl friends talk about their crushes and I do feel kilig for them but most of the time, it's cringeeeyyy ((the topic lang ha?)) kasi nga, can't relate ako. I actually want to join them and find myself a crush too. It looks so fun pero wala talaga dzai! I support them fully, nakikitili din ako pero honestly, I can't fully relate to them. It's not like I am special or better or something. 'Di ganun 'yon! 'Wag maissue! I actually feel a bit jealous that they are willing to love and submit to a man. I admire them for being brave to welcome a relationship. Grabe sila magmahal. Kaya nga I feel like, something is wrong with me na naman. Is this another trauma response? 'cause if yes, I don't know how to do it all over again.
My selfishness stops me from thinking about a life shared with another person. My goals had always been about me and my parents. I have become an ambitious woman because of my failures. I wanted to get back up in the same place where I once stumbled. I want to prove to people that I am great. Mayabang! I am a people pleaser still pala. I still sometimes place my value on what the world would think of me and I want them to think highly of me as a woman even if that means sacrificing a possibly beautiful life lived and shared with a wonderful man that God has prepared for me. In my defense, kapag nagasawa ka na, hindi mo na maggaawa 'yung mga gusto mong gawin kasi you have to prioritize your family, and right now, I find that difficult to fathom. I still do wonder, why people would settle for a lifelong commitment with a man. Don't they have other dreams that are preferably for singles? 'Yung dreams na mas convenient iachieve 'pag wala kang ibang responsibilities, like pagaabroad for career growth or in my case, gusto ko mag-aral ulit. 'Pag nagasawa ko, paano na diba? What's more interesting is that they seem so happy and complete. I guess I would never understand until it happens to me. Selfish ako no? I know and I am not proud. I sincerely want to change and be able to understand what it means to have a healthy and lasting relationship where two people could wholeheartedly sacrifice their own needs and wants for each other. I want to experience that too, ((I guess or not lol)). That must be nice and I know that it takes submission to make that work and so, I just realized na that's where I am struggling or where I will struggle. I want to do more and be more and I am thinking of marriage as a cage that would prevent me from flying. ((I know this is wrong too, I just want to be honest with you))
I want to pursue my studies again because that has become my biggest insecurity. I started school with flying colors all the time. Honor student from grade school - college. It did fly me to the highest places but my fall because of how high I thought of myself was my most embarrassing experience. **Back story** I got caught plagiarizing my second thesis book during my second defense, which became a huge topic in the university. Of course! It's a ground for expulsion plus, as an artist, it's the worst thing that you could ever be accused of. Worst part? It's not even just an accusation, it's true! I did it. How could I diba? Ang sipag ko magsulat.
Going back, it's my pride again, Lord. I still get anxious and want to be in control, I haven't fully surrendered everything to you pa pala. Will I ever get there? What if hindi pala 'yun ang will mo for me, matatanggap ko ba? Syempre dapat, but I trust my God that you know the desires of my heart and whether that desire is the best for me or not. It's difficult, Father, pero I surrender everything unto your hands. Help me, Panginoon to do the right decisions. Kilala mo naman ako 'tay, shunga ako magdecide. Please guide me. I don't trust myself and I can't trust anyone fully but you.
Honestly, takot pa rin po ako 'tay. I feel so small and useless. I look at myself and I see a failure pero you look at me and still call me your beloved child. I can't believe that I am so valuable to you that you continue to accept me despite my failures and disobedience to you. Ikaw lang Lord and nagbibigay ng kahulugan sa buhay ko. Without you, Lord I am indeed nothing.
I should not be worrying about anything because you are all that I need, Abba. I will not ask for more. Less of me Lord and more of you, Jesus. Thank you for reminding me of why I should be contented. I am so sorry for being greedy, selfish, and proud, and for worrying when I should've known that you hold the key to my future. I shall not fear.
And oh, regarding men pala haha ang layo ko na, ikaw na rin po ang bahala Lord. Basta I am complete in you, okay na po talaga ako. Bring me closer to you po and then to that man, so I could get to know him more. Allow us po sana to be friends muna. Pagtibayin niyo rin po ang loob ko, kasi baka pakitaan lang ako ng motibo e, rumupok na agad. Loooord, ayaw ko na pong magkamali sa pagpili. Please help me discern and make me smarter when it comes to this. I want to recognize him 'pag dumating na siya. I want to understand one day, why I am feeling nothing or I have controlled feelings over any other guy at this very moment. Baka pala kaya ako ganito kasi pinagppray na niya ako. Kaloka siya. Pero, Lord, I will wait on you.
Last request po Lord, sana gwapo. Non-negotiable na po ito, please. Mabango, neat, and he desires only you and then ako next hehe. Ayaw ko na po sana nang may kaagaw. I need peace of mind.
Date Written: 12/09/2022 3:00 AM (aswang yarn?)
Tumblr media
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
Where did it all go?
Lord, I am overwhelmed. I did this to myself. I need to be more disciplined in everything because unlike others, I do not have the luxury to rest and not think about my finances. I am constantly anxious about the bills that I am about to pay every cut off. I have been spending too much. Why is it that getting more involved with others and spending time with friends requires a huge amount of money? Why is it so hard to earn it yet so easy to lose and give away?
I am 26 and yet, Iโ€™m so far in reaching my goals. My goals that get smaller and smaller as I grow older, as I realize how hard it is to earn money.
Something is bothering my soul, Lord. I lack peace. Things are getting more and more expensive. Remind me, O Lord that you are all that I need. You are all that my soul needs. You are peace yourself. Take me back to your arms Lord. Forgive me O God. I am becoming greedy and irresponsible. Prune me O Lord. Help me as I grow from this unhealthy habit of mine.
I pray for people to pay me back. :(
Goals: 1 Family Car College Education Small house/apartment
Date Written: 08/09/2022
Tumblr media
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
Serving your people is hard
Growth is indeed uncomfortable. Serving your people, my Lord is not easy. Relationship is difficult when only a few are willing to wholeheartedly commit to You and to your ministry. God, please help all of us. May you plant thoughts and plans in their hearts that are glorifying to you alone wherever they choose to go. Send us more people to shepherd, equip us O God. Help us to rebuild the B1G Bacoor ministry. Give us, Panginoon, the wisdom that we need to begin anew. Keep the fire burning in the hearts of your volunteers. Keep us all away from our selfish desires. May we stop ourselves from being discouraged. Great are your plans for each of us.
Important Date to Remember: Aug 14, 2022 - First Sunday Service ni Kuya
Tumblr media
Date Written: 08/16/2022
0 notes
randombubblethoughts ยท 2 years ago
Text
One of Those Days
Today, I donโ€™t love myself as much. I feel so insecure about so many things. I feel ugly and fat. I feel like I am not doing enough at work and in life in general. I had been lazier and irresponsible these past few months. Unable to make healthy decisions for myself. Frustrated about my failures and wrong decisions in the past. Worrying about tomorrow. Always indulging in the calling of the flesh. Seeking attention and validation from the wrong people and places. Making myself feel so unwanted and undesired. I had neglected my quiet time with God. I feel empty and lonely. Itโ€™s depressing. I tested Covid positive today too btw. Amazingly, Godโ€™s peace and joy covered my entire being. I know that Iโ€™m gon be okay, just like how I had always been. I know that this is just one of those days again.
For a moment, I allowed myself again to think only of me. When I look at myself, I see all these scars and imperfections and now I realize why we are called to look at Jesus.
How could you love someone like me, Lord? You who is perfect and divine, how could you still love me to the extent of dying on the cross to pay for these very sinful thoughts that I am writing right now? Forgive me O God. Renew my strength to serve you and praise you in the manner that your Holy Name deserves. Forgive me, Father.
Date: 12/08/2022 at 1:59 am
Tumblr media
1 note ยท View note