rambling-unhealthy-thoughts

[rambling-unhealthy-thoughts]

i rarely post my own experiences here but i need to vent about this bc its making me go insane. I suffer from POCD, and the thing is, I can pinpoint the EXACT moment that triggered it. A girl I went to school with (I am a girl) accused me of being a pedo/creep for sitting with her younger sister on the bus. She spread a rumor about it. (That she eventually recanted in private later but it was too late) That was it, sometimes thats all it takes for anxiety like that to take hold and overwhelm you. I became hyper aware of how I interacted with any kids after that. It didn't matter that I was just sitting with a kid. It didn't matter that the kid themselves was upset when I stopped letting them sit next to me. I never had any of these intrusive thoughts before this happened. Never had any kind of thought to it before it. After it happened I was obsessed with worry that I somehow, someway had done something terrible and just not picked up on it. I would avoid anything to do with kids, because my OCD would start panicking thinking I was into it and I'd sweat or feel nauseous. Even as I get better ( I can go long periods of time not thinking about it/worrying/feeling normal) I can suddenly be terrified and end up back into that cycle before I can beat it back enough that it doesnt happen.

[rambling-unhealthy-thoughts]

still thinking about the fact that one of my old friends straight up just lies about stuff I've said to make me sound worse than I am

[rambling-unhealthy-thoughts]

[rambling-unhealthy-thoughts]

I’m sorry but if you’re a proshippers/claiming lolicon is ‘normal porn’ that is outside the scope of POCD. You should feel bad if you consume Lolicon for gratification. They’re designed to look like kids. don’t lump yourself in with POCD sufferers to hide or try to claim it made you feel bad or guilty.

People with genuine POCD do not want to act on it and are disgusted by the sexualization of children. It’s why our brains panic. If you actively consume the content. You’re not afraid of it.