rainbow-town

[rainbow-town]

my transition journey in pictures

before realizing i’m trans (she/her)

coming out as nb (they/them)

coming out as a trans guy (he/him)

last photo before starting T (he/him)

first photo (roughly) after top surgery (he/him)

one year on T (he/him)

two years on T (he/him…..?)

two years post-op (he/him….?)

today, two and a half years on T and settling on the label of a genderqueer trans man (he/they!)

it’s been a long journey and there’s still so much to come but i want every young trans person who thinks it won’t get better to know that it does, it totally does. i remember being that scared girl, unsure of what she was, and i remember being that scared boy, scared of not passing enough and being too much of a burden on people. today i’m comfortable knowing that i’m both nonbinary and a man, and that’s ok. some people might not understand at first, but those who matter will try. if someone tries to deny your existence, they don’t belong in your life. being trans is a beautiful experience, a painful, hard, tedious, yet ultimately worth it experience. i’ve lost people along the way while i’ve become myself, but i grew stronger than who they were trying to force me to be.

tl;dr : it does get better. keep fighting

[rainbow-town]

I'm honestly panicking so much lately. I heard people say dysphoria doesn't go away even after surgery and I'm so scared. I can't keep living like this. I can't deal with all this and really I'm not saying I want to die or anything I just wish I could see a future for myself where I can be genuinely happy.

Hey hey hey mate take a deep breath okay, you’re gonna be okay, deep breaths, it’s gonna be okay.

If you look at the accounts of trans people, talk to them online or offline, you’ll see that majority of them have said that transitioning reduced dysphoria. Transition does help, my friend. Here, watch this-

https://youtu.be/vMAiJr4OZyI

Also, my friend, there is a future for you, okay? Take a deep breath. You’re going to be okay.

If dysphoria’s hard, try working towards a mentality by learning to stop associating gender with body parts. Curves? Genderless. Flat chest? No gender. Breasts? No gender. Your body is your gender because you’re that gender and this is your body. 

Dysphoria can be hard, but what helps is trying to find the good things in life—train yourself to notice the positives. Even if it’s just little things. Maybe you feel like you’re in someone else’s life, but hey, the sun’s bright today, and there’s a flower on the sidewalk you didn’t notice before, and your friend had a bigger smile than usual, and slowly, bit by bit, you’ll start to be happier, and maybe your life isn’t so bad after all.

And while your life isn’t ideal, it’s what you’ve go now, so learn to make peace with it. It isn’t great, but it’s not that bad, hey?

If you feel disconnected from yourself, try to take a deep breath, and try to find parts of your body, just parts, that you like. Look in the mirror and see your eyes—look at the colours and light and know that those eyes will be lit up with happiness one day, know that your teeth will show again when you smile one day, know your hair looks wonderful in the light, and maybe your hands don’t look too bad, and hey, if you wear a baggy t-shirt, maybe your body all in all isn’t too bad either!

If the room’s too dark, try to focus on the light streaming in from the window and the plant growing through the cement, and slowly, the darkness will begin to fade away.

And, my friend, I know what it’s like to play the role of someone you’re not, believe me, to feel like you’re the actor playing the role of a main character in someone else’s life, when your life hasn’t even had a chance to begin.

And my advice for that is to make peace with it. You’ll have to play that role for a few more years before the curtains can draw and the actor’s life can begin, but for now, it’s gonna be okay. Take a deep breath and grit your teeth through the misgendering and the days you feel disconnected from yourself, and know that it’s going to be okay.

Find a way to have a bit of your own life where you can be who you are, maybe with close friends who’ll use the right name, with online friends who’ll always gender you correctly, on discord and tumblr, if the real world won’t accept you.

Just, take a deep breath. If the next week seems too hard to face, take things day by day. If the next day seems hard to face, know that if you smile and look for the light, the next hour won’t be so bad.

You have a future, my friend, I promise, you will be able to have a life where you’ll be yourself and you’ll be happy, okay? There is hope, there always is, there has been hope as long as you have been here and there always will be. You’re going to be okay.

I love you. It’s going to be okay, I promise. Take a deep breath and look for the light. It’s all going to be okay.

[rainbow-town]

You don't have to try to pass, or even want to pass, to be trans. You don't have to change your hair or your wardrobe. You don't have to bind or tuck. You don't have to socially or medically transition. You don't even have to come out as trans to anyone. Whether you want to pass or not does not change who you are or your gender. You are allowed to do whatever makes you happy and comfortable. It's absolutely okay to just be you.

[rainbow-town]

I just remembered that one time where I had an argument with someone in a TikTok comment section about demisexuality. It was actually really funny because they kept saying demisexuals didn’t exist and no one felt sexual attraction until they had formed a strong emotional bond and here I am wondering how the hell i’m gonna tell them they’re probably demisexual 😂.

[rainbow-town]

My Journey of Discovering I’m Aroace

My experiences being aroace have actually been pretty good. I haven’t personally experienced much aphobia and the first (and only) person I came out to was really excepting, especially as he is also on the ace spectrum, so I would consider myself pretty lucky.

I first discovered the term ‘asexual’ when I was 12. At first, I didn’t really think much of it until I got to high school when I was 13 (in Australia you start high school in year 7 seeing as we don’t have middle school) where sex and romance was all everyone was talking about. After doing a bit more research, I came across the term ‘aromantic’ which I began to use for myself. I decided against using term ‘asexual’ as well as I kept saying “maybe I’m just too young”. However, I couldn’t get the idea of me being asexual out of my head.

After months of questioning and watching my friends, classmates and people in the years above me talk about all these people they found ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ I realised that I just couldn’t relate no matter what. Sure, I found some people cute or handsome, but I would never use those words to describe them. So after a lot of debating, I started calling myself aroace. But even after I started calling myself this, I just couldn’t get the thought of “what if i’m not actually aroace and have been faking it without even realising” or “how can you confidently call yourself aroace when you don’t even know what romantic or sexual feelings actually feel like. You’re obviously still too young” out of my head. It was strange and I felt somewhat lonely seeing everyone get in romantic relationships and even kissing in the staircases at lunch having the times of their lives.

It wasn’t until around a month or 2 later that one of my closest friends had come out to me as demisexual. He had told me his experiences and the struggles that he has had. This made me feel more welcome seeing as I could relate to him in a way. After a bit of going back and forth of whether or not I should come out, I finally decided I would do it. He was happy and excited that I had told him as it showed just how much I had trusted him as I hadn’t even told my older brother who is actually his best friend.

As time went on, the more I felt happy and comfortable calling myself aroace. Watching other people on the internet sharing their experiences being aroace has also proven to have helped a lot. Even after all this time, I still haven’t come out to anyone else. I hope that one day I’ll be able to say “I’m aroace” out loud in front of all my friends and family, but I’m taking my time and I’m perfectly fine with it.

For everyone out there trying to figure out if you’re on the aro and/or ace spectrum, don’t be afraid to use any of the labels. Labels are NOT permanent and can always change and help discover yourself. And if ‘label’ sounds too permanent, try thinking of it as a magnet on a fridge. Some magnets you like to keep up there forever, some you get sick of and decide to take it down. Sometimes you won’t even put a magnet up, as just looking at the fridge without any magnets or pictures looks far better to you. NEVER feel pressured into labelling yourself or coming out. Everyone goes at there own pace when it comes to races, everyone has there own way of running it. You are valid no matter what.

[rainbow-town]

idk what person needs to hear this but. if aro feels like it fits then use it. no ones gonna be mad at you if you realise you’re not.

[rainbow-town]

Friendly Reminder Time:

1 - Asexuals can still have sex and even enjoy it

2 - Aromantics can still be in a romantic relationship and/or enjoy the concept of romance

3 - Not all aromantics are asexual and not all asexuals are aromantic

4 - Sexual and Romantic attraction are NOT the same thing nor are they the only types of attraction

5 - Stop assuming that all aroaces are lonely and/or don’t want friends

6 - Not all aroaces are straight, they can be gay, lesbian, pan, bi, etc

7 - Aro/Aces are lgbtqia+ whether you like it or not and are queer (queer doesn’t just mean gay and lesbian, not every aro/ace will/want to use the term ‘queer’ for themselves).

8 - Not all marriages are romantic or sexual, they can be also be platonic.

If there is anything I missed (which I probably did) just reblog or comment with your addons.

[rainbow-town]

Hey, so I kinda have a problem. I'm genderfluid and I wanted to come out to my mom so I explained non-binary identities to her.

She said that sure, there are people who are non-binary. However, when I came to explaining genderfluid, she was like

'Isn't everyone genderfluid, then?'

And tbh I have no idea how to explain this to her. Also, she said that I can't be trans (I technically am) because trans people show signs when they're younger (I said that it isn't true, yet she still persisted)

And finally

I asked her for a binder. She said that I'll ruin my body and I'll be allowed to buy it only when I'll be an adult. My dysorphia ist that bad, but still.

(sorry it's long)

Ohhh god anon I’m so sorry—even if you didn’t show signs when you were younger you’re still 100% valid and trans, I’m so sorry you had to hear that.

Here’s some info on binding—if you scroll down, there’s info on hoe to get a binder without your parents knowing/how to bind without a binder

https://transgenderteensurvivalguide.com/bindingfaq

Lmk if you have any more questions!

[rainbow-town]

““[…] you’re not obligated to figure it out, or come out, or explain yourself to anyone, ever. But also”- she drops her hands from their spectrum and tucks an arms around his shoulder- “labels can be nice sometimes. They can give us a language to understand ourselves and our hearts better. And they can help us find a community and develop a sense of belonging.””

— The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

[rainbow-town]

some things i wish i knew when i first found out i was trans

it’s ok feel uncomfortable with new pronouns at first

yr gonna misgender yrself (it doesn’t mean yr faking being trans)

and you’ll probably call yrself the wrong name more than once

u might start to notice dysphoria more often after coming out

feeling uncertain is pretty universal

it’s ok to experience these things, it sucks but it fades over time + in no way does it invalidate yr gender. it gets better, i promise.

[rainbow-town]

something i really like about being ace is how much questioning & researching asexuality taught me about different types of attraction and what they feel like. there are so many allos (especially straight allos) who never even think about the difference between sexual & romantic attraction, let alone sensual, platonic, or aesthetic attraction, and i’m really glad that questioning my sexuality led me to learn more about myself. there are definitely some frustrating things about being asexual, but this is something i’m really grateful for.

[rainbow-town]

Rainbow Town does not accept such people.

If you are transphobic, you don't get to be a part of the LGBTQIA community anymore. I'm revoking your membership. You don't get to come to the fun parades and get pretty rainbow things anymore.

[rainbow-town]

Fatphobia effing sucks man

Fatphobia in the gay men's community is uh. Rampant and i don't think people really address it that much because thin people don't think it's an issue and fat people are never taken seriously (often because they're fat!!).

Y'all will call any skinny buff man with a bit of chest hair a bear, then label the actual bears as "creepy" or "ugly" if you don't just flat-out ignore their existence.

Y'all will be like "i love men's tits" until a fat man exists and suddenly it's all "we can't promote such an unhealthy lifestyle, because being unhealthy is bad" pretending to care about us while simultaneously calling us undesirable and linking moral weight to physical weight.

Apparently it's completely impossible to show support for fat gay men without being fetishistic about it and i'm fucking sick of it. Do better. i'm not holding you at gunpoint telling you to find every fat man hot. i'm asking you sternly to treat us like human beings. It's not that hard.

[rainbow-town]

LGBTQ flags color-picked from landscapes

lesbian

gay

bi

trans

queer/lgbtq

part 2

[rainbow-town]

hello, ryan. may i ask? have you come out to your friends? if you have, may i know how's your feeling while coming out?

Heya!

And yeah, you can ask! It’s a bit personal but I don’t mind answering :)

I have indeed! 

So y’all know while I mostly go unlabelled/use umbrella terms, I’m transgender and bisexual!

I’m openly bisexual—I never really came out, I just casually mention it lol, so yeah most people in my class know I’m bi!

However, only a few of my close friends know I’m transgender. I came out to each of them individually, so yeah!

When coming out I was a bit scared bc I didn’t want to loose my friends and I wanted them to accept me so yeah I was a bit scared/nervous, so ye, that’s how I felt!

[rainbow-town]

Ah, the pain. I’m trying to make you regret your decision or anything, but if you think that would be safe you could’ve bought the shoes and played it of as just liking the colors of the rainbow. Even if it would be safe, it’s still okay not to have wanted to do that.

I’m just a stranger on the Internet, I can’t gouvern your life. I don’t even know you, what your family thinks about those kinds of topics and your situation in general.

When there’s rainbow shoes that you want really badly and they fit with your outfit and they’re really comfortable and reasonably priced, but you’re with your family