radicalcrashout

[radicalcrashout]

the great thing abt conclave is that its highly unlikely the fandom will ever be able to put me off of enjoying the movie or book because theres nothing yall can do thats worse than what catholicism has already done

[radicalcrashout]

love pining aldo but also a big fan of ridiculous pragmatic aldo whose emotions always channel into his work—not always in a productive manner unfortunately—and just has no fucking time to be in love because everything is so dogshit all the time and someone's gotta yap about it.

thomas sad wet and pitiful lawrence out here like ''aldo you're my dearest friend 🥺'' and aldo just goes ''that's nice can we think about the place of women in the curia''. thomas silly and easily enamoured lawrence going ''we should go for a walk at the park :D" and aldo replying ''right yeah i did hear about a student protest happening today about racism within the education sphere''. thomas ''way too many details about how nice adeyemi smells'' lawrence smiling at aldo, thinking about how lovely and kind and well fucking groomed he is or whatever and aldo's just neck deep in the densest fucking tome on canon law going ''huh that's a fascinating interpretation of corinthians''

i just think aldo deserves a break. time to put tommy on the chopping block.

[radicalcrashout]

flipping da script and considering that perhaps aldo falls out of love with thomas the same way you let go of everything that was once dear to you but has caused inconceivable grief. it's not that he doesn't still care deeply for thomas, but the writing's been on the wall ever since they met. so by the time they are approaching their 50s, aldo has managed to kill the part of him that wants thomas lawrence entirely.

except now thomas cannot help but see bellini in a new light with every passing day. maybe it's because they're a little further apart than they once were, emotionally and spatially, or maybe he's simply losing his mind. but these days every time he sees aldo it's like getting a taste of something so beautiful, achingly familiar and precious to one's very soul. he doesn't know what to do. he tells aldo everything but surely this would be too far? he doesn't realise that it's less a matter of too far and more a matter of too late.

aldo picks up on thomas' strange behaviour, but doesn't interpret it further than perhaps thomas going through a rough patch, and he does his best to be there as a friend would. it's not as though they could ever have been anything more, after all.

[radicalcrashout]

you ever feel like you will never stop having to re-process your stupid trauma and that its just gonna keep going and going until it eats you alive or something

[radicalcrashout]

thinking a vague amalgamation of thoughts that cohese into lawrellini angst.

the way time passes always too quickly when you are with someone you love.

how aldo has always felt like he is living for the precious minutes where he exists with thomas and how no matter how close he is it's never enough—never enough time or love or truth or sense or hope or anything that will stop the vicious cycle.

late night smoking sessions between bellini and sabbadin where sabbadin smokes and bellini tries and fails to not crash out and by now sabbadin is all too familiar with everything aldo loves about thomas lawrence and isn't it funny, really, how that love can be compressed and communicated to someone else with such ease and yet the object of affection remains ever oblivious, ever out of reach.

and maybe one day after pope innocent xiv is elected aldo and thomas have the afternoon off—it's a nice day, one of the lovelier ones they've spent together, and they're sitting at a cafe and talking about nothing in particular and aldo thinks idly about how this is so close to all he wants—and the conversation turns to vincent and thomas says, easily, off-handed like it means nothing,

"you know, vincent really is lovely to spend time with. sometimes when we speak, i find that hours have passed without my noticing, isn't that funny? how strange, that i should be so captivated by him. i didn't know the presence of another could be so absorbing, as though time compresses itself. i've never felt like that before.

have you, aldo?''

[radicalcrashout]

Hello, I really need to say that I just spent 45 minutes scrolling through your feed and your thoughts on lawrellini are absolutely delicious. I'm in love with the way you think about them because, by God, you GET IT. That's it, never hold down on posting your headcanons, they are delightful.

!!!!! this is so nice :]]]] yippee thank you i love unrequited love and feeling like what you have is too good to lose !!!

[radicalcrashout]

unfortunately i have the ''inevitably attracted to ppl i spend too much time around'' disease and i Am going to project it onto thomas lawrence and he Is gonna have a track record of becoming very infatuated w ppl and then losing interest as soon as they stop seeing each other often

[radicalcrashout]

their friendship exists on the premise that they do not discuss what is said or done when aldo gets drunk. that, on nights where the world is cold and he is lonelier than any man should reasonably be expected to bear, and wine is all that will warm him, aldo can visit thomas with a bottle or two, already tipsy, and thomas will let him in. and when aldo has polished off a bottle while thomas nurses his second glass, he can lean a little too heavily against his side as they sit together on a leather sofa thomas has owned for the past 30 years (he is reluctant to let go of that which serves him well), and thomas will allow it.

(he's kissed thomas before. it's never gone well, but he can't help himself when he's drunk and thomas is ever so slightly tipsy as well and so handsome and kind and lovely. every time, it's been like kissing a statue. the pain of this should dissuade him from repetition. it doesn't.)

sometimes aldo wants to talk. 'talk' of course meaning 'weepily profess his love over and over again in increasingly teary hysterics', while thomas sits, and listens, and doesn't judge him except for those times where he'd brought over bourbon instead of wine and had gotten so spectacularly plastered he started telling thomas in great detail about how he wants the man to rail him until his back breaks. it's a particularly bad night. aldo doesn't come back around until weeks later, and thomas is unable to meet his gaze for several days.

"i love you," aldo will say over and over, in various tones over various years, lightly and heavily and meanly and sweetly and drunkenly and (once) soberly and angrily and bitterly and pleadingly, and every time, thomas nods, replies, "i know," and nothing else. it's a knife to the heart; it's the only way their relationship can sustain itself. neither can bear the thought of losing the other. thomas does love aldo in his own way, would never give him up, and aldo—well.

he could say rejection hurts less after the thousandth time from the same person, and it might be half-true. he could say he values their friendship deeply regardless of the havoc it plays with his heart, and that would be true.

the simplest answer is that he's greedy. wants the high, even if he crashes after. thomas is always worth it, even if aldo only ever wakes up alone.

[radicalcrashout]

crashing out, returning to my roots (michael in the bathroom nightcore on loop)

i do wish id offed myself instead and that i was never born ur so right king

[radicalcrashout]

Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

[radicalcrashout]

insanely typical of me to waltz into a dead dove-y server and sit myself down right in the self harm/eating disorder channel lmfao like yeah unfortunately i'm only the horny kind of freak about 15% of the time, 25% if i really push for it. the rest of the time its "how can i make this character torture themself forever and ever and ever"

[radicalcrashout]

romcom conclave sequel that's just pope innocent xiv matchmaking everyone petting turtles doing karaoke spiralling into depression over his unrequited love for thomas who is now with aldo getting tipsy doing baptisms questioning his faith crying himself to sleep sneaking out of the vatican to see bookshops and cafes crashing funerals going to the gay bar incognito dancing under the colourful lights kissing men.

gestures at the church yknow what this thing could use thats right the love actually (2003) treatment

[radicalcrashout]

when thomas tells him about the cancer, aldo thinks for a moment that it might finally be time to confess. maybe this is a sign from god, to say something before it's too late, take the risk while it still exists, before thomas lawrence is nothing but a grave and a coffin and a pile of disty bones.

he doesn't confess. how could he? it's not what thomas needs, nor what he wants. he goes with him to chemo treatments and doctors appointments despite protests, and he works tirelessly to ensure that thomas' workload is accounted for—though the holy father is well aware of thomas' illness, it seems there are some things that only he alone can do. apparently. no matter; they are done, and if the pope can't tell that they were not done by thomas, so much the better. as long as thomas can rest, as long as he doesn't have to worry about his duties. aldo works, and works, and takes thomas to his chemo appointments and drives him carefully home afterwards, and resolutely ignores the absolute terror of how distinctly possible it is that thomas will die, and he'll be left here alone and purposeless without thomas.

it's dramatic, he knows. people die every day. his parents are dead, his sister died, his brother may as well be dead. but he fears he simply will not be able to bear this final wound, that it will be the end of him, because who is he without thomas?

a fool. a tired, broken fool.

they're in the car, thomas carefully arranged in the passenger seat, aldo white-knuckling the wheel. he's bringing thomas back home, and he'll sit with him a little while before making sure he can get to bed alright and departing for his own home.

he doesn't get to stay. that's not his purpose.

[radicalcrashout]

the problem w me and writing is that 95% of the time if it's not finished in one session i will never finish it. every fic i've ever posted was written in one or two sessions max, maybe 3. i cannot do multichap i simply lose interest in myself too quickly

[radicalcrashout]

feel like im not perverse enough abt these old men. need to put them in fucked up positions :/ but im a very soppy weepy emotional angst kind of guy at heart 😔😔😔 idk how 2 whump and my sex drive is long dead. whatever. benitesco mating press. god make me a channel of your fucking peace so i can drown myself in it.

[radicalcrashout]

i don't know how i feel abt asylum of the daleks as an episode and i don't know how i feel abt the somewhat (TO ME) rushed almost-divorce arc but the argument amy and rory have when he's trying to give her the wristband has haunted me since i was a wee thing. what the fuck do you mean ''i didn't kick you out, i gave you up.'' what do you mean !!!!!!!!

shit's devastating. the idea of them trying to have kids only for amy to realise it will never work (and rory realises too because he's always smarter, more perceptive than he's given credit for). amy retreating into herself, blaming herself for what was done to her, lashing out because she's so disgusted by the way her body does not work as she wants, as her husband who she loves so dearly wants. and rory trying to get through to her, failing time and again, begging her to see that he loves her and wants to help her and be with her no matter what.

but to amy, it's no use. none of it matters. she loves him so much and she's ruined his life in so many ways and she can't do this one stupid thing that so many people out there do with such ease or even accidentally and it kills her to feel like she's been made defective.

i'm meh on pregnancy/baby-having plotlines and i think generally in doctor who they've been kind of dogshit and indicative of many a writer's inability to conceptualise a woman with agency and desire and motivation beyond childbirth but god it crushes me every time amelia pond you are so loved by me....