raccoon-in-ankhmorpork

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Thinking about that time I forgot the title to an Arctic Monkeys song, which led me to calling it “Neon Teenager” instead of “Fluorescent Adolescent”.

Good times, good times.

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Apparently my train is driving through the Lonely.

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Me when I wanna ask for more dessert and also mention a famous composer:

Mo ‘sert.

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Don’t talk to me I’m thinking about the fact we can never let go of this love, no matter how violent. We do things out of hate too, but these worms were massacred out of love. Orpheus doomed Eurydice out of love. We can’t let go of that.

Fear is detachment, love is connection. Even if that connection is more like a fist to the face, a blade to the flesh, nails into skin. It’s still love, it’s still us. That terrible fatal sweetness we carry and sometimes call “humanity”.

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

and she told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and i would go to heaven, and i would be able to talk to the worms, and i would be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident out of excessive Love, and that they would forgive me, because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

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verified ways to donate to gaza directly

Donate to a Palestinian family directly:

gazafunds.com - Donate directly to a Palestinian family in urgent need of evacuation, medical treatment, daily necessities or more. Site run by Palestinians, all GFMs verified (full list here). Spotlights 1 stagnant GFM at a time. (*If you can't decide who/where to donate, just go to gazafunds.com & donate to the 1 GFM they show you!)

masterlist of 200+ verified Palestinian families' GFMs: Operation Olive Branch

Help provide tents:

The Sameer Project: Currently providing tents & transport for families in Rafah who urgently need to evacuate to Deir Al Balah. Has a team on the ground in Gaza who have supplied tents to 1% of the displaced population in Rafah. Run by Palestinians. (paypal) (gfm)

@helpgazachildren: Currently helping Palestinians in a refugee camp in Rafah flee the Rafah invasion to Khan Younis. Funds go directly to Hussam, a Palestinian in Rafah who hosts a refugee camp. Funds will cover the cost of tents & transport fuel. Managed by a Palestinian @.fairuzfan. (gfm)

Food:

Care for Gaza: Palestinian charity on the ground in Gaza distributing food, cash, medicine & other essentials to displaced families. Proof of their work found on their Twitter. (paypal) (gfm)

We Feed Gaza: Team of Palestinian volunteers in the heart of Gaza distributing food & water to 344+ families. More details & proof in their gfm. Vetted & promoted by LetsTalkPalestine on IG. (gfm)

Direct Aid for Gaza: A Palestinian activist on the ground in Gaza distributing food, cash & other essential supplies to displaced families. Proof of their work found on their twitter. (paypal) (gfm)

Water (*urgent and crucial!)

Gaza Municipality: The official Municipality of Gaza is doing vital, life-saving work to rebuild the water pipes in Gaza City to restore access to clean water & waste management services for the people of Gaza.

eSIMs (highly needed):

guide to buy & send esims to gaza

Crips for eSims for Gaza: donate any amount to this team of volunteers who pool funds to buy & maintain gaza esims regularly (see their financial accountability document).

Medical Aid:

Gaza Wound Care (urgent): Palestinian doctors in central Gaza treating injured/sick children & mothers in neglected displacement camps far from hospitals. Facing a severe shortage of medicines, equipment, and medical supplies. Currently raising funds to support their efforts to battle infectious diseases in refugee camps. (gfm) (paypal) (gogetfunding)

international charities: Palestine Red Crescent Society, Palestine Children's Relief Fund, Medical Aid for Palestinians

How to help if you can't donate:

Share & amplify Palestinian fundraisers in your irl & online circles

Organize or help to run an online/irl event to raise funds for Palestine

Boycott

Get involved with a protest/strike/direct action in your area

Contact your reps

Educate yourself & others both irl & online

Daily clicks on Arab.org

(you can even adopt 1 fundraiser campaign to regularly boost it & make materials promoting it online, or print posters/flyers about Palestinian fundraisers to encourage others to donate. (poster/graphic about gazafunds.com: here, flyers about esims: here, flyers about gazafamilyfunds: here)

(longer masterpost of all ways you can help)

updated 3/6/2024 with Gaza Wound Care & We Feed Gaza. I wanted to focus on Palestinian-run grassroots initiatives that will actually reach Gazans on the ground, so all of these except eSIMs, PCRF, MAP are by Palestinians. i have verified them but please feel free to do your own vets for your peace of mind.

Remember small donations really do add up. Any amount counts, even $1!

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Yk what’s REALLY fucking funny? That when you’re ftm nonbinary, you’re discriminated both for being a woman and for NOT being a woman. So funny. Hilarious, even.

It doesn’t matter who you are, it just matters that they can find a way to alienate you.

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Anyone who thinks STEM people are the biggest “actually ☝️🤓” people in academia has never met a philosophy student, istg.

(Affectionately. Besides, I am nothing if not obnoxious and pedantic myself.)

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I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more

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Magnus Protocol thoughts incoming!!!!

So, idk if I’ve simply missed it, but I haven’t seen anyone discuss how the happenings are being recorded—we know that in tma what we are listening to are tapes produced by magically appearing tape recorders, but how is tmagp being recorded?

The most obvious answer is that Fr3-D1 is recording everything relevant, right? I guess it could be something else, but I’m pretty sure it is Fr3-D1. But here’s the thing: our beloved OIAR employees have access to Fr3-D1! Their job is to categorise the cases it gives them: cases in the form of blog posts, e-mails or… recordings. I think it would be super cool if at some point Sam (or someone else) stumbles across a recording of one of their days at the office (and obviously chaos would ensue, they’d try to escape being recorded but always fail… or something). The OIAR may not be serving any Fear, but I reckon Fr3-D1 is. And if it’s entity beholden to a Fear, showing the OIAR that it’s constantly being recorded would definitely serve the Eye. Wouldn’t that be super cool?

(It could also be that the entities serving the Eye are jonmartin + Jonah stuck in the computer and not the computer itself, but since they got there the way they did… idk.)

(It could also be that it’s not Fr3-D1 recording everything at all. I guess another theory could be that it’s Lena stalking her coworkers. But the Fr3-D1 theory makes more sense to me.)

Anyways, those were my two cents! In conclusion I’d just like to say this: I am certain that Jonny and Alex will keep us on our toes, and this will NOT just play out the way we expect it to. I’m super excited to see what comes next, as always with Jonny and Alex !! To anyone potentially reading this: have a nice day!

P.S.: I cannot shake the concept of this post being read out by Chester or something… creepy.

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Fellas, I have just been to a Hozier concert (in Berlin), and I could say a million things about it, but:

EVERYONE WAS SO PRETTY AND HANDSOME AND WELL-DRESSED???? I have found my people, my type, my fashion sense: Hozier concert goers.

Seeing Hozier was a whole thing, which is why I instead decided to just remark upon his fans, my appreciation of which is easier to articulate. ALSO! I like “Cherry Wine” at least fifteen times better now, having experienced it in that concert. It was such a beautiful moment, so peaceful, singing softly together and waving our flashlights. I’m so grateful I got to live that moment.

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DC superhero AU where Remus is the Riddler but he calls himself Rebus.

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I think it follows a certain poetic order of things that the sweater I have stolen from my father (who has also had it for years) should begin unraveling a bit at the sleeve just as I write my essay on Shakespeare’s Sonnet LXV – a sonnet describing how all things succumb to Time eventually, no matter how sturdy they may seem.

It’s a poem I recommend you read and, if you happen to be so inclined, analyse. I’m not very familiar with Shakespeare (didn’t study him much in school since I don’t live in an anglophone place), but I can say that this specific sonnet is definitely worth reading. And if you like the theme of art being the only way to make something immortal, then I can also wholeheartedly recommend Horace’s Odes (in particular Ode 30, III). Horace can sound a little conceited, but he was right: he IS remembered to this day for his skill, it wasn’t his personal delusion that it would be so.

I don’t expect this will be read by many, but I would love for more people to read poetry – it was held in such high regard for so long that we are today more inclined to overlook its brilliance than to notice it. So yeah, that’s why I wrote this. Enjoy the poems, they are the soul of human existence!

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Hey folks :) I’m back at it again with my random fandom takes. Here’s a Marauders one.

I was just thinking about the Marauders fandom and how one of the most fascinating things about it, to me, is that it’s the result of many people’s creations, which makes its canon less a univocal thing than a web of connections and typicalities. And while reflecting on this I thought: “hey, isn’t there another occasion where this intricate web of versions and details takes place?”. It took a second (I had to search my mind ‘cause the occurrence was refusing to surface in my consciousness), but here it is *drumroll please*: mythology! That’s what {a web of different versions by different storytellers, creating many different iterations of the same place, character or story, different versions maintaining nodes in common with each other, some more widely accepted than others} is called: a mythology!

So, we can thus conclude that Marauders is a mythology. I somehow feel that this is a relevant discovery, but I don’t know how… at any rate, calling it a mythology awards it some of the respectability that people otherwise like to say it lacks (which was of course a preposterous take to begin with).

Happy near future to anyone who reads this :P

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On Aziraphale

I’ve seen a lot of people be angry at Aziraphale, and I’ve seen a lot of people criticise those people for their anger. I have felt a need to make my position on this matter known (I say “known” as if many people—if any—will read this, but yk).

Aziraphale is an incredibly complicated character; I will never fully understand him, because the nature of his conflictions isn’t something I’ve experienced: his love for God.

But when I say I am angry at him, I don’t mean to say I love him any less. He’s a sweetheart, he’s smart, he’s kind and willing to learn about the world… I couldn’t not love him. My anger at him comes from that: I want Aziraphale to choose what’ll make him happiest, and I don’t think he made the right choice in accepting the Metatron’s offer.

Another thing I don’t mean to say when I say I’m angry is that I think he could’ve done anything differently from how he did. I am fully aware that his arc has ways to go still, that he would never have refused the position when his love for God is still so strong, when he still thinks Heaven is misguided yet good at heart. I don’t expect more of him—it’s more that I’m frustrated. I know he’ll get there eventually, but seeing him fall into Heaven’s trap over and over just makes me sad for him; watching him make decisions that wouldn’t and won’t make him happy hurts, because he deserves to be so fucking happy, he deserves to fully understand what was done to him and stop forgiving it for once in his life.

So yes, I am angry at Azira, but I attribute him no fault. I understand him and I love him anyways and I only wish him the best.

Many blessings to anyone who read this! It was nothing more and nothing less than an explanation of why anger towards Aziraphale can, in my opinion, be justified, while I still think it often isn’t; I hope it was at least in some way interesting or useful to you :)

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Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!

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Do you ever just look at your camera roll from the past week or two and see your life from the outside, and while going through it it felt sort of dull a lot of the time but the pictures are basically a highlight reel of it, and you think “damn, I’ve really been living this entire time huh?” and it makes you just a bit more content with yourself?

…or is that just me?

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Something not fandom-related this time:

Have you seen that post about contronyms floating around here somewhere? (If you haven’t, here’s the definition of a contronym.)

The post says that “literally” has become a contronym with its modern use. Upon reflecting on this, although I initially disagreed, I think I now do agree, BUT I think there’s an important distinction to make. Here’s my reasoning:

We might say “ugh, I’ve been waiting for years!”

I think we can agree that this sentence means “I’ve been waiting for a comparatively long time”, and NOT “I have been waiting 365 days multiple times over”, right?

The use of “for years” there is a hyperbole. The modern use of “literally” is very similar: in the sentence “I literally almost died” we usually want to accentuate the gravity of the situation, but without implying that we did, in fact, almost die.

So, what’s the difference? Why is “a comparatively long time” not listed as a meaning of “years”, whereas “figuratively” IS listed for “literally”? It’s because “for years” in that first sentence is still easily recognisable as a figure of speech, whereas “literally” isn’t anymore. A word gains a new meaning when its use in that way is so widespread as to become closely linked to the word, in a way that makes it so we need the new meaning added to the dictionary if we want an English-learner to properly learn to understand the language.

So: “literally” isn’t a contronym simply because it is used as a hyperbole, but because that hyperbole is used almost more than the actual meaning of the word, making it so that it is barely distinguishable as a figure of speech anymore, and instead is moreso perceived and intepreted by our minds as a different meaning of the word.

I know this is incredibly nitpicky and unimportant, but I figured why not talk about it anyways and get it off my chest? This has been “Amateur Takes on Linguistics with Raccoon”, thanks for tuning in :)