quoisitively-queer

[quoisitively-queer]

Welcome (back) to #AggressivelyArospectacular!

#AggressivelyArospectacular is a week-long event promoting the creation of original content in arospec communities.

Are you arospec? Do you want to rave about your OCs? To share your poetry, your collages, your music? Do you make short-films or jewelry? Have you always dreamt of making a fashion lookbook? Or anything else? In short, do you create?

Because if so, this event is here for you!

From the 12th to the 18th of November, submit any original creative content you want us to see by tagging it as #AggressivelyArospectacular (in the first five tags) or sending us a link through our submission box. Your work will then be shared on this blog for our community to enjoy.

Your work does not have to specifically focus on arospec experiences (but we always appreciate a content warning if your piece features romantic content.)

Please, note that this event focuses specifically on original content. If you want to share your fanart, fanfic or other kind of fancontent with us, kindly wait for our other event, #AggressivelyArospecWeek, which is held in June every year!

We encourage you to submit as many pieces in as many different mediums as you like! We would love to be able to spam other people’s dash with art for a whole week.

Let’s show the world how diverse and creative the arospec community is!

(For more information, check out our about page and FAQ section. You can find all the content submitted in previous editions in our #AggressivelyArospectacular tag.)

[quoisitively-queer]

i just discovered abt the quoiromantic label from this account and i am over the moon! ive been wondering about being arospec for so long now, and its so relieving to have some clarity. thank you!

Hey, congrats on figuring it out and welcome to the community! Feel free to peruse the blog and tags, and if there's anything you need or want to talk about, don't be afraid to reach out!

[quoisitively-queer]

The quoi flag may not have survived the tournament but our aro-spec twin still has the chance to win! Vote nebularomantic!

Finals: which flag looks cooler?

[quoisitively-queer]

Can you make a quoirose (quoiromantic + quoisexual) flag? i don’t think there’s any made yet. thanks in advance ^^

Thank you for the wonderful request!

[quoisitively-queer]

Thank you for the additions! I apologise for the poor choice of words; I'm trying to convey meanings of extremely abstract concepts in ways that are as easy to understand as possible, but sometimes this doesn't come across quite the way I want it to.

In my personal experience with quoi-ness over the last seven years, embracing the confusion I have felt about my experiences with attraction has been incredibly freeing. It was a way of saying "I'm still not sure how I am attracted to people and maybe this will be something that becomes clearer in the future or maybe it won't. Either way, I am still me and there's still an amazing community that I can communicate with regarding my experiences and feelings." However, this is simply my experience and many others may not think of it in the same way, so I appreciate other viewpoints being added.

Regarding the 'gay panic' aspect, thank you for bringing this up as well! It's something that didn't occur to me when I read it and, while I'm sure anon didn't mean any harm by it, it's good to be reminded of how much harm certain phrases can cause so we can be more kind and considerate in the future.

Once again, sorry for the offence caused, but I appreciate the corrections. Hopefully we can all build a more caring aspec communnity together!

Two things: I’m quoiromantic and imo there should be a term like gay panic but for quoi when stressing out if you like someone platonically or romantically. like quoi panic. but not enough people know that we exist :(((((

second thing is a question actually, is there a difference between quoiromantic and quoisexual and if so what is it? or is it just used interchangibly

thanks in advance and have a great day or night wherever you are :D

Yeah, there may not be much visibility but at least within the community we can all complain about it together! Not sure if it's still a thing but the word "squish" was always used for platonic crushes so there were a few attempts to combine the two into things like "squash" and "scrunch". Maybe it would be worth doing a poll at some point so people could submit words they like to describe "??? Attraction??? For this person??? Maybe???"

Secondly, that's a great question! "Quoiromantic" is usually used for confusion around romantic attraction vs other attractions, while "Quoisexual" is usually used for confusion around sexual attraction vs others. For some people there's just confusion all round so they might use both or just "quoi" or some combination of quoi and aroace terminology. Hopefully that makes some sense though?

We mainly share quoiro stuff but there's others on tumblr that focus on quoix stuff instead, so feel free to bounce around the blogs and see how they differ!

Hope you have a good day/night/indistinguishable time as well! Thanks for the ask!

[quoisitively-queer]

Two things: I’m quoiromantic and imo there should be a term like gay panic but for quoi when stressing out if you like someone platonically or romantically. like quoi panic. but not enough people know that we exist :(((((

second thing is a question actually, is there a difference between quoiromantic and quoisexual and if so what is it? or is it just used interchangibly

thanks in advance and have a great day or night wherever you are :D

Yeah, there may not be much visibility but at least within the community we can all complain about it together! Not sure if it's still a thing but the word "squish" was always used for platonic crushes so there were a few attempts to combine the two into things like "squash" and "scrunch". Maybe it would be worth doing a poll at some point so people could submit words they like to describe "??? Attraction??? For this person??? Maybe???"

Secondly, that's a great question! "Quoiromantic" is usually used for confusion around romantic attraction vs other attractions, while "Quoisexual" is usually used for confusion around sexual attraction vs others. For some people there's just confusion all round so they might use both or just "quoi" or some combination of quoi and aroace terminology. Hopefully that makes some sense though?

We mainly share quoiro stuff but there's others on tumblr that focus on quoix stuff instead, so feel free to bounce around the blogs and see how they differ!

Hope you have a good day/night/indistinguishable time as well! Thanks for the ask!

[quoisitively-queer]

hi quick shoutout to fellow aros of all kinds u are all wonderful. also shoutout to fellow quoiromantics cuz what the fuck right?? every day i sit down and go What Is Romance And Why Are We All Supposed To Care So Much i am SICK !! of the amatonormativity

happy aro day <3 love loses

[quoisitively-queer]

ace, aro, aroace & quoi lockscreens

have a flag to request? hit me up!

[quoisitively-queer]

This is weirdly specific and probably non-relatable but I suffer from OCD and I think its induced by a thyroid condition (it can mimic OCD) and due to that I used the term nebularomantic but realized despite the fact Im also ND it probably doesnt apply bc my OCD isnt via the brain and started using quoi and I actually really like it!

That's fair enough! Nebula- and quoi- are kinda like the identical twins of aspec identities anyway, so whether people use one or the other or both, they're welcome here. I personally found out I was autistic a couple of years ago (five years after I learn about quoi identities) and while it probably has some effect on my ideas (or lack of) of attraction, I'm already happy with quoiro so am unlikely to be changing anytime soon.

So welcome to the group! Glad you're here and glad you felt comfortable talking about your experience! :D

[quoisitively-queer]

So far doesn't look like we're winning this one lads, but worth a boost anyway!

which flag looks cooler?

[quoisitively-queer]

Happy pride month ! ! ! ! ! !

Thank you, happy pride month to you too! If you haven't already, don't forget to treat yourself this month, whether it be taking a much needed break, doing something you love or buying something you've had an eye on! 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[quoisitively-queer]

I hope you still check this! I just figured out what quiromantic is and oh my gosh is this how everyone feels when they figure this out? My friends are either straight, bi, pan gay or other more commonly heard of attractions. What if they think this can’t be real? I’ve debated my sexuality for a LONG time. And I don’t understand attraction very well. Is this what I am? Also are there any books with quiromantic characters?

Hello! Yes, it's just me currently as far as I'm aware but I'm still keeping an eye on the blog. Glad you found it! It's been about seven years since I first heard the word but it was definitely relieving to find.

The thing about sexuality and attraction is that labels aren't there to force you into a box and choose an experience for you; they're there to a) help you put the experiences and emotions you have into words, and/or b) help you find other people who share these experiences or emotions. So while it may not be as easily identifiable as the major LGBTQ attractions, if it helps you then that's what matters!

I don't know about other people, but finding out about quoiromanticism lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. You don't have to immediately know (or know at all) what's going on with attraction, you can just be. Because there are other people who experience the same thing!

As for the last question, I'm very glad you asked that because until now I'd just assumed there weren't, but there are! This is just from a five minute search of GoodReads, but apparently the main character of 'The Unstoppable Wasp' comics is quoiro (though confirmed by the author outside of the books since it got cancelled before it could be fully canonised) and one character in the book 'The Changing of Allison Dutch'. I haven't read either of them but it's definitely worth looking into further! Non-fiction, I will forever recommend Ash Hardell's ABCs of LGBT+, since it's the one I started out with and actually defines quoisexuality and quoiromanticism!

Hope at least some of this helped! Feel free to check back in if there's anything else!

[quoisitively-queer]

which flag looks cooler?

[quoisitively-queer]

Could someone I be Quoiromantic and Demiromantic at the same time? Like not being able to define/ understand your romantic attraction for someone, but the person you get attracted (whether romantic or platonic or something in between) to has to be close to you for you to develop those feelings? Sorry I just started this new identity crisis like…yesterday aha,

No worries, it's good that you're exploring your relationship with attraction and how you want to describe it! You can absolutely identify with quoiro and demiro at the same time. Quoiro describes the state of your attraction (or lack of state i suppose) while demi describes the conditions of this attraction forming so it makes perfect sense to me to combine the two. Get a feel for quoiromanticism and demiromanticism, see how they feel and apply them whenever feels right!

Hope things go well and if you want to talk further, feel free to get in contact again!

[quoisitively-queer]

Subtle quoiromantic and quoisexual galaxy backgrounds made in WOMBO dream for @aspecpridecalendar 6/19.

[quoisitively-queer]

So I've always personally struggled with my sexuality and it's literally been a couple days since discovering this term but I feel like I am quoiromantic? Or at least on there. Like- I've always struggled to understand how on earth I feel romantic and sexual attraction yet I know I experience it. I've also always had issues trying to identify platonic and romantic attraction and only can really tell when I put it into a list of factors sort of thing. It doesn't help I also identify with Aceflux and gray romantic also and I'm scared for what I'm feeling, it's tough enough as it is for me considering I am neurodivergent. It's a struggle I've had for years, especially when I've identified as Unlabelled or simply Ace for years. I'm in a committed relationship and I'm scared how this may affect it as well because I know the feelings I feel for my partner are romantic, not platonic like I can somewhat tell the difference but its so hard to do it 90% of the time because I've struggled maintaining friendships and relationships before due to being neurodivergent but also due to trauma and just lacking the social skills in general.

Hey, sounds like you've been going through a lot. From one neurodivergent person to another, identifying feelings and dealing with social situations is hard at the best of times, so adding sexuality into it can be even more terrifying.

I'm not going to say you know yourself and how you're feeling the best, because I know that definitely doesn't help me. But if quoiromanticism is resonating with you, you can try the label on for size, see how it feels and how it fits with how you already think of yourself (in combination with other terms like aceflux and grayro as well as on its own), and you can either keep it if you like it or move on to something else if you don't. Attraction and romantic orientations are confusing and it's not always 'one size fits all'. If you haven't already, I'd also look at the 'nebularomantic' posts around tumblr, since they tend to be focused on the link between neurodivergency and not being able to define attraction. Essentially the same concept, but a bit more connected to being nd than you might see quoiro posts being.

I can't really say much about the relationship thing as it's never been an area I have experience with, but if you're happy in your relationship and could communicate if there was any boundaries that needed setting regarding your sexual/romantic/platonic needs and wants, being quoiro doesn't necessarily need to affect anything, I don't think? It can just be a cool way to describe how you're feeling, either just to yourself or maybe to your partner as well if you felt comfortable talking about it or wanted to share any resources with them.

Hope this helped at least a bit! If you want to talk about things any further, you're always welcome to send another ask or message me on my main (louisemcbear).

[quoisitively-queer]

who made the quoi aroace flag?

I guess it depends which one you mean? There's a version that was made by @/double-a-plus, which has been used in a few edits as a quoi aroace flag but has since been redesigned to be the quoiro quoix flag due to a fair few people seeing quoi identities as not quite overlapping with aspec identities.

There is also a flag made by @/aroaesflags to be the quoi aroace flag but it's a combination of the quoiro and quoix flags rather than including the aro, ace or aroace flags at all. It also hasn't been used in as many edits but doesn't seem to have changed use unlike the first.

Hope one of these was what you were thinking of! If it wasn't and there are others, please feel free to let us know. These are the only two I could find.