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quarksdumpster · 11 hours
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The end of Search for Spock but they mess up the fal-tor-pan and McCoy and Spock’s minds wind up in each others’ bodies, SNW "Spock Amok" hijinks-style.
They don't want to worry anyone further, so the entirety of The Voyage Home is exactly the same, except Bones and Spock are in each other's bodies and desperately trying not to let anyone know:
Gillian: Do you like Italian? Bones in Spock's body: shit, does Spock like Italian? No. Yes. No. Jim: I love Italian and so do you. Bones: Of course. I forgot because I died.
Spock in Bones' body: please don't ask the doctor to run my station Him? I mean him, back at his post, like nothing happened. I don't know if you've got the whole picture but he isn't exactly working on all thrusters. Bones, sitting at Spock's station: this was such a bad plan, Spock. What's something that fucker would say uh...a joke is a story with a humourous climax.
Jim: Bones, you stay here. Spock in Bones' body: No way, ...somebody's gotta keep an eye on him! to make sure he doesn't do something massively illogical with my body
Bones, watching Jim sell the glasses Bones gave him: Excuse me, weren't those a birthday present from Doctor McCoy? asshole Jim: it's ok he won't know
Scotty: I've travelled millions of miles Spock: I must correct him; it bothers me too much Thousands.
Bones: I have to swear so badly but I can't. How would Spock swear? How would... They are not the hell your whales. close enough
Jim: You're acting a lot more formal and stiff than you used to. Bones, who is overcompensating by trying to act as Vulcan as possible: I cannot tell a lie.
Spock: you took my body swimming WHERE Bones: I had to ask the whales for their consent ok
The slingshot through time on the way back home throws them back into their own bodies, because that makes as much sense as anything else. They never tell anyone what happened.
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quarksdumpster · 3 days
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Okay this has been rattling around in my brain for a few days.
So, Spock calling them marshmellons is really friggin funny and adorable, but I don’t think Sarek would let his kid walk around saying the incorrect word for something.
Which means, either Amanda gave Spock marshmallows as like a secret “don’t tell your father” treat,
The subject of marshmallows never came up, thus Sarek never corrected him,
Sarek was feeling un-Vulcany and thought it was cute and let it run on for too long,
or Sarek also thinks they are called marshmellons, possibly because of misreading/misteanslating Earth Standered and Amanda never corrected him, thus leading him not to correct Spock.
Idk any thoughts?
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quarksdumpster · 9 days
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Let’s Make A Deal had a Star Trek episode, and it was hilarious
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Smashing redshirt piggy banks with a bat’leth
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Mary Chieffo showed up to speak some Klingon
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This woman’s IDIC earrings were on point
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People really went all out.
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This is not a zonk, this is an excellent prize (unless you are James T. Kirk)
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quarksdumpster · 11 days
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imagine saying this to someone you just did life-saving surgery on
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quarksdumpster · 14 days
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unrestrained summer fun
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quarksdumpster · 14 days
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Happy 52nd birthday to the franchise that ruined my life AND at the same time made it 1701 times better :D
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quarksdumpster · 14 days
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quarksdumpster · 15 days
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harry clearly playing jazz straight off of traditional sheet music entitled "jazz impromptu" instead of improvising off a jazz chart is one of the most character-revealing details about him. to me.
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quarksdumpster · 16 days
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most pathetic dude on ds9 was that one guy who joined the maquis and kept calling sisko to be like "haha you want to catch me so bad we're just like jean valjean and javert" and sisko was like man im gonna be honest this isn't that serious to me. i guess im kinda mad you joined the maquis but you're making it weird im really not trying to become your kismesis here.
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quarksdumpster · 16 days
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OH AND HERE’S THE COLORED VERSION
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quarksdumpster · 17 days
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my take on inter arma enim silent leges
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quarksdumpster · 18 days
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quarksdumpster · 18 days
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i got into star trek as a bit and now unfortunately ive realized its one of the most beautiful shows ever. its about love and family and exploration and warmth and possibilities and a hopeful and wonderful future. and its also so so fucking stupid
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quarksdumpster · 20 days
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huh stargate is also a running down corridors show isn't it?
and instead of every planet looking like a quarry in wales every planet looks like a forest in vancouver.
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quarksdumpster · 21 days
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the space seed episode of tos where they find khan and the ss botany bay is so funny because right off the bat you have kirk being like "yeah let's get that historian whats-her-name out there, maybe she can be useful for once" and it's like WOAH what's up with the liberal arts hate?? why is kirk being such a bitch to this lady for no reason. then you meet her and she's fucking obsessed with historical strongmen to the point of covering her walls in her own fanart. she lives on a spaceship in a utopian technofuture and she sleeps surrounded by busts of kings on purpose. her vibes are fashy and kirk is right to be a bitch, actually.
then they get to the botany bay and she's immediately driven to distraction by how horny she is for ricardo montalban under a thick layer of extra-dark foundation. sorry i'm gonna compare montalban with and without the makeup because it is SO distracting
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also she refers to sikhs in the past tense implying that at some point in the last two hundred years there was a genocide that they're just glossing over. since she also calls them a warrior race it's also possible that she's just racist and somewhere on board the enterprise there are sikh crew members who dislike her as much as kirk does.
anyway you can assume that this is her first actual away mission and she fumbled immediately because she was so hot for khan but it's much funnier if this isn't the first time this has happened. every time they have to interact with a historical earth artifact she gets so horned up thinking about being a tradwife that she's rendered speechless. spock stays polite but kirk can't stand her. by the time kirk found out she was the type of person to paint her own portraits of napoleon and roman emperors to hang in her quarters it was too late to send her back and request literally anyone else. he's supposed to court martial her but offers to let her stay on fashy eugenics planet just so he won't have to keep her on his ship anymore. it's unclear if he lets her take her paintings or jettisons them into space.
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quarksdumpster · 23 days
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This is a family photo; and you cannot tell me otherwise.
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quarksdumpster · 23 days
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What if the Gorn in SNW aren't a separate species from the ones in Arena but a separate culture? They need live food for their young, nobody said they need sentient food. The Hegemony are aggressively territorial but as long as you leave them alone they'll just stay home and eat space cows, while the ones who go out and eat people are a splinter group, with a Hirogen-like hunter culture. And the Hegemony isn't thrilled that they're running around pissing everybody off, because they don't want a war any more than the Federation does, but they don't do diplomacy so they wipe out the Xenomorph Gorn to keep them from starting one, Disney villain-style, so by the time of ToS all that's left is the Hegemony. Too many monocultures in Star Trek, is what I'm saying. People accuse SNW of bioessentialism but it's been there since ToS. DS9 is the big exception but even there it's mostly individuals who consciously reject the norms of their culture.
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