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you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .

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Cinio neu brechdanau?

anon, i don't know if you meant brecwast, but i am loving the implication that our two choices are dinner or sandwiches. the human condition.

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andrew tate declaring his intentions to run for uk prime minister even though we have a parliamentary system so you can't just 'run' for prime minister

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Okay. Let’s Talk About Victor Ketsueki.

I know it’s early, and there’s still a lot we don’t know about this guy, but I have some initial thoughts, so let’s jump in.

Interestingly, it’s not the character himself I have a problem with. This clearly incredibly insecure Ravenclaw boy who takes advantage of this thing that happened to him that makes him seem super cool and edgy to his classmates in order to get attention is a great idea. And honestly, I get such  “no, I TOTALLY don’t think he’s hot, I’m just ‘fascinated’” vibes from Corey toward Victor that it kind of made me laugh. My issues with Victor instead come back to vampires’ place in the Wizarding World overall. 

Keep reading

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once every month with 20k notes: *person so chronically online they've looped* i think we should consider agreeing with the status quo

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man this year is gonna be the year i either die or become someone else i dont know which one maybe both

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Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

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people always try to play the "but you're a lesbian" card whenever i say odd shit about men and i think that's because people are too cowardly to accept the truth: these are pure, objective observations. i don't have a leg in this race. when i say Gene Wilder has a kind of evil warlock's raw sexual charisma in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory you can't write me off as being too horny. because i'm literally not. i'm making a statement of fact here. and you'll just have to cope with it.

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the most annoying stage of burnout is when i want to write, and i have the urge to write, and somewhere in my skull are the words that want to be written, but they have to get through the cursed minotaur maze first and nobody remembered to bring string

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(mob boss voice) so here's the deal, see. you's gonna go home and get a gooood night's sleep, see? and you's gonna have sweet dreams and a reaaal nice rest. reaaal nice. max here will tuck you in *i motion to the thuggish goon behind me and he approaches you with a warm glass of milk held gingerly in his enormous hand*

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Hello!

I wanted to ask if you have a post and/or any specific thoughts about hats (fashion, style, etiquette, etc.) in HP (either in general or specifically in your Society/Ton AU). I'm not particularly good at drawing things worn on the head yet, but witches and wizards in general seem like the types to gravitate towards elaborate headgear (e.g., stuffed vultures) and I enjoy your posts/descriptions of clothing (and wish I could touch some of those textiles), so I thought I might ask if you had any specific thoughts!

Cheers, Momo

This is such a fun question!

Extremely elaborate headgear is absolutely a hobby (or, you know, a complex, teeth-bearing competition) for many members of the magical community. The larger and more distinguished one's hat the better. Augusta Longbottom caused teeth-gnashing envy when she first walked into an afternoon tea with a vulture on her hat. It was the millinery sensation of the season and no one ever forgot it.

Hats help make a statement, whether that statement is 'I love salamanders' or 'The Minister is a tit'.

Generally, I would say evening headgear is much fancier and less whimsical that daytime headgear. Daytime hats can have 17 dancing salamanders, but what if one of the poor dears fell into your soup at dinner? Evening headgear goes more toward very rich fabrics and trims and fewer live creatures.

The non-magically born have a really hard time with hats, generally, and go for smaller and less obvious options.

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Forget Pagan vs Christian nonsense in HP fanfic.

What Christmas at Hogwarts is really missing is competing wassail traditions, students being obnoxious about celebrating Advent properly (omg, you heathens you don't even have a proper Advent wreath also on Gaudete Sunday we wear rose), large numbers of migratory birds being sent to the Headmaster (Hagrid had a hell of a time with the swans), kissing balls appearing in random doorways, and parents refusing to send their children back until after the Epiphany.

Also tons of greenery in the windows, a candle being left alight in a window overnight, and complaints that the Yule log isn't large enough and how does anyone think anything that piddling will burn for the entire season, pray tell?

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Why are streaming services these days all named shit like Fubi and Hehu and lala

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sexy genre of making characters needlessly suffer for your enjoyment and yet its called "whump" the unsexiest name in the world

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This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

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Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you