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As I'm rewatching XWP atm this little headcanon scene came to me and wouldn't leave me alone till I drew it

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I need to just draw or write fanfic so I can capture the vibes but I’m picturing Xena staying in Lao Ma’s palace for months or years instead of weeks(?) (the timeline is such a mess)

She’s just stubborn and vulnerable and trying to cope with being disabled and Lao Ma is equally stubborn and strong and compassionate.

I’m just picturing Xena having bad days, days when she can hardly stand up without being in literal agony. Just forcing herself to put on as brave a front as she can manage until something so innocuous- a tiny pebble or another person walking slightly too close- destroys the mask and she just collapses into Lao Ma’s arms. Lao Ma who at first would have had no idea, but so quickly learned the little tells- the way Xena’s face scrunches up when she thinks no one’s watching, her half-second hesitation during their training, the way she spends just slightly too long getting ready in the morning.

Picturing Xena being suspicious of physical intimacy at first, backing away on instinct until she realized Lao Ma only wanted to take her hand to guide her. That she only reached for her face to soothe her. That she only touches her legs to work on healing her. Learning how to reciprocate in simple ways.

Thinking of it taking much longer for Lao Ma to heal Xena, that she can’t do it fully without Xena’s own mental strength. That it’s draining and exhausting and a version of Xena with less pride and anger would apologize again and again and again. Chipping away a little at the time as she tries to mend the bone and feeling pained at Xena’s escaped screams of agony, even as she tries to hold it back.

I’m picturing Lao Ma presenting her with her own version of orthotics and Xena absolutely lashing out and losing her shit and Lao Ma not dealing with it. She only gives her a pitying look and leaves and Xena’s furious but with no outlet so she gives in the curiosity and notices all of the small details Lao Ma put into the handiwork. The way her name is so lovingly etched in cursive and the gold detailing, and the way putting them on helps. Xena wearing them the next day and Lao Ma just stroking her cheek and saying nothing else even if her eyes light up when she notices.

Picturing Xena full of rage and fire some days snapping at Lao Ma in a way she has too much self respect to consistently be compassionate towards. Her destructive nature manifesting itself in snarls and trying to goad Lao Ma into fights and leaving the orthotics in the corner of her room and pushing herself until collapse during training even as she knows this will ruin the one good thing she has right now.

Lao Ma washing her hair every night until Xena eventually starts to return the favor, even if she rationalizes it as evening the playing field. As if she doesn’t run her fingers through Lao Ma’s hair and imagine it in luxurious twists and braids and curls.

Picturing Lao Ma learning to see through Xena’s angry outbursts and violence towards Lao Ma’s husband, just holding her and promising that she doesn’t need Xena’s protection, that knowing she’ll be remembered by her is enough. That she doesn’t need to rule with an iron fist, and she doesn’t want to.

Thinking about Lao Ma desperate to teach Xena how to release her hatred because she knows levitating will at least ease some of her physical pain, but absolutely refusing to tell Xena why

Thinking of Lao Ma realizing she loves this warlord and having to reconcile her beliefs with who Xena had been and who she knows she can be. Trying fervently to mold Xena into her potential even as she fights against it

Thinking of Lao Ma calling Xena “my warrior princess” so affectionately, even when she can barely stand, and Xena genuinely not understanding how she can believe she’s a warrior anymore. The frustration and confusion she refuses to verbalize and the empty ache as she realizes she so badly wants to earn that nickname, so badly wants to be that person.

It’s so addictive- Xena at one of her most physically vulnerable moments being forced to rely on the wholly unearned goodwill of a stranger and still not being able to swallow her pride. Still being unable to let go of anger because who would she even be without it? How would she be able to punish everyone who deserves it, protect amphipolis, get her revenge?

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Where my “I watch Xena; I am watching Xena; I watched Xena; I was watching Xena; I have watched Xena; I have been watching Xena; I had watched Xena; I had been watching Xena; I will watch Xena; I will be watching Xena; I will have watched Xena; I will have been watching Xena.” people at?

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Happy Ides of March! (for real this time)

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the ides of march

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XENA, played by Lucy Lawless, made her first appearance 30 years ago today (March 13th, 1995) on "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys"

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Every day every day

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🤬

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Yo she is so sassy I can’t.

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Legacy

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Lmao.

He’s all:

*Why* am I *playing* in the ~mud~ ☹️

Man Hyperion is such a bitch

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Xena: Warrior Princess (1995 - 2001) ⤷ Fave Episodes: S3 EP18 “Fins, Femmes and Gems”

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~*Incarcerated*~

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Everything.