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Also for those of you who actually care, I've decided that there's nothing to worry about between justin his close friend who's a girl. She's seems really sweet from what he's told me about her and I'm like 95% of the way to fully completely being done worrying about it and the last 5% will come when I know that she knows I'm a real person who exists. Because she's super sweet and I know that if she sees me as an actual human she would never be able to do something to hurt me so that's cool. It's nice to not worry about that but now my anxietys doing this thing where it needs something to worry about but everything's all good so there's nothing to worry about so it just shoots ambiguous bursts of anxiety everywhere like right now how I'm super anxious about literally nothing and I should be asleep but I'm not.

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Update. Justin thought we were official this whole time. When I asked him what we were a month and a half ago he said he tells people we're "talking" so I thought that was just what we were doing this whole time because he never actually used the word girlfriend, but anyway now we're official or we've been official but from this point on we're definitely official so that's cool

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Sometimes I forget how annoyingly self righteous all of Tumblr is and then I go back on it and remember why I haven't been on in a month.

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I just want justin to officially ask me to be his official girlfrienddddd. We're already exclusive and talking about the future so why not just put a title on it?

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He gave me his sweatshirt but we're still not official. I totally thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend because we went on this really cute walk on a path next to a really cute lake at sunset and it seemed like he was going to ask me but nah. Hopefully he does soon. I really want to let the world know that I'm dating someone so perfect and sexy and kind hearted. He's honestly the most mature person I know. He has this way of getting people to see other perspectives and he's so wise and mature. I think that may be my favorite thing about him.

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Tomorrow I get to go rape the AP psych exam right after getting raped by the AP chem exam. Wish me luck

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Did I tell you guys he wrote me a poem a few days ago? My lifelong dreams of emo relationship goals have come true. Now he just needs to make me a mix tape of emo songs that remind him of me

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Today I was on my period so we did anal and it was really good. He seemed really happily surprised that I suggested it though because I guess the girls he's been with in the past have just used their period as an excuse to not have to have sex. I think I just scored major bae points with him. I'm the best girl a guy can have most of the time honestly. I treat him so well and he treats me amazingly in return. I'm really happy I have him

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Today I told him he should just stay at my house forever and not go home. He said then he'd fail school. I said school doesn't matter. He said that then he'd be a trophy husband and I'd have to be the breadwinner with some high paying job. It's such a small comment but the fact that in his hypothetical future we're married shows that he's serious about me even though we don't have an official title yet. And it makes me feel a lot less weird because I've lowkey been thinking about what a future with him would be like too.

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