puffyhairedhipster

[puffyhairedhipster]

When ur mutuals w/ some cool ass people rb if u agree

[puffyhairedhipster]

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

[puffyhairedhipster]

there are certain . . . downsides. to giving the batman your phone number. and being known, to his family, as nothing more detailed than "that one sorcerer"

it leads to certain . . . miscoummunications regarding what you do

constantine: *answers phone* who is this dick: is this the magic man? constantine: constantine: i desperately wish it weren't dick: good. how quickly can you get to gotham and erase the memories of an entire gala full of people constantine: *internally* what the fuck what the fuck what the-- constantine: uh, never. that isn't a part of my skillset dick: dammit. booze-induced memory loss, then constantine: im pretty sure that's not medically recommended dick: neither is the other option, concussions for all constantine: what even- dick: *hangs up* constantine: *bangs head on table* i'm sure i'll hear about this in the news tomorrow

constantine: *picks up phone while smoking* zatanna, if this is another prank ca-- damian: John. constantine: *chokes on cig* what the fu-- damian: how much would one have to pay for you to magically repair a tooth constantine: constantine: *morbidly curious* repair how much? damian: put it back in the mouth constantine: you do know i ain't a dentist, right damian: i am fully aware. price? constantine: dude i can't even do that. as i said, i ain't a denti-- damian: *hangs up* constantine: i gotta stop givin' out my number.

phone: *rings* constantine: *groans and lets it go to voicemail* phone: *rings again* constantine: *lets it go to voicemail again* phone: *Rings a--* constantine: *picks up* DAMMIT YOU MOTHERFUCKER, I AIN'T A MAID AT EVERY SUPERHERO'S BECK AND CALL-- jason: not a hero constantine: --ESPECIALLY WHEN YA DON'T PAY FOR SH---wait what jason: not a hero constantine: constantine: and what, may i ask, the fuck are you? jason: mob boss and walking corpse constantine: constantine:

constantine: okay, mister mob boss, i'll bite. tha fuck do ya want jason: hypothetically speaking-- constantine: fuck jason: --were one to have encountered the loch ness monster-- constantine: fuck jason: --but living in a lasarus pit-- constantine: *stress smoking* FUCK jason: --what would one do constantine: FUCK

[puffyhairedhipster]

"The Imperialists may put a man on the moon, but they'll never put a man in Havana" United States 1971

[puffyhairedhipster]

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 ↳ Arthur Morgan

[puffyhairedhipster]

i am unfortunately a sucker for “kissing practice” that escalates to making out with a little too much interest. and escalates. and escalates.

[puffyhairedhipster]

im still losing it over the "how did high schoolers write 600 word essays before chatgpt" post. 600 words. that is nothing. that is so few words what do you mean you can't write 600 words. 600 words. this post right here is 45 words.

[puffyhairedhipster]

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

[puffyhairedhipster]

mushroom chat just dropped

[puffyhairedhipster]

touching some grass after 5 full hours of reading fanfiction…..

[puffyhairedhipster]

I just wanna say that I went to Boston this last week to experience the Rainbow Six Siege Invitational. It was an amazing experience and I’m glad that there’s a gaming community that is so inclusive. I got to meet great cosplayers, my fave players, my fave YouTubers and they were all SOO nice. I’m so glad I got to experience this whole week with the love of my life and one of my bestest friends.

[puffyhairedhipster]

I WISH I'D KNOWN HOW MUCH YOU LOVED ME.

I WISH I CARED ENOUGH TO KNOW.

I'M SORRY EVERY SONG'S ABOUT YOU,

THE TORTURE OF SMALL TALK WITH SOMEONE YOU USED TO LOVE

[puffyhairedhipster]

An important PSA to remember!

[ID in Alt]

[puffyhairedhipster]

here me out guys, that one scene of Bruce strip dancing in the Iceberg Lounge BUT it’s SexyBack by Justin Timberlake

[puffyhairedhipster]

Hal: Hey, did you guys see the dude I brought in today? The drug dealer? 81 years old. I think it's the oldest collar of my entire career.

Ollie: I once arrested a 96-year-old for flashing. I was terrified he'd die in my back seat. Or flash me.

Bruce: My oldest collar was 78 but the Joker venom made her fight like she was 20.

Clark: What about two 50-year-old twins? Does that count as a 100-year-old?

Ollie: No good.

Bruce: No.

Barry, walking in: You talking oldest bags? 68.

Ollie: That's not that old.

Barry: Yeah, but I was only twenty.

Hal: Twenty? Were you even the Flash then?

Barry: No, it was before I got my superpowers.

Everyone: *confused*

Bruce, realizing: Barry isn't talking about his oldest arrest.

Everyone: Eww!

[puffyhairedhipster]

Damian: *searching under the couch*

Damian: I've lost my marbles.

Tim: Everyone suspected as much.

Damian: Well, I hope somebody finds them.

[later that night]

Damian, jolting awake: HEY!

[puffyhairedhipster]

you ever read a fic so good you just gotta sit there and contemplate your entire existence and everything you’ve ever read before?