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Always love how much folklore especially creature folklore emphasizes that there is a way for you to win. These are the steps to ensure the dead don't rise: take them out through a hole in the wall and give them iron shoes. Vampires cannot abide sunlight. If you hear a dog howl on a churchyard path turn around and get home as fast as you can. Iron and salt and the colour red. None of this doomed idea, the world is incomprehensible but if you're a bit clever you'll survive it just fine, there's always ways out.
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I meant to do a VERY SERIOUS reread of the comic but then I couldn't help myself
what do you MEAN this isn't my best post ever
A Comprehensive List Of Jack's Canon Chirps
"Bittle, HEADS UP!" [Bitty passes out] "…Or get into fetal position at central ice. That's also an option."
"You've never seen the sun rise from a rink, eh? Thought you were a figure skating champion."
Bitty: "A fist bump! I didn't know you did those." Jack: "Ha - you gotta work for them."
"The sad thing is, I can tell he's lying not because of the library part? But because he'd never leave a pie unattended."
"Oh and Bittle, before I forget. This summer? Eat more protein."
"When you get Youtube famous don't go out and chirp me all over the internet, eh? 'Night."
"How many of those tweets do you start with oh my god y'all?"
"It's way too easy to make you laugh. Make sure you tweet that." [looks over Bitty's shoulder to make sure he tweets that]
[texts Bitty a smiley face] [follows up with:] "Sorry that was a typo."
"You only tweeted twice while we were working, Bittle. That's a record."
[Bitty gets knocked over] "I guess you're looking for extra checking practice, eh, Bittle?"
"We should get going and let Bittle here text about his walk to class."
Bitty: "E-excuse you, but my kitchen is no place for checking!" Jack: "…Your kitchen?" Bitty: "Well, the kitchen! Now move your big -- uhm." Jack: "My big…?"
[At Thanksgiving] "All that turkey's gonna make you slow for tomorrow, Chowder."
[To a kid wearing a Brad Marchand jersey while asking for Jack's autograph] "You know this isn't me, right?"
"17." [At Bitty's confusion:] "That's the number of pies you baked in September. In case you were wondering where your time went."
"I'm sure you'd be done [with your history essay] too if you had tweeted it. Is that an option?"
[looks at Bitty's tweets] "I said where'd you get that camera not is that the camera you use. Come on, Bittle."
[finds Bitty's surprise cookies] "I'm surprised your cookies got through costumes Bittle."
"I told my mom about all your tweeting? She says you're not following her. I'm more surprised than offended, Bittle."
"Shitty, don't you think I should get a tweet transcript or something since he quotes me so much? For legal purposes."
"Hey, Bittle. That Daily reporter didn't rope you into an interview after that jump?"
[after meeting Farmer] "She was nice, eh? Cute. …I bet you're texting about our lunch now."
[Nursey accidentally hits a kid in the face with his hockey bag] "Nice check, Nurse."
[in the middle of the night] "I figured you'd be up baking a pie or three."
[Bitty gets shoe-checked] "Hey, it's no shoes, no shirt, no service, Bittle."
"Whose shoulders are you going to sit on at Spring C, Bittle?"
[Shitty tears up while kissing the ice] "Crying a bit there, eh?"
[SMH buy Bitty a new oven] Bitty: "I need to bake something right this second!" Jack: "Stop crying first."
"If we move the kitchen table out, you can bring your bed in."
[About graduating] "The biggest change is probably my diet. Less pie."
"And hey, it's a bit different than you and Lardo, eh? Since everyone knew you were in love with her since sophomore year."
[during Falcs Faceoff] Teammate: "Heard you've never lost one a these, I'm scared." Jack: "Yeah, you should be."
[Gets chirped for dating Bitty] "This is a Samwell hockey record. Chirps lasting longer than the ones re: Holster & Esther S." Holster: "…Jack." Jack: ":)"
Nursey: "Yo, Bitty do you remember any French?" Jack: "No." Bitty: "I can speak for myself, Mr. Zimmermann." Jack: "Well. Not in French."
[To Marty & Thirdy] "Hauling your kids around on a sled just about wore you guys out, eh?"
[To Tater] "Potato champ needs more sleep, eh?"
"Bitty? Hey, bud, come on, say something -" [Bitty passes out] "Or you can pass out at center ice. I'm getting deja vu."
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everyone who's enjoyed this post should read how to survive camping by bonnie quinn NOW
Always love how much folklore especially creature folklore emphasizes that there is a way for you to win. These are the steps to ensure the dead don't rise: take them out through a hole in the wall and give them iron shoes. Vampires cannot abide sunlight. If you hear a dog howl on a churchyard path turn around and get home as fast as you can. Iron and salt and the colour red. None of this doomed idea, the world is incomprehensible but if you're a bit clever you'll survive it just fine, there's always ways out.
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I think the most damage this site has done to me is making me think "It's fucken wimdy" when it is, in fact, fucken wimdy outside.
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Suzy: I've been very careful not to directly lie to Lisa. Collin: *stressed* I believe lying by omission is still lying... Suzy: Well, I don't! :)
#original: yourplayersaidwhat#pnat#paranatural#suzy starchman#collin sloinne#lisa paranatural#<- previous tags#funny#incorrect quotes
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Max: *sarcastically* Oh yeah. I can sense it. This Corner Store definitely has ghosts, 100 percent. Dad Puckett: No joke, half of why I chose to move to Mayview was all the ghosts! Max: ????
#original: Bunt!: Striking out on Financial Aid#pnat#paranatural#maxwell puckett#peter puckett#<- previous tags#funny#incorrect quotes
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Collin: What about the overdue library fines?? Suzy: That's a problem I can solve with violence <3
#original: yourplayersaidwhat#paranatural#pnat#suzy starchman#collin sloinne#<- previous tags#funny#incorrect quotes
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i love this song
#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgrim#young neil#neil nordegraf#<- previous tags#art#movie stills
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Max: Hey, you're short. Zoey: I'm a small child, what's your excuse?
#original: one tree hill#paranatural#pnat#zoey puckett#maxwell puckett#<- previous tags#funny#incorrect quotes
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lmao work takes IT security so seriously not only do we not have wifi on premises, my work laptop doesn't even have a wifi card
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parse doesn't fight bitty because he knows when he's lost but him and holster?
cage match.
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#oh this style is so cute op!#mwah#putting this pillbug of a man back under the stone i upturned#there you go little guy#*steps on the rock*#oops#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#<- previous tags#scott pilgrim#art
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Collin: Kill me nowwwwwwwww.
Suzy: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.
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Jean Garcia: He's real, Mid Western, relatable, attractive-
Rick Spender: Thank you!
Jean Garcia: -in a bland, non-threatening sort of way.
Rick Spender: I'm sorry?
#original: for the people#<- previous tags#richard spender#jean garcia#paranatural#pnat#funny#incorrect quotes
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And my second story is up! I'm proud of how both stories shook out, and it was really fun writing not from inspiration per se but being given a scenario and having to work it out.
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