but dad
my depression isn’t something that can be fixed
with panadol or cough syrup
sometimes, not even fluexotine cures it
it isn’t something that I want
Sometimes I feel on top of the world
as if I’ve conquered it all but no I haven’t
it’s an illusion
but just enough to make me feel something more again
dad I’m not being lazy,
it takes away everything of, and from me
it lives in my head, on top of all the existing
conditions that I already have
dad,
cancer within the heart kill
and so do this
except that it can’t be fucking seen
please believe me, I’m doing everything I can
but dad,
it’s killing me
excerpts #2
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she shaved all her hair
because you used to run your fingers through those locks you used to say was the most beautiful your eyes ever seen
bet you're saying the same and more to another girl
she smashed her own heart against those mud and trampled on it more than she could count
she changed her phone because she couldn't bear to unlock it
just to see remains of a couple that almost should've could've been
a guy destroyed a girl, and she destroyed herself
excerpts #1
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Just Breathe
“Just Breathe”
Whenever the pain is to much to bear
Whenever you’ve given all you can spare
When the sights in front of you are too gory to see
Remember to close your eyes and just breathe
Whenever your smoke rises to high
Whenever you think about wanting to die
Whenever you lose and drop to your knees
Stand up again and remember to breathe
Whenever you feel like you’re becoming undone
Whenever you feel like everyone is gone
After you lost all the blood you can bleed
Stitch yourself up again and remember to breathe
Whenever you’re lost and and can’t find direction
Whenever your shadow stops casting reflections
Whatever egg shells you broke beneath your feet
Buy a new carton and remember to breathe
Whenever you feel like there’s nothing left
Whenever you have days you want to forget
Whenever you feel like screaming in sheets
Lower your voice and remember to breathe
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems
And this sounds absurd coming from me
With the lives we lead, but I’ve already seen
Things aren’t as bad as long as you breathe
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