Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
Joven: I'm not mad; I'm happy! I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.
Boze: That explains your shoes.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wes: Come on, let's hug it out.
Joven: I would rather learn to play the harp.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lasercorn: They tell me I got something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But, uh, the truth is this lustrous hair and dimpled chin are merely chapter one. I'm a veritable cornucopia of high-octane maladies, such as outrageous intelligence syndrome. And a little obsessive successful disorder.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joven:I am the best observer that you know.
Wes: Last week you thought a sponge in the smosh office was an owl.
Joven: If you stopped buying them in bird colors that would stop happening.
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is it just a rule of thumb in the smosh fandom that we would all die for soft boy Damien Haas?
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shayne: [gesturing to Damien] My name is Shayne Topp, this is my partner Jonathan Jacob Jingly Schmidt.
Ian: Are you saying his name is John Jacob Jinglheimer Schmidt?
Shayne: That is correct, sir. We used to share the name. I changed mine because of all the people shouting when I went out.
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Damien: Jail's no fun. I'll tell you that much.
Lasercorn: Oh. You've been?
Damien: Once. In Monopoly.
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Courtney: You don't feel anything?
Ian: Closure... Indifference... Hunger...
Courtney: Wow. You're like a robot.
Ian: Thank you! I got the same comment on my E-Harmony page. So it must be true!
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Damien: I'm telling you, the cat is NOT my new best friend!
Shayne: [from the back seat] then how come he gets to ride shotgun?
182 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ian(unprompted): How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mari: Great. Now you've gotten me kicked out of a funeral. Just add it to the list. Kicked out of a Petsmart, kicked out of Santa's village, kicked out of the Salvation Army...
Lasercorn: Dishonorably discharged!
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shayne: Are you crazy?
Olivia: I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shayne: I'm Shayne ToppDawg and this is my partner Damien "TT" Showbiz.
Damien: The extra T is for extra talent.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joven: I need to get something off my chest.
Lasercorn: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Damien(during board af at one point): The chips say you're a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Damien: Are you in my apartment?
Boze: Please. I haven't snuck into your apartment for weeks. Which reminds me, you're all out of peanut butter.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lasercorn: Mari, don't be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Marzipan.
Wes: It's Azkaban.
Lasercorn: I've heard it both ways.
16 notes
·
View notes