professional-codefreak

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welp, looks like Payday’s getting some more stuff

welcome back, you shitty-ass money-maker of a video game, you

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[professional-codefreak]

PAYDAY 2 turned 6 today. (Okay, yesterday; I’m a bit late.)

I wasn’t there for its release. It was late November 2014 when I first masked up. My crew and I ran together for a few years, before things fell apart. After we went our separate ways, only I remained.

I’ve seen this game grow and change so much over five years. The Diamond, The Bomb. The Hype Train. Hoxton’s Revenge. THE Crimefest to end all Crimefests. Microtransactions coming, then going. The Search for Kento. Locke and Load. The Secret, then The White House, and The End.

This game is a broken, buggy, unbalanced mess, and it’s been a wild ride from here to now.

And I wouldn’t give it up for the world. Here’s to years more heisting ahead.

Happy birthday, PAYDAY 2.

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bain: nice

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planking like it’s 2011

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Crimefest 2018: Part 1: Hoxton Breakout 2: Bain Breakout: This Time We’re Breaking Out Bain: The Squeakquel: Electric B

* this is it, the beginning of the end * the Dentist was the Bad Guy aaaaall aloooooooong * and working with Murkywater to keep Bain is Mega-Alcatraz, apparently * unique Murky troops! like the Russians, but not * so there’s this Mega-Alcatraz of the coast of... wherever, I didn’t pay attention, and it’s full of 1,000 Murkies for four prisoners * this is the worst Escapists map I’ve ever played * "Kento... Bain is escaping. Stop him. >:3″ * Bain proceeds to tear shit up and kill a billion Murkies with his bare hands while infected with a Dramatic Life-Threatening Illness, but unfortunately it’s all off-screen so it doesn’t count * And we were there too, I guess

IT’S HIM

OUR BOY

oh and kento’s dead; rip that subplot

* bain/locke best ship 2018 * timed escort mission to the escape, but mission-critical npcs are invincible to bullets in this game so they just padded it out with waiting objectives * wherein it’s revealed that Bain indeed does have Dramatic Life-Threatening Illness Syndrome, prompting a flashback to a very important heist that Actually Happened, several years ago... * oh, and The Dentist is apparently some centuries-old being tasked with guarding the blah blah blah too much gunfire, and he’s going after Vlad and The Elephant next, probably * 7/10, needs less guards

[professional-codefreak]

Good News

codefreak55.tumblr.com is now personal junk, this blog is now professional-codefreak.tumblr.com and is now all payday, just like I said it would be

go follow me there, all... nine? of you, please

[professional-codefreak]

I Have Made A Mistake

(but only a little one)

Specifically, trying to build a tumblr based around tongue-in-cheek reviews of the updates of a game in the final year of its being updated, which was... very short-sighted of me

Maybe I can do heist retro-reviews and skill build show-offs to pump another six weeks of content out over three and a half years

Still gonna cover the Crimefest heists, for sure, just hang in there; I haven’t done the White House yet, but I got stuff for Hell’s Island and No Mercy

P.S. Gonna be renaming this blog to something else - haven’t decided yet (maybe professional-codefreak after my Steam) - and use the “codefreak55″ handle for personal/non-payday stuff; expect changes whenever

[professional-codefreak]

(Slightly Late) Talkings on Watershatter

Joy

* Exists * Perk deck’s kinda neat * “I need some more computers here :|”

Shacklethorne Auction

* umbrellas and tuxes oh boooooooooooy * and boy oh boy, it’s a stealth heist * 40 bags and a hell of a lot of room to run around * seriously, there’s at least two escape routes for every room you can enter; damn near impossible to get cornered unless you get careless * guards are all neatly cordoned off into distinct sections too, so it’s easy to control areas and predict movements * any stealth heist that I can figure out within an hour is probably too easy

* press f to pay respects * oh also it can be loud too but who cares * 9/10, players need umbrellas too

oh right also

what the SHIT

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arms

[professional-codefreak]

payday box art parodies are apparently the New Thing now

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flawless physical security courtesy of @qwak-yro and @crookperkdeck

[professional-codefreak]

Spring Break 2018′s done now, so here’s my thoughts on the new heists.

Breakin’ Feds * Dumb name * Car Shop 2: Electric Boogaloo * I swear to God the guards teleport around corners just to trap you * Or at least just follow you around instead of pathing randomly * And sometimes they freeze in the worst places, because Overkill still hasn’t fixed pathing after four years apparently * Garrett is a Real Boy now though; he has a model and everything * And you can screw with him by turning the lights off and on, that’s pretty fun * And the loot is another Illuminati Box; yeah okay * At least we hear Chains and Duke talk about donuts; that’s nice

Henry’s Rock * Literally the warehouse from Indiana Jones * COPS EVERYWHERE * NOWHERE IS SAFE * NOWHERE IS SACRED * I now know how it feels to be gangraped and it is much less enjoyable than I was anticipating * More Illuminati Boxes * Including the one we stole before * Kinda feels like Overkill’s just revisiting the Box(es) because they needed a plot point to latch onto and that was just vague enough to work? * That seems more their style than having this planned years in advance * You also get to cook Science Meth in order to burn a door down * I hear there’s also a giant laser cannon but I haven’t seen it yet (I keep getting the Science Meth objective) * The ending is literal hell; more cops everywhere, more no cover, and oh yeah there’s SWAT Turrets * They used to be weak turrets like the ones in Scarface, but then Overkill decided the heist wasn’t hard enough already and buffed them to full strength * Very painful, 2/10 still better than Bomb: Forest

oh yeah also

whomst the F U C K

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so graze is pretty fun

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reblog and write in the tags what the latest dlc was when you first started playing PAYDAY 2

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actual footage of actual events that actually happened