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Ateez Mafia
Pairing : Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ) x Female!Reader Genre : .. Uh. Angst Ig Word Count : 6081
The sun had disappeared from the sky hours ago, taking away the warmth in the air with it, consequently raising goosebumps along the pale skin of your exposed arms and legs as you forced one foot in front of the other down the hauntingly quiet street. The city was never lifeless, even at this hour, but on this particular night the normally motion and sound filled air hummed with far less intensity than it had during the day, and any of the normal inhabitors of the street had long since disappeared along with the sun, their expensively shoed feet carrying them back into the lives they had beyond their businesses on this specific street. And where their well dressed selves had rushed across the pavement, your feet dragged with heavy and slow listless footsteps, like bags filled with heavy rocks dragged at the heels of your feet. While they were more than likely going back to a home, and loved ones to share their power and wealth with, you were trying desperately to ignore the aching gap of darkness inside your chest. You couldn’t blame them though, if you had a warm home filled with love and happiness to escape to, you would too. Although, perhaps some of them just didn’t want to be out here at night, where the thugs and hardened criminals would begin to lurk in the shadows that they avoided in the daylight, silent and sly threats waiting for the cover and anonymity that the darkness of night brought. It would be hard to draw the line over those kind of men were more dangerous than the kind of people that waited back at your home for you… your family. To you, the people in the shadows out here weren’t threats, though unpleasant to deal with, they were definitely not the same threat to you that they were to other teenage girls. Tonight wasn’t the first time you’d been out here at this time, and in the past it had been for bigger problems than those that you faced right now, so the unnatural lack of bustle and activity didn’t overly bother you. Likewise the exposure to the now unfamiliar territory and people didn’t worry you, you had tricks up your sleeve to handle situations that you didn’t have an upper hand in. Not a skillset that you were entirely proud of being in possession of, although it was somewhat of a blessing to you in situations like these. It had been almost 3 days now that you had been alone, and thought you were fully aware of your capability to look after yourself, it was still surprising how well luck had held out on your side for the last 72 hours. Somewhere behind you a bus squealed to a halt, the brakes sending dirty fumes into the air that made you choke, accompanied by the loud protests of the driver at the owner of the sleek dark car that had been the cause of the sudden stop in traffic. You turned away from the scene, forcing yourself to hold your breath until you were far enough away that the eye watering scent of the bus fumes wouldn’t send you into a coughing fit. The throbbing in your left ankle was a harsh reminder to that that however you’d thought things were going for you up until now, they were no longer going in that direction and the need to find somewhere to lay low for a few hours, even catch up on the sleep that your body desperately craved and needed, itched deeply in your weary bones. In the time since you’d last been in your own home you’d gotten less than full night of sleep, a luxury that only slowed you down considerably in your desperate attempts to evade your family and all your ‘responsibilities’ to them. You hunched your shoulders forward and turned your face to the side as a young couple, probably too engrossed in one another’s faces to even notice you anyway, wandered past. All of a sudden, too many people were out for you to continue at your earlier pace while maintaining your own safety and identity, it was fast becoming impossible to keep your status under the radar. Every passing figure could be someone working for your family and even if you didn’t run into one of them, the city was full of people exactly like them. And the ones not working for your family were possibly even worse, by far more dangerous to you. On a normal day you might have scoffed at the minor inconvenience of coming from a famous family, although on a normal day you tried very hard to forget that you were from a family that was famous for all the wrong kinds of things. Your family had been orchestrated into a dirty business sometime years before you were even born and yet you’d been unwillingly dragged right along into the thick of it from the moment you’d been old enough to speak. The idea that you belonged to a family that insisted on referring to themselves ‘mafia’, as if having a label to direct the blame of blood pain and death that followed them around was something to wear proudly on your sleeve, was in fact laughable to you. A bubble of laughter inevitably became ensnared in your throat, tasting bitterly of all things you despised - you’d always stuck out like a giant, bright yellow flag in your family, amiss of the violence that most of them had acquired either by circumstance or blood. Despite your disregard for the family business, they had managed to create quite a spectacle of themselves, and not only in the dark world of drugs. No matter how hard you had tried previously in your life to escape the constant messes that your family laid out for you, you always ended right back in the midst of it. An unwilling but perfect victim in their plans and manipulation; their horrifying acts and lack of sincerity or remorse were endless. You shook your head to clear it, a neon lit sign dangling haphazardly above the nearby doorway into a less than appealing looking building grabbed your attention and you slowed your admittedly already slow pace to catch what the painfully brightly lit words said, praying the change in pace didn’t beam you out to anyone potentially paying attention to the street. Cheap Rooms. Of course. The first option that came along was a building that looked like it was barely standing the strong wind buffeting around and against it. Some of the windows appeared smashed, whilst others simply just had boarding over them, indicating either damage to the glass panes or suspicion that damage would be caused; both options were cause for concern if you were going to be spending a night, or even a few hours, in one of the rooms beyond them. But at this point you were desperate and this was probably the best option you were going to find tonight, or at all, and it would be incredibly idiotic to pass it up when the heaviness of every one your limbs was making each step a fresh difficulty to face. You swallowed down the nauseatingly ominous feeling that the building gave you and shouldered your way through the surprisingly heavy wooden door that creaked loudly in protest, clearly rarely used and not very well secured on the hinges for something of its weight. A young woman, maybe only a few years older than your twenty, looked up from the fold of her arms, where her had been resting comfortably, at the sound of the door. Her wide brown eyes betrayed her surprise as she stood up slowly, providing beyond a doubt that this was a rarely frequented place that I should be running away from, not eagerly enquiring about the cheap room sign. “What brings you to this kind of place to spend the night?” She asked casually as she handed me the room key in exchange for the bundle of notes that I’d tried to non suspiciously seperate from the definitely suspicious and sizeable wad of money in my pocket, the key nearly dropping onto the counter that barely qualified as anything more than a long-abandoned school desk. It was the first exchange of words between you that was not strictly related to the renting of the room you were now gripping the key to in your sweating palm. Whether your skin was sweating because you were nervous or because your muscles were trembling with the need to have your weight off them, you didn’t know. Not that it mattered. Her words were casual, but her eyes were too curious for comfort as you shoved the key into your back pocket, ignoring the hard throb in your foot as your shifted your weight to display your discomfort at her question, hoping it was enough to dissuade her from asking more. “I’m desperate.” You murmured, avoiding eye contact with her. As easily as you knew the right groups of people on the street to avoid running into or ending up in a conflict with, you knew that it was stupid to place any trust in anyone you spoke to outside of your family. As messed up as your family were, they were about as far as your trust circle extended by instinct, mostly because of the things you knew others were capable of. Though this woman with her soft rounded face and smile lines looked a lot more like someone you could trust, coming from a family like yours meant you knew that people like her were the exact ones that you should worry about most. People that smiled and spoke in sugary voices, all soft edges and seemingly carefree questions; they were the ones who would trade you up without hesitation for money, for sex, for whatever drug it was that they were addicted to. Those were the ones with the most to hide. There were few people that you could trust on instinct when you grew up knowing things that young girls shouldn’t ever have to know and there were few things that could shake you when you grew up with that knowledge. So although your soul ached with a childlike need that had never been filled, to lean against the young in front of you and unleash the dam of tears and thoughts and worries of the last twenty years of your life, you knew better. She shrugged and nodded easily at my response, either knowing better than to prod at the less than satisfactory answer or not caring enough to get herself involved in someone else’s worries. ** The inside of the building was a haven compared to the outside, the hallway carpeted with plush red coverings and the walls a soft creamy white that emanated a clean smell rather than the horrible scents you’d been expecting to find lurking in some darkened hallways. Though the doors looked a little worse for wear, they were intact and seemed functional enough at a glance. A small set of ten steps led up to another floor, the one that the room you’d booked was located on, at your request. The height gave you a slight sense of advantage, you would be able to hear someone coming up and down these creaking steps in the night no matter how light their step was. Which gave you about an extra ten seconds to figure out firstly whether they were footsteps that you needed to be worried about and secondly a way out of the building that wasn’t the stairs. Which judging by the lack of stairs at the opposite end of the hallway, there wasn’t. It shouldn’t be something that a 20 year old needed to worry about, whether members of her own family, mafia or not, would find her in the night and either kill her or take her back to the last place on earth she ever wanted to step foot in again; home. Alas, the world worked in strange and more often than note, horrible, ways. So tonight would no doubt be the longest yet of the past three you’d spent running. Now stationary and not having the advantage of moving constantly from one spot to another, you were more vulnerable than you had been since you even started running in the first place. Not that it mattered, because no matter how hard or fast or far you ran, eventually you were going to end up back in front of him. If anything, running now was more about causing difficulties for them, because you were out of time and every knew it. In the sense of self preservation, you were taking the least advisable course of action in continuing to evade them. The best that was left to do was make it an interesting end to the game that you’d been playing with them your whole life. Or the only parts of your life that you could remember at least, which was essentially all of it. After a few moments of pausing in front of various doors on your floor to check the metal numbers displayed, you found the one with a number on it that matched the silver key resting on the flat on your palm, glinting under the warm lights. A pleasant and faint smell of vanilla and sandalwood hit your nose as soon as you allowed the door to swing open, key still slotted into the lock. Keeping a cautionary gaze fixed on the dark interior of the room before you as you sought out the light switch, fingers fumbling clumsily and numbing in the chilly air for a few moments before finally knocked against something and hopefully flicking it upwards. A warm glow flooded the room, taking the edge off the chill and highlighting the small kitchen that you were slowly moving into, kicking the door closed behind you once you managed to tug the key out of the lock. The open layout of the room was pretty standard for most hotel rooms, and once again you found yourself somewhat surprised at the quality of the room itself, having expected something shabby to match the exterior of the building. Just beyond the edge of the kitchen tiling a dark carpet covered enough space for a neatly made double bed, small delicate closet which you suspected was probably empty save for a few spare towels and bedsheets, and a table that looked barely big enough to seat two people despite the four chairs that had somehow managed to be squeezed around the solid wooden base. A door was slightly ajar at the far side of the bed, bathroom appliances gleaming beyond it with a clean glow, looking ironically to be much less crowded than the rest of the room. An airy sigh of relief expelled out of your lungs on a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding until it was released, and you slumped down into of the rickety chairs, stretching our your legs with a grateful groan. If your bones could have creaked alongside the chair below you at the movement, they would have. Somehow it seemed like you’d been blessed with one of the better rooms in possession of a window that was neither broken nor boarded up, which only added to your slow mounting release. The muscles in your legs throbbed at the sudden lack of your weight on them and fatigue gripped you in an unshakeable grasp now that you were finally sitting down, slowing down.
All the emotions and demons that you’d been running from nonstop for the last three days loomed dangerously near the surface your calm facade, tempting fate with a long awaited and overdue breakdown. Thought this was the first time in days that you’d stopped for longer than a minute to think about the choices you’d made, the last thing you needed was to begin to drown under the weight of those choices. Leaving that house, that part of your family, wasn’t a choice that you had made lightly or on a sudden whim but the consequences of choosing to leave were nothing to laugh at. If you were caught. Which for you, was inevitable in one way or another.
The last three days had been hard, adjusting form the comfort of an undeniably well paid for life to walking without stopping and surviving on energy that had already been on dwindling reserves had been hard. But it was harder to stay in a house where innocent people were turned into monsters… where good people did bad things out of misguided intentions, where normal people walked in normal and came back out empty husks of the people they’d once been. Every pair of eyes in your home were windows to a broken phantom of what the person had once been, lacking any innocence and naivety to the reality of the world that everyone else was born with. Even you’d been born believing there was still good out there at the beginning. Not that it had lasted long. Every room had a story of death and every person that dared walking through the silent halls had blood staining their soul in one way or another.. especially you. Your skin rolled now in disgust at the memories of the things they’d done to people, the things that you’d had to stand by and witness happening without intervening. The sickening smile on Jungwoo’s otherwise sweet face as he choked the life out of a young boy as he insisted he wasn’t the one behind the drug bust that Jungwoo had lost family in was something that had haunted your dreams for years and was impossible to erase from your mind. Nor could you wipe away the distraught look on a woman’s face as Taeyong stared emotionlessly and callously down at her dying child, clutched against her chest. A child that he had let die in a raid gone wrong, someone he had been responsible for and had at one point cared for until they stopped being useful to him. Of course the woman had known, everyone knew the ultimate price that came with being involved in your family, but the knowledge alone hadn’t been enough to stop her heart from breaking. Nothing would ever replace what she had lost on that night though. Physical nausea writhed in your gut as similar memory after memory ate into your thoughts, the abhorrent recollections piling higher and higher, and they weren’t even the reason that you’d left. They were just extra little things on the side, adding up to the main course. Of course, not every single person living under my grandfather’s roof were doing the things they did for bad reasons, certainly not all of them enjoyed doing the horrifying things required of them. A lot of them hadn’t even been born into the family, not like you had with the history of a whole mafia family lapping at your heels and urging you down a path of destruction. In fact if you were to place a bet, you’d bet easily that majority of your ‘family’ weren’t legally and technically speaking your family, although there wasn’t a lot about the word family that had ever indicated legality anyway. No, most of them were there because your grandfather had taken them in as impressionable children with nothing left. And if they did have something else to live for, they wouldn’t for long, especially not if he wanted them. Your childhood memories were half filled with faces that often came and went, though there were faces there that had come and never went, faces that you were now having to check over your shoulder for every ten seconds because those were the kids who had grown up alongside you, who knew you better than even your grandfather did. Those were the ones who had been trained alongside you, to be ruthless fighters and trackers. He’d promised them a roof, food, safety amongst your existing family as long as they promised in return to work for him, to protect the family in turn the way you’d protected them. And what kid would turn down such a harmless offer? The swirling thoughts in your mind refused to stand still, even as your head dropped down onto the table and sleep claimed your exhausted body, finally. A familiarly gentle vibration in your pocket, more than likely a phone call that you didn’t need or want to answer, drew you out of the constricting blackness that was supposed to rejuvenate your depleted energy. If anything, it felt like it had just sapped more. You straightened your cramped and limp limbs, body and mind immediately alert and tense, prepared for the worst outcome. Thanks to years of training it was a learn instinct to be instantly aware of your surroundings, something that you knew despite your hatred for it could be the difference between life and death… especially now. Although, nothing about the room seemed out of place as you forced yourself up onto your feet, using the brisk search of the room to wake yourself up properly, something you were grateful for. There were still things to do before you could rest properly, it had been stupid to let yourself doze off without properly checking the room in the first place. How were you going to know if something was different if you didn’t know how things had been to begin with? Stupid, stupid. You berated yourself inwardly, because you knew better, because for once this wasn’t training and for once your life really did depend on things like this. The vibration, which you’d momentarily forgotten was the thing that had woken you, ceased and you pulled the offending device out of your pocket, surprised that it even had any dregs of charge left in it. Hundreds of messages, some threatening and some mildly concerned, while others were nothing more than simple business related communications, lit up your screen and you scrolled until you found the name of the only person left in the world that you cared about messaging you. For a moment, a horrible sinking sensation filled the pit of your stomach when you got to the bottom of your messages and didn’t see her name. And then you saw it, that stupid little green bubble that indicated a missed message, followed by the name of the only person in this world that you’d ever allowed yourself to trust more than.. well yourself. Kim Sana. Not only was she the only person you could trust, she was the prodigy of our household, perhaps even the entire family bloodline. From a young age Sans had shown a wide range of skills and abilities that far exceeded most fully grown adults in the business. And yet despite this, she was the only one who, like yourself, had refused to be sent out on heists or missions. With a low tolerance for violence and bullying, or anything that involved leverage of power, she stuck out alongside your bright yellow like a vibrant red in a sea of black and white. You prayed to whatever high beings were listening that she hadn’t done something stupid yet, as was highly possibly given her volatile nature and rash decision making. You swiped open your phone, checking the identity of the last caller. It was her. Hesitantly you pressed the screen to return her call, preparing yourself for the oncoming conversation. You hadn’t told her when you’d left, both because there had been no time and because it complicated things to involved the most wanted 19 year old in the underground world of Seoul. “Choi Eun-Jae! Where hell are you?” Her voice was barely less than a scream through the poor speakers of the phone, answering after the second ring and you moved the device further from the shell of your ear in an attempt to protect your eardrums from the onslaught of her accusations. The high pitched complaining continued for a few minutes before silence fell and you chanced returning the receiver to your ear and heaving a quiet sigh. “Hello to you too.” Your eyes gravitated to the window, taking in the solid pane of glass as something niggled in the back of your mind while you spoke. It was interestingly lucky that you’d been given one of the very few good rooms, even after being so abrupt with the receptionist downstairs. “I had to leave, things were getting out of hand and- I just couldn’t stay.” You wanted a moment for her reply, still unable to force your eyes away from the glass, hoping that if you stared long enough, your uneasy feeling would bloom into something that you could actually act on. “I know Eunnie.. But you shouldn’t be out there alone. What about when Johnny finds out, what the hell will you do then?” You couldn’t help the small snort of amusement that came out of your pressed together lips at her words, despite her serious tone. You could easily picture her rolling her eyes and putting her small face into her hands in exasperation at your inability to take the situation seriously. Normally the roles were severely reversed. “Johnny doesn’t scare me.” The wind buffered at the window pane, making the glass panes rattle loosely in place, the sound setting your nerves on edge, filling you further with apprehension. The small hairs on the back of your neck rose as you leaned forward in your seat, a frown beginning to furrow your brows and crease over your forehead. Suddenly the sweet vanilla that had previously filled your nose seemed sour and the open layout of the room seemed like a trap designed specifically for you, to give you no space to hide. It was getting harder to breathe through the growing panic. Sana was quiet for a moment, the silence stretching longer and longer as you struggled desperately not to let paranoia take over completely. It was entirely possible that’s all that was going on, and if you acted now on a feeling that was nothing more than a feeling, you were all but placing yourself right into the hands of your family if you went running out of here with no plan beyond escaping some phantom fear. Despite years of training for being out in the world alone, you were not amiss to the fact that you were the least prepared for being out here alone with only your own skills to rely on. “Maybe not, but Yuta and Sorn should.” Her voice finally came, quieter than before, sweeping away a minimal layer of your fears. Her voice was slightly muffled now and you couldn’t tell if it was the pounding of your heart sending blood around your head or something else, but her words were laced with the worry and concern that continued to grow and develop in the back of your mind. You rolled out some of the growing tension in your shoulders and finally stood, quietly, making your way silently and quickly to the window with the phone pressed between your ear and shoulder. It was probably nothing. She had a valid point though, your family’s business leader Johnny should be the most intimidating and worrying person for you, but right now his side man and woman, Sorn and Yuta were much more formidable problems for you. Johnny had always been gentle and slightly dim witted by nature, coming into the top position only by a series of unfortunate events and luck. He left much, if not all, of the decisions to his most trusted members. If Yuta and Sorn weren’t in charge, things would be very different for you, for everyone. “Eunnie?” Sana’s affectionate name for you echoed emptily in your ears as you peered cautiously out through the glass window into the dimly lit street below. Just like when you’d dragged yourself along it not long ago, it was dark and the sidewalk was cluttered with rubbish and cars that looked like they’d been parked for longer than this building had been standing. Despite the heavy sense of abandonment and the almost foreboding darkness that the lack of streetlights created, it seemed safe enough. Probably not a street a normal teenage girl would turn down at this hour and to the naked eye there were no obvious warning signs. But finding the most minute details in the safest looking situations was just one of the things you’d spent the last ten long years of your training learning, and something about the seemingly peaceful street below didn’t feel at all right. Two sleek black cars parked at the very beginning of the street, neatly and slyly blocking the road against any passing vehicles immediate view, caught your eyes and you tilted your head, peering intently at them for any sign of movement. But if there was anyone sitting in the no doubt expensively lush interior of either car, you couldn’t tell from this distance, the windows were far too tinted and the night sky far too dark to give you any chance of an upper hand from here. The cars did a poor job of blending into their surroundings, which only indicated to you at least that there was no urgency for them to remain unnoticed. As your gaze continued to flicker around the street, searching for anything else out of place, the growing feeling of dread and suspicion stuttered to a stomach dropping halt. Despite it being a twenty four hour hotel offering up cheap rooms, the very reason you’d even entered the building, the neon lit sign was now no longer casting it’s light on to the dark street. It could easily just be coincidence that the receptionist downstairs had turned it off, or perhaps it had simply stopped working. But you didn’t believe in coincidence and you sure as hell weren’t about to risk your life on that chance. Your knuckles turned white as your gripped the windowsill hard between your fingers and palms, ignoring the pain that the hard edges digging into the soft skin caused. There was no logical business reasoning to turn off the only marketing a twenty four hour hotel in the middle of a dark street had going for them. “Sana, they’ve found me.” You said into the phone with more composure and calmness than you felt, swiftly turning away from the window and heading towards your discarded jacket, the only thing that you’d brought with you. Your mind had switched from suspicious to panic mode, brain sifting through every possible option in front of you. There weren’t a lot. With every step your ankle screeched in protest at the weight being put on it, filling you with more and more dread. If it was a struggle to walk across a small hotel room, then how were you going to get yourself out of this damn situation? “Get out of there.” She hissed into the phone, sounding somehow more on the edge than you. You forced the jacket on, patting the pockets to ensure that nothing had fallen out; the familiar lumps of the items you’d shoved into them , including the wad of money, remained the only comfortingly thing in place, despite the hell that likely about to break loose. “That’s the plan.” You muttered, teeth digging harshly into your tongue as you considered what your next move was. Probably getting off the phone, because the longer you had Sana’s panicked breathing and instructions in your ear, the less time you had to really think about what to do. “Sana be careful at home.” The soft warning barely left your lips before you hung up the phone and shoved it back into your pocket, heart pounding heavily in your chest. She didn’t need to be told to be careful, Sans was too smart for her own good, but you’d needed something better to say to her than ‘goodbye’. The hallway outside your room suddenly seemed thick with tension when you stepped out into it, casting your gaze warily left to right. There wasn’t exactly a lot of escape options in the small building and so far the only exit you’d seen was the entrance you’d come through, which you couldn’t exactly prance out of like you’d walked in. “Idiot.” You reprimanded yourself below your breath, heading down towards the end of the corridor that you hadn’t yet been down, hoping that you’d been wrong earlier in assuming there was nothing but a dead end. You hoped against all logic that an answer would present itself the form of an open door or fire escape, something subtle that would be hard to see from far away. It had been stupid to slow down this early, to let yourself breath even for a moment and if you couldn’t find a way out of this hotel in the next few minutes then you were going to pay for it, likely with your life. As strong as your family’s bonds were, leaving them had always been a death sentence, for anyone. That’s why everyone stayed, enduring the messy life rather than abandoning it when things got too tough and living out a normal life. There had even very few people who had ever even attempted leaving and even less when those were killed, or befell ‘tragic accidents’. The heartbroken face of Ten, you were pretty sure nobody knew his real name, flew unbidden to your mind as you paused outside one of the doorways towards the end of the hallway, which still looked depressingly lacking of a way out. Poor Ten who had lost everything in one swift blow of a rival gang’s leader’s fist, forcing his youngest brother’s skull into the hard concrete. He’d died instantly. Naive Ten who had come running to Yuta, begging him to help him, to give him time to grieve. Small Ten who had been broken by the simple withering stare Yuta had thrown at him before leaving the room with little more than a ‘people die, get used to it’. The once, annoyingly, cheerful Ten had fallen to his knees, head in his hands as he screamed in a way that had shattered your heart that he couldn’t stay here, couldn’t be a part of the family anymore. Your stomach rolled nauseously at the memory of San and you holding his sobbing body between you through the night, maybe the longest night of either of your lives, doing your best to ease his pain. Because neither of you had been able to bear the thought that he might really try to leave, that his precious life would go to waste alongside his brother’s. And he hadn’t left, because he knew that leaving was a suicide mission by the time he recovered from the initial pain of losing his only blood family. Slowly over the weeks his gentle face had lost the compassion that you’d once adored in him, replaced with the hard angles and glares of the reality that he would lose people often and unexpectedly. He’d lost his smile, replaced by a near constant frown, everything about him leeching into giving for those he cared little for. He appeared less and less around the mansion like building that we called home, preferring to spend the little time he wasn’t underground or undercover with exotic women with even more exotic tastes, who helped him forget the people he continued to lose each new day. He was no longer the young man who had screamed desperately for his brother, he was just a well-oiled machined orchestrated by Yuta and Sorn to go through the motions, to get his own hands dirty on their behalf. You shook your head in an effort to rid yourself of the haunting thoughts. Almost every member in that house, in your family, in the business, had a similar or sometimes worse story to tell. Losing people was a daily occurrence, loving was not an option. It was enough to make anyone lose their humanity. Everyone who was a part of it was bound to end up a monster, whether it was who they were or because it just happened that way. There was no running from that, becoming a monster was all that was in store for any of your family. And you were one of them.
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