pro-nightmare

[pro-nightmare]

1) Women’s Anger, Aggression, and Violence by Sandra P. Thomas

2) Motz A. The Psychology of Female Violence: Crimes against the Body. Hove: Routledge; 2008

3) My for real text messages from 2015—cause lord knows I could not make this horrifying shit up.

4) Good Girl by jeanann verlee 

5) God—I can’t remember. A book on borderline personality disorder that I *loved*. Anyone know?

6) Aase Berg “She Strikes Back”

7) Ugh. Also can’t find source.

8) Sylvia Plath “Lady Lazarus” draft

9) tracey emin, “going to crack”

10) Alice Notley

11) Kate Zambreno from Icons

12) Kathy Acker from Pussy King of the Pirates

13) Kathy Acker from Empire of the Senseless

14) Yevgeny Yevtushenko

[pro-nightmare]

RICH GUTIERREZ: A WARNING

Rich has a pattern of sexual assault, consent/boundary violations, emotional abuse and manipulation. This statement is based on the experiences of multiple women/nb people. He has victimized woc experiencing vulnerable or precarious life circumstances. Attempts to directly confront Rich on these matters has proven fruitless. This page will attempt to share helpful information in as clear and accessible a manner as possible.

WHO IS RICH?

Rich is from San Jose and currently lives in Chicago. He plays in Busted Outlook and Permanent Ruin.

https://www.richgutierrez.com/

http://landspeedrecord.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/_supremenothing

https://www.instagram.com/supreme_nothing/

https://www.facebook.com/SupremeNothing

http://www.supremenothingpress.com/

https://www.instagram.com/supremenothingpress/

https://mobile.twitter.com/SN_Press

https://www.facebook.com/supremenothingpress/

https://bustout.bandcamp.com/

https://permanentruin.bandcamp.com/

  SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS (TW)

• Non-consensually and violently forcing oral penetration

• Restraining partners non-consensually during sex

• Removing condoms during sex without informing partners, non-consensually initiating unprotected penetrative sex

• Seeking out people who are emotionally or socially vulnerable and exploiting their trust in him - these behaviors are a form of predation that is best described as grooming* (see below)

• Positioning himself as a “victim” or as “vulnerable” in order to manipulate people he abuses into being dismissive of other people’s attempts to hold him accountable

• Gaslighting people who have attempted to hold him accountable for his abuse of them

• Enforcing power disparity in relationships by manipulating partners into being exclusive with him; while secretly having concurrent sexual relationships with other people

• Exploiting cultural access and labor from people who he has abused as well as appropriating their work/plans

• Failing to inform potential partners of his past behavior, despite being made aware of the above experiences and their impact.

* Resources on the concept of psychological grooming for people who haven’t encountered the term before:

http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming

(we don’t mean to endorse everything on this website, but it is concise)

http://www.kbsolutions.com/Grooming.pdf

(starts on page 16)

WHY IS THIS JUST COMING OUT NOW?

Rich has successfully constructed an image of himself as a self aware feminist ally, especially using social media to aggressively reinforce this image. Additionally, Rich has social capital and a prominent/respected position. Finally, Rich has been shielded from the consequences of his actions by his friends, in particular Victoria Ruiz of Downtown Boys. When people who Rich has hurt have attempted to seek support from Rich’s friends, or just inform them of Rich’s actions, those friends have discredited the survivors’ experiences and intimidated them into silence.

WHO ARE WE? WHAT DO WE WANT?

This page was written collaboratively by a number of people, then passed along to others for review. We just are sharing this info at the specific request of survivors. This is not an “accountability process.” Over the years people Rich has hurt have made requests of him, and asked his friends to hold him accountable. These efforts have been futile, and only resulted in the further emotional abuse and ostracization of the survivors. We are presenting this information in the hopes of interrupting Rich’s pattern of abuse.

CONTACT

If you have questions, you can get in touch with us. If you have been hurt by Rich and want to connect with other survivors, at least one of them is actively interested in that. Please feel free to get in touch.

richmanpoorman@riseup.net

UPDATE

6/6/17 - Since this was posted, so far 2 additional women have come forward with stories of abuse by Rich that involve the behaviors listed above. Also, women/nb people have also come forward with accounts of harassment from him, involving him harassing them about their experiences of abuse at the hands of his friends. We recognize this call out is complex since it also names Victoria, though this is not primarily about her. Since posting this call out, two people have come forward with accounts of her harmful actions, specifically about her intimidation and silencing of people who come to her with accounts of being abused/assaulted by her friends.

[pro-nightmare]

No doctor will take my bladder trouble seriously and this is offense

Madame LuLu Astrology 2/4

[pro-nightmare]

Also there were vegans at WMW, like with pictures of cows that called them women, it called the cows women and no one will give up calling human women females but these cows are women

[pro-nightmare]

Laying on a very comfortable couch so sleepy and well fed on pasta and homemade by an Italian sausage red sauce and Do Rite donuts from Chicago in a farm-hotel half of which was built in the 1700s and the rest in September and all of this is free for me and I haven't felt so suicidal in many weeks. I should have stayed home and stayed in bed instead of letting myself feel so alienated and broken. I want to lay outside with the goats and die.

[pro-nightmare]

@emilyfusselmansrabbit

in the Goosebumps episode “One Day At Horrorland” there is a commercial for a fictional CD called 50 Monster Love Hits and tbh these song names seem rly romantic these tunes need to be recorded immediately I’m swooning

[pro-nightmare]

Your point being?

[pro-nightmare]

for folks who have been involuntarily hospitalized

i realized many people may not know this so i want to pass on the info. sometimes when you’re filling out paperwork you’ll be asked: “have you ever been involuntarily committed?” (for example, they ask this if you’re applying for TSA pre-check). here’s the thing:

if you were put on a 72-hour hold, and only a 72-hour hold, you can answer “no” to this question.

why? because 72-hour (or 24-hour holds) and “involuntary commitments” are different things, legally speaking. 72-hour are shot-term crisis hospitalizations that are relatively easy to put someone under, involuntary commitments are 14+ day hospitalizations that are harder (legally) to get. 

how do I know if mine was a 72-hour or 14-day hold? if you don’t know, it was a 72-hour hold. for 14-day holds, you have a right to have a hearing, go before a judge, argue your case, fight the prosecutor, and call witnesses. if you never went before a judge, you have not been involuntarily committed.  

please spread this around!

[pro-nightmare]

Um this is for @rgr-pop, it's about my cat dying We adopted Casey between K-1st grade, she was not a year old yet. The year my dad was retired they had "tea time" together every week day, like an hour of sitting in the armchair and watching the news. A weekend morning the spring of my senior year I was in the kitchen, Casey walked in and then just fell over. She twitched a couple times and stopped. I screamed, my mom wrapped her in a towel and we drove to the vet. We lived in semi-rural GA and the vet lived down a dirt road. They weren't open yet so I banged on the door and yelled and when they opened it I thrust Casey into their arms and said "fix her fix her." She hadn't moved at all in the car, her eyes were open, her mouth was agape in the way that cat mouths get sometimes when they're disturbed her scared. A while later they came into the waiting room and said she was dead and I said "I know she's dead but you have to fix her!" They didn't know why she died, she was always totally healthy, the vet thought she was 4-5 years younger than she was. I got to see her but her eyes were still open. Both my grandpas were dead by the time I was 6 and this was the first death I really experienced. My mom asked me to call my dad when we got home, he didn't live with us then, but he didn't answer and I just left a message saying she died. I called my high school sweetheart, who had graduated the year before me and we weren't really speaking at this point, he was cool and didn't live at home and didn't have time for me. But he answered the phone and let me cry, and it's a reason that I believe in signs or "whatever." Like why would he have answered the phone? I cried for days, I think I skipped school that Monday. I cried about her for a year, probably. I grieved hard. Thinking about it now, and not just right now as I'm detailing it but almost ten years later now, my stomach gets hot and constricts. I still remember what I wrote in my livejournal later that day: my cat died today i carried her barefoot i could not close her eyes We adopted a kitten maybe a month later, I named her and she was mine, but my mom wouldn't let me take her when I moved out. I wanted to take Casey with me, though, I wanted her for 7 or 8 more years. I thought maybe she died because she wouldn't be coming with me. My mom also had Casey cremated without telling me, I found her ashes in a dresser drawer weeks later. I was furious and didn't know why. I still have her collar, it's teal and her name and our landline number is embroidered on it. Tiny teal bell. I adjusted it to its longest length and wore it around my ankle that summer. I love her a lot still.

[pro-nightmare]

legends only, my friends. legends only

[pro-nightmare]

$713,597/4 br

Portland, OR

[pro-nightmare]

$375,000/2 br

Vallejo, CA

[pro-nightmare]

[pro-nightmare]

I love this because it's all about how John cena will never marry Nikki Bella and like she should not marry him because he seems controlling and awful and has a bland monkey face but it is also so sad for Nicole

[pro-nightmare]

Henri Cartier-Bresson

Ireland, 1952. Roman Catholic Headscarves

[pro-nightmare]

I’m trying to be an engaged girlfriend (like interested not married) but I’m just rolling my eyes so hard at this show because why do four white dudes need to write a song called Memoir and put it on an ep called Flood

[pro-nightmare]

tfw ur partner is not cool with not having sex but is cool with sleeping with other people OR tfw ur friends ask how you would feel about an open relationship and u say Oh my partner would Never want to do that but it turns out they do so u have to figure out how you feel OR tfw you know this is probably the thing that's finally worth breaking up over but that seems like the worst thing so you will probably just let them fuck other people even though that is actually the worst thing