practicalgas

[practicalgas]

My landlord has a couple of really terrible properties. I call him the lessor of two evils.

[practicalgas]

My chicken had one hell of a workout yesterday and told me he could feel it in his pecks.

[practicalgas]

The "I" in "hurricane" is right in the middle. Think about it.

[practicalgas]

I learned to make aioli at the Mayo clinic.

[practicalgas]

I asked the nurse why the tree got admitted to the ER before me and he told me it was sycamore.

[practicalgas]

Just got my first pair of open-toad sandles. Disgusting.

[practicalgas]

Aleppo was definitely the worst Marx brother.

[practicalgas]

Marc Chagall bladder.

[practicalgas]

I'm so good looking, I could make the Yuletide gay.

[practicalgas]

If I was a tattoo artist, I'd always play "I just dyed in your arms tonight".

[practicalgas]

My pants are too legit to fit.

[practicalgas]

If you're hoppy and you know it, you're a sentient IPA.

[practicalgas]

Do yourself a favor, read Keith Richards bio...and replace every instance of the word "heroin" with "cotton candy". It really paints a different picture of the man.

[practicalgas]

If I owned a gym, I'd call it "Pectoralis in Wonderland". But, alas, I'll probably never own a gym.

[practicalgas]

Beyond Good and Evil and Thunderdome

[practicalgas]

My new year's resolution is to never again split infinitives!

[practicalgas]

placenta of gravity