poncedyleon

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me: i need to save money

me: (gets paycheck)

me:

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The world finally makes sense. (via wayne5540)

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(cartoon by Adam Zyglis)

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Free employment advice left at one of those Target application kiosk thingies

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(via michaelsana13)

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Source

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happy v day 👪 (at Birmingham, Alabama)

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When someone makes fun of your favorite Pokemon

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can you make pokemon villains valentine cards,,,i'd die

only high quality posts here at shitpostingvillains

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art

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*me looking at pets foot*: Perfect. Such tiny delicate construction. This is the greatest foot I've ever seen, and you have 4 of them! Well done!

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#BlackPride #YouSmart #BlackExcellence 

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@lovelydayintherain

How To Report A Crime

Whether you are a bystander, witness, or the direct victim of a crime, it’s important to know how to alert the authorities. The Onion provides a step-by-step guide for reporting a crime:

STEP 1: After the crime occurs, take a moment to gather yourself and consider whether any of this is worth interacting with a police officer

STEP 2: Google how to place a phone call

STEP 3: When the dispatcher answers, calmly and clearly scream the details of the incident

STEP 4: Expedite the investigation by dusting for fingerprints while you wait

STEP 5: Carefully review your neighborhood’s snitching policy before speaking with any cops

STEP 6: Describe the perpetrator to police in as much detail as possible, but be sensitive when it comes to the issue of weight

STEP 7: If you haven’t already, now’s a good time to tell them how fast it all happened

STEP 8: Write a Facebook post about the entire ordeal, making sure to repeatedly emphasize that you’re fine, but that it really made you stop and think about how lucky you are, and that you’re just so thankful for all your friends

STEP 9: Some sort of reward for all this trouble, presumably

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Me at the bar

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Child: What’s a VHS?

Me: