phresya

[phresya]

i can and WILL blame all bruce's bad parenting on the writers idc u cant stop me he's a flawed person but BAD PERSON? BAD FATHER? no. the writers don't get him sometimes ok trust me bro

[phresya]

police commissioner jim gordon editing this on MS paint: this is going to absolutely demolish crime

[phresya]

i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.

so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"

[phresya]

the baby don't know what he's saying...

[phresya]

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

[phresya]

Favorite thing about the Red Note shenanigans: Mongolian ranchers suddenly gaining a rabid following of American horse girls and being like "we knew you had cowboys but we didn't know you value and love horses as friends like we do, this is excellent"

Mongolian rancher 🤝 American horse girl synergy I guess

[phresya]

You’re in his living room distracting him with champagne and a low cut dress, I’m in his high tech vault stealing his diamonds. We are not the same.

But we are on the same team, and the payout is gonna be great for us

[phresya]

Whenever an artist who makes dark content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so dark and nasty' and whenever an artist who makes wholesome content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so aggressively wholesome' and it's like you know I think maybe you can't tell whether or not someone is a predator based on their artistic output.

[phresya]

[phresya]

I reject all incarnations of the addams family written like spooky goths who hate normies. The joke is that they're warm and welcoming and they don't even know that they're weird. Still might maim you though because they also think everyone else is into hardcore sadomasochism.

[phresya]

theres just a wholesection of youtube showcasing huge construction vehicles and the thumbnails are always impossibly large ai generated machines with groups of men looking up at them and it just feels so so so much like fetish art

[phresya]

[phresya]

[phresya]

I-80 highway through Wyoming. nicknamed The Sisters, for the three sets of hills that create an optical illusion of the road rising into the sky

[phresya]

Save me warm toned lit windows of tenement blocks on a winters evening save me

[phresya]

[phresya]

me, looking at sewing patterns, a bead of sweat rolling down my brow: what if I started……..m…m…maybe a new project would……

the mountain of unfinished projects in the corner pointing a gun at me: what the fuck did you just say