polyamory-and-pot

[polyamory-and-pot]

He got me again tonight. Came home and was about to walk inside but then he stops and goes, "Is that weed or is that a skunk?" And then it's quiet for awhile, but I don't hear him go inside. Then he goes, "That's a SKUNK!" And rushes inside.

So my stepmoms brother has been staying with my family for the last few months because he recently moved back into state. And I don't know if he knows I smoke weed, he's definitely never caught me. But tonight I'm sitting out on the deck smoking and reading a book (let's be real it was a webcomic.) And he gets home from work. So I hear him walking towards the back door (which is the main door we use) and to start off with the happiest fucking jingle. He sings our dogs name and spells it. And I'm jealous of that. Because I was 1000% that person a few years ago. And after greating the dog he stops and asks "Is there a skunk?" And I kinda feel bad because he genuinely sound concerned that there was a skunk. But in the past 9-10 years that I've lived here there never been a skunk around. Unless you count me I guess

[polyamory-and-pot]

Do I make a new blog to post this idea on or do I just do it on my current blog. Decisions decisions

[polyamory-and-pot]

The online representation of DID is so watered down and catered to fictive-heavy 5000+ alter systems at times it feels like people are just trying to have The Worst DID so it's like, oh, I don't belong here bc none of wht I experience matches w what y'all are talking about like its normal and I low-key feel like other systems feel the same??? Idk do y'all feel out of place in ur community too? Bc I'm like not relating to anything in the community lately and its so frustrating

[polyamory-and-pot]

Using real people as face-claims is really weird!

Can we un-normalize this in the system community? Please? It is really weird to do. Finding a stranger's selfie on Pinterest then claiming it’s you is weird. It’s worse when people will encourage it. “You look so cool!” “I love your shirt!” Why are you acting like this person in the picture is actually the person who sent it? Why are we roleplaying as real people?

It gets worse when it’s pictures of teens, kids, and babies. You are saving images of random people and lying about the fact it is you. Your disorder doesn’t excuse this kind of behavior. If a “singlet” took a pic of a random person and said it was them, it would be weird. Being a system doesn’t mean that this is normal, okay, or less creepy than someone without DID doing it.

If you have permission then by all means, claim you look like them. If you don’t, don’t be a creep. Just make a Picrew or something.

[polyamory-and-pot]

I feel awful because the body's older brother wants to connect with us over similar interests. But we have no desire of sharing our interests with him after a lifetime of him trashing all of my interests.

Like one part of me is like "He's trying to be a good older brother and find ways to hang out together."

While another part of me screams "HES GONNA RUIN IT FOR YOU."

[polyamory-and-pot]

Be careful with what you share online

This is something everyone should know, but this also applies to online system safe spaces.

Having an online space where you can express yourself and share more private things about your life is great, but remember that even the safest space online is dangerous. When sharing thins about yourself, make sure you're not sharing information that could be used to hurt you.

Triggers, deep info on alters, which alters are more vulnerable, how to have certain alters front, Simply Plural usernames, ect. Even sharing you have the disorder alone can turn out to hurt you if someone being rude about it will cause you to spiral. Be careful with what you share. A huge part of internet safety is knowing what you should and shouldn't share online. If it's something someone could use to harm you, don't share it.

There internet is full of bad people, and it gets more and more unsafe as time goes on. Being aware of how to protect yourself from those bad people is important.

[polyamory-and-pot]

God I wish I could figure out how to articulate my thoughts. I'd have so many posts about misinformation spread in the CDD community, or posts about behaviors I see in the CDD community that are genuinely harmful to a system and anti-recovery. But noooo my brain doesn't word good so I sit and write out a post and edit it, then reedit it, then edit it again until I finally decide that I don't want to make the post because someone is going to misunderstand the meaning of my post because I didn't clarify my thoughts with the right words. It's bullshit with a sprinkling of anxiety.

[polyamory-and-pot]

endogenic plurality is entirely plausible however it is not being a system and will never match up to the cdd experience.

why? our life is defined by the trauma we experienced - whether that be the inescapable childhood trauma that resulted structural dissociation that then caused our personalities to never integrate or the trauma we experienced throughout our life.

we deal with flashbacks due to trauma, where we get somantic symptoms and sometimes dissociative seizures.

we go through splitting as throughout the trauma our brain has decided the best way to deal with things we can't handle is dissociate and split.

many of us have heavy amnesia as to put the traumatic experiences in a safe place where we can't know about them until we are ready to confront what happened to us.

sure we and endogenics may be both plural in nature, but we are nothing alike.

and a system not wanting individuals with a completely different experience and none of the struggles they face to not interact with their blog isn't being a sysmed - it's reasonable. they're trying to recover from the trauma they experienced and having someone without trauma claim that they are the same because they are also plural is almost offensive.

cdd's are so much more than the different parts and everything that happens in this disorder is so deeply defined by trauma.

[polyamory-and-pot]

This hurt me

[polyamory-and-pot]

So my stepmoms brother has been staying with my family for the last few months because he recently moved back into state. And I don't know if he knows I smoke weed, he's definitely never caught me. But tonight I'm sitting out on the deck smoking and reading a book (let's be real it was a webcomic.) And he gets home from work. So I hear him walking towards the back door (which is the main door we use) and to start off with the happiest fucking jingle. He sings our dogs name and spells it. And I'm jealous of that. Because I was 1000% that person a few years ago. And after greating the dog he stops and asks "Is there a skunk?" And I kinda feel bad because he genuinely sound concerned that there was a skunk. But in the past 9-10 years that I've lived here there never been a skunk around. Unless you count me I guess

[polyamory-and-pot]

Introjects of real criminals should not publicly ID with their source

This is controversial apparently, though it really shouldn't be. If you have an alter that is an introject of-- for example-- one of the Columbine shooters, don't use pics/fanart of them as your pfp or faceclaim, don't put that in your bio, don't use their full names, don't vent about missing your "sourcemates." Just... don't.

Alters aren't their source, literally. Introjects do not come from their source. They are alters who introject certain characteristics of someone or something that already exists. They do not have to ID with their source, you do not have to source separate to stop IDing with your source like that. Doing the things listed in the other paragraph are entirely done willingly and not doing them will not cause you harm. It is entirely your decision to be insensitive.

You can not claim to agree with "don't treat alters like their source" if you don't think that applies to you or "problematic" alters. It applies to all alters. Your alter being an introject of a murder does NOT make it okay for you to put that persons face and name in a cute font on your Plural Kit profile. It is not okay, it is never okay.

There is no reason at all that you need to use the face and name of a murderer with real victims as a faceclaim/pfp for your alter. There will never be anything that makes that okay. Your disorder, your trauma response, and your introjects do not make you incapable of being insensitive. You as a survivor should understand that using the face of the Columbine shooters, Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, fucking Hitler, and more is not okay. Be better.

[polyamory-and-pot]

Okay so I smoke outside. And I sit up on my families deck when I do it. And a lot of the time I need to spit (I got a lotta mucus bro sorry.) Well tonight I learned if I aim in just the right direction I can hit an old unused metal dog dish and it makes this perfect ting!

[polyamory-and-pot]

RAMCOA is antisemitic, but that doesn't mean your trauma is

I haven't made a post about this in a hot minute. I've been taking a break because hate escalated to full on death threats.

When we say "RAMCOA is antisemitic", we are not talking about the trauma you're describing it with. The term RAMCOA comes from antisemitism. There are real/better terms you can use for your trauma, but RAMCOA shouldn't be one of them. Here's a post I made listing some terms.

No one is calling your trauma antisemitic, we are calling the term you're using antisemitic. Using it unknowingly doesn't make you antisemitic either, and no one is saying that. Using it becomes problematic when you disregard what people are telling you, when you ignore the voices of Jewish people who are expressing their discomfort with this term. System spaces are not safe for all systems if that excludes Jewish systems.

Use the proper terms, don't defend a term that comes from antisemitism, conspiracy theories, and malpractice.

[polyamory-and-pot]

Me dissociates

My parents: That's something you can just work through and get over

[polyamory-and-pot]

Absolutely baffled when I picked up my nephew and he smelled exactly like a cabbage patch kid doll.

[polyamory-and-pot]

I love (/sarc) when I'm just minding my own business and a random memory emerges.

Like yeah great living my life. You remember the one time you asked out your female best friend and she rejected you. Haha yeah good times.

Where the fuck did that memory come from????????

[polyamory-and-pot]

Either we really fucked up with logging switches or we've been blurry since October 19th. Jesus fuck