polarizedlight

[polarizedlight]

Three members of the saw bathroom you say….

[polarizedlight]

Just remembered a dream I had in the point of view of a girl murdered in her high school in the 70s.

…Except she woke up in present day and wasn’t dead. She was confused at the fact 1) she had no injuries and was completely fine 2) how the high school looked completely different (bc it 50 years later). (Dream me was more interested in analyzing the design differences in the building since that should be a higher priority imo.)

It turns out she spontaneously time traveled before she died. And she was full of rage and trying to convict the person who murdered/will murder her. It was chilling because it was almost like she was a ghost… but she hasn’t died. Not yet. She was a dead girl walking. She may have been alive at the moment, but old newspapers did report she died, so it was inevitable she would spontaneously transport back in time and get murdered.

[polarizedlight]

Ven's apology doc.

So much to unpack, throw out the whole suitcase, etc.

Just wanted to point out that in Ven's original callout doc and on the tweet linking it, they never stated that they or DB were adults. The fact that both of them are adults was mentioned in a deleted tumblr post and a tweet downstream from the main one, and looking at the view counts on the posts prior to Ven's twitter deactivation, the vast majority of people didn't see it.

Sneaky. It's the best of both worlds: making sure most people don't know AND technically stating it somewhere to dodge consequences of defamation! Also, love the choice of splicing an unrelated screenshot of a conversation with a 16 year old in the middle of the DB section, leading many people to believe DB was the 16 year old.

I think it's interesting that Ven claims that they just wanted to make sure to be thorough with information, and THAT'S why it was important to share private unnecessary information, but theirs or DB's ages weren't deemed important enough information. Maybe it was because it could make the wording of the doc a bit awkward? Y'know, with accusing someone of grooming adults older than them?

They apologize for leaking private information while CONTINUING TO DO THAT IN THE APOLOGY. The only one who sexually violated anyone in this whole situation was you, Ven. (That was pure projection when you said Alex "sexually violated" your friend, yeah?)

I honest to God hope you get help.

But I also honest to God hope Alex sues you, lol.

[polarizedlight]

Reblogging this for archival purposes, so everyone knows that Ven straight up called Alex a groomer (when their deleted "apology" on Twitter deflected the blame to misleading OTHER people "by mistake" into saying that).

I wanna make a post on Tumblr because this site is so much easier to actually convey thoughts without a limit. I also want to spread this to other sites since I understand that not everyone has Twitter. I am seeing a lot of misinformation spreading that I never said or my words have been twisted or actually misunderstood.

(Also, yes this is stirringjuice from twitter. I did have another account with the same name on here but I don’t use it.)

First thing, ME AND DB USE HE/THEY PRONOUNS. WE ARE BOTH TRANS! AND BOTH ADULTS!

I know it was so stupid of me to not include that and I was hoping for people to just use “they” when it wasn’t stated otherwise. I was going to leave it alone because a lot of us have been called childish or immature for speaking out. But it’s now incredibly uncomfortable and I’m tired of it. Yes, I am taking the fault on it.

I would also like to say that I originally wanted to be anonymous and not have people use Ven. But unfortunately, people started using my name and I no longer could disconnect myself from this situation.

-

“The Mandela Catalogue is actually fetish content”

No. I have NO idea why people twisted a small explanation I made into something very gross. There is no proof that this series was made because of a fetish. There are multiple interviews where Alex explains his inspiration for this series. Please stop saying it’s a fetish content.

-

“Alex is a pedophile.”

None of us have ever mentioned about him being a pedophile and I originally explained that there was no evidence of him being a groomer.

I saw grooming as only associated with manipulating young kids into sexual acts. I gave Alex so much credit that he wouldn’t stoop that low. However, after hearing from other victims, grooming can happen to anyone. And it’s honestly a good way to describe this situation. He groomed multiple fans just for sexual gratification.

I do find it weird to compliment or show affection towards a minor the same way you would with a partner. He does speak like this to everyone of all ages.

-

“Alex is severely ill.”

Yes! So are a lot of us who are affected by him. Mental illness can be an explanation but not an excuse for someone’s actions.

Understand that several of us gave support to Alex because we probably relate to his experiences. I myself have issues with paranoia, depression, and anxiety. I was always there for him.

-

“All/some of the messages are faked.”

None of them. Yes some of them are cropped. (This is an explanation for only me and DB’s experiences) The messages that surrounded Alex for all of them would have been us reciprocating or sexting. Which something I already mentioned in the document and the explanation of why it’s still malicious. I felt uncomfortable with the non-con fantasies despite reciprocating because if he never opened up to me about it, would he still do it? Or what if I said no? It freaked me out because he implied in a call that he had these fantasies before with other people.

Messages from servers can be confirmed by witnesses who were in those servers. I made a video of me and DB’s dms with his discord id, alongside with my recording of my instagram dms.

I can’t fully show mine or DB’s discord messages because DB wants to stay anonymous.

The reason why his icon is erased is because of discord’s transcript. DB’s icon does this as well (which, honestly, I don’t know why I covered it up now thinking about it. It literally did not matter).

Here are a few more examples of messages from the transcript (this time being on mobile).

Also, our messages matches with other people’s experiences. Please, PLEASE, do not only read my document. I believed we all shared the same experiences that creates a bigger picture.

-

“You promised about not sharing details.”

I don’t know how to explain this in the most simple terms when I felt like I explained it the best in the document. Also, decisions can be changed later.

This is not me being manipulative or a liar. There were so many adjustments to this document that involved me not even telling my side of the story because of what I said before. Like, yes, I know what I said.

I originally did not want to spread anything outside of my conversation because from my perspective DURING THAT TIME, I did not see Alex as malicious. I saw him as incredibly childish and incredibly emotionally incompetent.

My side is supposed to represent the amount of times I tried to get him help and him continuously hurting himself or others, and still ended up in this position. Also, the parallels between me and DB’s experiences (and now that more came out, Jeremy’s experiences as well).

That’s why I was aggressive during our last few encounters because he lied about wanting to improve. He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and then goes out and hurt people. He has done this several times.

-

“You’re transphobic / outted him.”

Don’t be a groomer then. Also look at @kiwivskiwi post. https://www.tumblr.com/kiwivskiwi/745057126643384320/alex-kister-and-actively-using-being-trans-to-lure

-

“Why don’t you show his face?”

Someone pointed out that his bed covers do match. I also knew that people were going to call me transphobic or that I’m humiliating him for posting these photos online. The best decision was to cover them up and they are never being released.

-

“Why did you release this the same time as other allegations?”

Almost purely coincidence. I was inspired by Shelby’s experience to speak out because I saw parallels with the way that Wilbur replied and acted (the manipulation).

This has been in the works since January and it would’ve been out in February but reliving these experiences actually made me dissociate several times. It gave me migraines and heavy anxiety that made me lose my appetite. I hated reliving it over and over again.

Which is why I wanted to disconnect from it. I didn’t ever expect this to gain so much attention so fast. And after all of this is done, you will never see me again. I hated every single moment of it.

-

I will be using this account as a way to answer questions, I will NOT be answering anything that seems aggressive.

The reason why I wanted to be more spoken out about this is to prevent any creators misusing their platforms and taking advantage of their fans.

I am not saying I am victim of this, my experience is to show he has not changed at all. I hardly even want to call myself a victim.

[polarizedlight]

Ven's deleted Tumblr post:

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[polarizedlight]

Listening to Reckless Battery Burns after hearing End-World Normopathy is such a cool experience, because it seemed to have random lyrics when it first came out, but then you realize that the lyrics weren't random at all.

An analysis of the lyrics of most of Reckless Battery Burns under the cut:

Sheer thrills and frivolities Erratum discussions held under my control Conveyed in tongue, said again and again While waiting for the hour The shadows standing still

Tamari's perspective on listening to / conducting therapy sessions??

They dance on the edge of life They whisper a story told of prepossessing image The world is spinning, the sun so bright It's full of hatred and doting Get out of my mouth

The nature of reality in the story (a simulation? something else?) effects humankind (and Tamari's patients). The negative aspects of humanity Tamari has to endure during the sessions is a heavy, unwelcome weight.

Invite suicidation Transfer enumeration Dyed and used it for an infestation

Tamari has been giving vibes of a trickster-type since the beginning. When Tamari runs away before the events in End-World Normopathy, they must have been unleashing chaos into everyone mentally. (And maybe even before they ran away too -- and starting experimenting with how to do it in the lab.) Tamari not only possesses deep knowledge about the human psyche, but has the power and ability to affect it.

In the future, when you and I are Eating and handcrafting theory

Tamari's and Mariyam's discussions after the events of End-World Normopathy???

Fingers crawl across and playing He's grinning, making memories Inattentive signs on a wall Long lost for sure

"He" = a character we haven't seen yet? Memories are probably literally being created somehow, either for humankind and/or for Tamari and Mariyam.

Aren't I hurting anyone? Perhaps it's time for me to tear apart For what it is I've been Denote my place within humanity Projecting by my will I've been amassing solid iron claws Ignore the rottenness And my recitals will decay in a flash!

More about Tamari entering the psyche of everyone and causing chaos. (HEY, maybe that's why Tamari is in everything in the music video!!!!! 200 IQ @ myself for figuring that out) "Amassing solid iron claws" = some of the self-modifications Tamari has done, but this could also be figuratively about their behavior.

I know it's late, but we have to get home Endless staining and fading, these scars, indefinite Wondering what it would be like to be locked In a room with electrical lights that burn like a match

About how Tamari is coming back for Mariyam "Locked in a room with electrical lights that burn like a match" = the establishment Maryiam and previously Tamari were held in

Remember the human heart Began as a vessel hallowed out to be imparted It can't be hurt, but it can be killed Begins to burn in a spiral of animosity

About Tamari's and Mariyam's construction?? Or maybe everyone is "artifical" in the world, and so humans are just as "real" as Tamari and Mariyam. But also probably about the nature of human hearts (and how people will impart meaning, ideas, feeling, ideology, causes etc. into their own heart -- which means as long as you convince someone to impart it in their heart, you can impart what you want)

Its nerve endings long ago Gone scarlet and white as they predicted not returning They stared intently at twilight's face Through the open door, through the flowers As she unfurled her will

About Tamari deciding to run away (maybe after finally becoming or realizing that they're sentient).

"As she unfurled her will" = Fayrouz's confrontation with them as they were in reach of the door OR about Mariyam escaping and enacting her own will

A happy face of me It's not a nightmare, just some nonsense!

See? Some more of the trickster type from Tamari. So it seems while Tamari is causing a lot of mayhem (and maybe even suffering), it's not for a malicious reason.

My heart races to the root of my neck My lungs growing thicker at the hands of men

Entering everyone's psyche has an effect on Tamari, too, since they have a psyche themselves! It's a 2 way street.

Let us focus on getting through the day Without making him angry again My hands grow numb when I think of what's wrong

Focusing on getting through the day of the therapy sessions? Making "him" angry again = generic patient or a specific character we haven't seen yet?

My mind full of anything that's left of her

Mariyam??? Fayrouz?? Both????

I'm too worthless to return To playing such a harmful role again Eventually, I'll become The pain that everyone's abetted

Tamari views their initial role as the AI therapist as harmful. Whether Tamari is views it as harmful to specifically just themself or everyone in general, I'm leaning toward it being the former at first, but then additionally the latter.

Ignore the rottenness, and see your beautiful, bewildered face!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"And my sister just gives me this weird surreal look."

Also, while writing Tamari and Mariyam over and over again, the names have a lot similar sounds in it.

[polarizedlight]

Malicious entities in horror that don't even try to appear more terrifying to humans because they are already that horrifying by themselves and know it.

vs

Malicious entities in horror that actively try to seem the exact opposite as what they are, trying as hard as possible to seem mundane and affable, and their true selves only peak through for moments when they slip up.

[polarizedlight]

I will forever maintain the biggest mistake Riordan made in writing The Heroes of Olympus was splitting the POV to a different character each chapter. The 2nd being the entire plot line with Gaea.

Percy Jackson as a whole had so much magic to it that the Heroes of Olympus just didn't have. A lot of it had to do with it entirely being from Percy's perspective, who we saw grow (and grew with). Not only was Percy Jackson personal, but the plot line with the Titans using estranged demigods in their army was incredibly conflicting and emotional. The Heroes of Olympus just didn't have that!

It also always bothered me that after the resolution at the end of The Last Olympian, the characters are immediately ejected into a new quest to prevent Gaea from overtaking the world. It made me feel: what was the point?

Gaea was supposed to be a bigger threat, but it definitely did not feel like it. Arachne was the most memorable villain in the series.

Riordan should have scrapped Gaea and focused more on the relations between Camp Halfblood and Camp Jupiter. It's hard to feel invested in Camp Jupiter when Camp Halfblood had 5 books dedicated to it. The series should have been from the POV of one character from Camp Jupiter.

Having each book in a different perspective would have also worked. Chopping up POVs into a roulette of chapters for 5 brand new characters had the reader barely meet the characters.

Here's my hot take: Piper and Leo should have been Roman demigods along with the others and Leo should have been the main character. It could even be a plot point where how they have to reconcile their personalities clashing with Camp Jupiter's rules.

Out of all the characters introduced in the Heroes of Olympus, Leo's chapters were the best ones. While still sarcastic like Percy, his voice is distinctive enough to be different from Percy's but not bland like some other characters...

And then from Leo's POV, the reader would have quickly realized the mysterious demigod who appeared at Camp Jupiter was Percy! And then go from there.

And THEN in the 2nd or 3rd book, Hazel is introduced and is recently brought back from the dead through Nico. Hazel seems mysterious and is acting strange through Leo's POV, and eventually it's revealed that 1) she was brought back from the underworld 2) she knew his grandpa. (Also... she and Frank wouldn't date, since that age gap was odd.)

The Argos II was a nice homage to Jason and the Argonauts. That can be kept for some quests they would have inevitably went on to Greece and Rome.

[polarizedlight]

FNAF Godtiers

Yes really. What if they all played sburb?!?!

William Afton – Prince of Life

He destroyed life when he killed children. He also destroys using the life he’s given to his creations. [Alternatively: Thief of Life]

Charlie & Puppet – Maid of Heart

She serves to aid the souls of fellow victims and uses this army of ghosts to protect living children that visit the restaurant. At one point, she was made of soul/essence. When she gave life, she was placing souls in the animatronics. [Alternatively: Rogue of Heart or Knight of Heart ]

Michael Afton – Heir of Doom

He inherited the doom his father caused, partially because he inherited his appearance. He inherited doom when he died and lived as a zombie. Unintentionally, he brought doom to his brother. Quite evidently, doom runs in the family. In the end, he brought doom to the hells his father was responsible for.

Henry Emily – Mage of Hope

Through his expertise and hard work, he was able to bring his dreams to reality. When these dreams turned into nightmares, he had enough hope still in him to come up with a plan to end it all. He placed immense hope in his daughter.

Elizabeth & Circus Baby – Witch of Breath

A free spirit. She does whatever she wants to do, which is why she ignored her father when she wandered too close to Circus Baby. Sharing a body, Circus Baby is closely affiliated with her. After being trapped for years, she itched to escape to be free. [Alternatively: Thief of Breath]

Crying Child & Golden Freddy  – Seer of Void

He can see what is hidden. This is a major source of his constant terror. He saw and communicated with an entity only he could see. He also saw things he wasn’t supposed to see, such as a peek inside a safe room and possibly some murders (or evidence of). He wasn’t one to speak much. When he died, he would mostly be hidden as Golden Freddy, who would seemingly appear and vanish out of nowhere.

Phone Guy – Rogue of Light

Through his training calls and tapes, he is a significant source of valuable information. Information he acquired is given to others for their benefit. Sometimes, he spills insider information he likely wasn’t supposed to reveal. [Alternatively: Rogue of Hope]

Phone Dude – Thief of Time

A big fan of the past, he steals artifacts from old buildings to recreate it. Also, he wastes time, what more could possibly be said?

Jeremy – Page of Mind

We can infer he was likely young from Phone Guy referring to Jeremy’s position as a “summer job”. He had a lot of potential to do anything he put his mind to. Then he got his frontal lobe got bitten off. However, he still has potential, because he survived.

Fritz Smith – Bard of Space

He tampered with the animatronics on his first and only night. By doing this, he indirectly brought chaos and destruction to the space around him. There was already chaos, and the restaurant was already condemned, but he probably made it worse.

[polarizedlight]

[polarizedlight]

Hell Applebee’s

I had a dream this morning where I went to a restaurant that seemed like it was straight from Hell.

Most of the time, my dreams are devoid of people who actually exist, so made-up people are my friends or family instead. This was one of those dreams. I was sitting with some friends at the restaurant and we began to look at the menu.

Everything and everyone in it, besides the customers, were uncanny. Before being seated, you had to give your ID and wallet to someone at a counter. It looked like a nice place despite this, because it looked like an Applebee’s. None of the options on the menu were familiar, nor did they have prices. Once the food came, it tasted alright anyway. It wasn’t enjoyable though.

It seemed every two minutes, celebrities I was unfamiliar with kept on coming to our table to shake our hands and give us autographs. They tended to be K-Pop bands or athletes, all being things I wasn’t familiar with. I didn’t ask anyone at the table, but none of them seemed to recognize any of the celebrities that would come up and bother us either.

An agonizing loud crash came from the kitchen area. Apparently, a waiter dropped everything he was holding as he was walking out the doors. We knew this because someone on the speakers announced this. They began ranting to the entire restaurant how clumsy & pathetic that employee was for several minutes.

Someone from the table behind wasn’t having it. She stood up and started shouting about how it was an accident and that they should respect their staff. Very shortly after this, someone from the kitchen came up to that table. He was old and skinny, with short grey curly hair and scabs all over his face. He stared at her without blinking once and got in her face, yelling the entire time.

All of us at our table were freaking out. He noticed that one of us made a face from the corner of his eye and started getting in their face and started snapping at us. Luckily, he didn’t get in my face. I was sitting at the far end of the table, next to a divider wall, but it wouldn’t have made much of a difference; the first girl he yelled at was at the same position at her table. It was actually a miracle he didn’t notice me, because I was covering my face and burying my head in the napkins, silently freaking out and laughing hysterically.

Someone else from the kitchen came up shortly after he left us alone and gave us a dish to try to “make up” for it. It looked like mini sushi, but it was actually a biscuit as you bit into it. We didn’t know if it was actually free.

For some reason, you paid at a counter. We didn’t leave a tip. At this point, we had no idea how much we had to pay, but we didn’t dare try to dispute it or go back to the table. We were just grateful we could leave.

As we were waiting in line, we were looking at the photos, posters, newspaper clippings, and postcards on the wall. (Remember, we were at Hell Applebee’s.) Except they were weird. Because of course they were. They weren’t even scary or anything. Just things like “Screams heard from Niagara Falls!”.

Finally, we got our IDs back and could leave, but not before justifying why we were leaving.

[polarizedlight]

here’s another Jenna Thought kind of in continuation to my last jenna post. in sync up, the squip explains to jeremy exactly why jenna’s life sucks, and when jeremy asks how he can help, the squip tells jeremy to continue ignoring her, thus perpetuating the problem and keeping jenna isolated. 

now, where else have we seen the squip telling its user to keep someone in a bad situation? rich. rich may have already had anger problems and wanted to push others down to keep himself on top, but the squip specifically instructed him to target jeremy. 

there’s two ways i can read this pattern. one is that the squip always had plans of getting as many people as possible to take squips, and focused on making jeremy’s life suck as much as possible so that when he was offered a squip he would see it as the only solution to improve his life. 

the other is that targeting jeremy and then later offering him a squip was a coincidence, because the squip hadn’t yet gained a world-domination mentality. but while the jeremy situation may have not been elaborately planned, i think making jeremy ignore jenna until the last second was planned. i think sync up is the very beginning of the squip realizing that other people in the school would “benefit” from having squips, and it immediately picked out jenna as the most likely candidate to take one of her own free will, if she was just pushed far enough out of the friend group she wanted to be a part of to the point where taking a supercomputer pill seemed like her best option. 

even if it’s not as deep as that, you can’t deny the squip making rich bully jeremy until offering him a way to suddenly be cool and popular isn’t echoed in the squip telling jeremy to ignore jenna until she so badly wanted to be part of a group that she would willingly join the “i have a supercomputer in my brain” club.

[polarizedlight]

we really don’t talk about jenna enough 

which i understand is in part due to the fact that, like many important parts of the bmc story and characters, a lot of her depth was added or made more obvious in the broadway version. so there hasn’t been as much time for discussions to have happened or circulated BUT. we gotta get on this people 

like…. she was just as unhappy with her life as jeremy and rich were. those are the only 3 characters that willingly take squips. (again, the fact jenna takes a squip by choice rather than being tricked into it is a new addition that wasn’t even in the off-broadway version, but it makes complete sense that jeremy would have no reason to lie and jenna would have no reason not to take a squip.) 

while the scene where jenna takes a squip happens a lot faster than jeremy’s journey from learning what a squip is to going out and getting one, we don’t know that she didn’t already know at least vaguely what a squip was and had time to imagine the way her life might change with one. there’s multiple scenes (in the mall when jeremy first takes a squip + the scene between a guy that i’d kinda be into and upgrade, off the top of my head) where jenna is nearby watching jeremy talk to himself. there’s every possibility that she figured out jeremy had something weird going on. she saw him talking to the shady dude in the back of payless, she saw him freaking out and talking to himself, and she saw him immediately change his attitude and shift his entire social persona. 

so it’s highly possible that when jeremy offers her a squip, she has a nearly complete understanding of what may happen to her as a result. the only other character who had previous knowledge of squips is christine, and if we compare christine and jenna’s reactions to being offered squips, we see that while christine has personal struggles and wishes for things to be easier, jenna has a much stronger feeling that things will not get better for her if she doesn’t accept outside help. 

jenna was lonely and cut off from her peers on a similar level but in a different way than jeremy. she had to make herself entertaining, a source of drama and excitement, to get any interaction at all. (i just realized that maybe that’s why her halloween costume is a clown. she literally sees herself as an entertainer rather than on equal ground with everyone else.) there’s a specific kind of isolation that you experience when you’re surrounded by people you call friends, but they never actually connect to you and understand how you feel. you feel replaceable, you feel unloved, and you feel like you have to change something about yourself to be truly seen. 

[polarizedlight]

Hi where the FUCK was Twenty One Pilots when I was in middle school!!!!! When I needed them the most! (They did exist back then but only the first album was written. Still, I can’t believe I’m just getting into them now. They are so good...)

[polarizedlight]

It helps you feel less of a failure if you decide “I’m not doing this” rather than “you cant do this because you fucked up too much”.

But whatever. I’m still not doing it. That’s what I decided for myself & my life. I’ll do anything but continue through this particular bullshit. I am fucking done. Maybe if I wasn’t an idiot and put everything off way too late, none of this would be a problem. But that doesn’t change anything now. It is what it is, and the reality at the moment is that I feel awful most of the time every single day. Also, there’s no going back. There is going forward, but I’m not going to do that. I’ll go sideways.

Life is more freeing when you’ll do anything but a particular thing. It definitely feels more liberating than following one particular path... one that has always made you feel terrible.

The hardest part about this is believing everything will work out, because that’s what I always told myself. And it’s why I’m in this place now.

[polarizedlight]

Something I kinda wanna see in BMC fan content is Rich realizing that Jeremy lied to him about the “My dad drinks too.”

Like, he’d understand, Rich has told hundreds of lies under that thing’s guidance, but he’d kind of hoped that with Jeremy having a Squip too, there could be someone who knows the real him.  No one’s liked him for who he really is, not in freshman year when no one noticed him, and not in the following years when he was acting whatever way they wanted him too.  It’d be like, him and Jeremy with their Squips against the world.

But  if he does hang out with Jeremy when the boy’s not too busy climbing the social ladder and always moving up never stopping, then it’s still a performance, and as his Squip tells him the right things to say not to get closer, but to further their mutual goals of popularity, he realizes that he can’t trust this interaction.  Hasn’t trusted any interaction, because as his Squip loves to remind him, should he slip up, act like himself, and he’ll be right back to being that crushingly lonely loser.

And it’s okay, he can live with it, this isn’t perfect but it’s better than who he was without the Squip.  Jeremy flinches with what Rich knows are shocks and stops dressing in the clothes that always looked comfortable and loses the stutter that made his voice easy to pick out, but his Squip tells him how miserable Jeremy was before and that it may hurt, but this is better for him.  Except Jeremy never looks as happy as he had in moments with that headphones kid (Michael?), stolen moments Rich watched jealously before being instructed to interrupt them.  And where is Michael, where is that best friend that Rich always wished he could have, is he happier, is the hurt the Squip does raising him up too – OW!  okay, okay, it doesn’t matter!  Michael doesn’t matter!

And then it’s Halloween and Rich always loved this holiday (you can put on a costume and be whoever you want, and people will see you and judge you based on what you chose to be and actually like it) but the Squip is telling Rich how pressured Jake is, how jealous Chloe is, names and issues and how they’d all love Squips of their own and with their popularity they could distribute more to the student body than Rich ever could himself, and Rich realizes he’s known these people for years and never heard half of these insecurities, and either the Squip’s lying to him or he’s never been close enough to hear these secrets, the popular kids might as well have been lying to him to hide all these things, and with their own Squips they’ll lie more and more even when they don’t want to and he misses being himself and he’s as fucking lonely as he ever was freshman year and his Squip keeps talking and persuading and wants him to spike the punch with Mountain Dew and he has to deactivate it but no one’s even heard of MD Red and Rich is weak and the Squip won’t stop and he has to get everyone out of this house before–

…

He doesn’t really remember much about the hospital.  Thinks his Squip told him to say some things to the police that came by, doesn’t remember if he actually did.  Days and days pass, then a horrible seizing pain that blacks him out, and his head is quiet.

And Jeremy’s unconscious in the bed next to him.  And wouldn’t you know it, Mr. Heere comes to visit and sits and holds Jeremy’s hand and talks to himself about how he’s sorry and how he’s going to make things right.  And probably-named-Michael spends as much time as he can in the room.  (Ignoring Rich.  That’s fair.)  Which, great, it’s great that Jeremy has a dad who obviously loves him and a real friend and they can remind him who he really is because they bothered to remember him and –

It’s good that the whole picture of a messed-up home life for Jeremy too was a lie.

(Later, when Jeremy tells him about the divorce, about his dad’s depression to the point of not dressing himself, about the rift that seemed there between him and Michael in understanding just how unhappy Jeremy was, it’s… it’s not a relief that Jeremy was hurting, but he realizes he can finally trust that this is real, that it’s the truth.  And he doesn’t feel lonely anymore.)

[polarizedlight]

These are amazing additions! I didn’t expect anyone to respond, let alone respond with so much thought.

Thank you for the correction about Christine and the Squip. I only thought of when she said “Jeremy, you were right about everything!”, but yeah, she DID also outright say how she doesn’t need a Squip or anything else to change before that. It does make more sense that she took the Squip by accident, especially considering everything you said.

Also, the part where you said that Christine feels isolated because she is super into her interests and others aren’t ties into a lot of went wrong between her and Jake, as he is more breadth than depth when getting into things. I think the tipping point of their relationship was when he dressed as the wrong Prince. (She sounded really crushed, oof.)

I don’t really have much to add on besides that I see a lot of that in Michael too, with missing social cues (though I don’t think this particularly bothers him the same way) and having deep interests. And just like Christine, he loves to live as genuinely and as confidently as he can while still being vulnerable and lonely at times. Though, Christine is more used to being by herself than Michael is.

Okay so I’ve been trying to make a Venn diagram of Michael/Christine and they have far more similarities than differences. However there is one HUGE difference:

While Michael has Jeremy as his best fiend, Christine literally has no friends in the musical until Jeremy comes along. you could ague that she has off-screen friends and while that could be true, none of them were important enough for her to mention at an point in a story where everyone else besides Jenna had a friend, and it was a plot point for Jenna to have no real friends.

Christine is clearly insecure, which we can see from the entire Jake subplot and the how Jeremy’s thoughtless comments affected her to the point where she did end up taking a Squip. 

That really makes me wonder how she felt at the beginning of the musical.  🤔 Little did Jeremy know that she probably felt just as lonely as he did, except that she didn’t even have a friend like Michael like he did. (Not minimizing how awful  Jeremy felt– just pointing out the positive impact one good friend can have!)