polaris-luna

[polaris-luna]

Back on my bullshit after a year long matinence phase :)

[polaris-luna]

Y’all I’m about to get out of the 120s for weight and out of the 19s for bmi, I’m so hyped

[polaris-luna]

I just got the biggest irl egospo, my school is serving pizza and obvi I’m not having any so my friends got me to order one so they could have extra LOL

[polaris-luna]

I’m on a school trip and everyone’s eating and idk what to do I’m just hiding in the washroom lol

[polaris-luna]

I’m in a binging cycle😔😔 I’ve binged 3 times in only 5 days. I’m 99% sure I’m abt to get my period tho so when I’m done pmsing the problem will be gone. What I’m doing to mitigate it though is becoming even more structured/strict in my eating (lack of structure causes binges for me) and eating 2 big meals rather than 4 small ones. To make this happen I’m attempting to switch from 20:4 IF to 22:2

[polaris-luna]

When I get close to my ugw I might start planning a complete pamper/treat myself day

I have little gifts for myself set up when I reach each gw

120 lbs: full length mirror for my room

115 lbs: lululemon leggings

110 (ugw): I’m not sure yet but I have 14 lbs worth of time to think of something really good

[polaris-luna]

I have little gifts for myself set up when I reach each gw

120 lbs: full length mirror for my room

115 lbs: lululemon leggings

110 (ugw): I’m not sure yet but I have 14 lbs worth of time to think of something really good

[polaris-luna]

My mom noticed lol she’s like “have u been losing weight” and I’m like “idk I don’t weigh myself” and she’s like “ur the smallest person I’ve ever seen”

[polaris-luna]

I went from balls deep into a binge to 6 hrs into a fast today. The duality of rexies lol

[polaris-luna]

I’m not weighing myself till wednesday and I’m gonna take lax before I do and I’m hoping to be 122 at most

[polaris-luna]

My mental health is so shit right now I’m tired of it I thought I’d be okay by now

[polaris-luna]

Tell me why I binge the literal day I hit a gw I fucking hate myself

[polaris-luna]

To myself:

You’re at the fucking mall to avoid eating. Are you really gonna eat right now?? In public?? You binged on Saturday lmao dummy. You have prom on the 12th, get into this headspace and you’ll get too big for your dress fat fuck, suck it up and gain some self control. Your lack of discipline is astonishing for someone who’s “anorexic”, looking in a mirror is all the motivation you need.

Edit: you’re also like 1 pound away from a gw why is this thought even crossing your mind idiot

[polaris-luna]

My limit was 800 for the longest time but I’ve just lowered it to 600 except I keep eating 800 by accident and now it feels like a binge :( new limits are a lot to get used to even when they’re raised

[polaris-luna]

My goal is to get to under 120 by prom. my prom is may 12th so I have 16 days to lose 7.5lbs which I think is doable

[polaris-luna]

Sitting in my schools cafeteria during lunch is such good egospo

[polaris-luna]

The only thing stopping me from unaliving tonight is that I have to reach my ugw first