poetryforthem

[poetryforthem]

The Playground Remembers

Can swing sets be lonely? 

When no one is there to play with them. 

The black tar seats, that used to burn my skin in the sun 

sway slowly in the breeze. The decade old rusty chains 

squeak as the sunsets, over the oak trees and Spanish moss. 

Lovers sometimes swing there, do you remember? 

Dusk, the only light from the twinkling stars blanketed by

polluted air. Legs intertwined, swings intertwined, is this

love? Do the swings remember?

Do they remember the laughs of children, begging their

parents to push them just one more time? Do they remember

us? Are they sad that we no longer visit them anymore? Heart

pounding, legs aching, I run past them over and over 

again. I promise one day I will stop and sit and swing. I promise the

swings.

[poetryforthem]

The Things Left Over

Did you keep the book that i spent hours manticiuously underlining and highlighting every line that made me think of you.

Do you still read the notes that i left in the margins. Little loves notes, each one swims before my vision. I don’t need physical pages to remember how much I loved you.

You never finished the book. Fiction is not your thing, you say. You never liked to compromise. But it was okay, because for you, I was as flexible as a weeping willow.

Perhaps the book will find another home. Left in a dusty bin, in the back of a goodwill store. Someone else can read the mark left on my heart. I hope it makes them happy.

[poetryforthem]

“When we lose people, we lose them gradually, over the years, one aspect at a time” - Carolina from The Quiet Ones

[poetryforthem]

Bleeding Fruits

Lip trembling as you struggle to find the right words to say, eyes averting,  hurting, mourning a living person. As the cloudless sky taunts us with its bright fluorescent beams of sunlight.  Sorry, that you bit into the juicy flesh  Of the pomegranate.  I had no intention to stain your shirts, that used to be so white, so perfectly white.   Ruined by the dye dripping from bleeding hearts.  A tattered flag raised high up on a pole, fluttering lightly in the breeze. Ripped down with claws, crafted from seeds. The fruit of temptation,  is offered only once.  The euphoric high of perfection,  dangling barely out of reach.  Hovering above my head, Tantalus’s eternal hell.  Warning: war paint wreaked havoc on my face,  bright, fresh cuts painted  displayed as stripes of bravery.  Hiding the damage underneath.  Sorry, for offering you a taste. 

[poetryforthem]

“Growing Pains” | by @poetryforthem

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“I do not believe in love.”

I stare in shock

at the person

I thought— I knew.

“What do you mean?”

Heart pounding against my ribcage

like a moth against the light inside a house.

Over and over again.

“Sorry, that’s not true. What I meant to say is,

my definition of love is unique.”

A deep breath to stare into the eyes

that used to seem familiar.

“How do you define Love?”

My fingers tremble, itching to hold hands.

But they are far away,

even as they perch on the couch next to me.

“I guess,

if I would take a bullet for you.

I would take a bullet for my best friend.”

Not you.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Do you want to hear my definition?”

My voice cracks,

a ship crashing into the iceberg.

Sinking down, down, down.

“Sure.”

“Love is never selfish.

Love doesn’t ask for anything in return,

love only gives.

To Love

is to be vulnerable,

to allow your insecurities and fears to show.

To Love is to let someone see your wounds and

trust them, not to make them deeper.

To allow them to see the challenges that

made you the person you are today.

To understand each other on a deeper level and never

look away.

Love is freeing for them

binding for you.

To Love someone

gives them permission to

leave if that makes them happier.

To not only let them,

but encourage them to take the path to success even

if the path turns away from your own.

To Love is to be able to step aside if it isn’t meant to be.

To Love is to put someone first and hope they do the same.

Love is not

selfish.

Love is also in all the little things.

It can be found when intertwined in bed,

listening to each other’s heartbeats and the

pattering of rain on the roof over your heads.

When you’re teasing each other and

laughing so hard that tears squeeze out of the corner of your eyes.

When you’re dancing in a crowd of people

yet, it feels like it’s only us two.

Love flows through all the intimate moments.

The hand— casually on the back in reassurance.

The kiss on the cheek when out in public.

The casual grazing of the hand on the soft skin of their cheek.

The tender brush of lips on the back of their hand.

The content smile that follows.

Love is in the

future.

When they are the person present when you think about the next ten years.

When they are the person you want your friends and family to approve of.

When you start discussing places you want to travel to, places you want to live

“I” slowly becomes “we” and “us.”

Love is not linear

Love never stops growing.

Love needs to be nurtured,

like a newborn plant.

With the proper care and attention,

Love can blossom into something so

beautiful it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

But with neglect and lack of attention

Love withers away until there’s nothing left to

save.

Love is a gift that makes life worth living.”

Their unfocused gaze comes back to mine.

And for once, I truly see them.

I look away.

[poetryforthem]

When you miss all the good memories but they can never make up for the pain they chose to cause you.

[poetryforthem]

Help Me Understand | by @poetryforthem

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How did you look into eyes shining with love?

Then cast your gaze away,

before texting words full of feeling seconds later,

To another person anyway.

How did you hear me open up my heart to you?

And trust you with my deepest fears.

Then exploit them as if nothing I said,

Was of any importance.

How did you kiss my cheeks with love that felt so pure?

Then try to kiss someone else,

as I laid in my bed.

Daydreaming about you.

How did you stare directly into my trusting eyes?

And tell me I would never cheat on you.

When that statement already held the weight of,

months of lies.

How could you get down on one knee and propose to me?

And state that actions speak louder than words.

Oh, how you loved that phrase.

But then you go on a date with another person within the next few days.

And how could you ever say you love me?

Then break my heart

Throw away my trust

And spit on any respect, without remorse.

Did you ever love me?

My head swims with questions.

That I painfully accept,

I will never get an answer to.

These thoughts chew me up inside,

as I reflect on every moment.

That I once gazed upon fondly.

Before you spit them out onto the dirty ground.

A dark shadow,

now dampens every single memory we had.

Because how can I ever trust,

that anything you said or did was genuine?

When you can lie so easily?

As I gave you absolutely everything I had,

placed your needs above my own;

and it was never enough.

Yet, you were so incredibly selfish.

Taking all my commitment, passion, and love.

Happily sapping at my dwindling energy.

In return, you gave just enough back,

to keep me entranced - bound to you like an addiction.

When the glass was finally shattered,

revealing the person you are underneath,

that facade of the perfect person.

You desperately wanted to appear to be.

You gave one last half-hearted attempt,

to weave me back into your trap.

But I learned your manipulative ways.

The hard way.

You will not ensnare me again,

In your web of selfish obsession.

Because it was never love was it?

It was control.

It was desire.

It was whatever you needed, it was always one-sided.

You never loved me,

not in the beautiful way I loved you.

Love is not selfish or full of lies.

Despite what you may have convinced yourself of.

You once said,

I do not believe in love.

Perhaps your selfish nature,

has taken away the ability to love.

And for that,

I pity you greatly.

Although loving you has made me feel,

as if my world was falling apart.

I would never take back,

what I felt for you.

True love makes life worth living,

and that feeling can fuel a thousand fires.

I hope one day you can learn to love yourself enough,

that you can love another person the way,

people deserve to be loved.

As for me,

I am recovering from the deep wounds you have inflicted on my soul.

I am learning to trust again.

I am learning to love myself again.

I am destined to be reborn.

[poetryforthem]

Help Me Forget | by @poetryforthem

I am constantly,

chasing a whirlwind of emotions.

With the intention of forgetting,

who you were to me.

I will go to any lengths,

just to forget your name for a single moment.

I allow breaths heavy with the scent of tobacco,

breathe down my straining spine.

I lose myself in the temporary pleasure,

erasing your touch from my skin.

And when it is all over,

I find myself sad again.

Nothing can compare to you,

but I keep trying until they do.

[poetryforthem]

Reborn | by @poetryforthem

I am reborn.

Like an angel who finally found their wings,

you unintentionally set me free.

Finally, I can breathe.

[poetryforthem]

The Ending | by @poetryforthem

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Like paper machete you ripped my heart up,

viciously cleaving it into two jagged shards.

Never thought something could hurt this much,

that was before i met you.

Every time you held me,

and told me i was the only one.

Every time you kissed me,

and told me you were mine.

EVERY TIME YOU FUCKING SAID YOU CARE

I should have realized,

my feelings were your very last concern.

As you texted other people,

while you held my hand and kissed my forehead.

Still I cling on to every scrape of possibility,

somehow this nightmare is a figment of someone’s imagination.

Everything is numb.

Because deep down I know we are done.

[poetryforthem]

Foolish Girl | by @poetryforthem

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Something is off,

has been for the past month.

Uncertainty is driving me crazy.

When was the last time you called me baby?

Where are the sweet things

you used to tell me daily?

I’ve fallen so hard for you, it’s ridiculous.

I feel strung along like a piece of drying laundry.

Now when I ask you questions,

you look the other way.

And spit out lies,

when I stare deep into those bewitching brown eyes.

On the tip of my tongue,

dangles those three traitorous words.

I love you.

I thought you loved me too?

At least, you used to.

[poetryforthem]

“Elixir of Life” | by @poetryforthem

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the velvet curtains are parted

revealing a stream of unyielding sunlight

which breaks through the moody gloom

and attempts to scatter the shadows

that cling to every crevice

the world is hazy

as if being viewed through an unfocused microscope

parts go in and out of focus

and time goes by unnoticed

until the golden elixir is consumed

dripping down the throat

coating insides with its sickening sweetness

suddenly, the world is in focus

and the wheels begin to turn

just ignore the shaking

of every limb

and the disillusionment from reality

the body craves this feeling

and becomes dependent

because how do you say no?

to the elixir of life

even if it’s a disguise

to avoid the root of the issue

that no one is happy.

[poetryforthem]

“Many people use anxiety as a blanket emotion for the things they can’t, won’t, or don’t know how to feel.”

- Glow in the F*cking Dark by Tara Schuster

[poetryforthem]

“Entrancing Snake Dance” | by @poetryforthem

__________________________________

when i dance for them

i move my hips

side to side

like a predator entrancing

it’s prey

the snare snaps shut

but they still

wriggled their way

out of my trap

so i go back to my hip

swaying, swaying

but their attention is only held

for so long

and i grow weary

til one day

my hip swaying

is not enough

and they run away

[poetryforthem]

“The Importance of Life” | by @poetryforthem

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as the marionettes waltz

to the tune of the parade

they think they are free

but someone is holding their strings

someone is always holding

their strings

even when they get knotted

and wrapped around their cloth necks

so they begin to choke and claw at the

woven fibers

but the fibers are sharp

and slice through thin layer

revealing cotton stuffing beneath

which pools out of their slit

like intestines slipping out of a sliced gut

the marionettes rush to the seamstress shop

where they are patched back together

then kicked to the curb

with no home

but on the outside

they look shiny and brand new

children leave them against the house

for it seems like they belong to

someone else

but as the days go by

they chip again

their colorful designs begin to fade

and dirt smears their once smiling facade

now no one even looks their way

once the seams have parted

it all goes to dust

it all just goes to dust

[poetryforthem]

“Sometimes, doesn’t happiness seem… fake? Like it might be something someone invented. An impossible goal we’ll never reach, just to keep us all quiet”

- Alone With You in the Ether By Olivie Blake

[poetryforthem]

“That to love a person was to forfeit the need to place limits on them, and therefore to love was to exist in a constant, paralyzing threat”

- Alone With You in the Ether By Olivie Blake