poetrybones

[poetrybones]

This love

Caressing my fingers in the dew drenched light of morning

Crooning with the birds as the night surrendered to the day

Consciousness heeding delicately to their smile

Eyes fluttered softly to embrace another spring

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"I give you permission to burden me"

A sentence I had been waiting to hear my entire life.

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I always thought love was ravaging and insane. That it roared through the soul like a fire tearing down an unsuspecting city in the night.

But then the gentle sun of real love caressed my skin and I awoke to an easy Sunday that glittered over the horizon.

I answered the phone without a pit in my stomach, prose fell out of my mouth without fear my body and heart settled while my mind asked: "what's the catch?"

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Then one day, I tasted another.

The nectar of my past didn't spill over his lips, and you were nowhere to be found.

This sweetness was unsalted, tears had yet to fall. My feet dangled over the cliff while my heart buried it's fingers in the dirt. Reaching for the roots of pain, hoping to remind my poor romantic soul before I jumped yet again.

But that firework smile said it was too late.

After all, hopeless romantics are full of hope.

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"I've got nothing but love for you"

-a euphemism for I'm so deeply in love with you even the pain you've inflicted isn't enough to release my heart from the molasses of words once spoken

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I tucked my love under the mattress of solitude and moved on, turning over like waves of the ocean pressed cyclically against the hard shore with an unconsenting force that shattered the fragile hearts that hid beneath.

The fervent love for you forced into a break which rivaled only the moon. In it's conquest for love we watched saddles slow and chainmail crumble under the light of a night that once promised day

I exclaimed

Forward my fist like the trees which reached towards the open sky from crowded hollows

I wept

Tears rushing oceans over rocks which formed canyons of grief for future generations to explore

I wallow

In the caves of uncertainty so vast and narrow with suffocating steadfastness they hold onto the darkness

I sigh

And let go of the horizon. Pinks and yellows slipping through my fingertips with a delicate hope which paints the sky.

I scrape my eyes along it's canvas in prayer

Feel my devotion, blunt as a finger in plum pie

Sweet I lick the residue from your nail

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The dream I have of love is always of being seen.

I yearn to be picked up off the floor and allow them

a witness to my rawness and still call it beauty.

[poetrybones]

Let me love you

In this 4am light

The dregs of the moon

Meet the sleep sanded edges of dawn

Let me love you

When all else rests

I'll hold

Steady with a fervor that withstands

The harshest of storms

Quietest of eyes

I peek

Into the darkness of your night

And hold this silence for you to speak

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You're still the first and last thing to grace my mind each day. I'm so conditioned it no longer sends me into mourning.

I've accepted that I'll always miss you. And this love will never find a place to rest.

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I'm not waiting around for you...

Though my head reads faster than my heart.

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Ive tried to alchemise others

Desperately I sigh

For they will never be you

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I'll adore others

While you're sitting on my mind

Insidious and enveloping

"I miss you" hot on my breath.

Whispered onto the kiss another

[poetrybones]

You came back. I called you as a complete drunken, manic mess and sternly told you everything I felt was wrong with you. I professed my love while also falling apart on the big stage your voice crackling under the 2am glow of my phone as I wandered home from the bar catching my breath between sentences. My heart a broken dam at the most inconvenient of times.

So when you texted me, when you said you missed me and wanted to start over after I reveled in my embarrassment and made up my mind to learn to let go, my hands cramped as I pried them from the empty mug of your love.

The gratitude, the quiet and calm love. The gift you have no idea you imparted. You held my hot, teary face and said "I understand" "Im not leaving" you said "you are so worthy of love".

The child in me sat down and cried for the unconditionality of your presence. The relief, for the first time I felt okay to fully be myself. You made me feel safe.

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You're gentle and I'm realizing that's all I need.

[poetrybones]

[poetrybones]

My great tragedy is my burning is my closest confidant.

Be friends / with your burning.

Rumi, Rumi: The Book of Love: Poems of Ecstasy and Longing; from ‘Moses and the Shepherd’, tr. Coleman Barks