poems-of-nothing

[poems-of-nothing]

Sometimes

I don’t know 

if we even 

know each other— 

sometimes 

I don’t know 

what's going on— 

sometimes 

I’m just confused— 

sometimes 

I don’t think 

you care— 

sometimes 

I wonder if there are 

other things 

you hide from me. 

[poems-of-nothing]

Mirage

Perhaps even Satan 

dreams of heaven. 

I wonder, does he 

reminisce? 

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Malicious

I fall

asleep

thinking

how cruel

god must be.

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Turmoil

I think

all of this

is making me

crazy,

exhausted;

I think

I'll take a nap.

[poems-of-nothing]

Anesthetic

I keep on 

      numbing 

my mind 

      body 

      soul 

and  

      blocking 

out  

      thoughts 

and  

      feelings 

and it’s getting 

       in the way 

of 

 

        Me. 

[poems-of-nothing]

Sojourn

They tell me to remain gentle

stay soft

linger on as the sweet little girl I

used to be

before

before

before

but how does one remain gentle, stay soft,

stay sweet and little

when I've been playing dead my whole life

when the devil's own hooves

dance across my dreams

[poems-of-nothing]

Suffering

-For Landon

When I think about the fact

that I've missed you for

longer than I knew you, that

I've spent years remembering

and years grieving those memories,

that your face changes

in your grave but

never in my mind,

I crumble—

and how do I turn that into poetry?

[poems-of-nothing]

Left Behind

-For Landon

I want you to

know that nothing

feels right anymore;

that all I can

feel are the scars

you left behind.

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One Hour

How many times

have I told myself,

"just get through

one more hour,"

"one more day,"

"one more week,"

and why haven't

I realized?

It all adds up.

[poems-of-nothing]

Running

I find myself running again,

in whatever ways I can.

I run from my world

and find myself a new one;

video games, books,

manga, movies,

magazines—

anything

but this.

[poems-of-nothing]

Static

My head is but

a symphony

in stasis.

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Dialectical

Well, which is it?

Unrelenting rage?

Or

perpetual sorrow?

[poems-of-nothing]

Roses and Lilies

When I try

to imagine you,

all I can see

is your grave,

and the flowers

we put on top.

[poems-of-nothing]

Birth Date

I did it—

another year,

spinning

around this

sun,

drifting

around this

hellhole,

shambling

around

dazed—

and

for what?

[poems-of-nothing]

Ocean of Tears

When I swim

in this ocean,

I wonder if it

was filled with

my own

bitter tears.

[poems-of-nothing]

Black Egg

False successor,

born of black

moon—

Conceived by

light

and water,

living within

multitudes

of nothing—

I survive,

only to hate

and hurt.

[poems-of-nothing]

Deep Sea

Ocean waves

take me

deeper, deeper—

further and further—

I’m cold now, and

I can’t fight it

anymore.