plumesofio

[plumesofio]

Any other trans mascs feel like the pressure to conform to toxic masculinity is extra intense by a society who won't accept us otherwise but also the pressure to not conform even slightly to toxic masculinity or even traditional masculinity at all is extra intense from others?

[plumesofio]

how many times to transmascs and transandrophoia bloggers have to say "we think all trans people have issues worth talking about, and some of us face more or less issues in certain spaces by virtue of our type of transness, but this does not mean one type of transness is inherently easier or harder" until people actually start arguing with that instead of whatever made up raging misogynist they have in their brain

[plumesofio]

anyway i think, especially right now… its important to remind transfems that, just because a popular trans blog says being a man or being attracted to men in any way is bad, does not mean you have to listen to them. you can be multigender, you can be attracted to anyone, its fine. you do not have to be defined by someone on the internet parroting the “men have an evil particle and you must avoid even thinking of men” rhetoric that is Seemingly Fine bcuz its said by a trans person. youre a bigender trans woman whos femmasc? awesome! youre a transhet girl with two boyfriends? cool! dont sacrifice parts of you for face eating leopard ‘totally inclusive’ rad-feminism.

[plumesofio]

im still surprised (but actually im not) that the “trans men make soft boy ukulele music” stereotype is still around, considering the existence of the “trans women make scary loud noise music” stereotype. seeing as the former is usually said by the oppositional sexism “if women experience x then men only experience y” crowd, believing the former implies belief in the latter. theres not really any way around saying you think trans women’s music is all Loud Scary Noise if you believe trans men’s music is all Soft Sad String Instruments

[plumesofio]

once more in a simplified manner if you don’t mind. there isn’t enough space and this is abt transfem vs transmasc oppression so this one will be shittier and less inclusive but i’d appreciate if you do your best with it.

[plumesofio]

ok, due to a conversation i’m having i want to ask how the trans community feels about this

[plumesofio]

'transandrophobia isn't real.' but i just literally only googled /who/ the va for a character in a video game is, and all i could find was people complaining about 'forced inclusivity', 't**nny voice', 'this forced shit', and 'sounding like a b*tch' all because apparently he was voiced by a trans man with 'a t-slur voice' (their words, not mine). something trans men are constantly degraded and judged for. a voice. something no one can choose.

mind you, the character isn't even trans. or if he is, not explicitly so, not even implicitly. but sure. tell me again how everyone just accepts trans men the second they come out. how they magically gain all these special privileges the second they come out. even their voices without faces can't exist without criticism and bitching. i still don't even know the va's name. just that he's trans and people REALLY hate him for the mere fucking sound of his voice.

[plumesofio]

regressing

[plumesofio]

Transandrophobes are like “here is the most vile and disgusting thing I am going to say about a marginalised group with the upmost pride and glee before going on to say how said group is actually lucky and isn’t really that oppressed”

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People: Transmascs and trans men just transition to become misogynistic evil males >:(

Me in my head when I interact with a cis woman: Don't spread your legs, don't sit too closely, but not too far, be approachable, look her in the eyes but not for too long, don't be a creep, fuck, pitch your voice higher, watch your tone, think about how you say shit, FUCK, no stop looking at her, don't stare at your feet, smile, smile more, don't speak too much with your hands, what if I scare her away ? What if she thinks I'm a creep ?

Me in my head when I interact with a cis man: Does he think I'm a man ? Is he hitting on me ? Does he see as a woman ? A gay man ? A weird shit ? I have to use my lower voice. I have to look at him in the eyes of he'll think I'm weak. Is he looking at my chest ? But I don't have boobs anymore ! Why is he staring like that ? Should I use my pronouns more clearly ? What if he thinks I'm a girl but he'll beat me up if I tell him he's wrong ? Should I try to please him just to be safe or stand up for myself ? How do men interact naturally with one another ? I don't want to show toxic masculinity but I don't want to be bullied either. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ACT ????? HELP

[plumesofio]

me when I yell at strawmen. yeah, saying “ideals of masculinity are restrictive” is definitely the same exact thing as saying men are oppressed, great reading comprehension there.

crazy how people assume trans guys dont know if we had short naturally coloured hair and a basic style we'd "pass better." "you want tips on how to pass? no more fun piercings, jewelry, anything feminine, dyed hair, nail polish or nice things for you!" thanks but I choose joy and whimsy x

[plumesofio]

ur right, that is different, i was going off of your own tags where you did in fact say you called them emotional. instead, here you're talking abt one specific event and not their personality. i'm not rlly seeing how it's a witch trial to ask you about and criticize your behavior based on your own post that i saw where you say you won't call trans guys emotional anymore and that they blocked you while still seeing you interact w their post. but yeah ty for responding, i don't feel accusing you of misogyny was appropriate here.

transandrophobia believers will just accuse a trans woman of whatever they want, I guess. And all this after blocking me! Yikes.

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nah it’s an answer i’m seeking. you admit to having called them emotional, so where’s the lie. in addition to block evading.

transandrophobia believers will just accuse a trans woman of whatever they want, I guess. And all this after blocking me! Yikes.

[plumesofio]

It's entirely possible for hyper-visibility and invisibility to both be bad, and it's weird to see other people complaining about their invisibility to be inherently insulting to trans women just because we're often the face of transphobia. Like, that's just so weirdly resentful and unfair? Neither has to be worse than the either, but even if one was worse, the other having it's issues doesn't mean people are claiming that one's worse instead.

Maybe you just shouldn't have "TME" friends if that's how you feel about them and their own struggles. Stop having friends in general, actually, I think you'd probably just find a way to devalue you them too in absence of anyone else to other. Go to Antarctica or enter seclusion at a covenant or something, you need to work on yourself for awhile. Then maybe you can come back when you feel you're ready to treat people like human beings who can also feel pain, and not soulless paper dolls for you to whine about while people who aren't you deal with real problems that trans women actually struggle with, as opposed to "someone else also having a rough time."

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Really annoyed with terfs in trans men's tags trying to present transandrophobia within the trans community as trans women hating "afabs" as a part of some mythical "amab" conspiracy and solidarity.

Like, no, trans radfems (of any gender identity) in general do not think like that. In fact, it has been a trend with them to claim terfs actually ally closely with MRAs and that their misgendering of trans women is purely spiteful and that deep down they recognize trans women as a worse subcategory of women. And they believe trans men factor into the terf/MRA duo and can comfortably rotate between them due to there being no principal differences.

Hatred towards men and manhood is an essential component of transandrophobia within the trans community. It makes some see trans men as their safe punching bag, men you can hit without danger for yourself. Transandrophobia cannot be equated to hatred towards "afabs". And people who claim otherwise simply have an agenda.

[plumesofio]

It is very simple.

1- Stop doing the whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing. That's buying into a sexist worldview even if you switch the values around to "the things I associate with women are good actually" like people tried to do with astrology. You just end up sounding like James Dobson.

2- Get principled about supporting bodily autonomy. Actually internalize the idea that people's bodies belong to them and they can change them if they want. The right to do this comes pre-installed on all people and no one needs to "earn it". You don't even need to conclusively prove that it would make you objectively happier or anything, you should be able to just do it if you want.

3- Understand that trans people are infinitely varied. Even the subcategories of trans people (such as trans women) are infinitely varied, just like cis people. There isn't one singular and universal trans experience just like how there isn't one singular and universal gendered experience. Don't rely on stereotypes and assumptions to form your idea of what being trans is like.

[plumesofio]

Can someone explain to me why every time nonbinary people (rightfully) complain about having binaries forced onto us, the response is always,

“Well actually, this binary is a good binary that I, a binary person, have deemed not exorsexist at all! How dare you not like it! How dare you suggest that it misgenders you! You must be a bad nonbinary, an evil nonbinary! Because all the good nonbinaries like my new binary, and if you don’t, you are attacking me specifically! And actually, not wanting to be forced into my binary makes you the dangerous and harmful one!”