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On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

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Duolingo Sucks, Now What?: A Guide

Now that the quality of Duolingo has fallen (even more) due to AI and people are more willing to make the jump here are just some alternative apps and what languages they have:

"I just want an identical experience to DL"

Busuu (Languages: Spanish, Japanese, French, English, German, Dutch, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Polish, Turkish, Russian, Arabic, Korean)

"I want a good audio-based app"

Language Transfer (Languages: French, Swahili, Italian, Greek, German, Turkish, Arabic, Spanish, English for Spanish Speakers)

"I want a good audio-based app and money's no object"

Pimsleur (Literally so many languages)

Glossika (Also a lot of languages, but minority languages are free)

*anecdote: I borrowed my brother's Japanese Pimsleur CD as a kid and I still remember how to say the weather is nice over a decade later. You can find the CDs at libraries and "other" places I'm sure.

"I have a pretty neat library card"

Mango (Languages: So many and all endangered/Indigenous courses are free even if you don't have a library that has a partnership with Mango)

"I want SRS flashcards and have an android"

AnkiDroid: (Theoretically all languages, pre-made decks can be found easily)

"I want SRS flashcards and I have an iphone"

AnkiApp: It's almost as good as AnkiDroid and free compared to the official Anki app for iphone

"I don't mind ads and just want to learn Korean"

lingory

"I want an app made for Mandarin that's BETTER than DL and has multiple languages to learn Mandarin in"

ChineseSkill (You can use their older version of the course for free)

"I don't like any of these apps you mentioned already, give me one more"

Bunpo: (Languages: Japanese, Spanish, French, German, Korean, and Mandarin)

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An important message to college students: Why you shouldn't use ChatGPT or other "AI" to write papers.

Here's the thing: Unlike plagiarism, where I can always find the exact source a student used, it's difficult to impossible to prove that a student used ChatGPT to write their paper. Which means I have to grade it as though the student wrote it.

So if your professor can't prove it, why shouldn't you use it?

Well, first off, it doesn't write good papers. Grading them as if the student did write it themself, so far I've given GPT-enhanced papers two Ds and an F.

If you're unlucky enough to get a professor like me, they've designed their assignments to be hard to plagiarize, which means they'll also be hard to get "AI" to write well. To get a good paper out of ChatGPT for my class, you'd have to write a prompt that's so long, with so many specifics, that you might as well just write the paper yourself.

ChatGPT absolutely loves to make broad, vague statements about, for example, what topics a book covers. Sadly for my students, I ask for specific examples from the book, and it's not so good at that. Nor is it good at explaining exactly why that example is connected to a concept from class. To get a good paper out of it, you'd have to have already identified the concepts you want to discuss and the relevant examples, and quite honestly if you can do that it'll be easier to write your own paper than to coax ChatGPT to write a decent paper.

The second reason you shouldn't do it?

IT WILL PUT YOUR PROFESSOR IN A REALLY FUCKING BAD MOOD. WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD I AM NOT GOING TO BE GENEROUS WITH MY GRADING.

I can't prove it's written by ChatGPT, but I can tell. It does not write like a college freshman. It writes like a professional copywriter churning out articles for a content farm. And much like a large language model, the more papers written by it I see, the better I get at identifying it, because it turns out there are certain phrases it really, really likes using.

Once I think you're using ChatGPT I will be extremely annoyed while I grade your paper. I will grade it as if you wrote it, but I will not grade it generously. I will not give you the benefit of the doubt if I'm not sure whether you understood a concept or not. I will not squint and try to understand how you thought two things are connected that I do not think are connected.

Moreover, I will continue to not feel generous when calculating your final grade for the class. Usually, if someone has been coming to class regularly all semester, turned things in on time, etc, then I might be willing to give them a tiny bit of help - round a 79.3% up to a B-, say. If you get a 79.3%, you will get your C+ and you'd better be thankful for it, because if you try to complain or claim you weren't using AI, I'll be letting the college's academic disciplinary committee decide what grade you should get.

Eventually my school will probably write actual guidelines for me to follow when I suspect use of AI, but for now, it's the wild west and it is in your best interest to avoid a showdown with me.

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When you're sick, you're sick. That's a time for healing and resting and self care and not time for another episode of the guilt show. Don't torture yourself thinking about what needs to be done, how much more useful you could have spend your time or how this is setting you back. Everyone is allowed to be sick. Everyone is allowed to rest and heal, you are not an exception.

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refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

link.springer.com

http://bioline.org.br/

repec.org

science.gov

pdfdrive.com

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Since July is Disability Pride Month

(as opposed to every other month when we're all demure about disability rights /gentle sarcasm)

I wanted to highlight one of my favorite artists: Liberal Jane.

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It's ok to take things slow. Life is meant to be lived. It's ok to miss an assignment here and there. It's ok to skip a class once or twice. Failing doesn't mean the end of everything. There's more to life than school. Than studying. Than work. Than a planner and time block. Life is meant to be lived.

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On this blog, we support every form of progress

You learned 5 words today? I'm proud of you.

You finally got round to tackling that difficult grammar concept today? I'm proud of you.

You asked help because you didn't understand something? I'm proud of you.

You took a break from languages today? I'm proud of you.

Here's your daily reminder that learning languages is a hobby, so it doesn't matter how "well" you did today, as long as you enjoyed it!!!

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reminders as we go into finals:

twelve hour study sessions are not sustainable or healthy

sleep.

drink water.

don't cram

sleep.

you are worth more than a number on a paper

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do you need a mental health day?

hi everyone it's your local bipolar studyblr here with some thoughts on what I consider when I'm thinking if I need a mental health day. this is sort of a long post, but I think it's important. disclaimer this may not apply to everyone but such is life

when did you last take a day off? I'm talking nothing to work on, maybe some light reading, just resting your brain. if this was more than two weeks ago, you DEFINITELY should take a mental health day!

are you getting stressed or anxious at the very idea of opening your work? if yes, maybe take at least a bit of a mental health day

will it actively make you worse to not go to work/school today? will staying in bed only feed a harmful cycle? if so, maybe it isn't the day to take off. try to get yourself going and at least do something

are you having consistent stress migraines? if so, time for a mental health day

are you horribly anxious about the idea of going to school, work or whatever? this one is complicated. similar to number 3, will it do more harm to avoid the situation than face it? this one you need to face within yourself

An important caveat to this, is a rest day looks different for everyone. for me, sometimes it's nice to stay in a safe space like my room and get my work done. I try not to avoid the world too much, but sometimes I just need a break. ily all <3

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in the latest cyber-news: the internet archive has lost their case against 4 major publishing houses (verge article). they’re going to appeal, but this is still a bad outcome. the fate of the internet is currently hanging in the balance because 4 multibillionare publishing groups missed out on like $15 of combined revenue during the pandemic because of the archive’s online library service. it’s so fucking stupid.

for those who don’t know what the internet archive is, it’s a virtual library full of media. books, magazines, recordings, visuals, flash games, websites - a lot of these things either don’t exist anymore or cannot be found & bought. heard of the wayback machine? that’s part of the internet archive. it is the most important website to exist, and i don’t say that lightly. if the internet archive goes down, the cultural loss will be immeasurable.

so how can you help?

boycott the publishing companies involved in this. they’re absolute ghouls, frankly, and don’t deserve a penny. the companies involved are harpercollins (imprints), wiley (imprints), penguin random house llc (imprints), and hachette book group (imprints). make sure the websites are set to your location as it may differ worldwide.

learn to torrent. download a torrent client (i recommend transmission), a vpn (i recommend protonvpn - sign up and choose the area that’s closest to your continent/country), and hit up /r/piracy on reddit for websites. with torrenting, you can get (almost) any media you want for free in high quality, with add-ons such as subtitles, and with no risks of loss. i would also recommend getting into the habit of watching stuff online for free. the less you can pay to a giant corporation, the better.

get into the habit of downloading and archiving materials. find a TB external hard drive, ideally the higher the better. it’ll probably cost around $60 for 1TB and continue to go up, but they’re so so useful. if you can’t afford a drive, look for any GB harddrives or memory sticks you have lying around and just fill them up. videos, pdfs, magazines, songs, movies, games - anything you can rip and download and fit on there, do it, because nothing is permanent.

donate to the internet archive. this is the most important option on the list. the IA relies entirely on funding, and it’s going to need more to fight this case. whatever you can donate, do it. i promise it’s helpful.

and finally…

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studying while neurodivergent big post

this post is mainly targeted at people who are at university/college and have a disorder that makes studying challenging (e.g. you experience executive dysfunction, perfectionism, concentration issues).

however. some of these tips might be useful in general, so I'm not going to stop anyone from following my advice even if they're neurotypical

preparing for class

in general: do it. prepare for your classes. it makes it more likely that you're actually going to show up (in my experience)

you don't have to read every single word of every single reading. read the introductions, the abstracts, the sub-headings, and the conclusion. you can go back and read the rest if it feels necessary

take notes while you read. they don't have to be pretty, it's just about keeping your brain engaged with what you're learning

bring all your notebooks into uni with you if possible! this way, there's nothing stopping you from procrastinating studying for one class by studying for another class (which is a fine and good thing to do)

most textbooks are available for free or for cheap in the depths of the internet or in a secondhand bookshop :)

things to keep in mind for being in class

uni is not high school. it's unlikely that a lecturer or tutor is going to get mad at you if you bring something to stim with (as long as it isn't super disruptive)

go to class! even if you haven't done the readings! going to class will give you access to class discussions and a general flow of ideas that will help you with your assignments

skipping class to do an assignment might feel like a good idea, but it's actually a very terrible idea. don't do it. it is not worth it

be honest with your classmates about what you're finding confusing. chances are that they'll either have a cool way to explain it, or they'll be just as confused (in which case, you may have just given them the courage to ask!)

you're allowed to just walk out early if you start to get overwhelmed. people won't judge you or call you out for it. it's okay to leave early

general studying tips

association is the name of the game! pair a certain song, smell, taste, or colour with each class, and be consistent with it. our memories are deeply tied to our senses, and this kind of association will help to remind your brain what class you're doing

don't do what looks pretty or sounds cool, do what works. if you like to listen to your lectures as if they're podcasts while you're doing the dishes... great! if you like to turn facts into puns... awesome! whatever works is good!

count yourself in. if you've been sitting around thinking "I need to do maths" for the past however long, trick your brain by saying out loud "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, MATHS!" and then GO

another cool brain trick is to tell yourself that you're only going to study for 10 minutes, or you're only going to read one chapter. this lowers the barrier to getting started, and will usually help you get into the flow and get at least something done

if body-doubling works for you, then do it! organise a day each week to meet up with a friend and study together! you'll both appreciate it

keep your phone in a different room from your studying gear

get one of those content keeper extensions on your computer, and get your best friend to set the password. this will protect you from the pull of Tumblr when you're meant to be reading about politics in Botswana or whatever

essays

read the question! read it again! highlight the important words in the question! read it out loud! and only THEN figure out how you're going to answer it

you can't edit a blank page. whack some words down. come back to them later. your first go does not have to be perfect

organise your notes by theme, not by which article gave you the idea. this will help you to turn notes into paragraphs with consistent arguments

cite as you go. take note of where you found each of your quotes. it is so much better this way, I promise

your essay plan only needs to make sense to you. lay out your plan however you like. again, it's better to have something on the page than nothing

make your essay writing timeline as if you know that disaster will strike the week of the due date. pretend that the due date is a week before it actually is. give yourself due dates for smaller parts of the assignment. whatever it takes to trick your brain into actually doing it ahead of time!!

use text to speech to catch grammar mistakes! hearing your essay read back out loud to you will make it easier to tell when something sounds wrong or bad or clunky

self-care advice

you won't do well on your exams if you're having several meltdowns a day, so you better be looking after your emotional health!!

eat three meals a day if you can. bring snacks with you everywhere. studying makes you hungry, and your brain needs the fuel. carrying around emergency muesli bars everywhere never hurt anyone

have a big water bottle and also carry it around with you everywhere. when you're studying, it can be easy to forget to keep your fluids up, but having your drink bottle on your desk can be a visual reminder to keep on drinking

STRETCH! stretch in between classes. stretch after taking lots of notes. you do not want to damage your arm muscles from typing/writing too much

don't abandon your hobbies during the semester if it is at all possible. don't sacrifice your weekend knitting or your early morning jog. those are the things that you enjoy, and they are the things that will keep you sane once the stress hits

sleep early, sleep often. all-nighters are not the way

this is kind of all I can think of at the moment! I hope at least something on this big long list is helpful for anyone who is studying at the moment. remember that your grades don't define you, and that you are more than just a student!

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50 days of immersion.

Recently I’ve watched a video on youtube from Olly Richards that talked about Middlebury Language Schools (link).

I don’t know if you already know it (for me it’s my first time listening about it) and I don’t know if there are other similar schools around the world. However this one in particular is in America and it’s a summer language school with an heavy and quite odd program: seven weeks of immersion in your target language, and by “immersion” they really do mean it. At the start of the course you are committed to a signed contract where you pledge to only speak your target language for all the length of the program, differently you’re going to be expulsed. Exactly, if you speak english or another language different from your target one you’re out, and you loose all your money. Crazy right? Of course it is not for everybody and as it is said in the video, if by listening to this program you may think you’ll be able to do it, great go ahead, if not don’t even try to apply. It’s fifty – fifty there’s no in between.

However, the reason I made this post is because what really caught my attention was the lehgth of the program: 7 weeks, 49 days, but since I didn’t like this odd number, I rounded up to 50 days. And from there came my idea of “50 days of immersion in your target language”.

Of course it won’t be the same as going in this school, but I thought that if I actively study my target language and practice it every day intensively, after 50 days for sure I will make some progress, so why not?

Ok perfect, now what I’m going to do in practice for 50 days?

Do whatever you feel like, the point is that you dedicate at least one hour a day to your target language; you can practice your writing, your listening, you can study a grammar rule or learning something about the culture. Do what you feel like to do, the important thing is that you do it with consciousness.

If you really don’t have any idea on what to practical do you can follow my week program that I’m going to share down there, but if this doesn’t work for you look freely for something different!

This is my langugage week program in which every day of the week is dedicated to a particular language skill, like this:

Monday → Listening (Whatch videos on YT only in your TL, listen to podcast in your TL, listen to music only in you TL, whatch your TL tv programs or series, try to watch only TL influencers, everything that is related to listening do it in your TL, even if you don’t understand it perfectly).

Tueasday → Grammar (Learn a new grammar topic or do some exercises, it can be included also translation, tranlsate a text or a lyric from your TL or viceversa).

Wednesday → Reading (read a book, an article, if you have to do a research do it in your TL, try to read stuff only in your TL).

Thursday → Vocabulary (I would like to introduce you a game I recently played that I called “name that thing”, wich consinsts on starting naming all the thing that I see in front of me in my TL, quite funny way to learn new vocabulary)

Friday → Writing (Force yourself to write a story, a comment, a diary opening, a brief text, a phrase, whatever you feel like in your TL, follow a prompt if you don’t have any idea, like write about your family, your favourite animal or your favourite book)

Saturday → Speaking (Try to speak to yourself or, if you’re lucky, with somebody else only in your TL, BUT challenge yourself to never use another language to express something).

Sunday → Culture (learn the geography or the history of the countries where your TL is spoken, pick a city and do a research, learn about a painter, a writer, a singer or an actor of your TL or a litterature novel, a movie, a particular song, learn about a festivity… and the list goes on)

I will start doing this challenge on the 3rd of October, and it will end on the 21st of November. My target language will be French since I also have an exam to give in said language. But if you see this post later, feel free to start it whenever you want. Progression is always welcomed!

The hashtag will be, of course: #50daysofimmersion

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When you feel like giving up...

The last time I was really active on here was 2 years ago - I didn't realise it had been that long, time sure does fly. 2 years ago I was struggling with my mental health, crying because I didn't know how I was going to pass my second year macro class, with no plans for the future. But I kept going, I worked and I studied and I asked for help, and I made it past those moments that felt impossible.

Last year, I graduated with first class honours. Today, I'm working at a grad job in a place I always thought was unattainable, I moved across the country, and I get to work on issues I really care about. Things aren't perfect - I still struggle with my mental health, imposter syndrome, and feeling like I don't belong. But I'm so glad I kept going back then.

So if you're thinking of giving up, this is your sign to give yourself a break, re-evaluate, and think towards the future. It's okay to ask for help when you need it. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. But you have it in you, and if you really want to do something, I promise you the struggles along the way aren't as hopeless as they seem. You can do it.

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Things to try for a stress-free back to school

Allow yourself to focus and relax before D-Day

Thinking about the first day of school can be overwhelming. Lots of new students and teachers, perhaps a new school, classes you've never taken before or that you've already struggled with in the past...

All of those things can legitimately make you anxious. Yet, you can encourage your brain to think about what you already have, instead of what's unpredictable about the future. Take a little moment to meditate in a quiet space. Focus on your body, on your breathing, on what's surrounding you right now. Meditation can help you be less apprehensive and enjoy the last of your holidays a little more.

Make a list of exciting things

What is your motivation to go through the year? It doesn't have to be school related. Sure, maybe you're all hyped about a new class you're going to take, or about going to Uni for the first time, or completing your degree.

But, maybe you're also excited to start learning a new instrument and look forward to your first concert. Maybe it's the first year you moved away from your parents and you're ready to learn all about living on your own.

School doesn't have to be a goal in itself, it can be just a part of a new lifestyle that you're excited to experience. Finding a sense of meaning can help back to school look more exciting, as a first step toward a new part of your life.

Also, it doesn't have to be a long-term goal. Just finding something nice to look forward to in September is already a big step. There's no rush to find purpose, let's start small and easy.

Visualize your week

The first thing I do when I go back to school is to print myself a nice and cute schedule template and fill it with all my classes. Knowing what to expect in the weeks to come will help you organize and not overstate the amount of work you'll have to tackle.

Also, I like to include weekly activities that are not school-related in my schedule: when's your favorite time to do your chores? Do you cook everything for the week on the weekends, and if yes, when? When's your sport practice? Is there a day you always hang out with your friends or family?

It can be nice to have a visual representation of all you actually do in a week, instead of just school and homework. That way, you're less likely to overbook activities and find yourself overwhelmed in the future.

Bring something that makes you happy on your first day

Sometimes, it's the tiniest little things that help us the most. Where I live, the weather starts to cool in September. It's time for me to bring out aaaaall the warm clothes that have been put aside during summer and sort out the ones I want to keep or not. I'm keeping only what makes me feel comfortable and handsome. That way, I get to wear clothes I enjoy on the first day, and that makes me feel good.

But that's just my way of doing it. Maybe what makes you happy is to get yourself new stationery to replace what's worn out from last year. Or maybe you're hyped to try that new breakfast recipe you've found on the Internet. Or you're gonna meet again with friends you didn't get to see during Summer time. Or you're finally gonna be able to go back to your favorite spot in the library!

The little things bring sparks of joy during the day. In my opinion, they help provide a feeling of safety, especially when everything around is new.

I wish you all a nice back to school!