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plantypotter · 9 months ago

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pov: you're catastrophizing

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Steam billows from a clawfoot bathtub filled with rose-petal-strewn water. EMMA (30s), with dark circles under her eyes, closes her eyes and leans back against the porcelain. She sighs, the sound heavy with exhaustion.

EMMA (V.O.) Sometimes, the only escape is the water. Here, the world melts away, the noise fades, and I'm left with just... me.

A soft, ethereal glow emanates from the water. Emma opens her eyes cautiously.

EMMA Hello?

UNIVERSE (V.O.) (Warm, all-encompassing) Emma. You seem troubled.

Emma looks around the room, searching for the source of the voice.

EMMA Who's there?

UNIVERSE (V.O.) I am the Universe. The flow of time, the whisper of stars, the rhythm of your beating heart. I am all and everything.

EMMA The Universe? Here? In my bathtub?

A gentle chuckle fills the air.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Think of me as less of a location and more of a... presence. You called out, and I am here.

EMMA I... I don't even know what to say.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Speak freely, child. What burdens your spirit?

Emma hesitates, then takes a deep breath.

EMMA It's this feeling. This constant weight on my chest. Like a heavy fog clouding my thoughts.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Ah, the fog of self-doubt. It obscures the path for many travelers.

EMMA It started with something Artem said, but it feels bigger than that now. Like a thick blanket muffling everything good.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) The cycle of negativity, a familiar pattern. A trigger, a descent into doubt, a loss of clarity. But there is a way to navigate out of the fog, Emma.

EMMA How?

UNIVERSE (V.O.) First, acknowledge the fog. Feel its presence, but don't let it define you.

Emma closes her eyes, focusing inward. The steam thickens, swirling around her like a white shroud.

EMMA (V.O.) It's disorienting. I can barely see anything.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) The fog represents your worries, Emma. But remember, fog is made of water vapor, the same life-giving force that nourishes the earth.

EMMA But it's blinding me. I can't see the path forward, the good things that might be there.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Indeed. But fog can also lift, revealing a clear sky and a radiant sun.

A faint glow appears within the fog, growing brighter.

EMMA There is a little light in there.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Exactly. When negativity threatens to obscure your vision, Emma, shift your focus to that light.

EMMA Focus on the good things.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Yes. The progress you've made, the lessons learned, the small victories. These are the embers that can help you ignite your own inner light and burn away the fog.

The fog begins to thin, wisps of steam dissipating towards the ceiling.

EMMA I've come a long way. I don't have to be stuck in this place forever.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) And the negativity itself? Sometimes it can be like a passing mist, a temporary obscuration.

EMMA But not all mists are bad. They can water the plants and create beautiful rainbows.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Precisely, Emma. There is a difference between a gentle mist that refreshes your spirit and a dense fog that hinders your journey.

EMMA So, how do I know the difference?

UNIVERSE (V.O.) The helpful whispers caution, offering alternative perspectives. The unhelpful ones shout, drowning out your inner voice and filling you with fear.

EMMA I need to learn to listen more carefully. But sometimes, when the fog is thick, it's hard to see anything clearly. It's like trying to navigate a swamp at night, with only whispers and shadows for guidance.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Indeed, Emma. A wise traveler in such a situation wouldn't rely solely on what they can't see. They would use other senses – the feel of the ground beneath their feet, the direction of the wind, the calls of the night creatures.

EMMA So, how can I apply that to my own situation?

UNIVERSE (V.O.) When the fog of negativity rolls in, use these tools to discern its nature:

Is this thought a wisp of mist, offering a different perspective, or a dense fog bank, obscuring reality? Sometimes, a little mist can reveal hidden paths, while a thick fog can completely distort your surroundings.

Does this thought guide me like a steady breeze, propelling me forward, or does it swirl and eddy, pulling me back into the swamp? Helpful negativity is like a gentle breeze, urging you to adjust your course. Unhelpful negativity is a swirling vortex, trapping you in self-doubt.

What emotions lie beneath the fog? Is it the chill of fear, the dampness of sadness, or the anger of a storm brewing within? Identifying the underlying emotions can help you understand the source of the negativity.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Yes, Emma. Here's a key: When negativity arises, ask yourself these questions:

Is this thought based on reality, or is it distorted by fear? Sometimes, negativity takes a situation and blows it out of proportion.

Does this thought help me move forward, or does it hold me back? Helpful negativity nudges you towards improvement, while unhelpful negativity keeps you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.

What is the feeling behind this thought? Is it fear, anger, or sadness? Identifying the emotion can help you understand the root cause of the negativity.

EMMA Those are good questions, Universe. But sometimes, when the fog is thick, it's hard to see anything clearly. It's like trying to navigate a swamp at night, with only whispers and shadows for guidance.

EMMA Those are great metaphors, Universe. It makes it easier to imagine navigating the fog.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Remember, Emma, even in the thickest fog, there are ways to find your way.

EMMA So, the next time the fog rolls in, I should ask myself these questions and be kind to myself?

UNIVERSE (V.O.) Precisely. And remember, the fog doesn't have to disappear completely for you to find your way. Sometimes, all it takes is a small shift in perspective, a tiny ray of light, to guide you through the murk.

EMMA A small shift in perspective.

The remaining fog in the bathroom swirls and condenses, forming a miniature lighthouse on the edge of the tub. A warm beam of light cuts through the steam, illuminating a path towards the window.

EMMA (V.O.) That's a beautiful image.

UNIVERSE (V.O.) You have the strength and resilience to navigate through any fog, Emma. Never forget that.

EMMA But what if the fog seems to follow me everywhere? Like I'm constantly working twice as hard as everyone else, yet still falling short.

UNIVERSE (V.o.) Ah, the burden of perceived inequality. A heavy fog indeed.

EMMA It's like everyone else seems to glide effortlessly through life, while I'm constantly slogging through mud. It's exhausting, and it makes me feel like a failure.

UNIVERSE (V.o.) The whispers of shame and self-doubt can be deafening in such situations, Emma.

EMMA Exactly! It's not even like I'm asking for special treatment, just a level playing field. But sometimes it feels like I'm starting the race ten miles behind everyone else.

UNIVERSE (V.o.) It's understandable to feel frustrated, Emma. But remember, everyone's journey is unique.

EMMA That's a nice sentiment, but it doesn't pay the bills.

UNIVERSE (V.o.) True. But focusing solely on the perceived unfairness can keep you stuck in the fog. Here's another way to navigate this:

Acknowledge the extra path you've had to forge. It's a testament to your resilience and strength.

Celebrate your own stepping stones, no matter how small they may seem to others traversing a smoother path.

Focus on the distance you've covered, not just the vast swamp that may still lie ahead.

By shifting your perspective, Emma, you can create a clearing within the fog.

EMMA So, I should stop comparing myself to others and focus on my own journey?

UNIVERSE (V.o.) Precisely. And remember, even the most accomplished travelers sometimes face detours and challenges.

EMMA Okay. I can try.

A long silence stretches between them. The steam begins to dissipate, revealing a clear night sky through the window. Stars twinkle brightly.

EMMA (V.o.) Maybe the fog isn't so bad after all. Maybe it just means I'm on a different path, with a different view.

UNIVERSE (V.o.) Indeed, Emma. And a beautiful view it is, once you learn to appreciate the journey.

The lighthouse on the edge of the tub winks back on, casting its beam towards the window. Emma smiles, a newfound sense of peace settling over her.

EMMA Thank you.

A soft breeze blows through the bathroom, carrying the scent of roses.

EMMA (V.O.) Maybe the answer isn't silencing the negativity, but learning to dance with it in the rain.

Emma smiles, a newfound sense of peace settling over her. She knows the challenges will come again, but she also knows she has the tools to face them.

FADE OUT.

----

Inspo: a convo between me and the internet

The cycle of self-doubt is a pattern where negative thoughts about yourself lead to negative feelings, which then reinforce those negative thoughts. Here's how it breaks down in your situation:

Trigger: You hear criticism from Artem or experience some kind of setback.

Negative Thoughts: You start thinking critically about yourself, questioning your abilities or worth.

Negative Feelings: This negativity leads to feelings of shame, anger, or sadness.

Reduced Confidence: These feelings then make you feel less confident in yourself.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Because you doubt yourself, you might avoid challenges or not put in your best effort, which can lead to more setbacks, restarting the cycle.

Your internal conflict about Artem's comment highlights this cycle. Part of you wants to dismiss his opinion, but another part feels the sting of his criticism. This shows you're caught in a battle between your inner critic and a healthier self-doubt that can motivate you to improve.

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By recognizing healthy self-doubt, you can harness its power to motivate yourself. It can be a nudge to ask yourself:

What went well?

What could I have done differently?

What can I learn from this experience to improve next time?

This approach allows you to learn from your experiences without getting stuck in a cycle of shame and self-criticism.

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"So with artem, there is critique that i respond to trigger of critcism or set backs by inducing negative self-view. and instead i should focus on the positive and learning experiences when a trigger comes up. like how i've made progress, next time at work i can.. prepare. also, when a trigger comes up and i start to have negative thoughts/feelings, be compassionate and accept them, let them pass, instead of trying to suppress them. create a space to process them because clearly they won't go away."

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Exactly! You've perfectly captured the key points. Here's a breakdown of your understanding:

Artem's Critique:

You identified that Artem's comment triggered a negative self-view.

This highlights your pattern of self-doubt.

Shifting Focus:

Instead of dwelling on the negativity, you'll focus on positive aspects:

Your progress ("I've made progress")

Learning opportunities ("next time at work I can... prepare")

Responding to Triggers:

When triggers arise, you'll practice self-compassion:

Acknowledge negative thoughts/feelings ("accept them")

Let them pass without judgment ("let them pass")

Create space for processing ("process them") – trying to suppress them often makes them stronger.

This approach will help you break the cycle of self-doubt and build resilience.

Here are some additional tips:

Reframe Negative Thoughts: When negativity creeps in, challenge its validity. Is it helpful or true?

Positive Self-Affirmations: Counter negativity with positive affirmations about yourself and your abilities.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small. This helps build confidence.

Remember, change takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself, and don't get discouraged by setbacks. You're on the right track to developing a healthier relationship with yourself.

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what negative thoughts are helpful?

---

You raise a good point. Negative thoughts can sometimes be helpful, acting as a warning or motivator. Here's the key: it's all about finding the balance between healthy self-doubt and negativity that cripples you.

Here's how negative thoughts can be helpful:

Identifying Problems: They can alert you to potential issues or areas needing improvement. For example, if you have a negative thought about an upcoming presentation, it might prompt you to practice more and feel more prepared.

Motivation for Change: Negative thoughts about a situation can motivate you to take action and improve it. For instance, disliking your cluttered apartment might inspire you to clean and organize.

However, negative thoughts become unhelpful when they:

Are Unrealistic: They focus on worst-case scenarios or blow things out of proportion.

Lead to Unhelpful Behaviors: They cause you to avoid challenges, withdraw from social interaction, or engage in self-destructive behaviors.

Make You Feel Worse: They lead to shame, anxiety, or depression, hindering your ability to cope and improve.

Finding the Balance:

The key is to learn how to distinguish between helpful and unhelpful negative thoughts. Here are some strategies:

Challenge the Thought: When a negative thought arises, question its validity. Is it based on facts, or is it distorted by negativity?

Consider the Purpose: Ask yourself what purpose the thought serves. Is it motivating you to improve a situation, or is it simply making you feel bad?

Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on the negative, shift your focus to solutions. What can you do to address the issue raised by the thought?

Example:

Negative Thought: "I'm going to mess up this presentation at work." (Unhelpful if it leads to anxiety and prevents you from practicing.)

Challenge the Thought: "What evidence do I have to support this? I've done well in presentations before. Maybe I can practice more to feel more confident." (Helpful because it allows you to address the concern constructively.)

Remember:

It's okay to experience negative thoughts – they're a normal part of life. What matters is how you respond to them. By learning to differentiate between helpful and unhelpful negativity, you can use them to your advantage and build a more positive outlook.

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