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Sometimes you see the moon during daylight because I miss you and I sent her to check in on you

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My pain has been better today, I was able to get some shots of the babies playing. Action shots are too hilarious yet adorable for this world, it feels my heart with joy to be able to capture these sweet angels. Their personalities shine though, such goobers. ❤️🐾✨ I hope these photos bring you as much joy and they gave me watching them.

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it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

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reblog to scream at full volume about your chronic illness without actually moving

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Can’t believe I’ve been dealing with all my health shit for all these years and only just recently heard the term “October slide”

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Together Finally

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10/05/24

I am so tired. Life lately feels like putting out one fire as three more pop up. I’m struggling with my hemicrania continua, my pain levels have been 7/10 on a good day. 9/10 nights have become more common, the nausea, the pressure, the ice pick stabbing behind my eye as my temple pounds hard. Sometimes I wonder if I could pop my eye ball out if it would just explode from the pressure and pain.

Physical therapy for my herniated L10-12 disc… as the first three visits progressed over the span of a week and a half, I began having sciatic nerve pain on my left side. They said this was normal. Visit three I expressed my pain and they decided to run a thera gun over the areas. The electric zaps from not only the pressure but the vibration of the gun had my body twitching as he “worked” on me. “You’re jumpy” he says. “No, I’m having electric zaps in certain areas” I reply. I left in tears. “We will be more gentle next visit” they said “we didn’t realize how much you had going on” the pain ringing through my head as I lay on the table in disbelief. As if I didn’t have two prior PT sessions… as if in our consultation (and the notes I saw) I didn’t explain in depth about my chronic neck pain in C3-C5, my hemicrania continua on right side, my nerve ablation notes and all areas of my pain in depth. I went home nauseated with a left sided headache (different than my continuous HC headache which is on my right side) wondering if the Thera gun in my neck earlier had activated something. As I returned home praying the left side would stop, as I then had both sides of my head busting at different intervals. A few days later, Hurricane Helene affected the blue ridge mountains where I live. My neuro had me on a prednisone taper and after that I’m now on gabapentin slowly moving up.

The mass destruction of my surrounding homeland and communities following the aftermath of Hurricane Helene over Western North Carolina has been astronomical and unbelievable. I have so many emotions and each day is different however I am so grateful to be safe and alive along with my family.

Each day I’m exploring new specifics of my chronic pain and new found nerve pain as it slowly heals as well. Mixed with my light left sided headache (somehow connected to my SCM muscles and their pain) as well as my HC right side. They have very different feelings to them, different pulsations, sledge hammer, and ice pick modes. I can’t wait until it heals and hopefully dissipates on the left side. I’ve become more “used” to my HC side but accepting the new realities of the state of my body, recovery, and overall health feels overwhelming to say the least. So I created blog as a safe place to share my thoughts, feelings, and connect with community. And also reblog relatable content whether that be inspirational quotes, artistic creations, adorable animals, disability awareness/stories, poetry (a lot of poetry) and just overall things I connect with that bring me glimmers of peace, happiness and comfort.

We will survive The Great War.

Xoxo

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This is it. Read it, and then re-read it again until it sinks deep within your bones and your feel it click within your brain 🧠 🥹🙏🏼 I’ve been struggling lately with my family not understanding this very thing and I cried when I saw it written out so eloquently here. Thank you 🫶🏻

ive seen people talk about the whole "wow, you can't work? im jealous, i wish i could rest all the time." and like yes, it isn't restful because it's filled with distressing symptoms. but also? there is such a thing as too much down time. you genuinely don't want to be laying in bed or sitting on the couch all the time. you don't want to be stuck doing things that don't result in any tangible fulfillment, just to escape the boredom. and you certainly don't want all that on top of the pain, fatigue, etc. that comes with disability.

a lot of us don't get to go for a daily walk. we don't get to just get up and go to the store, out to eat, the library, or whatever event is happening nearby. we often can't engage with our passions, at the very least to the extent we'd like. we're stuck, and often can't meet our basic needs like hygiene. there's so much down time and nothing to fill it with. our doctors appointments might be the only thing to get us out of the house. it's depressing. it's lonely. and at a certain point you can start to wonder why you're even alive in the first place.

so no. you don't wish you could be like us. you just don't want to be slaving away to a job that doesn't care about you, takes up all your time, and prevents you from doing the things you love. so just say that instead. because as people who can't work, who are so aware of the cruelty of this system, odds are we'll understand. and instead of alienating us, we'd be able to connect with you on that. and connection and understanding is something that makes life a lot better. worth living for, even.

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